It’s been over a few days since my last attempt to prove my skills. It’s obvious they’re convinced that I can be a better example for their army, therefore I was given the responsibility to improve them whilst keeping them safe, whether it’s in or outside the battle. I was wondering how the hell I am supposed to do that. Coaching them how to fight is easy, but keeping them alive? I was accustomed to killing their kind, never once have I ever try to protect them.

 

Lay has been my accompany since they layout my task, they were aware that my leadership in this expertise is flawed, I might not be able to execute my order perfectly and it can cause them unnecessary problems in the future, so they have given Lay an additional assignment to oversee my activity when I’m training their army, somehow they know Lay is the only one who can control me at the moment.

 

I’ve learned quite a small amount of information given the time of how long I’ve been here. Turns out the Gervais here have a special training place underground which can only be accessed by Gervais’ fingerprints. Nobody knows the exact location or how it looks like, they keep tight security about that place. And since they can only practice their powers there, I haven’t got a clue what kind of ability they possess, except for Baekhyun.

 

“Dude off!”

 

I was currently walking towards a commotion near the clinic, somebody informed me a fight has breakthrough, and everybody was making such a big fuss over it. I honestly have no idea why though, just let them fight to their heart content, sooner or later they’ll get bored and stop by themself.

 

From this close distance, I can see Chanyeol is trying to break the group but the crowd seems rather hard to control. I lean my side to a nearby tree watching the event before me. If there’s another thing I learned about this place is that Kyungsoo has a similar role to lay in my group, he is the second in command. Suho, Kyungsoo, and Sehun have the most respect here, while the rest of them are treated like a friend by the people.

 

Sehun... He’s so hard to read. Even though I stay at his place, it didn’t affect my relationship with him. Random glance and a few questions are our daily routines. Both of us seem to find it hard to lessen the obvious tension. Sometimes I still caught him staring at me with such intensity in his eyes, like he was trying to figure me out. He knows something’s off when my group came here, and he refuses to let me off the hook so easily.

 

“Stop fighting right now!” Chanyeol yelled at the top of his lungs. He had successfully gained their attention and halted the show. “Don’t you dare hit him again!” He then points to the guy wearing a gray jacket.

 

“Yea, don’t you dare hit me again!” The shorter one who’s wearing a blue shirt added, feeling smug that he have Chanyeol to back him up. He was the one who’d been receiving the punch earlier.

 

“Shut up you moron.” Chanyeol’s voice was full of frustration. He’s trying to help him yet the kid was being obnoxious, he’s acting like he wanted to get kicked.

 

Chanyeol was giving them both a lecture patiently when a grey jacketed guy was screaming that the other one was pissing him off. And of course, that’s nowhere near the truth. The one wearing the jacket was infamous for his knack of making fun of other people and constantly searching for trouble whenever he could. Whenever I’m training here, he was the only one who refuses to do what I said. I don’t exactly care if any of these men fail and get themself killed out there, so I let him do as he pleases.

 

I was getting bored out of my mind right now, I have to find something to keep me entertained for the rest of the day, and since watching the two of the soldier fighting for hours is not possible any more thanks to Chanyeol, I need to find another source. I was just gazing through the crowd when I saw Sehun in the exact pose as I am just across the field. His outfit today was not any different than any other, he’s a man that rolled up his sleeves, with his pants clung tightly to his legs muscles. In addition to the breeze running through his hair softly was making him stand out from the rest of the world. Did this guy wield his gorgeous looks like a weapon or what?

 

For a few minutes, I stayed like this, watching him in silence. I wonder what kind of power he has, is it lethal? Or is it something that I can easily counter? Suddenly his eyes found mine, and it startled me a bit. I quickly avert my gaze back to Chanyeol and noticed that everybody was looking at me. Each and every one of them has their heads turned to properly face me. Then slowly they are whispering.

 

“Well? Are you okay with it Luhan?” Chanyeol asked loudly to get my attention.

 

“About what?”

 

“I said I want you to train them until midnight as their punishment.” His head nodded to where the two fighters before.

 

“Yeah, of course.” Not bothering to fake my bored tone, hey at least I have something fun to do now.

 

“Why are you always fighting Luhan? It makes me constantly in protection mode.” Lay rested his elbow on my shoulder. I noticed he has his smirk plastered on his face, he knows I’m not aware of his presence before he touches me, and he’s being smug right now. His stealth skill is getting better and better, I scoff lowly, refusing to give him any satisfaction for acknowledging this.

 

“You are one to know that I don’t need any protection,” I said, shrugging his hand off of me.

 

“I know. I was talking about them.” Lay’s voice was low and playful. I make a small grin to him, as I pat his back repeatedly; silently wishing him good luck to keep me under control.

 

One by one everybody started to left the field to go back and do what they’re supposed to do, still, I can make out a few people standing at the end of the field to –I suppose- see what kind of punishment I was about to execute. My daily training was already hard as it is, perhaps they were wondering how much worse it can get for my kind of conviction. I pop my knuckles and the end of my lip. I got a crowd, might as well give them a show.

 

By the time there’s no one else in the middle of the field except for me and the two trouble, I charge at them.

 

For a few days I’ve trained them, I can make sure they’re most likely would pass out in five minutes. Forget about fighting me back, for them to actually block my attacks are not possible. Not when I am running full speed, not when I am so excited to see blood on them, not ever. I run at them for a flying kick. My feet making contact with one with a blue shirt and send him colliding with the other one. I stop my movement for a minute, giving them a chance to regain their composure and stand up.

