Everyone knew who IU was, or rather they thought that they knew her. When the name of IU was mentioned in a conversation, the first thing that popped up in people's minds was probably something like nation's little sister, South Korea's beloved soloist, a great actress, a talented songwriter, or something else along those lines.

They probably also talked about how she was a great entertainer, that she was lucky to have gotten her big breakthrough at such a young age, and that she was extremely talented. People knew her as the extremely popular singer-songwriter, there was hardly anyone who hadn’t heard of her in South Korea. Of course, IU was all of that; she was the bright, cheerful, and innocent singer after all.

But that’s the thing, people only knew her as IU, not as Lee Jieun. They rarely saw the girl behind IU, the girl who loved singing and music more than anything else in the world, the girl who lost her innocence in the harshness of the music industry, the girl who struggled with her inner demons every day.

They never knew that behind the sparkling stage, behind the smiles and spotlight, behind the cheers of fans, behind her happiness and all the fame, was a shadow of a person. It was impossible for her to keep smiling behind the curtain.

IU was always happy; she was always smiling regardless of the situation. But Lee Jieun was tired, Lee Jieun had gradually grown weary of everything. Yes, Lee Jieun still loved singing. She enjoyed how her voice enamoured and healed people, how it cheered them up and even inspired them. But IU wasn't just known for her singing, she was beyond the image of just being a singer, she was the embodiment of perfection, a complete package of sorts.

IU was the polite laughter that was required of her during variety shows. IU was cute and bright; she was the nation's little sister. Sure, there were days when Lee Jieun loved IU. It had always been her dream to become a singer, after all. But there were times when Lee Jieun broke under the limelight of IU, Jieun was gradually forgetting herself to keep up the image of IU, and she was sick of it. 

She hated what IU had become. Just a singer, actress and celebrity that everyone wanted her to be. She was tired of how she started to see herself from other people’s perspective, she had become what people had made her to be and not what she used to be.

The sleepless nights were filled with practice, producing, shooting dramas, and an overly packed schedule. Everything that had been normal for her, things that had kept her going and distracted her, soon started to suffocate her and she only noticed it when everything started to feel heavy not on the outside but inside. Finally, it all took a toll on her, not on IU, but on Lee Jieun.

--

In a small restaurant in a rather shabby part of Seoul, Lee Jieun sat in a corner, drowning herself in her sorrows.

She was not a fan of alcohol, basically she doesn't like to do anything that can be bad for her vocal, drinking alcohol for example. She only drink on special occasions, like when she had something to celebrate with her co-workers and friends on a good day. 

But she felt like she really needed it that night. She had been grieving for her friend since the past few days. She had thought that after Jonghyun, she wouldn't have to deal with that kind of pain again in the future. How wrong had she been.

Not only her best friend Sulli who she had adored so much, but Hara also followed little more than a month later. The irony of how both of them had smiled, congratulating her for her new album but little did she know that they were in so much pain. She still couldn't believe that she had lost two of her friends within the time period of a month.

Some people were worried that she would be next. Well, they were right to worry. Losing her friends was her breaking point and right now, she was struggling to hold onto her sanity.

That's why she was here, trying to fill the void and the emptiness with alcohol, numbing not just her body but her brain so it would stop hurting, so that she wouldn't be in pain and she could forget–even if only for a night.

--

It was almost midnight when Yoongi decided that he finally needed a break from his studio. It isn't all that uncommon to find him in the studio writing and composing music all day. He's such a ha