seungwan doesn't know how she manages to make it back to their dorm with seulgi in tow, but she miraculously manages it even in her somewhat drunken haze.

“so what’s the problem?” seulgi groans as she nurses a sprained ankle caused by her best friend while lying on seungwan's bed, “i didn’t break my ankle for nothing, did i?”

she’s been pacing ever since she’s managed to drag seulgi back to their dorm, there’s limited space for walking so she settles for stomping up and down over the same part of the room. nothing seems to calm the pounding of her heart because every time she thinks of that face, that voice — joohyun, it sends her heart racing all over again.

“i think … joohyun might be kiyub …” she squeaks nervously, as if the words will explode like a landmine if she raises her voice.

“can’t hear you, my leg is hurting!” seulgi drones, the warm and comfortable bed tempts her with sleep.

“joohyun might be kiyub.” seungwan repeats a little louder with her back facing her best friend, staring at the posters that line her roommate’s side of the room.

seulgi groans as she sits up, resting her weight on her elbows as she frowns at her best friend, “i still can’t hear you, wannie!”

“i said joohyun might be kiyub!” seungwan spins around and yells a little too loudly, the alcohol has long left her system, now she’s fuelled by the sheer horror that the very girl she’s been staring at all night is her soulmate.

oh god, joohyun might be kiyub.

the realisation sets in that this situation is very much real and extremely terrifying for an introvert like her. her attraction to joohyun makes a lot of sense now but in her defense, she’s never been attracted to anyone, so how is she to know? 

soulmates are destined to be together for life, it makes love easy but why does it feel so hard? the problem doesn’t lie with her mockery of a tattoo anymore but rather the person that she’s going to be with for the rest of her life.

did the universe make a mistake? how can someone like her be paired with someone like joohyun? she’s so — normal. even on her best days, she blends into the crowd without even trying. but joohyun? god, she’s absolutely dazzling, radiating her awe-striking beauty everywhere like she owns the place. seungwan can’t help but feel grossly inferior to the goddess that might be the one and only kiyub.

“huh? wait … joohyun as in bae joohyun? as in the joohyun who you’ve been staring at all night? that joohyun is kiyub?” she watches as seulgi processes her words, her voice rises with every rhetorical question she asks.

seungwan merely nods because saying it out loud scares her more than it should. the two best friends settle into an apprehensive atmosphere and seulgi is sitting in stunned silence, probably attempting to find the right words for this situation that feels a little too good to be true. she snorts slightly before cracking into an ecstatic smile, she looks up at seungwan expectantly, but the smile quickly fades into exasperation.

it’s obvious after a couple seconds that seungwan isn’t sure what seulgi wants from her, so the older of the two sighs and rolls her eyes, “so what happened? what did you say? how did it all happen and what does kiyub actually sound like?” she fires question after question at the poor nerd.

the introvert seems to be taken aback by the sudden interrogation and some part of her knows that the truth would leave seulgi yelling at her for the rest of the night. her shoulders rise slightly as she turns away from her best friend, “um … you know … the usual ..?”

“you didn’t talk to her, did you?” seulgi deadpans as if she didn’t see this coming already.

“what am i supposed to do? she’s just … so alluring …  do you think the universe makes mistakes when they pair people up?” seungwan sighs before panicking and questioning the authenticity of soulmate tattoos, “my god, seul, what if joohyun is not my soulmate and she just so happened to say kiyub? like you know how people with tattoos like ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ —”

seulgi merely rolls her eyes and interrupts her best friend’s pointless rambles, “wannie-ah, seriously, in what situation would anyone say kiyub?”

“i mean … joohyun did because she was startled by the fireworks … i think …” seungwan begins to justify her baseless excuse but her mind is quickly distracted by joohyun’s actions then, “my god, she was so adorable with her eyes shut and her hands covering her ears, you should’ve seen her!” her face lights up with glee before she trails off in humiliation.

seulgi shoots her best friend with a knowing smile, of course, she’s been in her shoes before. she firmly believes that though half of sooyoung is made up of spite, the other half still has charms that make her fall in love a little more every day.

