SLAM!

The girls just looked at each other and shrugged, resuming their game.

“Whose turn is it?” Sunny asked casually as she dropped a couple of cards on top of the pile on the floor. Yuri mindlessly lifted a finger and pointed at the person across from her as she studied her own set of cards.

“Sooyoungie.”

Said girl blinked in confusion.

“No, it isn’t. I’m already out,” she stated, referring to the game.

“She meant whose turn it is to talk some sense into the midget,” Hyo said as she mindlessly organized her deck. Sooyoung dumbly blinked again, eyes widening when she finally understood what they were talking about.

“Oh. But isn’t it Fany’s turn, though?”

Yoona slowly slid down from the couch to sit next to Yuri, helping her fix her set.

“She’s obviously not here, and Fany-unnie already talked to her a few days ago and just ended up getting into an argument because Tae-unnie told her that she was becoming too biased.”

Sooyoung just scratched her head. “But won’t that make me even more biased?”

Hyoyeon threw a crumpled napkin at her in reply.

“If you talk to her now you can come back sooner, just in time for the food to arrive.” That got the tallest among them on her feet in a jiffy and quickly padded her way towards their leader’s room. “Don’t eat without me!”

The remaining girls that were left inside the living room audibly sighed as soon as Sooyoung rounded the corner to the bedrooms.

“I said it before and I’ll say it again. I simply can’t keep up with that shorty’s mood swings anymore! How Sica summoned enough patience to endure her “bipolar-ness” will forever remain the greatest mystery of all,” Hyo exclaimed as she took a swig from her can of beer.

“Yah, give all of us some credit for actually living with her weird way of thinking for all these years,” Sunny chided in jest.

“Well, we wouldn’t even be in this situation if she would just get off her high horse and fully accept their situation now. Why is it that whenever there’s trouble in TaengSic paradise, we seem to always be stuck in the middle?”

“’Cause, we’re meddlesome?” Yoona answered nonchalantly. That earned her a glare from all her unnies present. The youngest just smiled sheepishly and went back to fiddling with her phone.

“At least they’re finally acknowledging each other in public again. Taeyeon’s just being a brat because Jessica refused to immediately run back into her arms or something cliché like that.”

“I, for one, am so relieved that Jessica finally thought for herself instead of allowing everyone else to dictate what she needed to do. But don’t let Tae know I said that or else she’ll go all amazon on me again.” All of them sniggered.

Their leader had been very sensitive ever since she got home from Jessica’s apartment the day after their group date fiasco four months prior. Apparently, their beloved Ice Princess finally grew a backbone and didn’t easily submit to the older girl’s forceful advances despite her heartfelt declaration.

According to the younger girl, she wanted the both of them to have some time to really think about what they wanted out of their relationship instead of jumping back in, gaining the respect and approval of their sisters. Taeyeon reluctantly agreed but wasn’t coping all that well from the decision and was having major “Jung-drawals,” as the others teasingly dubbed her recent attitude.

“Ugh! I can’t believe she actually accused me of purposely faking being sick just to get Sica-unnie to take care of me. Which is so not true!” Yoona whined loudly.

“She got mad and told me off for always standing or sitting beside her on-cam the past months. It’s not my fault if Sica comes to me out of habit all these years!” Yuri added, throwing down her cards with a pout.

“Everything concerning her precious Sooyeon sets her off these days. She sulks when Jessica’s attention is not on her and gets mad at us because of it. She’s my best friend but her suddenly turning 180˚ is really getting irksome.”

“There’s nothing we can do but wait for Sooyoungie, I guess. Tae has a soft spot for her for some reason so hopefully, she can get through our leader’s thick head. She really needs to understand where Sica’s coming from and Soo knows how to get her point across, especially if it concerns our dearest Jessica. I really hope she’ll listen this time, for all our sakes.”

Flashback

“You do know that you’re cheating your way back into my heart, right?” Jessica stated more than asked. Taeyeon grinned and pulled the younger girl closer to her and kissed the top of her head.

“Did I even leave your heart to begin with?” Jessica gave Taeyeon’s hand that was holding hers a quick peck in reply before the two lapsed in a semi-comfortable silence, thoughts drifting through their minds.

