“She’s ignoring me.” Sunny looked up briefly at the sulking girl before resuming her game. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, knowing immediately who her roommate was talking about.

“I say you deserve it,” she said bluntly.

“Yah!” Taeyeon had open, shocked that her best friend would kick her while she was already down. Sunny didn’t care and just continued playing.

“I think it’s about time. The poor girl’s been vying for your attention and forgiveness for the past year and a half. She’s practically a saint in my book.” Taeyeon grunted and continued to sulk, thinking about what Sunny said. The latter sighed, paused her game, and gave her undivided attention to her friend.

“Taeyeon-ah. I know that you’re tired of hearing this over and over again. Yes, she made a mistake. Yes, you got hurt because of it. But, unless there’s something else that she did for her to warrant such unnecessary treatment from you, don’t you think this cold war of yours has gone on long enough? She’s more than made up for it, but you never acknowledged her efforts. Jessica loves you. Even a blind person would be able to see that. Everyone knows how crazy that girl is for loving you. Can’t you cut her some slack? Just tell her you don’t love her anymore if that’s what you want to believe. Give her the closure she deserves so that she can move on from you. The girls and I love you both, but we also love the group. And your actions towards each other are affecting it. What more do you want her to do, Taetae?” Sunny whispered the last part solemnly.

Taeyeon knew that all the girls were affected. She was just too stubborn to address it, not to mention all of them barely had time to completely get together (which wasn’t really a valid enough reason, to be honest). Taeyeon plopped down on her bed in defeat.

“Has she talked to you?” she asked, then lifted her head up to look at Sunny when she didn’t answer.

“She did, didn’t she?” Taeyeon prodded. Sunny sighed then nodded. Taeyeon sat upright and looked at Sunny, waiting for the latter to continue. Sunny fiddled with her fingers, trying to think of how much she could tell her friend. She was startled when a pillow hit her thigh.

“Well?” Taeyeon asked anxiously. Sunny sighed again.

“It’s really not my place to say anything that she told me, Tae. All I can say is that she’s finally trying to move forward now, even if it means moving on from you. She will continue to ask for your forgiveness, but don’t expect her to keep coming back to you any time you want her to.” Taeyeon was quiet, but Sunny could see the conflict in her eyes. But knowing her leader, she needed the extra push.

“The ball’s in your court, Tae. Always has been.” With that said, Sunny patted Taeyeon’s shoulder gently, stood up, and then left her friend to her thoughts.

Another day, another practice session finished. Half of the girls already went ahead due to other scheduled activities, leaving Taeyeon, Jessica, and Stephanie to finish cleaning up the practice room, with Hyoyeon volunteering to get snacks for them. Taeyeon couldn’t help but observe Jessica from her peripheral vision as she finished gathering her stuff and then stretched a bit, her shirt rising up, giving Taeyeon a glimpse of her thin yet toned midriff. Taeyeon heard a small giggle beside her, then quickly went back to whatever it was she was doing (which was nothing), cheeks flushed. She felt someone nudge her side. She looked up to see an amused Stephanie smiling at her.

“What?” Taeyeon asked nonchalantly. Stephanie’s smile grew wider.

“For someone who’s supposedly dismissive towards a certain someone, you’re not very discreet when checking her out.” Taeyeon’s ears became as red as her cheeks.

“Shut up! I am not checking her out! I just happened to glance at her just as she was stretching,” Taeyeon reasoned, purposely ignoring Stephanie’s knowing eyes.

“Uh huh, whatever you say, Taetae.” Stephanie shifted closer, and Taeyeon looked up as her friend nudged her shoulder. They stared at each other for several seconds before Taeyeon sighed and looked down as she absentmindedly flipped her water bottle a few times.

“It’s difficult being on the receiving end, huh?” Stephanie started. Taeyeon didn’t answer.

“She still loves you, y’know. I know that you know that. But you really can’t blame her for wanting to move on, despite what happened. She also deserves to live her life, and not just for you,” Stephanie whispered, then stayed silent when Jessica walked by towards the other side of the room and plopped herself down on the couch with her earphones on. Taeyeon stole a quick glance before playing with her water bottle again.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Taeyeon looked at her like she grew another head, eyes wide and unblinking.

