​​The biggest reason that made Choi Yena reluctant to pay even one visit to Jigumina in the last 14 years was that she could not handle the aftermath of the elopement of her dear brother and best friend. Being the one who stayed behind, she witnessed the nasty fights between her parents and Yeri's family. These adults who were supposed to be the beacon of life attacked each other with fabricated accusations as if they were hooligans. Her parents, being much less educated and poorer, were on the inferior side. Yena, who was just a teenager at the time, felt so torn that, in a way, she was happy about the accident that gave her a chance to leave Jigumina.

But tonight, she is left with no choice but to knock on her parent's door again.

Yena arrived in Jigumina after one hour of flight. It should have been a day to remember as she finally succeeded in flying Durk (name of the dragonfly) for a real trip, but she has no room for celebration. She felt so unsettled that she couldn't even finish the meal prepared by the Palace and hurried to the place where Master Akimoto's studio used to be. It is rebuilt and run by his most senior disciple.

But she was told that they have not received any letters from Yeri.

"We have resent every letter or parcel we received for Master Akimoto to his new place, but we haven't received anything for you, and definitely not from Yeri or Jihoon. I think you should go home and ask your parents. Yeri's parents passed away a few years ago, just in case you haven't heard about the news." The senior said in a cold manner, making Yena feel that she was not welcome.

The night is still young. According to Yena's memory, her parents should be still in the market serving dinner. It was a small food stall run by her mother after her first husband died to feed Jihoon and herself. It was closed for a while but reopened after Yena was born because they needed extra money to treat a rare sickness Yena got when she was a baby.

Yena nearly cannot recognize the food stall. It has been expanded into a semi-outdoor restaurant built with solid wood. Not without hesitation, she cautiously walks towards the kitchen where her mother is frying noodles.

"Eomma..." Yena calls gently.

Even though it is a small voice, Yuhjung raises her head instantly, and she looks as if she has seen a ghost. "Yena?"

Yena nods.

"Why don't you tell us before you come?"

"I..." Yena starts and stops. It feels like a big lump in .

Yuhjung suddenly turns to her back and shouts, "Yena appa, our daughter is back!"

As Yena's father runs to the kitchen, some customers start to cheer.

"Sajangnim (boss)! Is this your filial piety daughter who sent the money to build your palace?" Someone shout and others immediately seize the opportunity to ask Yena for a favor, "filial piety daughter, you should treat us dinner, your father always bragged that you are rich and famous."

Yena is totally dumbfounded. She stares at her father in shock – now she can guess why her senior treated her coldly – if you have a father who brags to everyone about how rich and successful his daughter is...Anyway, Seojing just pulls her into a bear hug in a cocky smile.

"What happened?" Yena gently pushes away her father.

"Well..." Seojing just laughs, "the money you sent us every year."

"What money..." Yena stutters.

Yuhjung immediately takes the chance to hug her daughter. "What brings you here? I know you well, you won't come back to see your parents for no reason."

Yena signs and swallows, "Eomma...I...em...I need to – did you receive the..the letters...Yeri sent me?"

"What letters?" Yuhjung scoffs and obviously she is lying, "is that the only reason?"

"I need to break a news..." Yena murmurs, "but..."

"Burnt!" Someone shouts and Yuhjung hastily rushes to turn off the fire and throw away the food quickly.

"Ah...it's ruined!" The older woman screams in frustration, and Yena feels like hiding again.

Yena broke the news about Jihoon's death after they went home. She was surprised by her parents' calmness and she immediately panics with the realization. When Seojing hands her the bag of Yeri's letters, some of the letters have been opened, obviously read.

"How dare you read my letters?" Yena screams and stomps her feet.

"We are sorry," Seojing murmurs after a long silence, "but just imagine how devastated it was for you to have lost both children within a few months...I apologize again, that's the only way we can know about his situation."

Yena sneers, "oh, but you never asked about my situation!"

"No, my dear," Seojing shakes his head, "we cared a lot about you, just we know that you are angry with us, so we thought it will be better to communicate with your master. We never told you about this. Your master promised to take care of you as his daughter before we let you go, and he secretly sent us your reports together with a generous allowance every year. We heard everything about you, we are so proud of you."

Yena drops her jaw but can't utter a word.

"You were only 16. Even though you have performed the rite of passage ceremony, you were still a baby to us, how can we just let you go?" Yuhjung gently wipes off Yena's tear with her sleeve, "but we have stopped reading after Jihoon's death..."

