the two best friends’ descent into chaos was swift and messy. one minute it was a peaceful sunday night and the next they're losing their minds over renebaebae's follow request.

 

“accept it!”

 

“but there’s nothing to see!”

 

“just show her anyway!”

 

“what if she finds me boring?”

 

“she won’t find you boring, she’ll like all your posts, trust me.”

 

“no she won’t!”

 

seulgi looks at the little nerd with puckered lips and seungwan sends her ridiculous pineapple plushie flying into her face without a second thought.

 

“let me call sooyoungie, she’ll be on my side.” seulgi declares as she crawls out of seungwan’s bed to get her phone.

 

seungwan groans loudly as she taps into joohyun’s profile, “what has your demon got to do with this?”

 

“you trust her opinion, don’t you?”

 

in times of dire need, she did trust sooyoung's judgement more than her bear-like friend's. seulgi was good, but she was also pretty biased sometimes. park sooyoung, on the other hand, a rebellious teenager blessed with the skill of foresight, could prove useful in a situation like this.

 

“fine.”

 

seulgi hops over to her desk and begins to call for external help.

 

renebaebae

 

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irene

followed by hi_sseulgi , mo_onbyul and 3 others

 

sure, she’d seen joohyun’s pictures pop up in her explore page, but being in denial meant ignoring those pictures. things have changed now, she’s a different person, she actually texted joohyun. she’s earned the rights to gawk at a couple, maybe all of renebaebae’s photos.

 

the latest one was posted just today, a mere five hours ago. taken on the second floor of munch, joohyun’s gaze is drawn downwards with a pleased smile gracing her lips.

 

liked by mo_onbyul and 2,902 others

renebaebae ✨

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yongsun shouldn’t you be using 🥰 instead

yerimiese still waiting for a reply 🥱🥱🥱

5 hours ago

 

munch. she and seulgi were there in the morning too. and also yerimiese. how did yerim know kiyub? before she could spiral into a string of questions from one instagram post, seulgi interrupts her by flopping onto her bed, causing her to drop her phone.

 

the design student lays across the introvert’s lap, angling her phone in front of the both of them so sooyoung could see.

 

“hi sooyoung.” seungwan greets her with a small smile as she adjusts to seulgi’s weight on her.

 

the highschooler offers a grunt in response as she shuffles around with her phone, finding an optimal spot on her desk before talking. “okay what’s the situation now?” sooyoung drawls, her phone is placed to the right while she attempts to put her bangs into curlers, showing clear disinterest in the discussion.

 

“kiyub followed wannie on instagram and she wants to reject it.” seulgi gives her a quick summary and the next thing you know, sooyoung is snapping her head towards the camera.

 

“with her main?” the highschooler gasps, bringing her hands up to dramatically.

 

“yes! can you believe it? she liked my posts but didn't follow me," seulgi whines as she shifts around on seungwan’s lap, "and she followed wannie!"

 

sooyoung clicks her teeth, taking offence at the model's actions, "what the heck? who does she think she is?"

 

seungwan frowns as she watches the couple diss her potential soulmate for a full minute before clearing . "why do you want a follow from her anyway?" seungwan asks innocently, it's not like seulgi needed the attention, sooyoung gives her plenty.

 

seulgi sighs as she looks up to face her best friend, "so i can flex it and also because i want to work with her for my upcoming editorial project."

 

"yah kang seulgi! i thought you were going to ask me!" sooyoung's shrill voice erupts from the speakers.

 

seulgi faces the camera with a sheepish smile, "i am, but i need another model too."

 

snatching her phone from seulgi's hands, she sighs at park sooyoung. "give me an answer and i'll let you guys get back to your quarrel, reject it or not?"

 

"reject it." sooyoung declares confidently.

 

"hey! aren't we rooting for her to get together?" seulgi yells into the receiver upon hearing her soulmate's final answer.

 

"we are but hear me out, baby. get my baby back into view first, unnie." sooyoung coos nonchalantly as she squints at the screen to look for seulgi.

 

rolling her eyes, seungwan hands the phone back to seulgi so they are both in the frame.

 

sooyoung grins before starting her explanation, "if seungwan-unnie rejects it and joohyun cares enough, she'll probably text her again to ask why. and look, let's face it, seungwan-unnie's not going to text her."

 

the introvert bobs her head in agreement, "very true."

 

"wow, i love your y brain." seulgi's expression is plastered with a dopey smile.

 

"okay but what if she doesn't?"

 

"she will, you're not the only one feeling the attraction. if she really is your soulmate, she'll come looking for you eventually."

 

this mysterious attraction that sparks upon sight is felt by most soulmates. but it starts slow and gradual, small and non-existent till it grows into something out of anyone's control.

 

but imagining that joohyun could be feeling the exact same way as her is just something she couldn't fathom.

 

"honestly, i don't know how you are resisting her this well. all i wanted to do was to get to know my baby." sooyoung comments before winking at her soulmate whose face scrunches up into a grin.

 

the nerd responds with a guttural choking sound before reaching for her phone. she promptly taps the reject button and shuts her phone.

 

"crisis averted, thanks guys." she sighed tiredly. 

 

kiyub is constantly making her go through a rollercoaster of emotions and perhaps she's overreacting but this is how she is. and if kiyub can't love all of the mess that she is, then maybe soulmate tattoos are a lie. but deep down she knows she doesn’t want it to be a lie.

 

"what are you going to say anyway?" sooyoung questions while returning to her curlers.

 

"i don't know," seungwan shrugs, "i just don't wanna give her a stupid tattoo."

 

"she already gave you kiyub so isn't it only fair to repay it?" seulgi snickers.

 

"she's too pretty for a dumb tattoo."

 

"so are you, but you got kiyub."

 

"yah, kang seulgi, stop flirting with her and give me attention."

