Dusk comes sooner than expected, the last of the sun's rays cosseted behind the soft grey cloud. The street takes on the look of an old photograph, every familiar thing a shade of grey. Slowly the view fades to blackness and the night begins. Xiaotang just finished rearranging her stuff in her room. She has never felt so diligent in her life. She felt like she had unlocked an achievement during the day. It was her day off, and instead of shopping or spending time with her friends. She decided to clean her room and declutter some stuff that doesn't spark joy. She just finished watching Tidying Up With Marie Kondo on Netflix last night. Marie Kondo's ideology of decluttering inspired her to clean her room. She thought the antique vases and figurines at home don't spark her joy. Her mom loves those vases and figurines though. She knew how much they cost. She also wanted to get rid of them, but if she did, her mom will prolly kick her out of their home. When she was rummaging in her cabinet, she found a purple box. She opened it and discovered some letters inside that she almost forgot she has them. There were some Christmas cards, Valentine's cards, and some love letters she received when she was still in high school. She opened the letters that were from Song Xinran. She laughed when she opened the first letter, remembering when she was in her third year of junior high school.

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January 11

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Hello Tang shijie, I just wanted to tell you how much I admire you. I saw you play basketball the other day and I idolized you so much. You’re so cool! 

Xiaotang was surprised to receive a letter from an anonymous. She only receives letters when there is a celebration like birthdays or new year’s cards.

“Xiaotang, who's that from?” Sunrui asked while she put her shoes in the shoe locker.

“I don’t know. Someone just slipped it in the locker.” 

“You must be happy.” Sunrui elbowed her.

“Why would I be?”

“Well duh? Someone finally admired you.”

“Am I not that good-looking enough?”

“Depends who’s asking.”

“If you just knew what’s in my mind right now.”

“What is it?” Sunrui looked straight into Xiaotang’s eye and she knew what it was. She immediately ran away from Xiaotang’s fury. They ran inside the school corridor which made the teacher mad. They received a handful of lectures because of that. 

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January 16

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang shijie, I saw you at the library the other day during cleaning time. I thought you were so cool holding the mop. I wanted to say hi but I'm a shy person. I hope I can talk to you if I have the guts.

During their club activity, Xiaotang showed the letter to Sunrui. “Look. Why would this person be this coward? I don’t like this.”

“Aiyamaya, you’re just saying that but deep inside your heart is fluttering.” She playfully poked Xiaotang.

“Oh shut up!” Xiaotang wasn’t sure how to react to it. She wasn’t really mad or anything. To be honest she felt nice that someone has written a letter for her. Even though she really thinks that person is a coward; she still appreciates it.

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January 18

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang shijie, I wonder what's your other hobby besides playing basketball? I think you're really cool when you play it. I hope to get closer to you.

Xiaotang let Sunrui read the letter for an opinion.

“This letter makes me proud. She’s the only one who keeps writing without expecting a reply from you!” Sunrui was so pumped up and patted Xiaotang on the back like a proud mother.

“How can I reply when she didn’t even write her name?”

“Aiyamaya, I’m so lucky to have a friend who’s popular not only in boys but girls too!” Sunrui poked Xiaotang, teasing her.

It's a fact that Xiaotang is quite popular at school. Xiaotang might be oblivious of the fact that she's attractive to both genders. Boys and girls find her charming and cool, yet intimidating at times. Not to mention she came from a well-off family. And her vibes give off a resting face which she can't control at times. Sunrui always reminds her to smile more. Which makes Xiaotang get irritated, telling her that she shouldn't force herself to smile when there isn't a reason to smile. She doesn't care what everyone thinks of her as she can't possibly please everyone. The only opinion that matters to her are the opinions of her family and her best friend. And when Xiaotang says that, she'll just receive "aiyamaya, why so serious?" reply from Sunrui.

"I wonder who's this person though? She's got a cute penmanship."

"How did you know it's a girl?"