“you’re a goner …”

“oh no … am i turning into you with sooyoung?” seungwan gasps dramatically, running both her hands through her hair in a panic, “i’d rather die than to become as whipped as you …”

seulgi looks at the tiny introvert with a raised eyebrow, “oh? you’re already halfway there before you’ve even spoken to her. imagine how you’ll act when she tells you she loves you, can you actually resist the most attractive senior on campus?” she mocks her little nerd of a friend mercilessly.

oh god. just thinking about joohyun’s attention on her — all the time, is too much for her feeble heart. she plops down in bed next to seulgi, lying down so she’s facing the white ceiling while her heart thrums rapidly. to be loved by bae joohyun is one title she dares not claim.

“seul-ah, what do i do?” seungwan cries out as she buries her face in her hands. the most logical thing would be to actually talk to joohyun, but the thing is, joohyun probably has no idea that the quiet girl is her soulmate. wait — she even ran from joohyun just now, , things might be much direr than she thought.

“don’t be an idiot, just talk to her,” seulgi shrugs as she lays back down, waving her hand in the air dismissively, “does she even know you’re her soulmate?”

“… no? i don’t remember speaking to her at all …” the little nerd sighs with a slight pout, she turns to face seulgi with worry on her face, “what if she hates me?”

“why would she hate you, wannie-ah?”

“i kinda ran from her when she tried to talk to me …”

“you what?”

“she talked to me just before i dragged you back here …”

“what the hell, wannie? you ran from your soulmate who happens to be the prettiest girl to walk this campus? she's the poster girl of this entire university for god's sake! i can’t believe you’re doing this to yourself when the universe is finally on your side!”

“help me, seul-ah! what do i do now?”

“the universe sent you joohyun and you ran! you’re beyond hopeless now!”

“please ... i won’t snitch to sooyoung you were setting fireworks off while you were drunk.”

“… fine.”

the days after learning that bae joohyun is her soulmate pass in a sluggish haze. despite asking for help, it takes no more than a day for the introvert to take her words back. but seulgi's determined to make her talk to joohyun — no take-backs. 

so, seungwan kicks off the final school term of her first year whilst undergoing a serious bout of frequency illusion thanks to the one and only bae joohyun. once she noticed the goddess, it’s almost like she’s everywhere. from the posters plastered along the corridors of her school to her explore page on instagram, joohyun was just everywhere. it leads her to wonder how she could’ve missed her striking presence everywhere. seungwan decides that it’s okay if she watches from a distance, how could she belong with someone like joohyun anyway? 

she forms an almost unnerving resolution to get joohyun out of her thoughts while seulgi figures out how she can get her best friend to say a single word to kiyub.

consulting her soulmate only makes her wrack her brains harder, sooyoung suggested that they could accidentally bump into each other and go from there. but there’s a flaw in her plans — the school of social sciences and the school of engineering are pretty much on the opposite ends of campus. it takes a ten minute shuttle ride to get from one end to the other, so accidentally bumping into each other is definitely out of the question.

she could always ask byulyi-unnie for help but the moment she brings up their now somewhat mutual friends, seungwan shuts her down instantly. and as per the nerd’s firm insistence, no one can know of kiyub’s identity until she’s actually talked to her. seulgi knows better than to betray her best friend again, she had to beg for forgiveness for weeks when she sided sooyoung after they just met.

but, there's a loophole. seulgi didn't need to tell anyone about kiyub, all she has to do is make seungwan say something in front of joohyun and the rest is up to them.

meeting up for lunch is a thing and lucky for them, in the middle of the school of social sciences and engineering lies the school of arts and design. a place where both seulgi's and byulyi's classes happened to be, it's also the perfect place to have a quiet lunch because the food there is subpar compared to the other cafeterias around the campus.

her plan is simple, tell byulyi to invite yongsun, who happens to be classmates and close friends with joohyun, for lunch, then she'll invite seungwan and they can all dine together. there’s no way seungwan could avoid talking for an entire hour, right?

fridays happen to be the only day where their schedules seem to align, so they would occasionally grab lunch together. thinking nothing of it, seungwan doesn’t suspect anything until she sees byulyi, then yongsun and finally — joohyun. the horror that's plastered on seungwan's face when she realises seulgi’s plan is almost laughable, it's a fight or flight reaction and the bear-like girl has to grab the nerd tightly to stop her from running away.