 

---

 

joohyun:

what the hell

11:08 am

 

she rejected me!!

11:08 am

 

yerimie:

LOL!!!!!

11:09 am

 

can't handle a tiny rejection? 😏

11:09 am

 

joohyun:

i will choke you

11:09 am

 

help me

11:09 am

 

yerimie:

uh??? text her i guess

11:09 am

 

she appreciates it when people are upfront

11:09 am

 

joohyun:

are you sure? how do you know?

11:10 am

 

yerimie:

🙄🙄🙄

11:10 am

 

she's a very different person in-game okay trust me on this!!

11:10 am

 

and joohyun, obviously, does not.  

 

she had spent the latter part of her sunday night sharing her woes with her cousin was surprisingly pretty apathetic about it but still offered some decent advice for a 16-year-old. there's no one else on her side except yerim so she has no choice but to trust her.

 

besides, she had an excuse to text seungwan anyway. and there’s no way she can ruin things through text.

 

joohyun:

hey~ just thought i'd check in on you again

11:20 am

 

are you fully recovered?

11:20 am

 

her messages are met with silence and she has no way of verifying if seungwan has read them because she's turned off all read receipts. there's no way she's turning them back on because she needs to peek at unwanted messages on the down-low. joohyun is left distracted for the whole day, constantly checking her phone just to see if son seungwan has replied. it gets a little frustrating at some point, she's never been denied anything, especially when it comes to getting people's attention.

 

when she finally sees the notification that son seungwan has responded, relief washes over her like a heavy rain after months of drought.

 

son seungwan:

hi unnie! sorry for the late reply, had a busy day.

5:38 pm

 

yes, i'm really feeling much better now 😊

5:38 pm

 

joohyun:

that's really good

5:39 pm

 

take better care of yourself in the future okay?

5:39 pm

 

son seungwan:

yes ma'am 👍

5:39 pm

 

they could end the talk there. it's a good cut off and normally, joohyun would just let the chat die. but she’s not going to let their chat die in five messages after waiting an entire day.

 

joohyun:

hope my flask is still in good condition~

5:41 pm

 

are you free anytime this week?

5:41 pm

 

son seungwan:

i'll have to check, have lots of things to do before the seollal holidays.

5:41 pm

 

you know how it is when the final semester is upon us 😬

5:41 pm

 

joohyun:

can't even spare time for a quick lunch? u_u

5:42 pm

 

son seungwan goes offline and joohyun stares at her last message for a little. had she been too direct? but yerim said seungwan appreciates when people are upfront, so she did just that and now the other girl's gone.

 

just as she's about to yell at yerim, seungwan returns and begins typing.

 

son seungwan:

🙏 sorry unnie! i will let you know the moment i have time!

5:48 pm

 

joohyun:

i'm kidding, don't worry about it~

5:48 pm

 

i know how hectic the final semester can get

5:48 pm

 

let me know whenever~ i'm usually free on wednesdays and fridays~

5:48 pm

 

son seungwan:

will do!

5:48 pm

 

another lapse in their conversation makes joohyun rack her brains for something to keep this going. anything goes, even her mildly insufferable cousin. there's no way joohyun could let seungwan know that they were pretty close. yerim might be a conversation starter and also the only way she’ll get to know the younger girl better.

 

joohyun:

by the way, do you know yerim?

5:50 pm

 

son seungwan:

yerim?

5:50 pm

 

joohyun:

yeah~ yerimiese, i saw that she follows you on instagram

5:50 pm

 

which brings me to my next question

5:50 pm

 

son seungwan:

oh! we play games together

5:50 pm

 

what question? 

5:51 pm

 

joohyun:

why did you reject my follow u_u

5:51 pm

 

son seungwan:

uhm … 😳

5:51 pm

 

joohyun:

sorry~ is it really that private?

5:51 pm

 

you don’t have to accept me i’m just curious why you rejected me

5:51 pm

 

the moment she sent that text, she regrets it with every fibre of her being. curse yerim and her suggestions. then again, you don’t normally ask someone why they’ve rejected your instagram follow request, so it might be on her for handling it in all the wrong ways.

 

in an attempt to salvage this chat, she has to rely on yerim being their only conversational topic.

 

joohyun:

sorry~ you don’t have to answer that

5:56 pm

 

what do you and yerim usually play?

5:56 pm

 

son seungwan:

sorry … i don’t feel comfortable sharing my account just yet 😥

5:56 pm

 

maplestory usually, occasionally valorant and lately we’ve been trying out among us with some other friends

5:56 pm

 

not having anything to talk about other than her cousin should’ve been a big telltale sign for joohyun that they are two very different people, but being clueless about what seungwan has just typed reinforces that harsh truth. 

 

son seungwan:

oh sorry, they're just various online games

5:57 pm

 

joohyun:

ah~ you’re treating me like yerim e_e

5:57 pm

 

i’m not that old!!

5:57 pm

 

son seungwan:

sorry! i didn’t mean it that way!

5:57 pm

 

i assumed that you wouldn’t know what those games are

5:57 pm

 

joohyun:

well, you’re not wrong but at least i’ve heard of league of legends

5:58 pm

 

hopefully that counts for something 🙄

5:58 pm

 

son seungwan:

hahahah of course it does! sadly it's not my type of game 😋

5:58 pm

 

when’s your birthday anyway, unnie?

5:58 pm

 

such a simple question from son seungwan seems almost divine. after struggling with the nagging feeling that their relationship wouldn’t progress past a pair of acquaintances, beginning to feel that seungwan is reciprocating her energy is gratifying in ways she can’t explain.

 

joohyun spends the rest of the evening engaged in a casual conversation with son seungwan at the expense of having extra work to do tomorrow.

