A/n: Hey I am still alive. I had been doing a lot of things and writing has been on the back of the priority list but since NCT2020 is serving me a divorced era for my OTPs (yes including xiaodery) I’m gonna write angst

 

An important note though, the first two chapters were inspire by Shaun’s Way back home and would have been the main song of this fic but certain youtube playlists led me to 3 amazing and bittersweet songs so I will draw inspiration to the following songs as reference to the tone of this story: Every Heart by BoA, First Love by Utada Hikaru and Whenever you call by Arashi.

 

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Mrs. Xiao was scared when a sobbing Dejun appeared on her screen but her son assured her that they were happy tears. Mrs. Xiao became emotional and Dejun tried to apologize for making her feel that way.

 

“You don’t need to apologize sweetie.” She said and Dejun tried to smile despite the tears that fell from his expressive eyes. “Did you at least have fun?” She asked and Dejun nodded. “I am glad sweetheart, Hendery seemed nice.” She added and Dejun loooked down and bit his lip.

 

“He’s too nice mama, I don’t deserve him.” Dejun muttered and it broke his mother’s heart. “He deserves someone who isn’t dying every day.” He added and as much as Mrs. Xiao wanted to refute that, she knew Dejun was right.

 

“Don’t push him away Dejun, at least don’t intentionally hurt him.” She advised and Dejun nodded.

 

“I won’t see him anyway, after summer we will forget each other.” Dejun informed her and the sad smile Mrs. Xiao sported is a testament of the pain she felt for two souls destined to meet but never allowed to stay together.

 

“I miss you so much Dejun.” SHe mustered a reply and Dejun nodded.

 

“I miss you too.” Dejun replied.

 

----

Hendery looked at the screen and was contemplating if he should proceed to this, but Dejun’s tear stained face and grateful smile had solidified his decision to go through with his education in Korea and take a nursing course. Midway through answering  the application his mother had called in from Macao. He sighed before taking the call but he smiled when his mother had greeted him.

 

“Ten told me something.” His mother greeted him.

 

“I am sure he had said a lot of things,” Hendery rolled his eyes that made his mother laugh.

 

“Yes, he did.” She answered and smiled at her son. “Humor me Kunhang.” She urged her son who sighed.

 

“I met someone. A really great person.” Hendery started.

 

“Dejun?” Mrs. Wong asked and Hendery nodded.

 

“He’s an amazing person, brightest personality and a heart that is bigger than him.” Hendery said with a sad smile.

 

“He’s pretty handsome too.” She informed her son who nodded.

 

“Wait, what?” Hendery straightened and blinked at his mother who chuckled at how her son was acting.

 

“Ten sent your picture, you look rather good together Kunhang.” She remarked.

 

“thanks, he’s really all that and more.” Hendery sighed.

 

“But…?” His mother asked.

 

“But he’s sick and something we can’t control.” Hendery sighed. “Am I wrong to fall for someone I know I can’t have in the end?” Hendery asked and his mother sadly smiled.

 

“No Kunhang, you are not wrong to feel strong emotions and attraction.” She answered and it made Hendery smile. “Would you rather regret not trying?” She asked and Hendery shook his head. “That’s what I thought.” She smiled nad it made Hendery laugh.

 

“You’re really supporting this crazy idea ma?” He asked and he could see his mother nod.

 

“That’s not the weirdest idea honey, I am glad that you’re actually making decisions for your self and for your future. I could’ve asked you to take up accounting and you would say yes, but here you are trying to enter med school. I couldn’t be any prouder.” She remarked. “We are rooting for you honey, and maybe we could meet Dejun one day, would be nice to thank the boy who made our baby grow up.” She said and Hendery flushed at her words.

 

“Ma!” He whined and they ended up laughing. “Thank you.” HE smiled and they bid goodbyes.

Ten entered the room a few minutes after and offered his cousin a smile and a pat on the back. “You sure about this Dery?” He asked and Hendery nodded. “You really like Dejun huh?” He asked and Hendery nodded.

 

“It’s early to say that it is a deep attraction but I’ve never been sure about this ge.” Hendery turned to him. “When you told me about Nurse Xu, I sort of understand how it was for you to take a path that was far from what others saw you take. But looking at Dejun, just him smiling despite the circumstances, something in me wanted to be the one to keep that smile on him.” Hendery confessed and Ten smiled, a sad but comforting smile.