“What kind of question is that?!” Taeyeon asked, loud enough for Jessica to look up for a brief moment, then looked away as soon as she realized she was staring at Taeyeon. Stephanie noticed her American friend’s cheeks were flushed. She just shook her head at the sight and faced her best friend again.

“What do you mean what kind of question was that? It’s either yes or no, Kim Taeyeon. It’s been more than a year, so WE presumed that you’d know your answer by now. I mean, I know you guys never really broke it off officially. She and the others just assumed you did. You just, sort of, stopped feeling, but I know that you still care.” Taeyeon just exhaled loudly and closed her eyes, resting her head on the wall.

It had been several minutes already and it seemed that Taeyeon wasn’t going to answer any time soon, even though the old adage of ‘Silence means yes’ lingered in Stephanie’s mind. She sighed and got up from the floor, collected her stuff, then Taeyeon’s head before going over to sit with Jessica. Taeyeon eyed them from her spot before closing her eyes again and pinched the bridge of her nose, not noticing that Hyo already arrived with their food. She was startled when someone gently tapped her shoulder and dangled a plastic bag in front of her. She followed the hand attached to it then quickly averted her gaze when she saw who was in front of her, not bothering to relieve the person of the bag.

Jessica internally sighed before placing the bag on the floor beside Taeyeon and walked away quietly. Normally, she would try and persuade Taeyeon to talk to her instead of just walking away without saying anything. Taeyeon wanted to bash herself, but old habits die hard. The only thing she wasn’t used to was for Jessica to not pester her anymore like before, and she realized that it bothered her more than it should.

It was a rare night that all nine ladies were inside the dorm with no further schedules, the others living outside deciding to stay over, so Sooyoung volunteered Hyoyeon and Taeyeon to cook a homemade meal instead of ordering in like what they would normally do. The two designated cooks, along with resident pranksters Yuri and Yoona, went for a quick grocery run to buy ingredients for their dinner and several snacks for later. As the younger ones separated from their unnies, Taeyeon and Hyoyeon went towards the produce section.

It was no secret that the two Kims were still a bit awkward with each other when left alone for long, but having dinner duty together somewhat eased the awkwardness. Until Hyoyeon mentioned the Ice Princess out of the blue.

“Yah, Kim Taeyeon.” Said girl was startled when her companion suddenly said her name solemnly. She placed the pack of potatoes inside their cart before giving her full attention to her member.

“Can you please answer me truthfully?” At Tae’s confused nod, Hyo took a deep breath and stared at her friend.

“Does Jessica still have a chance with you? I mean, do you still have feelings for her? ‘Cause if you don’t, I am begging you, on her behalf, please let her go.” Taeyeon furrowed her eyebrows, trying to make sense of Hyoyeon's request.

“Hyo – “

“I want her to meet someone new.” At Hyoyeon’s declaration, Taeyeon’s eyes widened and her jaw slacked. The dancer just stared at her, gauging her reaction.

“W-what are you – “

“Let her go. Give her the closure she deserves. I love you both, but seeing her continuously chase after you breaks my heart, regardless of whose fault it was. She doesn’t want to move on from you, but she knows that she has to. So let her go. Please.”

The eldest just stared dumbfounded at her sister, her mind only processing that Hyoyeon wants Jessica, her Jessica, to be with someone else. Someone that wasn’t Taeyeon.

She honestly never imagined seeing Jessica with someone else. Selfishly, albeit unconsciously, Taeyeon always thought that Jessica would always love her, despite past relationships and their own history. She felt a light slap on her shoulder as she was awakened from her reverie.

“Unnie, what are you doing there looking like that? Hyo-unnie is already at the next aisle. Are you okay?” Somehow, Yoona was already beside Taeyeon without her noticing. She only smiled at her and assured her that she was fine when the truth was that she was anything but.

Taeyeon was quiet during the ride home and until they were back at the dorm preparing dinner. Hyoyeon didn’t bring up the subject again even though Taeyeon was curious as to who it was that she wanted Jessica to meet. Just the thought alone made her insides turn uncomfortably for some reason, a bitter taste in as soon as she muttered “mine” under her breath. She chuckled humorlessly and shook her head. She went back to cooking and missed Hyoyeon's hidden smirk from the other side of the counter.