 

---

 

son seungwan is an escapist, a fact that hasn’t changed for the longest time and probably won't ever change. there's no explanation as to why, or at least she hasn't done enough introspective soul-searching for that answer yet.

 

but diving into alternate worlds of fiction, experiencing life in virtual fantasies, all of that appealed to her. and if it makes her happy, who's going to get in her way? with her shy personality, she gravitated towards games of all sorts. jumping from genre to genre till she found her people.

 

highschool ended pretty anti-climatically for seungwan, with seulgi busy with her new soulmate, she had too much time than she knew what to do with. there’s no way she was going to third wheel on every date for the rest of their lives.

 

in the virtual world she sought solace, spending nights upon nights in everything but reality. she spent a lot of time in maplestory, an adorable little 2d mmorpg. she's made good friends, though none comparable to seulgi, they’d be there when she wants to have a good time.

 

"we're going to need another attacker." luna, her first friend in-game declares as he dies for the third time in a row.

 

she'd been practising for one of the harder bosses, lucid, with a few friends, but seemed impossible to kill without a little extra damage.

 

a blade master who goes by bread agrees with a hum,"i know someone but she’s a little brat that can really get on your nerves." 

 

"well, if she meets the requirements i have no complaints," seungwan responds as she attempts to dodge lucid's attacks, "i'd like to actually see lucid die for once."

 

"true, we gotta get our hands on that y loot." luna chuckles.

 

and so, with the addition of a pathfinder, which was pretty much a glorified archer class, their party was formed. when bread said that the new attacker could get on her nerves, seungwan didn't know to what extent.

 

"where was the holy shell? aren't you a bishop?" yeri, their brand new attacker was scolding her for the third time that night.

 

being a bishop, it means that the responsibility of keeping her team alive in critical situations rests on her shoulders. due to a bad call on her part earlier on, she had messed up and didn't block an attack that could've prevented yeri from dying. to be fair, seungwan did deserve getting told off but at least she could be more polite about it.

 

with a small sigh, seungwan mumbles an apology, "sorry, it's on cooldown. it'll be up to block the next bomb."

 

tension hangs in the air and no one speaks for a solid minute and bread turns to typing in the buddy chat where yeri couldn’t see since they haven’t added each other in-game.

 

bread: i told you

bread: she's really demanding

azure: she's a piece of work but at least she's got the mechanics down

luna: stop typing man we gotta focus

 

seungwan makes sure to pay extra attention to their new attacker, showering her with a plethora of heals and buffs. afterall, she’s dishing out more than enough damage for them to progress to the second phase. all hell breaks loose in the second phase of lucid, blame it on the lag or pure bad luck but her members begin to use up their death counts, dying out before they can see the end of this boss.

 

now it’s just seungwan and yeri, the last two survivors of a party of five. the end is in sight, they are but a few minutes away from victory.

 

“i’m on my last life.” yeri announces when lucid sends sickles flying towards her character, it’s a mistake on her part. she’s gotten much quieter once seungwan pretty much stuck to her after her initial beratings.

 

a quiet hum escapes seungwan’s throat. she doesn’t talk much when she’s focusing hard, “i got your back, i’ll keep you alive.” a simple reassurance followed by a quick use of her resurrection skill.

 

“let’s ing go!” luna cheers them on, killing all trace of animosity in the call.

 

with lifted spirits and some luck, they manage to kill lucid for the first time ever — though half the party’s dead. a celebration ensues and the irritation from yeri’s initial lectures are forgotten.

 

"thanks for the heals, azure." yeri mumbles after they had split the loot with the rest of the members.

 

"no problem," seungwan replied easily, “though you could’ve been nicer about it.”

 

“sorry … it’s just my previous parties have been very frustratingly bad, it felt like you guys were going to be a repeat.” the younger girl explains with an apology.

 

well, it was nice to know that she wasn't a rude little gremlin at the end of the day.

 

seungwan lets a smile slip, “technically, three of them died out, so i wouldn’t say we’re that good.”

 

“at least it’s an upgrade from my previous one.” yeri snorts.

 

and now, it’s time for the final question that her members have been anticipating for the entire night — whether this bratty archer would be a permanent member of their party.

 

"will you be joining us next week?"

 

all at once, her buddy chat explodes with messages from her party members expressing their shock at her decision. they trusted her enough to let her take charge of their party formation but they couldn’t fathom having someone as mean as yeri in their party permanently.

 

bread: wow azure for real?

luna: we're keeping her????

oobie: guess we're adopting her kekeke

luna: holy we gotta deal with her flaming us every week now t.t

azure: be nice guys

azure: i’m sure things will be better once we get to know her

oobie: yeah guys listen to the sajangnim

 

"if you guys are willing to take me in, definitely." yeri responds with surprise in her voice as she jumps around on her character.

 

"well, nice to have you onboard, yeri."

 

it takes a few weeks for things to smooth out and eventually the party grows fond of their young but deadly archer. their little party continued to progress through the game together, from forming guilds to defeating endgame bosses, a friendship blossomed. they had talks that lasted till dawn, played various other games and did everything you could possibly do with virtual friends.

 

at the end of the day, it’s easier to be herself behind a screen, behind a character named ‘azure’ . even though there’s a potentially ineradicable barrier between them, seungwan still likes to think of her online friends as her people. they wouldn’t understand all of her but they were still companions in a grand escape from reality.

 

---

 

seungwan:

sorry i fell asleep last night 🙏

10:13 am

 

joohyun-unnie:

yah aren't you late for class?

10:17 am

 

sorry for keeping you up u_u

10:17 am

 

seungwan:

don't worry, seulgi woke me up just in time 😬

10:18 am

 

joohyun-unnie:

have a good day

10:18 am

 

i gotta get ready too

10:18 am

 

talk to you later~

10:18 am

 

"miss son, i'd appreciate it if you'd put your phone away." a stern voice resonates through the entire lecture hall, drawing her attention away from her phone.

