The rhythmic steps of the horse makes the ride to the city a little more bearable. It’s so quiet, no one saying a single word and it’s unnerving. You try your best to focus on the smell of fern and the songs of birds instead of King Jongin who rides beside you. A handful of soldiers stay close behind you.

Just as he promised, you are both visiting the city to check up on their resources and dams. The tides have receded, so it should be fine, but judging the state they were in last time you visited, their resources may be growing thin already.

Jongin hasn’t spoken a word since departing, his eyes trained straight ahead. There’s a colder demeanor about him since your talk at the beach. He’s surely kept his distance, and you should be relieved.

You’re not.

The feeling is quite strange, it’s hard to pinpoint. It’s something you’ve always felt; a mixture of relief and disappointment because you know deep down you want someone to care for you. And yet this feeling is slightly different, mingled with more loneliness than before. A feeling that makes it hard to breathe and your chest tighten.

How strange.

You ignore it.

The city comes into view at last. You exhale the breath you were holding, deeply grateful that you don’t have to go through the river again, since you’re not in a hurry this time. You really don’t want Jongin to see you like that. It seems Jongdae hasn’t said a word to him either.

The townspeople greet you and your party immediately, bowing and curtsying in respect. “Thank you so much for visiting again, your Majesties.”

“Of course.” Jongin answers with a smile, jumping off his horse to return their greeting. “I apologize for leaving everything to my wife last time. I came personally to check on the progress.”

“Please don’t apologize, Your Majesty.” A man says. You recognize him from last time; it seems he has a leading quality to him. “We’re very grateful you came to visit our humble city. The dams have been built, but our resources…”

“We’ve brought more.” You jump in, gesturing towards the carts. “This should last you for a little while. We will continue providing resources to the best of our abilities until harvest season. Have you planted any crops?”

“Yes, we’ve already replanted our crops and preserved any that haven’t been destroyed.”

You nod at him, pleased with this response. “Good.”

You spend the rest of the afternoon surveying the city, happy to see that things have finally taken a better turn. The people are looking slightly healthier, smiles back on their faces. Some parts are still heavily damaged from the floods, but reconstruction work is coming along swiftly.

You’ve hardly seen Jongin all day, as if the both of you have been purposely avoiding each other. You don’t mind, it’s better this way.

“Thank you so much, Your Majesty.” A woman says, bouncing a baby in her arms. “It would have been terrible if we didn’t get help.”

“No need for thanks, this is my duty after all.” You answer, offering her a smile. You’re so glad the people here are nice. It feels like you can actually breathe here.

“Well, I think you’re doing great.” She says with a wide smile, her features warm and comforting. She makes you soften your sharp exterior, a mother you never had. The baby in her arms giggles at you. “It would be nice to see a little prince or princess soon.”

You blink, caught off-guard by her words. You haven’t thought about it before, but marrying the King does entail that you give him an heir. Anxiety washes over you, a terrible realization.

“Your Majesty?” The woman asks, worry etched on her face and you try your best to compose yourself, giving her a gentle smile.

“Sorry, I feel a little tired.”

“Oh, of course. You’ve worked hard for us. Please go rest.” She curtsies the best she can while carrying a baby, and you nod in return, hurrying away.

You return to your horse, taking a sip from the waterskin tied to your horse. You exhale slowly, your head spinning. You want to do your job as Queen properly, but birthing his child? You’re not sure you can do it.

“Your Majesty?” The familiar voice alerts you. Jongdae looks at you with a worried frown. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, just tired.” You answer, wiping the sweat from your forehead with the sleeve of your shirt. You’re glad you’re not wearing a dress at least, that would have been torture.

“You look pale, perhaps the heat is getting to you? Shall I inform King Jongin?”

“No!” You reply a little too quickly. Breathing out, you straightening yourself. “I don’t want to worry