To Taeyeon’s dismay, Jessica and Hyoyeon's schedules seemed to coincide together more often than usual. Or it already did, she just didn’t mind (or didn’t care) before the talk she had with Hyo (Or Stephanie. Or even Sunny). This meant that the two had the same days off, which may then lead to going out and meeting new people. Taeyeon didn’t even realize how tense she was until her manager took the iPad with their schedules on it away from her.

“Taeyeon-ah, you look pale. You don’t approve of this month’s schedule? There’s really no difference from last month. Much.” Taeyeon sighed.

“It’s not that, Oppa. I just noticed the other girls and I don’t have much time together again. Their schedules are different from mine.”

“Fany and Juhyun share the same schedule as you. You will still see the others during practice and most mornings.”

“It’s not the same, though. I just feel like I don’t spend as much time with the others as before.”

“That’s the price of showbiz, kid. You just need to make the most out of the time you do have with them. I assume you also mean wanting to spend time with our Princess Jung, too?” Her manager teased. Taeyeon’s cheeks flushed red.

“W-what are you talking about, Oppa? Our schedules don’t match with each other so I seldom get to see Jessica even if I wanted to,” Taeyeon mumbled. Her manager just grinned.

“Whatever you say, kid. Remember, own up to the choices that you make.” Taeyeon just looked at him funny as he left her alone.

“What was that all about?” Tae muttered as she gathered her things. Fany and Juhyun already went ahead to their practice room to meet the others. As she rounded a corner, she caught sight of Hyoyeon, Sooyoung, and Jessica sneaking away towards an empty hall. Taeyeon had half a mind of following and reprimanding them for loitering around during practice time, but her curiosity got the best of her, especially since she noticed the three giggling like high school girls. Taeyeon carefully followed them and hid behind a corner where she wouldn’t be immediately seen.

“- answer him already, Sica-ya! The poor boy’s been texting you like crazy for days already. I’m sure a simple hello from you will make his day.”

“You guys already met twice. Didn’t you say you liked talking to him? I’m sure you guys are at the same wavelength if you give him a chance.”

“Not to mention he’s not exactly hard on the eyes – “

“And he’s well off – “

“And totally into you! Oh my gosh, Hyo! Sica’s blushing!” Said girl kept on fanning her face as her friends . Taeyeon couldn’t stop the frown from forming on her face as she listened in. Her mood was quickly turning sour the more she stayed there. Of course, she had confidence that Jessica wouldn’t enter into any serious relationship immediately, but the thought of her actually trying to get back to the dating scene didn’t sit well with her. How could it, when she knew, deep down, that Jessica still occupied a huge space in her heart? She just chose to stop acknowledging it for the past year or so.

“Well, he is nice and kinda sweet…” Jessica giggled as Hyo and Soo squealed at what their friend said, which made Taeyeon frown all the more.

“B-but don’t you think it’s too soon? I’m not exactly the most stable person to get into a relationship with at the moment.” Hyoyeon sighed and patted Jessica’s shoulder.

“You made a mistake, Sica. But you’re also only human who was under a lot of stress in an unhealthy relationship. And you weren’t completely sober when it happened. It doesn’t exactly excuse you from what happened, but we were just as guilty for not being able to look after you that day. Stop beating yourself already.”

“We talked about this already, Sica-ya. We love you, we love Taeng, and we love the group. It’s been more than a year, which should tell you something in regards to her feelings. Taeyeon made a choice already, and we think that you should, too.” Jessica sighed and leaned towards Hyoyeon who wrapped her arms around her.

“Soo’s right, Sica. But regardless of what your choices will be, you know that we’ll always be here for you.”

Taeyeon’s ears rang. She stepped back slowly before turning and made her way towards the practice room.

‘At this rate, the girls will be able to fully convince her to move on. Yes, I’m selfish. I won’t let them get into her head. She’s not allowed to like nor love anyone else. I need to do something about this soon, or else I’ll really lose her for good.’