 

having her professor call her out in a lecture hall full of people makes her want to disappear instantly. seungwan started her day by being violently awoken by seulgi, followed by rushing to class and now, being singled out by the one professor who she doesn't want to get on the bad side of. lowering her head with an apologetic nod, she tucks her phone away and diverts her attention to the lecture.

 

it's fine if things turned out the way they did. being able to talk to joohyun felt like it was worth the trouble, they'd spent the night texting and talking about the dumbest things. from what she's gathered, joohyun isn’t all that intimidating but rather a little goofy.

 

how could someone look that gorgeous and be that adorable at the same time? and that someone would be the person she'll be able to give all her love to.

 

merely thinking about it makes her giddy with excitement and she has to bite back a grin before she gets called out again. love has to take a backseat for now because she can’t fail her final semester because of her soulmate.

 

---

 

son seungwan:

got called out for texting you just now

2:08 pm

 

how’s your day going?

2:08 pm

 

joohyun:

🤐 woops … sounds like i’m a bad influence~

2:09 pm

 

my day’s a little better now that i’ve eaten

2:09 pm

 

son seungwan:

ooh, what’d you get?

2:09 pm

 

joohyun:

spicy tteokbokki n_n!!

2:09 pm

 

son seungwan:

ahh … sounds good ... 😩😩

2:09 pm

 

joohyun:

go get them!! it’s a new shop down by the hub

2:10 pm

 

son seungwan:

going to the hub on a weekday is a big no 🙅🙅

2:10 pm

 

there’s way too many people and i’d have to wait an eternity for my food

2:10 pm

 

joohyun:

but it’s really good ..!!

2:10 pm

 

son seungwan:

for tteokbokki ..? it’s not worth the sacrifice 🤔

2:10 pm

 

joohyun:

what’s worth the sacrifice then?

2:11 pm

 

son seungwan:

fluffy pancakes hands down.

2:11 pm

 

joohyun:

fluffy pancakes? o_o

2:11 pm

 

son seungwan:

ah i mean souffle pancakes

2:11 pm

 

i just like to call them fluffy pancakes

2:11 pm

 

it's the one they serve at munch on sundays 🥰🥰

2:11 pm

 

joohyun:

they’re always sold out by the time i get there 😤

2:12 pm

 

son seungwan:

what time do you get there? because they’re never sold out before noon 👀

2:12 pm

 

joohyun:

yah … there’s a reason why i don’t have a single 8 am class ...

2:12 pm

 

son seungwan:

not a single 8 am ?!

2:12 pm

 

that must be really nice 😔 

2:12 pm

 

joohyun:

and so is tteokbokki 😉

2:13 pm

 

son seungwan:

i will try it sometime just not on a weekday 🙄

2:13 pm

 

joohyun:

and i will hold you to it~

2:13 pm

 

---

 

yeri:

yo unnie are you free

11:23 pm

 

seungwan:

i'm finishing up on some schoolwork

11:23 pm

 

what's up?

11:23 pm

 

yeri:

free to discord?

11:23 pm

 

seungwan:

math?

11:23 pm

 

yeri:

nah just wanna talk

11:23 pm

 

it's a thursday night, seungwan tries to avoid joining discord calls on school nights because she knows her friends will keep her up till dawn. but she makes exceptions for yerim, talking to the highschooler unshackles her from the anxieties that come with growing up.

 

"hello." seungwan greets softly when she enters their guild server.

 

"oh, hey unnie, is seulgi asleep?" yerim replies casually as she queues a bunch of songs with the server's music bot.

 

seungwan tosses a glance at her roommate who's bent over her screen in a way that couldn't be good for her neck and sighs. when seulgi focuses, she's in her own world, which is a good thing when she's in discord calls.

 

"nope, she's focusing now so i don't want to disrupt her." the introvert explains while keeping her voice down.

 

yerim hums in acknowledgement and goes silent, which leaves seungwan questioning the intent of a call on a school night.

 

"so what's up? we both have school tomorrow, i'd like to be in bed before midnight." seungwan prompts easily as she tabs back to her work.

 

"relax grandma," yerim snickers, "i just wanted to talk about my cousin."

 

her cousin. yerim's cousin?

 

"joohyun-unnie, if you're wondering who."

 

oh, joohyun. the joohyun she's been texting for the last few days. the joohyun who's also her soulmate that she doesn't have the courage to face yet. and the joohyun who said they were distant cousins.

 

what does yerim want to talk about? how does she know they know each other when joohyun said they were distant?

 

"hello? miss azure?" yerim speaks with the mic so close to , it’s a miracle she hasn’t swallowed it.

 

"ah! sorry, i zoned out." seungwan lies with flushed cheeks, she couldn't admit to yerim the truth just yet, "what did you say?"

 

"i said i want to talk about my cousin, joohyun. bae joohyun. renebaebae on instagram." the younger girl repeats dramatically.

 

"what about joohyun-unnie? she said you guys weren’t close." the nerd swallows nervously, hoping the highschooler doesn't catch on.

 

yerim chuckles, "she’s lying but i'll be honest with you, she's told me some things but i want to hear from you too."

 

"hear what?"

 

"don't worry, it's nothing bad. i'm on your side more than hers."

 

"is that supposed to be comforting?"

 

"not really."

 

"then what's the point of saying it?"

 

"i'm just trying to be a good ally here alright,” yerim clicks her teeth, “i wanna know what you feel about her."

 

seungwan hesitates for a moment before coming up with an ultimatum, "only if you swear to not tell her."

 

"you're so dramatic."

 

"i will kick you out of our party if you do."

 

"but you need me!"

 

"i can find a replacement."