"But why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you re-send the letters to me?" Yena whines, but her voice sounds much calmer.

"You read the letters and you will understand the reason why," Seojing says with an expression that cannot be read. "We didn't even tell the master."

Yuhjung nods, "We really don't know how to deal with Jihoon's death, but more we don't know how to deal with, is the content of these letters – Yena, please forgive us...but we promise we will keep the secrets to our deathbed."

"Right," Seojing pats heavily on Yena's shoulder, "we may be sordid commoners, but we value the chivalrous spirit like a warrior."

Yena falls silent so her parents decide to leave her alone.

Yena takes the bag and goes back to her own room. Still shaking from the shocking information, she takes out all the letters and arranges them according to the mailing dates on her bed with her trembling hands. She tries to count the letters but has to re-count a few times before she can get the correct number.

15 letters in total – with the first 8 being opened.

Yena picks up the oldest letter and pulls it out from the envelope.

Dear Yena,

I deeply apologize for running away with Jihoon. I don't know what Jihoon has done to make everyone angry, even our master is not on his side! I am really disappointed. Jihoon says they didn't allow us to get married because marrying a mage will elevate a commoner, and they didn't want to see him strong and powerful. I doubt this but I just could not say no to him. I guess love is blind...

Oh yes! We are official – I mean me and you. We are sisters-in-law, Yena. Jihoon and I went to Arukas and got married there! The Arukasian priest that performed the marriage ceremony for us was very kind and accepting. I now understand why so many Tokkizans like to marry Arukasians or get married on the other side of the Music Corridor (a.k.a. in Arukas). This is truly the most civilized place on earth...

The first letter was comparatively short, showing that Yeri was immersed in her happiness. The second letter was sent a few months later.

Dear Yena,

We are traveling around Arukas. Jihoon told me he learned about a secret book that circulates around Arukas when he was young. He said that the book can turn a commoner into a celestial by learning a very powerful martial art. He said that he told our master about this book but the master saw this as a betrayal and started to dislike him – I really cannot judge, but I started to understand Jihoon more that he has a hunger for "success" if you get what I mean. But we all think he was one of the brightest pupils under our master, right? Anyway, Jihoon said he will gain a lot of respect and no one will look down on him anymore if only can he find the book...

Yeri kept on praising Jihoon and expressing how happy she has been spending her life with Jihoon, so Yena jumps to the next letter.

Dear Yena,

I am not sure if this letter can reach you safely. The Cistumons have started to invade Arukas from the northern frontier. If there is really a war, either we hide in Arukas or we go back to Tokkiz as soon as possible. But I know Jihoon won't want to go back. I understand him more and more and I think he is really obsessive about his childhood trauma and thinks that everyone looks down on him. Yena, maybe you are too young to know your brother well. You folks are 10 years apart, right? I cannot convince him anyway. – Yena, what should I do?

The first three letters were sent within a few months after Yeri and Jihoon left, but the fourth letter was dated three years later. Yena now understands the meaning of her father's word: "you read the letters and you will understand." It seems that within these three years, the relationship between the two has deteriorated rapidly. Jihoon was not sweet and gentle anymore and Yeri also sounded mentally unstable - her sentences are incoherent and her beautiful handwriting almost turned illegible. Against Yeri's wish of going home, Jihoon joined the military as a volunteer when the King of Tokkiz led his army to aid Arukas in person. It was a tragic war, and Jihoon was wounder and became withdrawn. They "settled down" in a small village near the border when Jihoon suddenly changed his mind and refused to retreat along with the Tokkizan army.

The next letter is dated nearly a year later, the handwriting is much tidier this time. It's almost 10 pages long and is written at different times. Yeri mentioned she sold her last piece of jewelry to send the letter.

Dear Yena,

If there is a life-changing event – I used to think that it was when I ran away from home – to a certain extent, it was, but not anymore. Yena, congratulate me, I am a mother now! Raising a child is truly life-changing, and more rewarding too.