It had been an emotional day for the two which left them physically and mentally exhausted, but the passionate outburst between them wasn’t exactly easy to just sleep through. Jessica insisted that Taeyeon head home since she had a noon schedule but the latter stubbornly refused, not willing to move an inch away from her Sooyeon.

It’s not that Jessica was afraid of her, it was just that the older woman’s presence was leaving her oddly bereft, unable to fully think clearly about their situation. Taeyeon had that effect on her still, making her lose herself once again.

Taeyeon always had full control over her emotions. And Jessica knew that it desperately needed to change.

“You’re really not playing fair, Taengoo.”

Taeyeon tightened her arms around Jessica once more, mouth in a thin line, knowing full well where the conversation was headed.

“I told you, whatever it takes, Princess,” the older woman said sternly. Jessica sighed and steeled her heart and mind, adjusting herself so she could look at Taeyeon properly, hoping to convey how adamant she was that the other understood their status.

“But Tae, I really don’t think this is the right thing for us right now. It’s been a while since then that I’m not even sure if we know each other anymore, to be honest.”

“You know me better than anyone, Sica.” Jessica smiled sadly, lifting a hand to cup Taeyeon’s cheek gently.

“Do you know who Jessica Jung is right now, Tae?” Taeyeon looked at Jessica in slight confusion.

“What do you mean? You’ll forever be you to me. My Jung Sooyeon.”

Jessica wanted to giggle at how adorable her Taengoo was, but knew that she needed to show how serious she was for Taeyeon to accept whatever she wanted to say.

“A lot can change in two years, Tae. I’m not sure if I still am the Jung Sooyeon that you knew. Who I was when we were together may not be who I am now. Our relationship had been so one-sided for so long that you can’t really fault me for being cautious about your current feelings. You’ve never been one to express them much, after all.”

Taeyeon held both of Jessica’s hands in hers and kissed them tenderly, their gazes still on each other.

“What can I do to prove that I’m serious about us, Sica? I’m willing to do anything for you to believe me again.”

“I don’t want to doubt your love for me, Taeyeon-ah. But you know that we’ve always been complicated, and getting back together is not as easy as you want it to be. Not anymore.”

Taeyeon suddenly engulfed the younger girl in another tight embrace, tears starting to stream from Jessica’s eyes as she hugged her back just as tight.

“I won’t let you go, Jessica. I thought I made myself perfectly clear about that.”

Jessica sniffed and burrowed her head on the older woman’s neck. She really wanted to just stay where she was, in the comfort of Taeyeon’s arms but knew that that wasn’t what they needed to fix things between them. She wished that it was that simple.

“You know that I’ve never really asked for much, Tae. Your love and attention were supposed to be all that I needed, but the time and distance that we spent apart made it clear that they will never truly be enough to salvage what we had. We need to learn how to give and take, to compromise, Taengoo.”

Jessica felt tears and moist lips caress her shoulder as she patted Taeyeon’s back in comfort.

“What do you want me to do, Baby? Anything as long as I’d still get to be with you in the end.”

“I also don’t want to lose you, Love. But all I want for now is time. Time for us to heal. Time for us to get to know each other again. Time for us to think about what we really expect from each other. I love you very much, but I believe that you don’t have it in you to fully accept the current me as you are now, and I need to learn to stop conforming myself to how I think you want me to be. When we’re ready, we’ll try again, Taeyeon-ah. I promise.”

Present

“Salutations, midget!”

Taeyeon didn’t even bother to look up and just continued twirling a small object between her fingers, knowing full well that one of the members would eventually try and talk to her like usual. It had been their norm for the past months whenever she would stupidly act out like a kid throwing a tantrum.

“Hey.”

Sooyoung frowned slightly, slowly sauntering inside the room and sat beside her dejected leader.

“So, you wanna talk about it?” the younger girl asked carefully, eyeing the familiar ring in Taeyeon’s hands. Taeyeon sighed loudly before placing the ring back inside her pocket.

“I think she’s scared of being with me, Soo.” The shikshin nodded, knowing full well what the other meant. Sadly, the months that Jessica had been resisting her did nothing but reveal the immature side of Taeyeon that anyone rarely saw, her jealous streak visible for everyone to see whenever her Sooyeon was with anyone but her.