 

yerim huffs, "you're harsh but fine, i swear on my life that i won't tell her."

 

"okay, great." the bishop replies with a grin, "i think she's really kind and pretty."

 

"that's it?"

 

"you asked me what i thought and that's what i think!" seungwan defends herself easily.

 

"heck, you're annoying, i'll get straight to the point." yerim groans as she kicks the music bot out so there's nothing to distract them, "is she your soulmate?"

 

the question takes seungwan by surprise and she freezes in shock, quickly assessing the risks of being honest with yerim. but her silence makes it evident that the younger girl has hit the nail on the head. it’s checkmate for her.

 

"holy , are you serious?" yerim gasps loudly.

 

the nerd gapes and tries to protest, "where'd you get that idea from and no she's not!"

 

"don't lie to me that pause is extremely questionable!" yerim exclaims.

 

"you swear to not tell her?"

 

"like she doesn't already know?"

 

panic fills her soul. this is the first time she's considered that joohyun might know that they're soulmates. she thought that she's hidden it well enough, but maybe she's not as sleek as she thinks she is.

 

"oh my god, does joohyun-unnie know about this? did she ask you to talk to me? does she know we're soulmates and i'm avoiding her because i'm scared?" seungwan sits up in her chair and babbles in a panic.

 

her fear causes yerim to burst into laughter, responding in between breaths, the younger girl reassures her easily, "not at all, i'm here because i care about you. she's so clueless it's almost painful, you're safe for now."

 

drawing a breath of relief, she relaxes and regains full functionality of her brain, "then how did you know?"

 

"it was a hunch," the highschooler explains, "you're forgetting that people my age are getting their tattoos and finding their soulmates daily, it's not hard to connect the dots."

 

"so why didn't you tell her?"

 

"it's kinda funny to see her like this," yerim laughs amusedly, "but you on the other hand, what are you doing?"

 

the nerd clicks her teeth in retort, "what do you mean what am i doing?"

 

"why haven't you revealed yourself? isn't it like pretty hard to hide the attraction? all these couples at school are literally glued to each other."

 

talking to yerim is always easy, though it's usually a gamble on whether she'll understand and empathise. but seungwan doesn't mind sharing her insecurities because yerim does the same too.

 

"i don't feel ready yet." she confesses.

 

yerim hums softly as if she understands but it's clear she doesn't when she speaks, "what's there to be ready for? don't you just fall in love?" 

 

"i mean … yeah i think so? but i-" seungwan exhales deeply as she gathers her thoughts, normally she could be more articulate about feelings but love is a foreign topic, "i'm not comfortable with the idea of joohyun-unnie being my soulmate yet."

 

"why?"

 

seungwan tilts her head up to the ceiling and admits the truth that's been weighing on her chest for a while now, "we're literally from different worlds, yeri, i don't know if she can understand me or if i can love her like i'm supposed to."

 

"these tattoos are called soulmate tattoos for a reason, right? it sounds pretty dumb to question what's meant to be isn't it?" yerim reasons easily.

 

oh the ignorance of youth, she'd been like that too. but hearing stories of how people don't find their soulmates or how they get rejected can really kill all that positivity.

 

"i know but it's not like people don't reject their soulmates, it still happens from time to time." seungwan counters.

 

"are you questioning your bond because of that video where they interviewed people who got rejected by their soulmates?"

 

"... no?"

 

"it was a really sad interview, not gonna lie."

 

"don't bring that up, it makes me sad just thinking about it."

 

"then go get your soulmate, she won't reject you, what are you afraid of?"

 

"because i'm insecure, you smooth brained fool!"

 

"i'll have you know my brain has many wrinkles!"

 

a pause lingers before they guffaw at yerim's retaliation. this is always how talks between them are going to go — casual with a tinge of seriousness and a dash of quips. yerim’s presence in her life is a reminder that you can still have fun in seemingly ty situations.

 

"but okay, what’s the game plan now?”

 

“i don’t know, we’ve barely started texting.”

 

“how do you lead a whole party into endgame bosses but not know how to talk to girls?”

 

seungwan deadpans, “i’m a bishop, not a flirt.”

 

“fair point, so do you want my help or are you going to wait for her to approach you?”

 

“aren’t you going to be her wingman too?” seungwan raises an eyebrow curiously, “how is this going to work?”

 

“i don’t know, maybe i’ll drop some ty hints during seollal next week. or tell me what you want to talk to her about and i’ll guide her in the right direction. either way, i’m open to all ideas.”

 

confessing to kiyub after the lunar new year doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, it’ll give her plenty of time to get to know joohyun better and hopefully gather her courage too.

 

“that works, though i don’t see why you’re telling me first.”

 

“first of all, joohyun-unnie said she spoke to you, so if you guys were soulmates, you’d know, which you do.” the younger girl elaborates, “secondly, because you’re my friend and i think you might need more help when it comes to someone like my cousin.”

 

“aww, that’s really sweet.” seungwan’s chest warms at the thought of yerim looking out for her, “but i think i can handle myself pretty well if we’re texting.”

 

“for your sake, i hope so. how can you be this bad at talking to someone?”

 

“it’s a personality trait at this point.”

 

“well, it’s a terrible one. i hope you get a refund.”

 

“should’ve suspected it was defective when i got it on sale.”

 

"can't believe they straight up scammed you like this."

 

---

 

joohyun:

i need more info on seungwan

1:03 pm

 

yerimie:

text me at night i don't wanna spend all my lunch breaks texting you

1:03 pm

 

joohyun:

yerim-ah help me 😭😭😭

1:03 pm

 

yerimie:

why are you so desperate? 😂😂😂

1:03 pm

 

joohyun:

because!! i have nothing in common with her!! i feel like i’m running out of things to talk about!!