No, I didn't manage to have a child of my own. I haven't slept with Jihoon for a long time, but Heaven pitied me and sent me an angel. Although the war seems to have been over, it hasn't indeed. A few months ago when I went to pick Ojas (a very common medicinal fruit that grows in Arukas) on a nearby hill, I saw a very scary scene. The valley was covered with dead bodies – many in broken pieces. There were men, women, and children. All were in commoners' clothes, looking like a big family. I was so scared that I couldn't move until I saw a little girl in a light bubble floating slightly above the ground – I know this is not logical, but that was what I saw. She was badly wounded on the head and was unconscious, but she was still breathing. I don't know how I managed to move my feet but almost by instinct I stepped ahead and grabbed the child and ran back to our tent.

I made a booster potion with Ojas and it was proven to be very effective in lifesaving. The toddler survived and regained consciousness within a few hours. However, it seems that she has lost her ability to speak – very likely due to the shock and injury, but she responds to my voice, showing that she was not born deaf.

Days have passed and I started to beg Jihoon to adopt her. Since she cannot speak and tell me her name, I named her Sakura, the reverse of Arukas, to remind us we saved her during our stay in Arukas. And if used in a Tokkizan way, "Sa Kura" also matches Jihoon's original last name and it made him very happy. Isn't it serendipity?

***

Oh, I forgot to tell you, Sakura has two reproductive organs. I was actually quite shocked. And she pees in the front...you know what I mean? But her parents have dressed her up as a female and they must have their reason. Although I can never know why, I think I should also treat her as a girl. Arukasians have a term for these people: Nirvi, which means transcend beyond the boundaries. Very positive. Remember the priest who married us? S/he told me she was a Nirvi, and Narvi has a high position in the Arukasian society. Whatsoever, I believe a Nirvi child should need more protection.

***

My dear Yena, my heart is still trembling when I write. I don't know where to start. We finally found it! The "book" that Jihoon has been looking for! I'm not sure, but Jihoon says it is!

The story is like it. When I bath Sakura and washed her clothes, I saw many small dots appear on the lining of her dress. At first, I thought that they were merely dirt, but the harder I scrub, the clearer they became – and they were words! I copied the words onto paper and let Jihoon read it (his Arukasian is much better than mine). After closely examining the text many times, Jihoon believed that it must be the content that he has been looking for. How can the almighty text be hidden in a little girl's dress? It is so unbelievable!

What's more spine-chilling is that when I went to that valley again to look for more clues, I found that all the dead bodies and their belongings were gone. The place has been cleaned up so thoroughly as if nothing has happened. I searched around and there is no sign of burial. I hope I am not involved in some conspiracy...

Yeri then continued to talk about how her life has been brightened up by having a child in the family. When Jihoon's dream came true and his life was full of energy again, it was probably the best time of her life. On the other hand, Yeri finally realized that the real issue of Sakura was that she has lost all her past memories, even the skills and habits she has learned were lost – she was like a baby again.

But I quickly decided that it might be a blessing in disguise – after the mysterious disappearance of the corpses, I believe that Sakura's family was slaughtered due to some kind of vendetta, and it will not be safe for her to live with her real identity. (But you don't really know about her identity either, Yena thinks) I have buried any clue that suggested Sakura being an Arukasian – originally, I intended to burn them, but somehow the clothes Sakura wore couldn't be destroyed with fire – obviously, Sakura didn't come from an ordinary family, they must be from the celestial class – so I am retraining Sakura to be a Tokkizan child. She is extremely clever and also very clingy.

When the letter came to an end, Yeri started to complain that Jihoon was spending all his time on the secret text. But Yeri couldn't care less as now she has Sakura.

However, Yeri's sweet life turned bitter in the sixth letter. Two years have passed. Sakura was still Yeri's sweetheart, growing up healthy and strong, but Jihoon has totally withdrawn and just hid in a nearby cave and practiced all day long. He seldom went home and didn't speak to anyone. Yeri's comments or suggestions were not welcome, sometimes he would turn violent even when Yeri brought him food. Sakura was also the target of his anger because even a little laugh might trigger him. But the child knew best to stay away from him.

Yena feels her heart bleeding when she continues to read. In the seventh letter, it was clear that Jihoon had lost his mind. No one dared to go near him.

But Yena, I am the only one that should be blamed. Had I not told Jihoon about the words on the garment, had I not copied the verses for him to read – he would surely be disappointed, but he won't be turning into a monster gradually. He practices as if he is possessed, or is he being cursed to have stolen the celestial script that commoners should not have seen? Yena, I am very frightened. He may kill us one day. I must bring Sakura back to Jigumina as soon as possible...