"Xiaotang, she just called you shijie."

"I know but what if it's a boy pretending to be a girl?"

"Even without the 'shijie' I can tell by her penmanship that it's a girl."

"Boys can have nice penmanship, y'know?"

"Ha! I've never seen a boy in my entire life who has a good penmanship, not even my exes!"

"Ex-boyfriends? Did you even like them?"

Sunrui playfully made a smacking gesture on Xiaotang. "Aiyamaya, when did this talk begin to reverse?" Sunrui laughed, crossing her arms. "Zhao Xiaotang, this isn't about me. This is about you and your mystery sender."

Xiaotang doesn't want to pry more even though Sunrui is her best friend. She doesn't want to push that conversation. She can feel that Sunrui might be in denial, but who is she to force her best friend? They were still young and there are things that they have to explore for themselves.

"Shush! It's almost cleaning time." Xiaotang stood up and pulled Sunrui's hand to stand up.

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January 21

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang Xijie, I like you more as time goes by. You are so charming and cool. People think you are unapproachable but I disagree. They just don't have the courage to do so. 

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January 22

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang Xijie, do you know? Rabbits communicate using a secret code. Well, it’s not actually a secret code, but you could be forgiven for thinking it is because their body movements are so subtle. Bunnies clench their facial muscles and change their body position when they are feeling worried; signs you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking out for them. This is one of the main reasons why they’re so often misunderstood, particularly by children. Also, do you know that after digesting a meal, rabbits will sometimes eat their own poop and process it a second time. It may seem gross, but droppings are actually an essential part of a rabbit's diet. And they eat their babies because they are dumb mothers with bad parental instincts. But still, I love them because they look cute.

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January 23

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang Xijie, I just now realized that Tang means candy. So cute! I know behind that intimidating vibes I think you're a sweet person too! I can’t wait to see you at school. 

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January 24

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang Xijie, the cultural festival is coming soon. I'm kind of sad because it just reminds me that the school year is going to end soon and all the third year students will be graduating by then. I won't be able to see you anymore and it means I won’t have a chance to tell you how much I like you. 🐰

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January 25

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang Xijie, I saw you perform a cultural dance. I want to say how much I admire your talent. You're so amazing. I was so moved when you did the spin and back flips. You're so cool! Cooler than a guy! I want to be a person who is special to you.

I love you. Please go out with me! 🐰

"I want to be a person who is special to you. I. Love. You." Sunrui read the last part word per word like how you bite a crispy chicken skin. “Please go out with me.” She couldn't hold her laughter when she read the last part. "Aiyamaya! How could she ever say this without a single reply from you?!"

"That's why she's getting on my nerves. The last time she wrote me some facts about rabbits! It was cute at first but I lost it when she told me about how rabbits eat their poops and babies!" Xiaotang's eyebrows furrowed, she was just dumbfounded by what she just read for the past few days.

"Give it time. You might like her."

"She asked me to go out with her. I don't even know her!"

"She'll reveal herself soon."

Xiaotang scoffed. Sunrui knew that her best friend was impatient, but there was nothing they could do. They don't also want to do those sleuthing stuff like investigating who the mystery sender is. She thought It's a waste of time and energy. If the time comes, the mystery sender will have to come forward to Xiaotang and reveal herself courageously if she really likes her.

"We'll see..." Xiaotang replied.

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January 28

To: Xiaotang Xijie

I have been waiting for your reply since I have written to you. I was hoping that you will ask me first. But as an innocent loving girl who’s into you, I made the first move. But sadly you didn't reply even once. I am truly broken-hearted. It's clear that you don't like me like how I like you.

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February 6

To: Zhao Xiaotang

Tang Xijie, it's been a week now. Sorry for the inconvenience. I know it means nothing to you but I just want to let you know that I have moved on from you and I have a boyfriend now. I wish you the best in life.