1:03 pm

 

i have to google what she’s saying half the time

1:04 pm

 

yerimie:

LOL same 

1:04 pm

 

just say you don't know and she'll sum it up in two lines for you

1:04 pm

 

joohyun:

but i don’t wanna sound clueless

1:04 pm

 

yerimie:

but you are clueless, it's not like you know her

1:04 pm

 

joohyun:

is she really that different online?

1:05 pm

 

yerimie:

i wouldn't know 🥴

1:05 pm

 

but based on everything you've told me it's like she's done a complete 180

1:05 pm

 

i think it's just your effect on people like her

1:05 pm

 

joohyun:

on people like her?

1:05 pm

 

yerimie:

yeah like she's not used to interacting with people like you

1:06 pm

 

we're a bunch of losers online we don't hang out with instagram models every day

1:06 pm

 

joohyun:

🙄 am i really that snobbish?

1:06 pm

 

yerimie:

no … what i mean is you guys are like polar opposites

1:06 pm

 

it's just weird that you're trying to befriend someone who's out of your league

1:06 pm

 

joohyun:

who's out of who's league

1:07 pm

 

she just seems like a nice girl, okay?

1:07 pm

 

yerimie:

yeah she is a literal angel but you're like medusa 🤔🤔🤔

1:07 pm

 

joohyun:

yah … it's only a week till i see you …

1:07 pm

 

just help me find a common ground with her

1:07 pm

 

yerimie:

like what?

1:08 pm

 

should i just ask her?

1:08 pm

 

joohyun:

NO

1:08 pm

 

if you can’t be a wingman, at least explain the games to me

1:08 pm

 

yerimie:

fine i’ll drop you some gameplay links later

1:09 pm

 

i want to spend my lunch break eating now thank you

1:09 pm

 

joohyun:

okay i'll text you later

1:09 pm

 

yerimie:

you ought to pay me for my time ...

1:09 pm

 

joohyun:

🖕

1:09 pm

 

---

 

texting kiyub steadily turns into somewhat of a routine and seungwan has never been so attached to her phone until now. they started texting a few days ago and aren’t seem to be stopping any time soon, which is surprising and relieving for her. though joohyun seems to be the one putting in the extra effort now, seungwan is slowly adjusting to it as well. if either one of them falls asleep, they'd pick up the chat the next day with a good morning text to go.

 

joohyun-unnie:

okay you got me

10:12 am

 

i can see the appeal of in-game cosmetics 

10:12 am

 

but how do you spend more on virtual clothes than real physical clothes??

10:12 am

 

good morning to you too~

10:12 am

 

seungwan:

it's a lifestyle choice, unnie 😏

10:14 am

 

got an early class today?

10:14 am

 

joohyun-unnie:

nope~ just gotta meet my project mates for an interim update

10:14 am

 

i'm starting to appreciate the final year a lot more

10:14 am

 

seungwan:

what's so good about the final year?

10:14 am

 

adulthood is upon you soon 🤨

10:15 am

 

joohyun-unnie:

e_e … yah … you'll get there soon enough ...

10:15 am

 

there's lesser lectures and classes in the final year

10:15 am

 

seungwan:

which means more time to sleep in?

10:15 am

 

joohyun-unnie:

ahh~ i can just imagine being under warm blankets now

10:15 am

 

seungwan:

you would graduate from your bed if you could

10:16 am

 

joohyun-unnie:

you know me so well~

10:16 am

 

what's your schedule like today?

10:16 am

 

seungwan:

have two long lectures today, wish me luck 💀

10:16 am

 

joohyun-unnie:

son seungwan fighting!!

10:17 am

 

text me if you're bored

10:17 am

 

no wait ... listen to your professors!!

10:17 am

 

seungwan:

yes, yes i will

10:17 am

 

---

 

joohyun:

any plans for seollal?

12:05 am

 

son seungwan:

not much, just heading home to spend time with my family

12:05 am

 

my sister's flying back for the first time in almost a year 🥳

12:05 am

 

joohyun:

ah~ where was she?

12:05 am

 

son seungwan:

she’s been in canada for work

12:05 am

 

we don't talk as often nowadays so i’m looking forward to seeing her again

12:06 am

 

joohyun:

that's nice~

12:06 am

 

son seungwan:

what about you? excited to head home?

12:06 am

 

joohyun:

i’m dreading the journey back and facing my prying aunts

12:06 am

 

son seungwan:

glad to know that we have the same kind of gossipy relatives 🤭

12:06 am

 

joohyun:

my aunts are on a different level trust me u_u

12:07 am

 

son seungwan:

we should pit our aunts in a gossip showdown then

12:07 am

 

i’m betting on yours

12:07 am

 

joohyun:

😂😂😂

12:07 am

 

yah what the heck!! shouldn’t you be betting on your own team?

12:07 am

 

son seungwan:

there’s no winning against rich elite middle-aged women

12:08 am

 

joohyun:

hopefully i don’t turn into one of them 🤨

12:08 am

 

son seungwan:

i’m pretty sure you won’t 🤨

12:08 am

 

---

 

seollal rolls around much faster than joohyun expected, the days seem to be passing by a little quicker. after spending the last few days tying up loose ends for her project, she's ready to head home and spend some time with her family — which includes her cousin who she's pestering much less lately. she can't deny missing being around a big family and celebrating the different festivities together.

 

but family holidays do get increasingly harder to be around as the years go by, it’s a struggle to answer the same questions every year with the same answers. her relatives are relentless when it comes to judging her future and her love life, her looks only added fuel to the fire.

 

the dreadful question of being asked when she's bringing someone back lingers at the back of her head when her family's mansion comes into view. specifically, it belonged to her grandparents but she lived there all her life, only moving to a different city for academics in recent years.