Yeri repeated a few times that Jihoon might kill her and Sakura, but eventually, Jihoon died in the eighth letter.

Dear Yena,

Your brother died. My husband is dead. I don't know what to do. It's all my fault. But what's the point of regret? I will leave Arukas. It may take months for me to be back in Jigumina, Yena, can you help me?

Yena can't hold back her tears. Only if she had come back and visited her parents from time to time she would have gotten the news, then Yeri would not have to suffer furthermore and die at such a young age. She grabs the letters and presses them onto her chest and cries loudly until she conks out in her traveling clothes.

Yena wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache. It took her a minute to remember what had happened last night and where she is. She turns her body abruptly to look for the letters, only finds herself covered with a blanket. The letters were put back into the bag and lay safely on the side table. Her parents seem to have left for work already and they have left her with a full table of her childhood favorite food. Yena suddenly feels hungry so she gets out of bed.

While eating, she continues to read the letters. Again, Yeri sounds mentally unstable and desperate. She kept on asking Yena for help but didn't leave much useful information so that Yena can look for her (even if she had read the letters). Judging from the stamp chops, the best Yena can guess is that Yeri and Sakura have come back to Tokkiz a few months after Jihoon died. They continued to stay near the border for a while until Yeri sold herself and Sakura to her creditor.

Another two years passed when Yeri sent the twelfth letter. She reported that she was staying with some horse breeders in the Northeast Prairie as slaves. Her mental state seems to have improved a lot. But the story she recalled about Jihoon's death was horrifying.

...that day Jihoon suddenly ran home and announced in a deafening tone, "I've made it! I finally made it! No one will look down on me anymore!" He then grabbed Sakura in his arm and ran to his cave. He ran so fast that I could hardly follow. I was very worried that he's going to hurt Sakura. He led us to a place where there was a big rock. He yelled something that was incomprehensible and created a strong gust with his palms, my body instantly felt great pressure and I couldn't breathe. Then I heard something like a thunder strike, and the rock was broken into pieces. Jihoon stood in front of the pile of rocks looking like a giant, he looked up to the sky and laughed...and, blood started to gush out from his mouth, nose, ears, and eyes. I was terrified, and Jihoon suddenly turned furiously towards Sakura and yell, "you are trying to kill me!" Without a second thought, I shielded Sakura with my body when Jihoon's palm landed on my back. I lost consciousness immediately.

But I woke up. Yes, of course, if not, who is writing to you? And Yena, you won't believe it. Sakura was dripping the Ojas potion into my mouth, exactly like what I did to her when she was sick. It means that she went all the way home and took the potion to save me. She was only 5 years old! I was badly hurt and wasn't able to move, and the place has some distance from our tent, so what did I do? I gave verbal instruction to Sakura to perform life-saving tasks I learned in the mage training – you do not expect a small child to perform those tasks perfectly, but at least, inch by inch, Sakura moved me back home and I can live to tell you this story.

Not knowing how long will I live, I told Sakura that her family was killed and she was the only survivor. But when I told her I was not her real mama, she hugged me and said, "mama is the only one I have now." However, I have skipped the part about her clothes because it was complicated. I will tell her after her rite of passage, also about my observation of her "real" identity.

This is the longest letter Yeri has written in the last years of her life. Her health was deteriorating and she complained that she could not move around gradually. Yeri started to accept her fate that one day she will die in the Prairie and never be able to go home. Her only hope was Sakura. She hoped that the girl could regain her freedom and live her life to the fullest. Her humble wish, however, was shattered when the chieftain of the horse breeder family started to pursue her when his wife was gravely sick. As a mage, it was not hard for her to read the old man's mind, that his "real target" was not only her but also her daughter. Yeri was left with no choice but to flee. She knew that when one day the old man pulled down Sakura's pants, that would be the end of the girl's life.

Yena suddenly feels very anxious. She must talk to Sakura. She quickly gulps down the food and runs to her parent's restaurant.

"I will be back for dinner," she bids them goodbye while mounting Durk, and heads back to the Capital City immediately.

Author's Note:

Thank you for your patience. This is a long chapter. Long in the sense of time. 15 years of exile of Sakura's mama in 15 letters that connect the past and the future, as well as my writing time. I hope I have explained some important aspects of Sakura's past well but obviously, some mysteries still can't be solved. This is a long journey, thank you for walking with me, and please stay until the end.