“did you tell byulyi-unnie?“ seungwan hisses in a panic as they stand in the walkway just outside the cafeteria of the arts and design school. 

seulgi shakes her head innocently,  "relax, it’s just lunch, it’s not like you haven’t met them before. plus, byulyi-unnie has been meaning to ask you out for lunch as well, i think she wants to adopt you.“ the design major’s lips tug upwards into a grin, hopefully reassuring her best friend a little.

“but, joohyun’s there too!“ the introvert whines worriedly, it’s not like she’s been overthinking the events that ensued once the new year rolled in — which led to her assuming that joohyun finds her weird, or hates her.

“what’s wrong with joohyun, wannie?“ seulgi asks as if she didn’t know joohyun is kiyub, "you have no idea how many people would die to have lunch with bae joohyun."

seungwan is on the verge of losing her , she can barely get through lunch with other people, but with joohyun around? you might as well nail her coffin shut. “you know exactly why, seul! i don't need to have lunch with her, i need to avoid her!“ the nerd’s face flushes and she attempts to walk away.

“you can't avoid her forever! at least say one word, so she knows it’s you, then you can work things out, okay?" seulgi reasons gently as she grips seungwan by the shoulders.

the introvert lets out an ugly whine but nods unwillingly anyway, she couldn’t run forever as much as she wants to. the design major grins widely as she links her arm with seungwan's and begins to drag her in.

the seniors have already gotten a table and byulyi, being the only one with direct line of sight of them, waves them over excitedly. "seulgi-ah, seungwan-ah, over here!" she pays the other patrons no heed as she yells across the entire cafeteria.

“is she nuts?” seungwan whispers worriedly while clenching seulgi’s arm.

the older girl lets out a chuckle and shrugs, “it’s just her thing, roll with it.”

byulyi sits across yongsun and joohyun who have turned around to greet the younger girls. seungwan manages a small wave despite her nerves and joohyun waves back with a welcoming smile. her breathing hitches and if it isn't for seulgi practically shoving her, she's sure her legs would've stopped functioning.

okay … maybe joohyun doesn't hate her. but does she find seungwan weird? maybe? she can't rule this possibility out yet.

from the way the seniors are seated, seungwan and seulgi are forced to sit across yongsun and joohyun, next to byulyi. being in the middle meant that she's effectively trapped for the entire duration of the meal, there's no way she can run now. seungwan can't even look up, because coming face to face with kiyub is too much. she focuses on her food, occasionally on the conversation but never on the girl sitting in front of her. she can’t help but wonder what joohyun’s impression of her is — shy? awkward? weird to the point she would avoid her?

needless to say, lunch with her new friends goes by agonizingly slowly but the conversations are mostly pleasant when she listens in, which is only when joohyun is talking. she still manages to catch glimpses of joohyun every once in a while, that might be the only highlight of her increasingly ty day. the senior has her hair up in a messy bun that somehow works in her favour, round-rimmed glasses that occasionally slide down the bridge of her nose and a — , joohyun is looking at her.

being caught staring one too many times might just be a new skill seungwan has picked up.

oh no, oh no, oh no. she's going to think i'm a creep now, seungwan panics.

she looks away just as she notices joohyun raising her eyebrow slightly. but she's saved from flushing cheeks by byulyi placing her hand around her shoulders a little too roughly.

"ah seungwan-ah, i've been telling yongsun and joohyun how much fun you were at the party," byulyi grins cheekily,  "you're much more talkative when you're drunk."

seungwan stares blankly at the blonde-haired girl, to be fair, she doesn't remember some parts of the party. not because she out or anything but in her drunken haze, she doesn’t remember much, except for the shocking discovery of kiyub.

yongsun rolls her eyes and exhales exasperatedly, "byul-ah, leave the poor girl alone, she looks painfully uncomfortable."

"oh! sorry, it's a habit!" byulyi removes her arm quickly and offers a sheepish smile as an apology.

seungwan shakes her head shyly, conveying that it's okay. her source of discomfort comes from a different person — if anything, she probably feels more comfortable with byulyi. 