Goodbye,

Ruan Ruan 🐰

When Xiaotang read the letter her mind was blown. She couldn't understand what just happened. She thought this girl liked her and all of the sudden she just wrote Xiaotang a letter that she has a boyfriend in just a week. How could this girl be disappointed at her when in the first place she didn't even write her name on the letter. And the last letter was not clear. She didn't even know what year and section Ruan Ruan belonged to. Sunrui also had a hard time processing the contents of the letters. Xiaotang had vouched that she doesn't want to do the sleuthing but she needed the closure because she couldn't just understand everything. She needed an explanation. She didn't care if it was dumb and pathetic. She just needs to know what’s on the girl’s mind when she has written the letter. Sunrui was diligent in finding a clue who this “Ruan Ruan” person is. She told Xiaotang to review all the letters to find some clues of this “Ruan Ruan”. During their vacant time they were gathering information by asking some students. Until someone pointed out that there's this cute and pretty first year student who likes rabbits and some of her close friends calls her Ruan Ruan. Her name is Song Xinran. They felt relieved when they finally got the information.

After school, it was their club activity. Sunrui and Xiaotang went to the first year's lounge and called for Song Xinran. Song Xinran looks calm in demeanor. They talked to a place that nobody could interrupt them.

"Sunrui Xijie..." She looked at Sunrui.

"Oh wow, she knows me." Sunrui elbowed Xiaotang, feeling proud.

"Tang Xijie..." Xinran's gaze moved on Xiaotang. She looked at her with a pain in her heart, but she tried to suppress it.

Xiaotang was observing the girl who was really cute and pretty. To be honest, she was her type. But what went wrong? She just couldn't understand her.

"Xinran..."

"You can call me Ruan Ruan." Her tone was firm.

Xiaotang looked at Sunrui in confusion. She wasn't sure of this girl. She sounded so different from her letters and in person. In the letter she sounded like flowers, sunshines and bunnies. It contradicts what Xinran is showing to them.

"Ok, Ruan Ruan… I just couldn't understand the letter..." Xiaotang was hushed by Xinran's finger. Sunrui was just looking confused and surprised.

"I know. You came here to tell me you like me back."

"HUHH?!" Both Sunrui and Xiaotang were totally speechless. Sunrui's smile faded away. "Hushush-shush! I'm not finished yet. Let me talk first." Xinran crossed her arms. She took a deep breath before she could start to explain. "Tang Xijie, I have liked you since the opening ceremony of the school year. I really admired you so much. So, last January I finally had the guts to write to you. But sadly I didn't receive any reply and it broke my heart. So, now that I have moved on and have a boyfriend. You came in to get me back, right? Isn't this like a Kdrama? But I'm sorry. I cannot break up with my current boyfriend. I loved you, but I love him now. It’s too late."

Xiaotang and Sunrui's face couldn't be drawn properly. They were having a hard time processing this ridiculous misunderstanding. Maybe the random rabbit facts tell a lot about Song Xinran, and they didn't just want to bat an eye about it.

"Aiyamaya..." Sunrui rolled her eyes twenty times and her pupils almost couldn't go back to its normal state.

"Song Xinran...listen." Xiaotang was in her serious tone. "Do you know why I didn't reply?" She asked her with a serious pissed face.

Xinran shook her head.

"You didn't put your name!" Xiaotang showed one letter to her. "How am I supposed to know that it was you?"

"Oops!" Xinran bit her fingernails. “Sorry.” She knew she screwed her chance on Zhao Xiaotang.

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Xiaotang laughed after reading the letters and remembering what happened back then. She couldn’t believe how klutz of a person Song Xinran was. She thought why are the cutest girls the clumsiest, or was it only Song Xinran? She thought if only Xinran wrote her name then, would their relationship work out?

Who knows?

They were young and dumb back then. She put the letters back to the box and tidied her room.

One thing is for sure, she would have liked her back if Xinran had written her name. After all, she was her type back then.