Haseul's part time work had such good hours that sometimes, it felt like she didn't work at all. 

It really felt like that on her second day off in a row. And she was beyond excited: she'd had fun the day before reading to her grandmother and chatting with Yeojin. But today, her and Yeojin are going to the beach. It would be so lovely to sit under the shining sun, relaxing and eating snacks, but most of all, it would be lovely to see Vivi. 

Haseul had been embarrassed yesterday when Yeojin mentioned it, but she had been right: she missed Vivi, and she missed her a lot. It was stupid to have such a crush on a girl she really, barely knew. But Haseul didn't think she could help herself if she tried. 

The high school senior pondered all of this as she got ready to go, being sure to slip her one piece swimsuit before she put on the rest of her clothes. She hadn't forgotten Vivi's promise to teach her how to swim, and hopefully Vivi remembered as well. The more Haseul thought about it, the more she was fine with being seen in her swimsuit, if it meant spending some extra time with Vivi. Our Beach was normally empty anyways. 

After throwing her things into her bag, Haseul opened the door to see Yeojin standing in front with her small hand poised to knock. 

"Ready?" 

"Of course!" Haseul answered with a big grin. Yeojin smiled too, and the girls headed out of the door. 

It was one of the most beautiful and sunny days in a long time, and Haseul could feel the joy in herself. There was nerves coursing through her about the swimming and the swimsuit in public and the trying something new for the first time thing, but there was excitement there too. It was the first time she'd felt this way in a while. What was it? Was it the prospect of seeing Vivi? Of course it was, but Haseul knew it was more than that. She just couldn't place quite what it was. 

And before she even noticed, her and Yeojin had arrived. 

Our Beach's beauty never failed to stun her, gazing out over the softly crashing waves and the cream sand and the deep blue, clear water. She tossed her shoes off and exhaled as she dipped her toes between the warm sand, before running after Yeojin down the shore. 

Yeojin flopped into the sand and sighed. 

"Yeojin," Haseul whined, without an inch of frustration in her tone. "You're gonna get all sandy. Put down the sheet first." 

"Fine, fine," she jokingly answered, pulling the sheet out of her bag. There was a slight breeze, bringing comforting cool into the shining bright sun of the day, but it didn't hinder the girls from setting down the sheet. The girls took a seat down, Yeojin rapidly opening her bag to get out the snacks: frosted animal crackers and chex mix (they'd gone to the grocery store recently). 

"It's good to be back," Yeojin said as she stuffed a handful of chex mix into . 

"Yeah," Haseul answered, and her eyes turned to the lifeguard tower. 

Vivi was talking to the same male lifeguard from the other day, clearly passing off the shift. But her and Vivi locked eyes, and the smile that bloomed on Vivi's face at her gaze practically sent her into a frenzy. She kept her cool, only to avoid some teasing from Yeojin (which would inevitably come anyways), but damn it was hard with Vivi's beach swept hair and easy smile on her. 

And Vivi and the other lifeguard finally stopped talking and he finally sat down and Vivi finally came racing down from the tower to where Yeojin and Haseul had set up. By the time she reached them she was breathing heavily from running, but there was a massive smile on her face. 

"Hi," she spoke, before realizing maybe she'd been a bit overeager. She stood up straighter and giggled a little at herself. 

Yeojin made an amused face but Haseul did not notice Vivi's overenthusiasm; she just matched it with her own excitement. 

"H-Hi," Haseul stuttered back. 

Yeojin stuffed a final handful of chex mix into and stood up. "I'm going into the water! Have fun ladies." 

Vivi and Haseul said quick goodbyes to the ten year old before turning back to each other. Some of that shyness that always managed to happen around a crush returned, now that it was kind of just the two of them. But Haseul wouldn't call it awkwardness. 

"W-wanna sit?" Haseul asked. 

Vivi perked up a little. "Yeah!" 

And the two sat down on that sheet, staring out at the ocean and Yeojin swimming in the water, trying to come up with what to say. Haseul knew it wasn't because they didn't have anything to say: it was just them. 

"Want a snack?" 

"Oh, I'd love one." Vivi grabbed a large handful of the frosted animal crackers and Haseul grabbed the chex mix for herself. 

Suddenly, Vivi fell quiet and stared down at the crinkly bag. "I missed you," she mumbled. 

Haseul felt her face and heart burst into flame. Her nerves were thrumming under her skin and she...she couldn't believe it. It was more about the way Vivi said it: like it was serious. Like she meant it. 