"so, seungwan, how's school? seulgi never told us much about you." yongsun asks politely, it's about time they got to know seulgi's shy best friend.

seungwan looks up only to see everyone looking at her with curious eyes, she can't avoid talking now. joohyun doesn’t help as she offers her a warm smile that sends her heart racing.

nope, nope, nope! she can't do this. 

the fact that anything she says now could be the tattoo on joohyun's wrist is burned painfully into her mind and to be found out here is the last thing she wants to be. she’s on the verge of a breakdown and she looks pitifully towards seulgi for help, this situation is too far out of her comfort zone and if joohyun isn't sitting in front of her, she would've cried or ran — or both.

"wannie’s been dealing with a sore throat lately so her voice’s a little hoarse." she feels seulgi grab her clammy hands under the table reassuringly to indicate that in her time of need, her best friend will always have her back.

"oh, are you sick? did you lose your voice? poor thing." yongsun coos sympathetically, "you kids need to take better care of yourselves."

seungwan is more than grateful that seulgi threw her a lifeline, she plays along with nods and shrugs in succession to respond to yongsun.

"man, wasn't seulgi limping a few days ago?" byulyi adds on to her soulmate's list of growing concerns.

"i'm fine now, don't worry, unnies. it was just a minor sprain but all is well." seulgi reassures with her usual gummy smile.

"your sore throat must be really bad, i can make some honey and lemon tea tomorrow," joohyun offers with worry lacing her voice as she looks at seungwan, "and i can bring it over to your dorm since you should be resting."

what? 

not only is bae joohyun offering to make her tea, but to deliver it to her dorm? they barely knew each other and seungwan has been staring at her like a creep without even talking to her. she’s not only pretty but she’s so altruistic? this world is too good for someone like joohyun and seungwan can’t help but feel more and more undeserving of a soulmate like her.

"aquila hall, third floor, second last door on the left." seulgi smiles sweetly, reciting the instructions to their dorm with ease. 

this little bent on sending her to her grave.

seungwan squeezes and grinds the bones in seulgi's hand — she's going to get her back for this, so much for having her back.

"oh, that's not too far, i can walk there." joohyun’s eyes widen in surprise as she nods pleasantly.

byulyi whips her head to look at the goddess, "what do you mean not too far? your dorm is literally a 15-minute walk away!"

"it's not that bad, unnie, you're just being dramatic." seulgi forces a tight-lipped smile because seungwan is attempting to crush the bones in her hand.

“i am not!” byulyi defends with a pout, “it’s a long walk that nobody enjoys taking.”

“and yet you make me walk over all the time.” yongsun hums pointedly.

the conversation descends into an argument between the two unintentionally loud soulmates and the rest of the table could only watch with amusement. eventually, the seniors had to return for their classes and they called it a day.

the lunch plan flopped big time for seulgi, she's almost a little impressed that the little nerd got through lunch without speaking a single word. but then again, she feels a little guilty for putting seungwan through some unwanted social interaction. 

seulgi loves wannie with all her heart and genuinely wants the best for her, but she couldn't understand why seungwan is so adamant on not revealing herself to joohyun — is she scared of joohyun? did she think that the psychology major dislikes her? is she afraid of rejection?

soulmates aren’t always all sunshine and rainbows, some do face rejection sometimes, though it’s rare. not everyone is lucky enough to find the chosen one, so people tend to settle for the wrong pieces because to have some love is better than none at all.

to reject a love meant for you feels like the stupidest thing you could do, seulgi can never picture joohyun as someone that would reject her soulmate. if she did, it’d be her loss because seungwan’s the most amazing person she knows, even if she doesn’t feel that way about herself. also, if, for whatever reason, joohyun is to reject her best friend, her little of a soulmate would have a talk with the senior — sooyoung has been secretly rooting for the two to get together after seulgi showed her a picture of the pretty senior.

whatever the reason is, seulgi is going to try her damndest to get the two together. meeting her soulmate might be the best thing that’s happened to her and she wants seungwan to experience that in all her glory.

quiet seungwan is normal, calming even but a quiet and seething seungwan? absolutely terrifying. even sooyoung yelling at her feels like heaven at this point, seulgi concludes when her best friend refuses to talk to her for the rest of the day.