 

“I couldn’t fault you about feeling that way.” Ten assured him and they went through Hendery’s application.

 

----

Hendery knocked on the door and was surprised to see Dejun going through his things as an opened suitcase laid on his bed. Dejun greeted him with a smile and Hendery returned it warmly.

 

“You’re getting discharged?” Hendery asked and Dejun shook his head.

 

“At the end of the week, but I want to make sure that I don’t leave anything behind.” Dejun answered him.

 

“Oh, so your results are all good?” Hendery asked and Dejun sighed.

 

“As good as it can get with my case.” Dejun answered and that made Hendery frown. “Hey it’s okay, it’s not like I could be treated. It varies from person to person and for me, this is something I am accustomed with.” Dejun added and made Hendery sigh.

 

“Do you want to do something else then? Before you leave?” Hendery asked and Dejun laughed at him.

 

“Want to get an ice cream?” Dejun asked and Hendery grinned at him.

 

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Hendery asked and Dejun nodded.

 

“Sure, you asked me out on a date last time.” Dejun replied and it made Hendery laugh nervously. “just kidding, it’s really hot so I really want to have some ice cream.” Dejun added and it made Hendery smile at him.

 

“Yeah, let’s grab one right now, you up for it?” Hendery invited him and Dejun grabbed his oxygen concentrator and went out of his room with Hendery.  

They met Doyoung at the nurses station and was surprised, not really, to see Jaehyun with the nurse but with a wide smile from the technician, they couldn’t really question what the two have or not. Jaehyun winked at Dejun that earned him a shove from Doyoung and Ten, being on break, just full on laughed at the antics.

 

“I wanted ice cream.” Dejun informed Doyoung who coughed and then raised a brow.

“We’re just going to the cafeteria.” Hendery added.

 

“Oh, they stocked up on the new flavors today.” Johnny said as he went into the triage. “You better get them before they sold out.” Johnny remarked and that was the teens’ signal to make a dash for the cafeteria. “You’re welcome.” Johnny said as he placed his clipboard on the station while Jaehyun laughed.

 

“We’re getting there.” Jaehyun assured him and it earned another shove from Doyoung.

 

----

Hendery and Dejun found themselves in the cafeteria eating each a popsicle stick while sat across from each other. 3 tables down though, they saw Jeno and Renjun who waved at them and Dejun was happy to see his friend having a smile on his face as well.

 

“You’re really going back to Guangdong?” Hendery asked and Dejun nodded.

 

“I’ll be back by winter.” Dejun informed him.

 

“I won’t be here though.” Hendery’s face fell.

 

“Yeah, I will miss you, you’re the best companion I had so far.” Dejun praised him and it made Hendery smile. “So tell me what are you planning to take for college?” Dejun asked and Hendery just grinned at him.

 

“A surprise.” Hendery replied and it made Dejun pout before laughing loudly. The action prompted him to cough loudly but Dejun just raised a hand to stop him and Hendery understood.

 

“Sorry about that.” Dejun apologized but Hendery just shook his head. “Really not going to tell me?” Dejun asked and Hendery shook his head.

 

 

“I’ll try to ask my mom to allow me to spend my breaks here.” Hendery offered as a consolation and it did make Dejun smile a little bit wider.

 

“Want to exchange numbers?” Dejun asked and Hendery creased his forehead. “Or not.” Dejun added and it made Hendery laugh.

 

“I am stupid, I forgot that we haven’t exchanged numbers.” Hendery took out his phone and the handed it to Dejun. Dejun did the same thing and they both took selfies to save as the contact pictures. ‘I really look good.” Hendery said as he handed back the phone and Dejun burst out laughing.

 

“You saved your contact as Prince Eric?” Dejun asked and Hdenry nodded like an over enthusiastic puppy.

 

“You saved your contact as Princess Ariel!” Hendery accused the older. “We share the same braincell.” Hendery remarked and they both ended up laughing some more until Kun picked up Dejun because Doyoung was having an anxiety attack at how long it took Hendery and Dejun to eat ice cream at the cafeteria.

 

 

Later that night, Dejun was smiling like crazy when Hendery started sending those weird selfies and Doyoung has to block his wifi access to make the patient sleep a decent amount. “You like him.” Doyoung pointed the obvious and Dejun sighed as he nodded.

