(Sunghoon-centric)

“I’ve been planning to. For a few years now.” Sunghoon heard Jiwon say, and he can’t help but smile. He opened his eyes and saw Suwon looking at him at the rear view mirror. He mouthed “Thank you” and closed his eyes again. His head aches so much from the alcohol, but his heart is soaring like crazy.

*** 2 weeks ago ***

Buzz..Buzz.. Sunghoon was listening to music on the backseat of the car when his phone vibrated. He checked his phone and saw that Suwon sent him a message.

Suwon: Are you at home?

Sunghoon: I’m on my way. Why?

Suwon: Jira and I fought.

Sunghoon: I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

“Hyung, please drop me straight home.” Sunghoon said to his manager.

His manager was surprised. “But you said you’re craving for tonkatsu.”

“Suwon needs a friend. He’s coming over.”

“You could still eat first though?”, the manager said while looking at him through the rear view mirror.

“No, he’ll be coming from his girlfriend’s house. It’s just 10 minutes away from mine.”

His manager shrugged. “Okay then, if you say so.”

When he arrived, Suwon was already waiting at the lobby carrying takeout food and alcohol. He swung his arm on Suwon’s shoulder and led him to his apartment. When they entered the place, Suwon noticed the boxes and furniture scattered in the hallway.

“Sunghoon-ah, are you still not done rearranging? I noticed boxes and new furniture last week too when I dragged Jiwon hyung’s drunk here."

“Well, you know I’m busy with my comeback. And I often go to my mom’s when I’m free for days at a time.”

“Then why did you plan on rearranging in the first place? And why now? You’ve been living here for about 5 years now.”

“Uhm, nothing. I-- I just wanted to have some change. I’ll get us plates and glasses for what you brought. Let’s eat in the living room.” He looked uncomfortable and it didn’t go unnoticed by Suwon. Suwon narrowed his eyes as Sunghoon walked away, but proceeded to go to the living room as told. Sunghoon came back after a while and they set up their food and drinks. They ate while talking about different things, catching up despite seeing each other just a week ago.

“So, what happened?” Sunghoon asked Suwon when they were finally done eating, just finishing up their beers now.

“It’s actually shallow in my opinion. She asked me when I can introduce her to you guys.”

“But I met her already though? Jaeduck hyung too. Jaijin hyung also when you went to Jeju a few months ago, right?”

“Yes, but she means the whole group. We’ve fought about this before as well.”

“Then schedule a get-together then.”

“You know that’s not easy!” Suwon whined.

“Loving you is not easy too, Suwonnie.” Sunghoon chuckled. “And the group would like to meet her too, you know that. Besides, we haven’t had a complete get-together since last year. It’s a good chance to hang out.”

“Jaijin hyung would kill me if I ask him to go here without another schedule. That’s why I was planning to do it in August when the meetings and recordings start for the concert.”

“But that’s 3 months away! You already fought about it. You should do something quickly.”

“Look at you nagging me to do something quickly.”

“What? Why?”

“Hello, you and Jiwon hyung?”

Sunghoon sighed. “What? Jiwon hyung and I what?”

“My friend, when will you do something about it? We’re already in our mid-40s this year. It’s freaking 2025!”

“I am not the topic of this conversation. You are.” Sunghoon stood up to get some tissues and to escape Suwon. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He knows his feelings but he’s not sure what Jiwon feels, or rather if his hyung knows it himself. Being eternal brothers is enough for him, especially these past few years that they’ve been spending a lot more time together compared to after the disbandment.

He went back to the living room saying, “I think Jaijin hyung won’t mind if you pay for his plane fare.” Both of them laughed at that. “Seriously though. She knows how important Jekki is for you. That’s maybe why she’s asking for this so strongly.”

Suwon sighed. “I know….I will message later in our group chat to ask for a good schedule from everyone. I bet it’s gonna be hard. You’re busy now, Jiyong always is, and Jiwon hyung has variety and his Youtube channel.”

“You should still try. It’s not a difficult thing to do. I want to smack you for not doing this sooner if you already fought about it before.”

Suwon laughed. “Jaeduck hyung said the same thing to me earlier on the phone.”

“Then listen to your hyungs! I’m still your hyung too, Jang Suwon.”

“Is that why you don’t listen to me? Because I’m just a dongsaeng?”

Sunghoon sighed. This again. “Stop it, Suwon-ah. Please.”

“Can you be honest with me just once?” Suwon looked at Sunghoon seriously.

Sunghoon did not answer but did not protest as well. Suwon took that as an encouragement.

“Do you not love Jiwon hyung?”

“You know I do.”

“Love as in more than brotherly love.”

Sunghoon looked down and fixed the plates absentmindedly. After a few seconds, he said again, “You know I do.”

“Then why are you not doing anything about it?”