it carries on to the next day, even when sooyoung comes over for her usual study session with seungwan. the highschooler comes over on saturdays so seungwan can help her with studies — but not much gets done when seulgi is in the room because the younger girl is easily distracted. it’s different today, tension lingers in the air even with the tall girl’s bubbly personality.

with a shake of seulgi’s head, she understands the situation immediately, of course, seulgi would tell sooyoung everything. the giant nods sympathetically at her soulmate before deciding that she’s going to be a little nicer to seungwan today. they begin going through sooyoung’s questions and seulgi can only sulk because not only is her best friend ignoring her, her soulmate is too busy to give her the hugs and kisses she craves. the design student sighs miserably as she sketches on her bed, she hates arguing with seungwan. 

at some point, seungwan excuses herself to the bathroom and sooyoung dashes over to wrap her soulmate in a tight hug, peppering kisses on the older girl’s head. seulgi pouts as she leans into sooyoung’s warm embrace. 

“how long do you think she’ll ignore me for?” seulgi sighs sadly as she continues to draw loops in her sketchbook mindlessly.

“not for long if you continue pouting like that.” sooyoung retorts as she holds her little bear a little tighter, hoping her presence would offer some comfort.

seulgi exhales through her nostrils frustratedly,  “should i not do anything then? i mean … i just want her to talk to joohyun …”

“no, i think you’re just trying to be a good friend, baby,” sooyoung shrugs, knowing seungwan’s personality, she wouldn’t stay mad for long, especially if it came to seulgi, “she’ll come around eventually.”

seulgi hums softly as she hears the flushing of the toilet and the two soulmates split at the speed of light after squeezing in a quick kiss — seungwan forbids them to do any of the gross couple things while she’s supposed to be tutoring sooyoung and the last thing seulgi wants is to piss her off even more. the nerd steps out of the toilet and gets back to the grind, much to sooyoung’s displeasure. seulgi feels her stomach grumbling and decides she could probably get seungwan to forgive her with her favourite meal. 

“i’m going to get lunch.” seulgi declares softly while putting on her hoodie.

sooyoung shoots her a small smile and nods, “you know what i like.”

“wannie, do you want anything?” the older girl asks with uncertainty, hoping for a response, even a nod would suffice.

seungwan ignores her friend easily as she continues to explain the questions to sooyoung and seulgi leaves the room, defeated and hungry for some tteokbokki. 

much to the introvert’s surprise, sooyoung is putting in more effort today, most days she’d lose focus after an hour or two but they’re nearing the three hour mark and the highschooler is answering each question with precision and ease. seungwan chalks it up to her ignoring seulgi — sooyoung probably knows everything, but she appreciates the effort nonetheless.

their focused silence is broken shortly by two soft knocks on the door, seungwan eyes the door with contempt, whoever it is, just broke sooyoung's impeccable focus. 

another two knocks are heard and seungwan gets up with annoyance — whoever it is better had a damn good reason because sooyoung is unlikely ever going to pay attention like that again. besides, seulgi had keys and nobody drops by except sooyoung. maybe it's the resident assistant looking for seulgi to help design some posters for an event, she grumbles mindlessly as she approaches the door.

just as her hand is on the doorknob, ready to yell at whoever’s on the other side — her brain is reminded of joohyun. it couldn't be, could it? there's no way the goddess really made her tea and is delivering it to her. 

another knock leaves her frozen in her spot and she hears sooyoung get up from her chair with an exasperated sigh. "what's wrong, unnie?" the highschooler nudges her a little too roughly, sending her even closer to the door. 

seungwan jumps back instantly, she doesn't have time to give sooyoung a piece of her mind when all that separates her and bae joohyun is a thin wooden door. the nerd whips around quickly and grabs sooyoung’s arms tightly, she’s panicking and the least the other girl could do is cover for her, "get the door, if it's joohyun, tell her i'm sick. if it's not, tell whoever to go away.”

sooyoung snorts at her frantic senior and strolls over as a voice calls out from the other side of the door, "seungwan, are you in?"

yup, it's definitely joohyun's voice. this is where her soul leaves her body for a joohyun-less plain of existence.

sooyoung watches as the nerd scrambles like a rat looking for a suitable hiding spot, “under the bed, unnie, i’m opening the door now.” the tall girl sighs at her helpless friend. 

seungwan dives under her bed frame, there's barely enough space as she keeps a couple of boxes under her bed but she makes it work. the sheets drape over the frame so she remains obscured as the highschooler opens the door. her heart continues to throb with adrenaline and the fear of being caught by joohyun is overwhelming.

