Taeyeon groaned. Everything wasn’t exactly going as previously planned.

The girls were set to accompany Jessica for a group date but not everyone could make it since they had schedules to attend to. Taeyeon wasn’t an exception much to her chagrin, even though she wasn’t really invited in the first place, but was on her way to the bar anyway because that was supposedly part of the plan. She was getting frustrated because she was running late and the girls were either calling or texting her to hurry up. Things were getting a bit out of hand since the stupid guy brought friends who were causing trouble for her girls.

The night started out well enough. Sunny, Hyo, Yuri, and Yoona were tasked to Jessica as she dealt with the guy. The owner was a long-time acquaintance, so Taeyeon managed to secure a private booth for them on short notice so they wouldn’t be bothered by any outsiders. The girls just didn’t expect the guy and his friends to have leeches for personalities.

“Hyo-unnie and Yuri-unnie are getting super pissed. These guys just wouldn’t take no for an answer!”

Yoona was being the good dongsaeng that she was and was updating her leader about how their night was faring. Jessica and Sunny were actually doing a pretty good job of keeping the other party at bay. But they could only do so much, and the night was turning from bad to worse when Jessica’s date kept on pestering her to let loose and to drink and dance with him, to which the latter kept on refusing, and the girls could see that it was starting to rile him up.

“Baby, come on. The night’s still young! Don’t tell me the beautiful and mysterious Jessica Jung is actually a prude,” he jeered. That got all the girls’ eyebrows rising. Hyoyeon was about to step up and hit him when Jessica raised a hand to stop her. The older girl chuckled and gracefully walked over and leaned towards the idiot, a devious smirk on her face.

“Oh, honey. I’d rather eat a cucumber than have you continue to enjoy my presence any longer. Pardon my French, but go yourself!!” Jessica yelled then turned around with a flourish, her long thick hair slapping the guy straight in the face, his friends howling in laughter behind him. The girls beamed with pride at how their sister handled herself.

The guy, obviously unamused in the slightest after being humiliated in front of his friends, suddenly lunged at Jessica, forcing her back around to face him and started feeling her up, from her backside to her side-s, as soon as he crushed her body to his. The girls were horrified, but before anyone could do anything, the guy found himself sprawled on the floor, two bouncers hovering above him.

“Taeyeon!”

“Unnie!”

Said girl observed the scene blankly but was absolutely seething inside. How many more times should she witness her Sooyeon be d and harmed in front of her?                     

“I commend you for your impeccable taste in women, but I honestly can’t say the same likewise. Although I would have expected the son of a head to a government faction to have more finesse when handling a woman of such high caliber.” The guy cringed, not expecting to have his identity found out. Taeyeon turned towards Jessica slightly.

“Your standards have lowered drastically, Jung Sooyeon,” the older girl sneered, enough for only the girls to hear. Jessica’s look of relief turned into a murderous glare for the insinuation. Taeyeon glared back but returned her attention to the guy that was currently being held up by the bouncers. She would deal with Jessica later.

“I think it’s best if you leave my girls alone. We wouldn’t want to cause a scene, and I’m sure the fans wouldn’t appreciate anyone harassing their idols, no matter how influential their parents are.” The idiot scoffed in displeasure but decided to stand down, what with everybody within close range giving him nasty glares. He knew not to mess with a group as powerful as SNSD, and thought that one girl wasn’t worth all the trouble. He leered at Jessica.

“You’re pathetic. Good luck finding anyone who’ll want a stuck up like you.” The girls gasped, and Jessica was trying hard not to cry and lash out at the same time for the sake of her remaining dignity.

Taeyeon’s eyes turned menacing as she slowly approached the idiot who was foolish enough to insult one of her own, and Jessica no less. She leaned in and whispered something to his ear, and everybody watched as color immediately drained from his face. Taeyeon stepped back and smirked evilly before signaling for the bouncers to him away.

“Tae?” Sunny cautiously approached her best friend after a few minutes, knowing full well that she was far from happy.

Taeyeon looked at her members one by one, internally relieved that they were all okay. Her gaze lingered on Jessica for several seconds more making the girl quiver, the sense of foreboding returning, twenty times more ominous than before.

“We’re going home,” the eldest commanded and started towards the exit. All the girls scrambled to follow their leader out of the club. No one wanted to infuriate Taeyeon further so they opted to just stay quiet, even Hyoyeon. The older girl rarely gets angry and really meant it, but when she did, it was best to steer clear until she fully calmed down.