 

“He’s just so different Doyoung hyung.” Dejun said with a sad smile as he looked at the pale  moon that hanged outside his room. “But I know my limits, I may not live long enough to even meet him once more and I don’t want that for him.” Dejun said and Doyoung sat next to the teen and ran a hand across his hair to gently brush it off his face.

 

“Young and pure love I see.” He smiled and Dejun nodded. “Nothing wrong with that Dejun. If you both are happy and living the moment, then why not try and embrace that happiness?” Doyoung informed him. “You don’t need to put a label on it now that you are in something confusing but just allow yourselves to be happy okay?” Doyoung reminded Dejun who nodded ad smiled at him.

 

“You too hyung, why not live the moment?” Dejun asked back and Doyoung frowned at him.

 

“Dejun, what are you talking about?” Doyoung asked and Dejun sighed.

 

“Jaehyun hyung.” Dejun replied and that made Doyoung smile a bit.

 

“We’re in a complicated situation but I assure you, we are both living in the moment.” Doyoung assured him and that was enough for Dejun. “Let’s aways try to be happy okay?” Doyoung asked as he raised a pinky and Dejun linked their pinkies together and nodded.

 

---

 

Parting was never easy but Dejun still smiled as he hugged Hendery one last time and waved at him while Mr. Wong took his nephew home. Hendery felt like there was a hole left in his heart but he knew this separation was only temporary. As he sat next to Mark who was also near the end of his hospitalization, the older nudged him and pointed to the study sheets the nurses provided Hendery in preparation for his entrance exam. Hendery chose the same school his cousin attended and part of it was because it was affiliated and close in vicinity to the Neo hospital. That was his goal anyway, to be near Dejun as much as possible.

 

“It’s admirable you know, you’re really doing this for him.” Mark remarked.

 

“Really?” Hendery asked making Mark nod.

 

“Yeah, you’re really moving to a country and study something so you can be with Dejun. Bro, you’re like that dude in A Walk to Remember!” Mark exclaimed and Hendery gawked at him.

 

“What?” Hendery exclaimed.

 

“The movie bro! You know the one that he became a doctor and stuff.” Mark tried to exclaim.

 

“Are we the same age or what?” Hendery was perplexed.

 

“I have an older brother and that movie is a classic romance teen flick, better watch it.” Mark shook his head and Hendery noted that down, perhaps his life is now having a movie-ish plot twist.

 

Hendery spent the remaining days of his summer vacation inside the hospital with the rotational nurses pitching him to review him for the entrance exam. Hendery was grateful because he was really diving head first into this without even a slither of interest in medicine before he met Dejun.

Taeyong was easily distracted during their sessions but he blames Yuta for that because the therapist would be all smiley as he sat next to Taeyong and that made Hendery roll his eyes but really admire the two who he found out just got a dog together and named Ruby, because as cheesy as it sounds, they got it for Taeyong’s birthday and ruby is Taeyong’s birthstone.

Doyoung was strict but he was also understanding and supportive because really, having Hendery near Dejun for as long as they could is something he could help gift his favorite patient. Jaehyun pops in from time to time making Doyoung roll his eyes but the smile on the older nurse makes Hendery believe that it was not as complicated as Doyoung make it out to be.

Johnny, well he was a character because really that big cuddly teddy bear turns into a grizzly bear when it comes to his work. The dude was serious and it really scared Hendery but when he shared this information to Dejun, the older just laughed and told him that Johnny is the biggest fluff ball out there, surely that made him a little jealous but seeing that Johnny was pretty much taken given by the ring on his finger, he was at least assured that Johnny as no competition. “I’m not married yet.” Johnny wacked him one time he dared to ask. “I am planning on proposing though, maybe if I earned enough to give her a wedding she deserves.” Johnny informed Hendery who gaped at the information, Johnny just laughed him. “You thought I was dating a man?” Johnny asked laughing and Hendery nodded. “I get that sometimes. I am bi though and dated both but that’s a story to tell at the wedding. Now focus on these questionaires.” Johnny pointed tot he paper sheets and Hendery sighed but answered the practice sheets.

 

Kun and Ten?