"oh, hello," she hears joohyun ask with a little surprise, “are you seungwan's roommate?”

sooyoung replies casually, "i'm sooyoung, seulgi's soulmate."

she hears a soft ‘ah’ from the goddess, "nice to meet you, i'm joohyun. one of seulgi's friends, i suppose." 

"byulyi-unnie's friends, right?" sooyoung hums softly, feigning ignorance, "she's mentioned you before." 

of course, sooyoung would try to make casual talk to prolong her suffering. typical sooyoung behaviour. not to mention, the way she’s talking to joohyun made it very clear that she knew a lot about the senior.

"yes, we worked on a project together," the goddess responds politely before shifting the conversation back to the introvert, "so is seungwan in?"

seungwan shuts her eyes and clenches her fists, praying with all of her might that the demonic highschooler would cover for her. the pause doesn’t help the anxiety that’s building in her chest and she has half the mind to crawl out from under the sheets to stop sooyoung from continuing to interact with joohyun.

“seungwan-unnie’s asleep now, she’s not feeling well.”

the words bring floods of relief and seungwan feels like she can breathe — well not exactly, considering she’s under her dusty bed frame with nothing but cardboard boxes for company. she rubs at her nose to hold back a sneeze that's threatening to expose her, making a mental note to tidy up at some point.

"i see," joohyun’s tone carries a little disappointment, "i made her some honey and lemon tea, could you get her to drink it when she wakes up?"

"will do, unnie, do you want to leave your number so she can text you when she's better?" the highschooler asks innocently though seungwan knows she has some underlying intentions that will probably make her life even more miserable.

there’s a slight pause for a moment as if joohyun is considering the offer, "okay, do you have a piece of paper?"

she hears sooyoung shuffle over to the desk and she peeks out from under the bed, the nerd glares at the taller girl warningly. “park sooyoung, don’t you dare!“ seungwan hisses softly but it’s not like she can look intimidating when she’s cowering under her bed.

sooyoung rolls her eyes at her unnie and sticks out her tongue cheekily. seungwan is tempted to launch rebuttals but her nose begins to itch and before she knows it, she lets a small sneeze escape.

“fine, loser.” sooyoung snorts before heading back to the door and for a moment, seungwan is hopeful that she’s succeeded. but the highschooler proves her wrong instantly, "you know what, lend me your phone i'll save her contact for you."

god, if she had the gift of height, she would've murdered park sooyoung already.

there’s silence for a while, sooyoung is probably keying her number into joohyun’s phone. after the whole threatening incident, sooyoung never wanted to save seungwan’s number because she refused to befriend nerds like her. so out of spite, sooyoung has the nerd’s number etched in her brain and if she needs academic help, that’ll be the first number she calls.

“son seungwan.”

seungwan muffles a soft squeak as her heart threatens to stop at the sound of bae joohyun calling her by her full name. for a moment she’s worried that she’s been caught but relaxes when she realises it’s probably what sooyoung saved her contact name as.

"i'll make sure she finishes the tea, thank you, unnie."

"thank you, sooyoung. it was nice meeting you, i'll get going now."

"bye unnie, take care."

as soon as sooyoung shuts the door, seungwan is crawling out from under the bed with an intent to kill. the highschooler winks deviously as she places a thermos flask on the study table.

“yah! park sooyoung! what the hell was that?“ seungwan yells as she dusts her clothes off and wrinkles her nose that’s now sensitive from all the dust.

she steps closer to the taller girl who’s seemingly relaxed and has returned to her seat at the table. 

sooyoung shrugs in amusement, “she got your number, unnie, shouldn’t you be thanking me instead?“

“thank you? why would i thank you? you should be glad i’m not murdering you, you little !” seungwan fumes as she smacks the younger girl on the arm.

the highschooler cries out in pain and shock is plastered across her face, “stop attacking me, unnie! i’m doing you a favour here, if you don’t want to talk to her, at least you don’t have to text her first!“

“oh …“ seungwan says dumbly as she stands in the middle of the room, looking at sooyoung with a little remorse, “sorry, sooyoung-ah.“

sooyoung hands over the flask with a cocky smirk, “pour me a cup.”