 

a buzz from her phone draws her attention and she squints at the new message she's just received. it’s just who she expects it to be.

 

son seungwan:

i'm back!! 

5:45 pm

 

hope you made it home safe! and say hi to yeri for me 😊

5:45 pm

 

stopping in her steps, joohyun types a quick response. conversations with seungwan started out rocky but things are much better now, comfortable even. chatting with seungwan turned into a daily routine and doesn’t mind if things stay this way.

 

joohyun:

just arrived, hope i can make it through the holiday u_u

5:45 pm

 

how did your cooking go~

5:45 pm

 

the senior tucks her phone away and steps into the large property, preparing herself for half a week of festivities. she's not the biggest fan but she looks forward to catching up with her family nonetheless.

 

upon entering the mansion, she's immediately greeted by loud screaming followed by children racing across her path. she jumps back and stifles a yelp while glaring at her younger cousins who greets her with a shriek before running off. times like these, she dislikes being the eldest amongst all her cousins.

 

"joohyun-unnie's finally here!" yerim declares to no one in particular as she greets the senior in the foyer.

 

"your siblings almost gave me a heart attack." joohyun exhales sharply with a hand pressed against her chest.

 

"but they're the kindest people here." yerim snorts while slinging an arm around her unnie's shoulders.

 

"that is true," the senior huffs, "seungwan says hi by the way."

 

"i can never get over the fact that you're calling her seungwan." the highschooler shakes her head.

 

the senior raises an eyebrow curiously, "what else am i supposed to call her then?"

 

"i'm just more used to calling her azure," yerim shrugs, "now come on you're already late."

 

yerim ushers her into the living room where most of her relatives have gathered. apparently, she's the last one to arrive because it seems like everyone is here.

 

joohyun excuses herself to settle in after greeting everyone but it is also so she could talk to seungwan for a bit more. the younger girl had been busy while she was on the journey back home so they couldn't talk much. being back in her room after months feels strangely odd yet familiar at the same time, things are pretty much the way she’s left them though she’s pretty sure her room has been tidied for her return.

 

plopping herself onto her soft bed, she lets out a soft exhale. fatigue from travelling for the entire afternoon begins to settle into her bones and as much as she wants to take a nap, it’ll be dinner time soon and with her family around, it’ll be impossible.

 

reaching for her phone lazily, she seeks out her recently discovered source of comfort, son seungwan.

 

son seungwan:

it can’t be that bad right?

5:53 pm

 

i’d prefer to have you back in one piece

5:53 pm

 

dinner looks delicious but we're still waiting on my sister

5:53 pm

 

joohyun:

yerim’s sisters almost ran into me the moment i set foot in the house

6:01 pm

 

i’m not going to make it through 3 days

6:01 pm

 

son seungwan:

ah unnie you’re so dramatic

6:01 pm

 

i’m sure it’ll be fine!

6:01 pm

 

joohyun:

how are things on your side?

6:02 pm

 

son seungwan:

no running children here

6:02 pm

 

probably more relaxed compared to your family 😝

6:02 pm

 

dealt with any nosey aunts yet?

6:02 pm

 

joohyun:

don’t remind me u_u

6:02 pm

 

they’re going to keep asking me where my soulmate is

6:03 pm

 

son seungwan:

hahaha, is that really such a dreadful question?

6:03 pm

 

joohyun:

it is when i don’t know the answer either 

6:03 pm

 

if it’s not about my love life then it’s going to be about my future

6:03 pm

 

son seungwan:

well, maybe next year you should bring someone home

6:03 pm

 

that oughta keep them quiet 🤭

6:04 pm

 

joohyun:

i’m not bringing strangers home!! 

6:04 pm

 

son seungwan:

i was going to volunteer myself but i guess not 🤐

6:04 pm

 

there goes my plans for meeting yeri for the first time

6:04 pm

 

joohyun:

i wouldn’t subject anyone to their relentless probing

6:04 pm

 

especially you!!

6:05 pm

 

it’s pure torture!!

6:05 pm

 

also i find it really strange that you and yerim refer to each other by your usernames ... 🤨

6:05 pm

 

son seungwan:

hahaha it's just become a habit at this point 😝

6:05 pm

 

also i'll probably be useless considering that i'm a pretty bad conversationalist

6:05 pm

 

joohyun:

you're not that bad 😤

6:06 pm

 

a knock on the door steals joohyun’s attention from her phone and she cranes her neck to glimpse at the person who has interrupted her texting with seungwan. 

 

yerim pokes her head in with a curious glance. “dinner time, halmoni specifically requested that you sit with her.”

 

joohyun:

gotta go for dinner, talk to you later~

6:07 pm

 

son seungwan:

have a good meal!

6:07 pm

 

with a frown, joohyun gets up and shuffles to the door. “is she saving me from you know who?” the senior’s eyes light up at the thought of avoiding her nosey aunts.

 

the highschooler shrugs, “knowing her, she might be plotting to marry you off.”

 

joohyun smacks the younger girl’s arm without remorse as they make their way downstairs.

 

---

 

seollal food always smells heavenly, but perhaps the rarity of it makes her love it a little more. dinner is chaotic, to say the least, everyone takes a little while to settle into their seats and she finds her spot next to her grandmother.

 

she drags yerim along for moral support because it's rare that her grandmother would shower her with extra attention. most of the time it'll be on the younger kids who are making a mess on the opposite end of the table.

 

"you look prettier every year, joohyun-ah." her grandmother compliments when she takes her seat.

 

joohyun returns the compliment with a shy smile. they should be considered close considering that joohyun has lived with her for most of her life but university caused them to drift apart. dinner begins and everyone digs in with the occasional chatter once in a while. joohyun spent most of it idly listening to the adults chatting about politics and seollal feels like it could be bearable for once. that is until yerim decides it'll be fun to ruin her life.