The girls all rode in Sunny’s car going to the club, and when Jessica was about to open the door to the passenger seat, Taeyeon quickly took her hand and pulled her roughly away. The glare the younger girl received was enough to silence any protests.

“Text me when you’re home. Drive safely, Sunkyu.” Before anyone could answer, Taeyeon stomped towards her car, dragging a helpless Jessica with her.

It was an awkwardly tense ride back to Jessica’s apartment, and the younger girl was torn between castigating Taeyeon for her brusque actions or completely ignoring her and just mope the night away so as not to enrage her leader more than she already was. She could feel the older girl’s irritation and it was suffocating, so she smartly kept shut for the time being. A fight between them was inevitable, but Jessica was still hoping that Taeyeon would cut her some slack for the night.

Unfortunately, that hope was cut short.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jessica was bewildered when she watched Taeyeon wordlessly get out of the car after parking, leaving her to hurriedly follow behind her ex inside her own apartment, the older girl effortlessly unlocking the door and stomping inside like she owned the place.

“Yah!”

Jessica couldn’t fathom how Taeyeon could just barge into her home without her consent. She didn’t even expect to be seeing the midget at all since she was adamant about ignoring her after what happened between them the previous day, and was surprised (and secretly relieved) when she suddenly appeared at the club, and just in the nick of time, too.

Taeyeon was livid. She didn’t even stop to question why Jessica still had the same passcode (Taeyeon’s graduation date) as she marched straight to Jessica’s bedroom, the younger woman scampering to catch up to her. She abruptly stopped as soon as she was in the middle of the room and turned to face a clearly vexed off woman.

Jessica took deep calming breaths as she looked at Taeyeon in exasperation, hands on her hips.

“Look. I appreciate you saving my despite your obvious hostility to my choice of date, but I think it’s better if you just leave. I’m sure the girls are waiting for you and – “

“Shut up!” That clearly had its intended effect as Jessica stopped midsentence and was repeatedly blinking at Taeyeon, stunned.

“…W-what?”

Taeyeon closed the distance between them in just a couple of steps as both continued to stare intensely at each other.

“Just… shut up, Sica.” Jessica scoffed and threw her hands up in the air, annoyed.

“How dare you – “

Without warning, Taeyeon swooped down and captured the other girl’s lips in a forceful kiss. Too shocked to react, Jessica found herself roughly pushed down on the nearby lounger as the midget hovered above her. Before she could right herself up, Taeyeon slammed her hands down on the armrests, effectively preventing the younger girl from escaping.

“What the hell, Kim Taeyeon?!?” Jessica snarled. Taeyeon growled back.

“Do you really enjoy being manhandled that much, Jung Sooyeon? Was I too gentle for you?!” Jessica gaped like a fish out of water as she tried to make sense of where Taeyeon was going with this.

“What the hell are you talking about?!”Jessica bit back but quickly backpedaled as she really wasn’t in the mood to have a screaming match at two in the morning. She crossed her arms and heavily leaned back on the chair, trying to minimize any physical contact as much as possible with the irate woman in front of her.

“You know what? I really don’t want to argue with you tonight. Get out!”

All of a sudden, Taeyeon swiftly stood back up and headed towards the door. Jessica honestly didn’t think that her ex would listen to her and was startled when the door was slammed shut with a deafening bang, making her jump in shock.

“Yah!”

Taeyeon turned back around and looked at Jessica, the latter unable to predict what the older girl would do next. She stayed rooted on her seat as Taeyeon slowly walked back to her, every step with a silent purpose, and Jessica couldn’t help the anxiety building within her.

“You still love me.”

The younger girl trembled, her composure easily crumbling with just a single statement as the midget’s voice echoed in her ears. Jessica hastily stood up to put as much distance as she could from the other woman, but Taeyeon continued to walk towards her, undeterred.

“Get away from me!” Jessica yelled as she stumbled towards the other side of the room, breathing uneven and heart erratic. She never, in her lifetime, would have imagined that she’d ever say that to Taeyeon, but recent circumstances made her rethink that it might be better for her sanity if they just stayed apart.

“You still love me.”

Jessica was starting to panic. She never expected her night would turn out like this, being cornered like some kind of animal in her own home. She reached the end of her room where the bay windows were located and turned around, looking left and right for a chance to make a run for it. Dread filled her as she noticed that Taeyeon was only a couple of feet away from her, and she wished that the older girl could see the pleading look in her eyes and just walk away instead.