Well those two were ruthless in making sure Hendery has his exam nailed to a T. They were such mother hens that Hendery broke down a few times with how strict they were. He did end up getting pizza for dinner much to the delight of Chenle and Yangyang so it was all good. Speaking of the cousins, the two had been really supportive and had asked for updates about Dejun and those conversations made Hendery smile like he was from a goofy movie, yangyang’s words, and made the cousins .

 

Dejun was still the brightest star that Hendery had met and with the past few days of them exchanging texts, mostly memes and selcas, they had established a familiar routine, and really it made the separation a little bearable. Though Hendery wanted to tell Dejun of his entrance exam, he wasn’t confident that he could pass so he’ll chalk it up to surprising him when he did pass and enter med school.

“I miss you Hendery.” Dejun confessed and that made Hendery’s heart melt.

 

“I miss you too Dejun.” Hendery replied with such softness in his voice.

 

“I wish summer could come faster.” Dejun sighed and that solidified Hendery’s decision to really pursue nursing as his tertiary education.

 

“I wish that too.” Hendery replied and the sad smiles that they both sported was enough to convey what they truly feel.

 

“Dejun! Time to eat baby.” they heard Mrs. Xiao called and Dejun showed his mother Hendery who waved at her and greeted her politely. “Kunhang, it’s nice to see you!” She remarked and Hendery blushed as he greeted her back.

 

“I gotta go bye!” Dejun hanged up leaving Hendery to sigh a little louder.

 

“see you soon hoepfully.” Hendery smiled and went out of his room to eat dinner with his cousin for the last time.

 

 

----

 

Summer in Korea was all hot sun and blinding light but winters? It was a heck cold like he was thrown into a Frozen movie. Granted that Macao wasn’t as cold as it was in Korea so he was not really prepared to become an icicle. Ten informed him that Dejun would check into the hospital the next week but Hendery knew even if they were both in Korea now, he won’t be able to meet him, all for the surprise that awaits Dejun in spring.

 

All the review and tutoring had paid off and now Hendery was scheduled for a final interview, which meant he was a step closer to having his dream being a reality. The interview went well and since he knew Korean courtesy of his cousin and extensive lessons after he returned to Macao, he secured a slot for the coming spring semester.

 

Of course it was not a story for Hendery to tell Dejun yet but surely when they meet again, he hoped that the older will take it happily.

 

Dejun was easy to talk to and although over the course of six months, Hendery noticed the decline in the color on the older’s face and how he coughed a lot more than usual. Dejun chalked it up as regular occurrence and Hendery need not to worry about it, but really who was Dejun trying to fool?

 

“You’re graduating High school, I am so proud of you!” Dejun exclaimed one time and Hendery full out laughed while blushing.

 

“It’s not great, I still want my time playing Mario Kart.” Hendery countered and it was Dejun’s turn to laugh. “You’re graduating too right?” Hendery asked and Dejun nodded. “How does it feel?” Hendery asked and Dejun cocked his head side by side cutely.

 

“Don’t know, I won’t be attending college so I don’t really know what to do.” Dejun confessed.

 

“Have you ever tried sharing your covers online?” Hendery asked and Dejun’s meticulous eye brows knitted in confusion. “Not that I exploit your condition but there are a lot of people sharing their stories or you could just share your covers.” Hendery suggested and Dejun thought for a while and then shrugged.

 

“I am not confident to do it!” Dejun replied and Hendery grinned at him.

 

“Would you be confident if I join you in your videos?” He asked and that made Dejun blush.

 

“Probably.” Dejun replied and that was settled, Hendery will go for it.

 

“See ou soon Dejun.: Hendery remarked and that placed a smile on Dejun’s face.

 

“see you soon Hendery.” Dejun greeted back.

 

 

 

 

A/n: This is shorter than the first two chapters because I really want this to be a transition chapter more than anything else. Also, this is lighter than the previous two because I will probably have heavier chapters lined up next

 

Hey there so you know in the vlive for resonance that Dejun said he was happy to have Doyoung (and Taeyong) in the team and during Sun & Moon with the 99z, Doyoung was there to watch their interview, it just reminded me of the coincidence that Dejun’s nurse here is Doyoung.

Dejun’s crush on Johnny is referenced on how cute and flustered he was when he was placed in the same unit with Johnny twice.

Call me a sap but a walk to remember was a movie that made me cry, my emotional younger self was really a sap for those kinds of stories you know.