She wasn’t hurting anybody per se, but the leader was getting on the rest of the girls’ nerves whenever they’d been accused of stealing Jessica’s attention away from her and then getting upset when they’d talk to her about it. It was annoying albeit cute but didn’t exactly do anything to assuage the Ice Princess of her doubts regarding their relationship.

“Can you really blame her if she is, Taeyeon-ah?” Sooyoung asked as she crossed her legs and observed her leader carefully. The older girl rubbed her tired face in frustration.

“She used to love holding me whenever and wherever we were, but now would leave my hand hanging even when I reach out and would just look at me like she was unsure. And even when there was space beside me, she would opt to sit or stand beside Fany or Yuri! I know she asked for time, but why does it feel like she’s pulling away?”

Sooyoung continued to gaze at the other woman before shaking her head in disappointment.

“You really don’t know why she’s like that, Kim Taeyeon?”

“If you’re about to talk in riddles like the others, then just leave me the hell alone, Soo.” That earned her a raised eyebrow and a click of the tongue from the taller girl.

“Yah. You really don’t have the right to give anyone an attitude right now, Miss Kim. You’ve been such a stick-in-the-mud lately that have you ever stopped to consider that your arrogance is what turns her away?”

Taeyeon blinked up at the younger woman in confusion but chose to stay silent. She knew Sooyoung was getting irritated. Heck, she had a habit of consciously pissing everyone off these days. It was better to just listen this time since Soo wasn’t really one to back away and stew when peeved.

“Personally, I still think you two are better off not getting back together.” That got Taeyeon wincing, but wasn’t really all that surprised anymore. “But I love you both and will respect whatever you decide on as long as it’s what you really want. You guys deserve to be happy.”

“Sica – she’s confused, Taeyeon-ah. She wants to get back what she’s lost when she was chasing after you. You remember her as someone who will eat out of the palm of your hand. You remember her as someone who will bend over backward just to make you happy. You remember her as someone whose world revolves around you.”

“You became too complacent and dependent on her without realizing it. But she grew tired of always changing for someone who doesn’t fully appreciate her. You understand what I’m saying so far?” Taeyeon nodded timidly before Sooyoung continued.

“You want to know why she’s reluctant to be near you?” The older woman nodded again.

“It’s actually been going on for a few years. Everyone knows that Jessica’s a very touchy person. The security she gets when someone she loves is within reach. Skinship is how she shows that she cares. You should know that better than anyone, Tae.”

“Then why does it seem like it pains her when I touch her or come near her these days?” Sooyoung gave her a sad smile.

“Because one day, she noticed that it suddenly made you uncomfortable. You would flinch when she so much as grazes you. You would move away when she comes near like she’s contagious or something. You kept on thwarting her attempts at skinship to the point that she started questioning herself. And instead of talking about it like a normal human being, you decided to be a and simply ignored her.”

“You had no idea how painful it was to see her doubt herself over a hug, Tae. She looked so lost and would run to anyone of us for reassurance. After that, she became overly cautious and avoided touching you because she thought that it was what you wanted, that it would make you feel comfortable. And it did, and she was relieved because at least you stopped looking at her like she was a nuisance.”

At that point, Taeyeon tried but failed, to hold back her tears, Sooyoung patting her back comfortingly.

“I… I d-didn’t even notice…”

“That’s how much she valued your happiness, Taeyeon-ah. She did that and more just for you. So you can’t exactly blame her if it became a bad habit. She still believes she’s doing you a favor.” Sooyoung gently wiped her leader’s tears away and cupped her face.

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg, Tae. That girl still believes that the sun rises and falls at the edge of your smile. If you’re really serious about her now, then talk to her again. Lay out your intentions. Start afresh. Because Jessica has lots of insecurities, most came from you. Forcing yourself on her won’t help anybody. If you really love her like you claim you do, it’s your mission to alleviate each and every one of her worries.”

Sooyoung patted Taeyeon’s head and stood up, not wanting to hear anything the older woman would want to say. She opened the door but looked back and addressed her one last time before leaving.

“Don’t you think she deserves at least that much from you?”

A/N:

wahehehehehe almost done!! not much of a chapter but epilogue coming soon! (i swear, it'll be soon, as in this year! ^_^v)

really appreciate all your comments and reviews! mwa mwa! <3