“i’m your unnie and i have to pour you tea?” seungwan responds incredulously while taking the flask anyway. 

“i will accept your apology with a cup of tea.“ sooyoung declares as she returns to the questions they had been working on before joohyun’s interruptions.

seungwan groans while she stares at the warm flask in her hands, it’s just like any other flask except its only distinct feature is the slightly faded bunny sticker on the side of the bottle. she can’t believe she’s holding joohyun’s flask, with tea that she made. as worried as she is about joohyun having her number now, she still can't help but let a grin slip.

“fine … just to be clear, i’m doing it because i want to apologize, not because you asked me to.”

“yeah, yeah, hurry up, i still have a few more questions.”

when seulgi finally returns to the room with lunch, seeing sooyoung and seungwan sipping on some tea makes her understand sooyoung’s string of questionable emojis. her soulmate had sent her a text without any explanation and the design student couldn’t decipher it even if her life depends on it.

seungwan accepts her apology meal to seulgi’s delight, but it doesn't mean that she’s talking just yet — she’s just not one to reject a meal, especially her favourite meal, when her stomach is growling. 

the silence lasts until sooyoung has to leave and the two best friends are alone again. 

“can we talk? i want to apologize.” seulgi finally asks when the tension in the room becomes unbearable.

the introvert takes a deep breath and exhales, she’s been waiting for seulgi to offer an apology. but as much as she’s angry at seulgi, she’s more than aware her best friend only has her best interests at heart, so how could she remain mad at the girl who’s currently pouting with puppy eyes?

“we should talk.” seungwan gives in with a soft exhale as she turns to face her best friend who’s currently sulking on her own bed.

seulgi’s eyes light up at the sound of that and she rushes over to embrace her little nerd tightly in a side hug. seungwan untangles herself from the older girl's arms and opts to lie on her bed, staring at the ceiling. she sighs softly, trying to piece together her thoughts that were the result of many sleepless nights of overthinking.

“okay, i know you’re probably mad at me and you have every right to be, but all i want is to help you,” seulgi sits in seungwan’s warm chair, shifting it a little closer to her best friend, “there are just some things i don’t understand.”

“what things?” seungwan questions as she rolls over to face her best friend, resting her head on her arms.

seulgi frowns while adjusting her position to be a little more comfortable, with both her legs on the chair, she hugs her knees and rests her head on her arms. “i don’t get why you’re not talking to joohyun, does she scare you or something?”

the introvert’s gaze drops to the carpeted floor, being scared isn’t the right word though there is some reluctance to see the goddess. shrugging slightly, she responds softly, “i’m not, seul, i- … i just don’t want to see her.”

“but, don’t you want her to be your soulmate? do you not like her or something?” seulgi’s frown turns a little more dejected at her incomprehension.

seungwan shakes her head slowly, “no … i like her … or i think i do, because she makes my heart beat so fast even when i know nothing but her name — is this what infatuation feels like?”

“i’m pretty sure you guys are soulmates because that’s what i felt when i first saw sooyoung,” seulgi reaches out to move a stray strand of hair from her face, “so what’s keeping you from her, wan-ah?”

“i don’t know, seul … she’s so nice and pretty and now she’s made tea for me? it just feels too good to be true, y’know? what if i talk to her and she’s not my soulmate?” seungwan mumbles in distress, half aware of how miserable she sounds for someone in her position.

“then it means she’s not kiyub and you just have a big fat crush on the pretty senior, which is normal because that’s like half the school population,” seulgi reassures simply, “but wouldn’t it be amazing if she’s actually your soulmate?”

seungwan feels like crying, she doesn’t know why but the idea of having a soulmate scares her a little. she never anticipated that this day would come this quickly and she doesn’t feel ready to be loved. maybe it’s because of how closed off she usually is, maybe it’s because she’s afraid they’ll be like everyone else who doesn’t seem to get her jokes, or enjoy her music, or her as a whole.

for the longest time, she's been content with her sole friendship with seulgi. seulgi is familiar, seulgi is easy, seulgi won't hurt her. joohyun feels like she's going to be everything but that, unfamiliar and terrifying and seungwan isn't certain that she wants to go through all of that just yet.

