My night was absolutely exhausting and I knew that if i did not get out of this funk I was in I was never going to move on in life. This time around it hit me harder than usual and I think it’s because I have not been around as much as normal. 

I feel almost disconnected from the other members because of the injury. It was difficult and still remains a mental problem that I am trying to get over. I still have nightmares and I can only assume that is the reason I am still having a problem getting over this. Normally I have a few days of me longing for Irene. But this time it just feels different. 

Like it's life of death. 

I felt Joy move under me and I closed my eyes quickly and snuggled deeper hoping it would cause her to stay a little longer. She really has helped me out in tough times like this. 

“Closing your eyes only works if I didn’t see them open to begin with” Joy giggled out as she squeezed me. 

“But I am comfy and so are you , so we should stay this way a little longer.” I reasoned out not opening my eyes again. 

“I have a schedule today” She giggled out again. 

“But I don't,” I argued with a slight pout on my face. 

“Ok, 30 minutes, but if I am late you owe me food” SHe said with a small sigh. 

“Deal!” I was actually rather happy spending time with Joy. I could definitely see how she can wipe away anyones sadness. She really is just so amazing.
We enjoyed the extra 30 minutes peacefully. I lulled in and out of sleep until I felt her move. I knew this was the end of a comfortable morning. 

“I am sorry. I know you enjoy this. I do too actually. But after schedules I will be back. I only have a photoshoot.” She stated as she slithered out from under me and up on her two feet next to the bed. 

I really did just want to sit and cry. This time around was so much harder. I almost feel like giving up at this point. But I knew it was just a phase. It has to be. 

I look at Joy as she walks back and forth in my room. Gathering her things. She walked to my closet and randomly reached for a shirt to slip on. She took her shirt off and slipped mine on. 

“That's mine,” I said as she winked and walked out of the bedroom. 

I was again met with silence. 

I knew I had to do something to avoid getting down in the dumps at such an early time today. I had to have a positive outlook on today or I would never get the day and be down in the dumps depressed piece of . We all wanted to avoid looking like a hot mess. 

I got up determined to make today a great day despite feeling like utter .

I rolled out of bed and dragged myself to the dresser pulling out some stay at home clothes that I was sure to leave the house in at some point anyway. I stopped to look in the mirror. 

I look terrible 

I put the clothes back in the drawers and went to my closet. I wanted to feel better so I mind as well start with looking better. I pulled out a pair of skinny blue jeans and a purple button up sheer top. 

Perfect

I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom. The second I opened the bathroom door I was met with the sight of a half Irene with wide eyes. She looked as if she was frozen in shock. 

“SORRY!” I screamed and shut the door before anything else could be said.

I could feel the heat on my face. Suddenly it was hard to think. I was fanning my face waiting for her to finish getting dressed. It felt like years but I waited patiently taking the time to calm myself down. 

God she is so beautiful.    

The door opens and Irene appears in front of me. 

“Sorry, forgot to lock the door” She said as she hid her face in her hands. I was shaking my head no like it was totally my fault because I really had no words I could say at this time. All I could do is imagine her silky smooth white angelic skin in front of me. 

“No no, It was totally my fault. I should have knocked before going in” I spoke as if I was in a rush hoping to just skip past this moment. I simply walked right on by and shut the door before any words could be further exchanged. 

*Knock knock* 

I didn't want to answer. I knew it was Irene. I couldn’t face her right now. I just couldn’t 

*knock knock* 

I gulped and opened the door. 

“Hi” 

I looked up and saw a smiling Joy. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked with shock evident on my face. 

“Well gee nice to see you too huh?” She smirked as she pushed me back and joined me in the bathroom shutting the door behind her. 

“No, I am totally happy to see you but don’t you have schedules?” I asked with a small pout on my face. 

“I did, but something came up and now I don’t. I walked in and Irene was just standing outside the bathroom looking at the door.  What did you do?” She asked with a small giggle. 

“Ugh, I walked in on her .” I said, throwing my head back to exagge