 

"did you know she's an instagram model, halmoni?" yerim asks aloud.

 

joohyun snaps her head at the highschooler with a glare, her instagram gig is something she doesn't want to share with her family because they are very traditional. pursuing a degree in psychology is a stable career path and throwing something like modelling into the mix would only sound like it could threaten her future. she's not going to hear the end of it from her parents and the entire family if they find out — hence the reason she chose to go by irene instead.

 

the elderly woman nods while taking a sip of her drink, "of course, nothing slips by me. irene, right? i think it's a lovely name."

 

"it's just a hobby, halmoni, i don't plan on doing it past graduation." joohyun defends herself easily, there's no need to get flustered, her grandmother is a reasonable person and would listen to her explanation.

 

her grandmother chuckles, "really? i think you could really excel in it." 

 

joohyun widens her eyes at the revelation and yerim exclaims in awe.

 

"are you serious?" yerim chimes in with a mouth full of food.

 

the senior clicks her teeth in annoyance, "yah, can you not talk when you're chewing?"

 

"i just wanna know what halmoni thinks about your so-called hobby." yerim retorts while continuing to chew.

 

their grandmother shakes her head with amusement before eyeing her younger granddaughter, “she’s beautiful and she’s using it to her advantage, nothing wrong with that.”

 

“and you’re against my idea of becoming a youtuber?”

 

“you should be focusing on your studies, yerim-ah. we can talk more after you get into university.”

 

catching up with her grandmother and cousin over dinner turned out to be more pleasant than she expected, for the first time in years she doesn’t have to be on her guard against her aunts. joohyun lets herself soak in the festive mood for the rest of the evening because it feels great to be home for the first time.

 

most of the family retreat to their rooms before midnight in preparation for the long day tomorrow, but joohyun decides to sit out back for a little while. nights at home were always serene, but she could never appreciate the tranquillity as a child. now that she’s older, she’s a little more appreciative of the silence.

 

a sudden creak startles her and joohyun whips her head in the direction of the back door, only to find her grandmother is shuffling outside in her sleepwear.

 

“ah, halmoni, shouldn’t you be asleep?” joohyun asks quietly as the elderly woman joins her on the porch’s sofa.

 

the aged woman waves her off dismissively while draping a cardigan around her small frame, “and you’re out here.”

 

“it’s nice and quiet here,” joohyun lets a small smile escape while pulling the cardigan closer around her body, “it’s really different in seoul.”

 

her grandmother nods without saying much and joohyun contemplates if she should attempt to strike up a conversation or merely sit in silence with her. the senior shifts uncomfortably, all she wanted some time to ruminate before bed and her grandmother's presence a little unnerving. 

 

the elderly woman notices her discomfort and sighs, "i was going to save if for the last day but i might as well say it now."

 

joohyun can't help but feel anxious from the way her grandmother has worded the question, she bites the inside of her cheek as she picks her words carefully, “is this regarding my instagram?”

 

“a little, but i was also expecting you to bring a partner home this year," the aged woman speaks in an stern tone, "you know the statistics regarding soulmates."

 

the senior continues bobbing her head slowly, her grandmother’s ulterior motives are clear with one sentence. as reasonable and open-minded she likes to believe her grandmother is, there's always a catch. there's no way her grandmother would approve of such a future without any sacrifices from her.

 

joohyun feels like she’s treading on eggshells now, “but it’s much higher in seoul.”

 

the elderly woman tosses her a disapproving stare, “you remember what i said last year, don’t you?”

 

the senior tightens her jaw and nods, she can’t bear to look at the woman next to her. being from a wealthy and traditional family has never felt more imprisoning.

 

"good, this is your final year." her grandmother says with a pleased smile. "we're going to start looking for suitable partners if you don't bring anyone home next year."

 

between her grandmother threatening her with prospects of an arranged marriage and her aunts interrogating her about her life, she would have to pick the latter.

 

arranged marriages are common in her hometown where the rate of finding soulmates is ridiculously low. though it's a different story in seoul where there's a higher rate of soulmates finding each other.

 

this ultimatum that is delivered upon her means she has to bring her soulmate, or someone of her choosing and present them to her grandmother or she'd be married off to strengthen business ties. if she didn't agree, it's likely that she'd be kicked out of the family.

 

"you’re a smart girl, i’m sure you’ll understand. i can’t deny the fact that soulmates exist but we don't have to conform to that. all your aunts and uncles, including your parents, are happily married to someone who's not their soulmate, it's possible to live a life without them."

 

perhaps it's just her family but no one in this household are together with their soulmates. if it isn't an arranged marriage then it'll be them settling for the best they could get. at the end of the day, they are happy without the one, at least that's what her grandmother thinks — her parents would disagree.

 

the short conversation leaves a feeling of frustration and distaste and joohyun opts to remain silent. she didn’t want to speak out of turn, especially when it would only cause unwanted tension for the rest of the holiday. fighting her grandmother on her take on soulmates doesn’t seem like the wisest idea and she doubts the elderly woman would have a change of heart anyway.

 

“don’t stay up too late.” her grandmother bids her goodnight and leaves her with her thoughts.

 

hugging her knees to her chest, joohyun balls her hands into fists in an attempt to keep her rage from spilling. this ideology of living blissfully with someone other than your soulmate has been ingrained in her since she's a child.

 

and she hates it. 

 

how does something as simple as love get ruined by impatience and greed? being taught that it's better than finding your actual soulmate, that settling for the half of it is better?

 

going to seoul for university changed her entire perspective, it took her a long time to unlearn all of it. and after witnessing yongsun and byulyi's love firsthand, it makes her crave for a love like theirs too. a kind of love where happiness and warmth come in heaps and bounds.

 

but with how things are now, a future like that seems out of reach.