I entered the dorm first and saw an expectant pair of eyes on me. 

“ We are ok” I said softly with a small smile. 

I was not sure what had triggered this argument between Seungwan and I. We have been fine with no issues as of late. And yet like a light switch things just flipped. I can understand her being upset because I asked her to leave but it really was for her own benefit. 

I glanced at Seungwan as she slipped off her sneakers and put her slippers on. She walked past me without looking at me. I was not going to let this end here. There was obviously something more she had to say. 

I discreetly followed her to her bedroom. I didn’t even knock, I just walked right in. 

“Hey you need to knock!” She said as she flipped around to look at me. 

“No you listen to me. Leader role aside. Tell me what is going on right now.” I demanded trying to sound stern but not too harsh.

“Well since the leader role is set aside. No. Get out. Now.” Was all Wendy said as she started to pull a change of clothes out of her dresser. 

I was not going to let her speak like that after we had fixed everything in the van. This was coming out of nowhere. I walked forward and grabbed her arm to turn her towards me. 

“Get your hands off of me Joohyun!” she growled lowly as she twisted away from me. 

“No not until you tell me what has gotten into you all of a sudden. Why are you being like this? Ok I said I was sorry I told you what to do!” I finally screamed. 

*knock knock* 

“Go away! We are fine!” I screamed at whoever was on the other side of the door. 

I looked back at Wendy and saw how she was glaring at me. 

“If you don’t leave my room right now I will get a hotel and stay there until I am allowed to promote again” She threatened venomously. 

“No. We need to talk about this now. I told you I am sorry. I told you I see it from your point of view. Why are you so angry?” I asked this time a little calmer hoping it would get her to open up to me. 

“I am not angry. I am tired. I am tired of everything. I am tired of this. I am tired of you” She spoke but her words got softer and softer as the sentence ended. Almost into a whisper. 

I walked slowly up to her and grabbed her hand. I walked us to her bed and we both sat down. 

“Please let me know what is going on?” I asked. Trying desperately to make eye contact so I can see what she is feeling. She barely glanced up. 

Pain 

I could see pain in her eyes. Not physical pain. Emotional. I waited patiently for her to talk. But she said nothing. She straightened her back and finally looked me straight in the eyes. I could see the pain. I could see it was so prevalent that I felt it myself. 

“I can’t put my burden on you. I am sorry for being difficult. Things are just really hard right now.” She spoke honestly. Not blinking a single time. 

“I am here for that though. I am here for you to say what you need to and clear the air. I want to help. You are family” I spoke confidently. 

“I...I don’t know what to say to that” She said as she turned her head away. 

“Did someone hurt you?” I asked cautiously. She spoke no words. Just nodded her head. I took a deep breath in. 

“Please tell me who hurt you? I won’t ask anymore questions if you tell me. I will leave it like it is to work out. I promise” I spoke words of truth to her. I figure if she just says who hurt her she can begin the healing process. 

“I can’t. If I tell you, then it's all over.” She said softly. But I knew she was not going to change her mind. I knew she was going to sit and let it smolder until she became so unhappy. Then she will hide her unhappiness and try to make everyone else happy. 

She must have sensed how unhappy I was with this answer. Because she turned around and squeezed my hand. 

“Don’t worry unnie. I promise everything will be ok. I just have to work on myself. I am sorry for my outburst. Thank you for talking” She spoke with a huge smile on her face. A fake smile. But all I could do is give a small smile back and nod. 

“Ok, just know I am here for you.” I said softly. I could see behind the smile the tears she fought back. I don’t know who hurt her but I would be by her side to help her. She simply nodded and stood up. 

“Thank you. But um I should shower and get ready for bed. I am tired. You go and enjoy dinner. I am not really hungry.” She gathered her towel and cloth