"I-I missed you too..." Haseul managed to answer, and Vivi gave her the most brilliant of smiles. 

~~~~~~~~~~

When the sun was at its highest point in the sky, Vivi turned to Haseul. 

"Do you remember when I asked you if you wanted swimming lessons?" 

Haseul vigorously nodded. "Of course!" 

"Well...are you still down?" 

"Totally!" 

"Great," Vivi said. "Are you ready?" 

"Yup." 

Just then, Yeojin splashed her way out of the water and ran back to wear the girls were. 

"What's up?" 

"I'm teaching her how to swim," Vivi explained. 

"Oh thank god," Yeojin groaned. "She can finally stop being boring and come play with me." 

"Will you be alright here on your own?" Haseul asked. 

Yeojin made a face. "Um, duh. Anyways, the lifeguard is here." 

"We have to watch the shore and the water. Don't worry, she'll be fine," Vivi explained.

"Anyways, I come here by myself all the time. For the millionth time, I am not a baby." 

"Alright, alright," Haseul said with a chuckle. 

"Are you just nervous and procrastinating?" Yeojin teased. 

"Uh, no," Haseul said. But she was lying. 

It had all been fine when she was on her way but now that it was actually time...she was incredibly nervous. Why had she agreed to do this with Vivi? She was really just allowing herself to look like an absolute ing idiot in front of her gorgeous crush, who was actually good at this. It would be nice to spend more time with her and get to know her (and see her do something she was good at). But was all that worth it? 

And that wasn't even mentioning her body issues. The last time Haseul had been willing to go out in public in just a swimsuit was before she hit puberty, when she was just a little kid. It was just so uncomfortable. There weren't many people out; if it was packed on the beach Haseul would've considered cancelling the entire thing. But even those few people made Haseul a little uncomfortable. They weren't even looking at her: they were far too busy doing their own thing. But part of her didn't want anyone to see her in her swimsuit. She just, kind of felt....ashamed. 

But she couldn't go in the water in her clothes, right? They would get all wet and gross, and she couldn't swim, and that would probably just draw more attention to herself anyways. 

At least she was wearing a one piece, right? Even if it wasn't the cutest swimsuit, she was as covered as she could be. 

So, with a deep breath, she tore off all her clothes and ran into the water. She reached there in just a few seconds and breathed a sigh of relief; when she was in the water, nobody could see her body. But then, she tensed again. 

"!" She cried. Haseul had forgotten just how cold ocean water could be. She hadn't been in this much in so many years, most of her body surrounded by the water, and it was jarring: the seaweed lapping at her toes and the water lapping at her shoulders. Honestly, Haseul knew it wasn't that cold. But compared to the air and because of how long it had been since she'd been in this situation before, she was shivering

"Wait for me!" Vivi yelled to her, and laughing loudly, she splashed into the water herself. Without hesitation she dipped her head under the water, getting all of her hair wet. And she didn't look stupid in the slightest; in fact, she looked like an absolute ing mermaid. Haseul didn't know if she could do that just yet. "How is it?" 

At first, it had been totally jarring. But after a few moments in....it was starting to be nice. Still jarring, but in a nice way now. The water was cool and refreshing compared to the warm air, and Haseul felt so alive. 

"It's really nice," Haseul honestly answered. 

"I know. The water here is pretty great. Nice and clean and cool. Sometimes, you get in at a beach somewhere and you can feel it's kinda dirty, or you can feel just how many people are in the water."

Haseul hummed and let her fingers ripple through the water. 

"So...first thing you're gonna have to do is get your hair wet," Vivi said, and Haseul groaned loudly, making a pouty face. Vivi gave her the softest of smiles before continuing. "I know, I know, it seems kinda scary and gross. But you're gonna have to go underwater at some point, and you won't feel weird about it later. Plus, I think it makes you warmer." 

Haseul took a deep breath. "You're right, you're right," she mumbled. 

"Do you want to go together?" 

"Are you gonna just pretend to go under and laugh when I come up?" 

"No way!" Vivi cried, laughing softly. "I'm not Yeojin." 

Haseul laughed at that. "Alright, alright." 

Vivi grinned. "Ready?" Haseul nodded. "One, two, three!" 

And on three, Haseul ducked her head under and came right back up. When she opened her eyes, Vivi was just as wet as she was, her hair dripping on either side of her face. 

"How was it?" 

Haseul laughed. "Totally fine. I don't know what I was fussing about." 

"Don't feel bad about it. It's a weird thing," Vivi answered. "But I'm glad you feel better. Do you think you're ready to start learning?" 

Haseul's body insecurities were gone for the moment, hidden by the mass of the ocean. She wasn't so embarrassed about not knowing; Vivi didn't seem to care. In fact, she was so nice, enjoying helping Haseul get more comfortable in the water. So...yeah. She was as ready as she could be. 

"Yeah, I think I'm ready." 

"So...how much do you know?" 

"Nothing." 

"Nothing? Not even treading water?" 

"Nope. I don't even know how treading water works." 

Vivi chuckled, but it wasn't judgemental. It was more comiserating. "Then I guess I know where we'll start." 

~~~~~~~~~~

"," Haseul whined loudly. They had been at it for a while, but still, nothing. Haseul knew she was bad at a lot of things, but it turns out swimming was really hard. She still hadn't even gotten the hang of treading water. How would everything else be later on. "I ing at this." 

"What? No you don't," Vivi answered, going underwater again to check Haseul's form. Despite Haseul's absolute miserable failure, Vivi had been endlessly patient. Haseul felt as though she didn't deserve any of it. 

"Yes I do! I can't even tread water." 

"Stop. Take a break," Vivi said and Haseul breathed a sigh of relief, letting her feet rest on the sand below. "You know, nobody's good at first." Vivi put her hand on Haseul's arm and it was cold and wet but Haseul felt better immediately. "Nobody's good at anything at first, I think. But as long as you keep practicing, you're gonna get better. I promise. You just have to keep going and not letting failure at first get you down. You know, how long have we been working at this?" 

Haseul hummed. "An hour?" 

"Yeah! Only an hour. It takes time to learn things. So there is no reason you should feel bad, or that you should be better at this point. Just let yourself be. Let yourself take time, okay?" 

Haseul sighed softly. Vivi's words were like a salve on her burned heart and her twisted up stomach, releasing her tension, and humiliation, and worry that she'd always just be bad at this sort of thing.

It was so interesting about Vivi...she'd known her for such a short amount of time, but she seemed to have all this power over her: not in a bad way, of course. But Vivi had the power to make her feel all kinds of ways: lovestruck, shy, happy, okay. But there was some currrent running under every interaction she and Vivi had. Something that always made her feel okay. Like even if she embarassed herself, Vivi wouldn't leave her alone. Something that made her feel like she could always, always be herself, and not lose the things she wanted the most. Something that made it okay to go into the deep blue of the ocean, completely unknowing how to deal with it, with Vivi by her side, as protection. 

What was the word? 

Haseul smiled a little. 

Safe. Vivi made her feel safe and Vivi herself felt safe.