“Stop it - ”

“You still love me, Sooyeon.” Jessica backed up until she could feel the curtains behind her. She shut her eyes tight and covered her ears, refusing to acknowledge Taeyeon’s words.

“Please, just stop!”

Taeyeon paused when she was only an arm’s length away from her Sooyeon. Her heart constricted painfully as she saw how her forceful presence was affecting Jessica. But this was already the point of no return, and the older girl was determined to finally end both of their sufferings once and for all. She just needed for Jessica to yield and accept her again. Just one more step…

“You’re not denying it.”

Jessica could feel Taeyeon’s warmth from their close proximity, but she refused to open her eyes and instead shook her head frantically, trying her best to block out whatever her ex was saying.

“Please. Please don’t – “

“Stop trying to push me away.”

Taeyeon carefully reached out a hand and gently cupped the other’s cheek but Jessica snapped her head up and slapped the midget’s hand away and pressed herself further towards the window, her arms shielding herself as if that was enough to protect her heart from bursting out of her chest.

“Don’t touch me! You’re despicable! I hate you! I hate you so much!”

Taeyeon had enough and threw caution to the wind as she engulfed Jessica in a tight embrace, trapping the younger woman’s arms, the latter trying to break her hold but failing miserably.

“Stop doing this to me!”

Jessica kept on trying to loosen the other’s grip but Taeyeon held on tighter, vowing to herself that she’d never let the beautiful girl in her arms go again. After several minutes of trying in vain to escape the warm arms wrapped around her and begging for the older girl to leave, Jessica finally broke down, fat tears incessantly running down her eyes.  Her legs were barely keeping her upright but she refused to lean on the woman in front of her, wanting to keep some form of self-respect as much as she could.

“Why? Why can’t you just let me go?” Jessica’s voice was laced with desperation. Taeyeon embraced her tighter and tenderly placed feather-light kisses on the side of the younger woman’s head before answering.

“…I can’t. Even if I wanted to, I just can’t, Sica-ya.” Jessica’s tears continuously flowed like a warm stream as Taeyeon tried to comfort her as best she could. It hurts to see the younger woman crying and she wanted to thoroughly punish herself for all the times Jessica had cried because of her, knowing full well that she didn’t deserve any of them.

Eventually, her sobbing subsided and Taeyeon couldn’t help but smile as she listened to Jessica’s endearing sniffles. How she survived without the adorable woman in front of her would forever be a mystery.

“You still love me,” Taeyeon said again making Jessica look up at her, pain and confusion swirling in her eyes.

“I can’t just... We can’t just – “

Taeyeon suddenly released Jessica and let her arms drop to her side but didn’t move away. Her gaze intensified, making the other girl’s knees buckle.

“Touch me.”

Jessica’s eyes widened, mouth agape, lips quivering. She wanted to step back but the window prevented her from doing so. Her eyes started to water again as she shook her head.

“Tae, please – “

“Touch me, Sooyeon-ah.”

The younger woman bit her lip hard as she fought to not be swayed by Taeyeon’s words. She wanted to hit the insufferable woman in front of her but perfectly knew the consequences if she did. She pulled her arms tighter against her chest and glared at Taeyeon as a feeble attempt at defiance.

“Don’t do this to me! You can’t ing do this to me!” Taeyeon matched her glare.

“I’ll do whatever it takes for you to come back to me again!” Jessica continued to shake her head, not wanting to believe what she was hearing.

“That’s not fair, Taeyeon. You know that’s not fair. You can’t keep playing with my heart like this!” Jessica just wanted everything to end else her heart would shatter beyond repair.

“Our relationship has never been fair to begin with, Sica-ya. We both messed up, yes, and I took you for granted when all you ever wanted was for me to show you how much I love and appreciate you. It’s my chance now to make things right, even though it was really me who wasted yours in the first place.”

Jessica’s whole body was visibly shaking, and Taeyeon wanted nothing more than to bring her back into the safety of her arms. She just needed to push Jessica a little bit more. She knew that it was extremely selfish of her to use the younger woman’s feelings against her, but she’d be damned if she allowed Jessica to end whatever it was between them, and even if it meant playing dirty, then so be it. Nothing else mattered.

Taeyeon leaned forward slightly and internally smirked when Jessica’s eyes automatically landed on the older girl’s lips, unable to do anything but swallow hard.

“Touch me.”

As if hypnotized by Taeyeon’s voice, her familiar heat from her closeness overwhelming, Jessica slowly unfurled her hands and tentatively reached out to the other woman, gently placing her palms flat on Taeyeon’s chest near her collarbones and gradually sliding up towards the older girl’s neck. She released the breath she was holding as she savored the feeling of Taeyeon’s warm, smooth skin against her fingers again, unconsciously caressing her nape, and Taeyeon couldn’t help but sigh in pure bliss.