“what are you afraid of, wannie?” her best friend asks softly, reaching out to pat her head gently.

the introvert reaches for her pillow and hugs it little tighter even though she knows she'll be safe with seulgi. there’s nothing is comforting about having to open up pandora's box filled with her worries and insecurities.

"i don't think she'll like someone like me …" seungwan admits softly, finally looking up at her confidant.

it's heartbreaking for seulgi to hear how lowly seungwan thinks of herself, if only she could see what seulgi sees. amazingly smart, passionate, sweet, what's not to love? seulgi moves out of her chair to squat just in front of seungwan, cupping her cheeks lightly, she forces the girl to look at her.

"yeah, she won't," seulgi begins to speak, she's not going to let her precious little nerd beat herself up like this, "because she'll love you. she'll fall head over heels for you and in the moments where you can't love yourself, she will." 

a tear pushes its way past her lashes and lands on seulgi's hand, the design major wipes them away easily with her thumb and continues to speak. "she's going to love you more than me, she's going to laugh at your bad jokes, play your games even if she doesn't know how to, binge-watch anime with you because she knows how excited you are to finally be able to watch everything at one go.”

seungwan begins to tear up as a surge of warmth fills her chest, she really lucked out with her friendship with seulgi. 

the older girl carries on in her affirmative talk, patting the smaller girl reassuringly, “she will see things that you don't, pieces that you try to hide, pieces that you don't like, she'll love them all, because those pieces are a part of you. you are an amazing person, wannie, and kiyub will love all of you."

at the end of her long speech, seungwan is sniffling hard. she hops off the bed and lands in seulgi's warm embrace. her best friend holds her tightly, cooing softly while her head. the introvert’s arms find themselves around seulgi’s neck and she feels so grateful to be loved.

"you know how much sooyoung and i argue," seulgi smiles at the thought of her soulmate, "we can't always see eye to eye, but i know at the end of the day, there's no one else i want to give my love to — apart from you at least."

seungwan chuckles softly while her face is buried in seulgi's chest, there's still so many thoughts in her head threatening to consume her. though hearing these words from seulgi is comforting, it doesn't do much to dissipate her worries.

"do you ever feel like sooyoung is too good for you?" the nerd asks softly, voice slightly muffled from resting her cheek against her best friend's chest.

the bear-like girl nods, her as they sit on the floor in each other's arms. "when she gives me cuddles or gets me icecream without me asking, it's always the little things that make me feel like maybe god really did send me an angel with the personality of a demon.”

this earns a quiet laugh from the smaller girl, "the world would end if park sooyoung was nice."

"it would," seulgi agrees with a small giggle, "but it wouldn't if you talked to joohyun."

seungwan sighs at the sound of her soulmate's name, "i don’t know, seul … i’m scared she won’t like me even if she is my soulmate.”

“don’t you think you’re judging her a little too quickly?” the taller girl sighs softly as she continues to hold her best friend, “you see joohyun as an ethereal being of perfection instead of who she really is. do you even know what she’s like? no, you don’t. you’re afraid of the joohyun you have created in your head, not who she actually is.”

ah.

seulgi’s words make a lot of sense, her best friend has hit the bull’s eye on all her worries, breaking them down into digestible fragments of feelings. sometimes you just need someone to point things out to you, even if they are so obvious.

a weight is lifted off her chest as she tightens her arms around seulgi and lets the tears fall freely once again. to live in a world without seulgi is nothing short of a nightmare, but no words could fully express her gratitude and love for this sweet girl she calls her best friend. but seungwan knows seulgi can feel it all.

“i will talk to her … at some point …”

“i know you will, i’m only here to knock some sense into you because you deserve more than just my love.”

“but your love has been more than enough.”

“you can never have too much love.”

seungwan buries her face in the crook of seulgi’s neck and the two best friends sit in silence for the longest time, like they used to before and for many years to come.