KYUHYUN

I am still playing with my cuffs when Wookie pokes me while whispering, "Kyu! Look!"

He points to the big screen on the wall that shows moving clips that have been taken during the red carpet.

And I suddenly cannot breathe.

There on the center of the screen is Joohyun. Dressed in something that she never ever wear before.

Then I curse. To whoever made her to wear such outfit.

Even when she is breathtakingly beautiful, I can see her wandering eyes. It shows how much she’s not comfortable with the dress. Her hands cover her cleavage.

I curse myself for being such a ert. Because my eyes keep following her hands. And I am sure there were hundreds or thousands men (and perhaps some women) who do the same thinking at this exact moment. To my Joohyunnie.

There. That is what I want her to be. My Joohyunnie.

Some people brand me the evil maknae, but to be honest, I don't match the courage of a devil.

That's true, I initiated the gesture of our heads during New York performance, and as always she obeyed and followed my lead. But I never know what her real feeling towards that stunt. Let alone her real feeling to me.

Because I never ask. I never have the courage.  

That's why I am so pathetic. Right?

"Kyu, are you ok?" Donghae-hyung suddenly appears beside me.

I shake my head, "I am not sure, Hyung."

I see his gaze shifts to the wall and I think he gets it now, because he pats my back in a sympathetic gesture.

"It is never easy. Believe me, I know." He sig