“Tae – “

Taeyeon placed her hands on Jessica’s waist and pulled their bodies together as their foreheads touched, both relishing in each other’s presence after so long.

“I missed you so much, Jung Sooyeon.”

They stayed in that position for a while as they took pleasure in just being near the other, being able to hold each other again. Jessica was the first to pull away but only enough to be able to gaze at Taeyeon, a sad smile adorning her lips.

“Let me go, Taeyeon. We can’t do this anymore.”

Taeyeon’s grip on her waist tightened as it was her turn to shake her head no. Jessica stared at her affectionately and gently her face, from her forehead to her cheeks to her jaw, as if trying to commit everything to memory.

“You don’t know how much I yearned for you to hold me like this again. I love you. I honestly don’t know how not to love you, but I don’t want to any longer.” Jessica then placed her fingers softly on Taeyeon’s lips, tenderly caressing them, momentarily mesmerized by how delicate yet inviting they still were. She returned her gaze back up, the same sad smile still in place.

“It hurts too much, Taengoo.”

Taeyeon shook her head again, voice caught in , as the first sign of vulnerability entered her eyes.

“You don’t mean that,” she croaked. Jessica continued to caress her face lovingly, trying her best not to show how deeply frightened she really was, her mind and her heart at war with each other.

Truthfully, if they had found themselves in this situation months prior, she would’ve rejoiced and jumped for joy without a care in the world, immediately latching herself to Taeyeon and hoping to continue where they left off. But now she was scared. She still irrevocably loved the older girl no doubt, but it took her this long to build up her walls around her heart, and she knew that Taeyeon could and would easily destroy it; with one glance, with one caress, with one whisper.

“What about you, Taeyeon-ah? Do you still love me?” Taeyeon pulled the other closer, their bodies perfectly molding against each other, their lips only a hair’s breadth away, her eyes searching Jessica’s imploringly for anything, anything that would make the younger girl understand that she was sincere.

“I never stopped, Sooyeon,” Taeyeon murmured, lips grazing against the younger woman’s gently. Jessica shivered but continued to stare at Taeyeon, her eyes narrowing slightly.

“Liar.”

Jessica was about to push her away when Taeyeon recaptured her lips in a frenzy, hoping that it would convey how desperately she wanted her Sooyeon to believe her. The other was startled but didn’t have the strength to fight back, allowing herself to succumb to the other woman’s ministrations as Taeyeon slowly steered them towards the bed. Jessica might be taller than her, but she was also undoubtedly lighter, the older girl able to lift her with minimal strain and easing her down on the mattress, head propped up against the pillow, lips still attached as Taeyeon pressed herself on top of her.

They kissed like it was going to be their last. The desire for each other was obviously present, but they knew that it wasn’t lust that was fueling them at that moment, but the sheer pleasure of just wanting to feel the other against them again. Jessica wanted to drown herself in Taeyeon’s very existence, ached for the other as if her life depended on everything Taeyeon offered.

Taeyeon kissed her like she wanted to devour her, silently telling the other how much she needed her, wanted her, loved her. Because this was Jessica, and, despite her lack of words and ineptitude at showing her emotions, her Sooyeon always understood her best. That never changed. Sooyeon would never change, even if what the younger woman was saying was different from what she’s actually feeling.

When the need for oxygen arose, the two finally parted from each other, eyes closed, breathing jagged. Taeyeon opened her eyes and carefully tilted Jessica’s head so the latter would look at her, eyes burning with so much love and sincerity for the younger woman, her other half.

“I love you very much, Jung Sooyeon. No one else. You’re mine, so please, please, never ever say you’re going to give your love away to someone other than me. You’re so beautiful, inside and out, and no one in this world deserves you. I don’t deserve you, but I’m just too much of a coward to let you go. So please, stop asking that of me, because I can’t. I won’t.”

And Taeyeon quickly sealed her declaration with another searing kiss.

A/N: FINALLY!!!!!! omg i am honestly so happy to have finished and uploaded this chapter within the year. haha! this had been a very emotional chapter and i couldn't help but shed a few tears of my own as i was writing this.

i think there's only one more chapter to go *ugly crying*

i sincerely thank you all for loving and supporting this story of mine. to many more stories and taengsic interactions in the future!

Merry Christmas, guys!!!