I dont remember when it happened or how it started. I just know that it is the way it is because of her. Irene. I can remember during happiness we were worried because of how rushed we were. Forced to debut early with one member down to try and cover up all the from SM. I hated SM at that time. But one thing was for certain. Irene was there to help. She talked to all of us as equals and made sure we were ok. She took the hate and the comments and shielded us from them. She shielded me from them. Maybe it was then or maybe it was not. I just know that it is her. 

I sit looking across the dance practice room as her and seulgi rehearse for their upcoming unit live performance. I can’t help but feel jealous. When I saw the music video I was irrational and upset at the fact that Irene was in the arms of Seulgi. I think back and curse at SBS for taking away my promotions with Irene. Had they been careful I would have had more time with Irene. The unit would have debuted later and I would still be in the picture. I am just sitting on the sidelines forgotten now. At least Revelu has not forgotten about me. 

I must have gotten lost in thought because the music had stopped and Irene was now looking at me in the reflection of the mirror. I tore my gaze away afraid she might have been able to read my mind. 

“Seungwon” 

I looked up and met her eyes but couldn’t find the words to say anything. 

“You should head back to the dorm. I don’t want you to over do it.” Irene spoke with concern. I tried hard to bite back the bitter laugh that threatened to leave. 

In my mind Irene wanted me to leave Seulgi and her alone. 

“Oh. I was just hoping to stay out for a little longer” I said with a small smile in hopes of her letting it go. 

“Come on uniie, she can stay until we are done” Seulgi said as she stood in front of the air conditioner. 

I could see Irene scrunch up her face in disagreement for a second before responding. 

“Fine, then we can wrap it up for tonight and we can all go back to the dorm together” She said as she walked away towards her bag. 

I wanted to argue. I wanted to object. I might have not wanted to leave her and seulgi alone but I really was not ready to go back to the dorm. I have not had much freedom since the accident. I want to go drink and eat and have fun as well. How can I argue with her though? I cannot. 

“Well, maybe you two can go back then. I think I will stop and get food and a drink” I said assertively as I stood up and stretched.  Hoping I sounded confident enough for her not to question.

“No”

I turned around and Irene was looking at me with a hand on her hip.

“Um yes?” I half questioned

“You can come back to the dorm with us and we can order delivery. My treat” Irene spoke again. This time without much room for argument. 

“But unnie, maybe we can all go out from food and drinks” Seulgi tried to interject and defuse the tension. 

It didn’t help and I wanted to bite back.

“No Seul, it’s fine. We should understand that the older we get we want to head inside sooner” I said with a straight face and walked right out of the practice room. I could hear Seulgi laughing loudly as Irene gasped. I can picture the look on her face but all of a sudden the courage I had to stand up to her left. 

I rushed down to the garage and jumped into the van. The manager in the front waiting. 

“Manager unnie. Hurry take me home. They can get a ride from someone else!” I hurriedly spoke, shutting the van door. 

“What? Wendy we have to wait for the other two” She said giggling like it was a joke. 

“No you don’t understand unnie. It is life or death.” I said loudly. She laughed even louder. As if right on que the van door swung open. 

** 

“Son Seungwan you better take that back right now!” Irene spoke as she stomped her foot. I rolled my eyes and refused to talk. I simply turned my head the other direction and looked out the window. 

I had to look away. First off all she was really irritated and I am still younger so I have to be respectful. But secondly she is so cute I might actually apologize and beg at t