 

One wearing a grey jacket managed to get back on his feet faster, he saw me waiting for his counter boringly as I cross my hands over my chest. Then, he wastes no time at all. He attempts to copy my action before as he runs at me eyeing my side, and when he was about to swing his leg, I dodge, swing my back leg around, and kick him in the face. He falls and sweeps my legs from under me. I fall on my back and jump right back up onto my feet. He tries a kick to my face that I grab and pull, hurling him to the ground.

 

The audience was getting louder, some of them erupting to cheer when I was knocked to the ground. I my lips again and show a grin to the one who caused this. He’s getting good at this. As I was absorbed thinking I was a bit proud, I forgot that I have another opponent. As that happens, the blue shirt boy throws a head punch from behind me. I make no attempt to dodge because I know his soft punches wouldn’t hurt me. After his fist met my head, I retaliate, I give him back a headshot, body shot, leg kick to his chest. As he goes limp, I stayed him in place by holding his shoulder tightly, I punch him in the stomach and throw a left punch to his eye socket, sending him down and knocking him out cold for now.

 

The boy with the grey jacket finally gets up while one hand holding his head, and the other holding to a nearby tree for support. The side of his head now bloody. As he’s holding his head, I side kicked him in the head, his head was thrown hard to the side and met with the hard tree, sending blood and spit to its surface. And that was the end round for him.

 

“Our enemy doesn’t always use their fist to fight Luhan.” Suddenly I heard Sehun’s voice not far away from where I stand. I turn around and see he’s walking towards me. In the process he makes a gesture with his hand like he’s summoning someone, then at the corner of my eyes, I can picture five men wearing white hospital gown rushing over to the injured. “What would you do if someone was carrying a weapon?”

 

I heard a soft click from Sehun’s way and caught he was taking out his pocket knife. He gives to me and makes a small nod as if he was telling me to use it. Then he unsheathed a buck knife from his belt. From the stance he was in, I understood what he wants. Dragging my feet forward, I need to precisely calculate my movements. Sehun’s one of the Gervais here, and I have never seen him fight. I have no idea how good he handles a knife and what kind of tactic he used in his strike.

 

Footsteps crashed through the grass. Sehun pushed out his hair and steadied his arm, waiting for me. With firm determination, I slashed my knife through the air as I repeatedly watch his every move. I admit that my skill with a knife is not something I could brag about, we rarely practice with knives in Kris’ compound, Kris state that it wasn’t necessary. My very existence is lethal for long or short combat.

 

I take a deep breath. We run charge of each other. He goes to smacks me across the face, but I block it with my hand and I used the knife to attacks his legs. But before I can successfully attack him, he slashed me right across my forehead, and when I was stunned he managed to slice my upper arm. He was about to cut me up further before I open my grasp and let my knife fall then grab both of Sehun’s arms midway. As I ready myself to deliver a blowing kick to him, he twisted my arms at an odd angle, immobilizing me, then push me forward harshly.

 

“Do better sweetheart.” He looks me down and he gives me an is-that-all-you’ve-got smirk. Pushing his hair back, he plays with his knife as if winning over me was an easy thing to do. He’s positive he can take me on by his little weapon.

 

That darn stubborn independence he’s raised to have is going to get him killed.

 

Picking my knife from the ground I finally realized something. He’s way better than me with knives. He asked what would I do if my opponent uses a weapon to fight me, what would I do if someone was eyeing me with arms, well the answer is easy, take that weapon out. 

 

Standing straight, this time I was the one who grins. I have to avoid butting him head to head because he seems to have good coordination if his enemy is in front of him. So let’s test his back defense, shall we?

 

Running around him makes his eyes glued to mine. He’s trying hard to read where will I strike, and slowly but surely his guard subside. At the right moment, I increase my speed and standing still right behind him. He realized it too late, when he spun around to face me, I already make a big cut right on his back. His torn shirt is damp because of the blood oozing out.

 

“LUHAN!” Someone was yelling my name from across the field, I don’t know who that is but his voice is thick with concern. To whom it was shown I have no idea.

 

Sehun successfully withstands the pain knowing he’s still willing to face me with his knife in his left hand charging right to my chest. I quickly reacted by changing the grip of my knife and position it right to his neck whilst at the same time my right-hand goes straight to his knife, gripping it tightly between my fists and the blade rest between my fingers, cutting them open.

 

He stops his movements.

 

His eyes wide as he saw my bleeding hand and my knife ready to plunge itself deep in his throat. For the first time since I’ve been here, I finally saw something in him, panic was a clear emotion shown in his eyes. He makes an attempt to grab my knife with his empty hand but I press my knife deeper into his neck. I smirk at him knowing I have full control of his act. Pushing more strength to my right hand, I bend his wrist back till he drops his knife. And after that, I throw away my knife.

 

I don’t know if it’s that he’s trying hard just to make me kneel or he merely wants to test me out, but I can’t let him win this. I swing an angry fist at Sehun, hitting him on the shoulder. Though the force of it knocks him down, the blow was unsatisfying, embarrassing even. My hand was starting to throb badly and it affects my blow. I punch him in the face and before he can fall to the ground, I grab him and hit him twice in the stomach.

 

Sehun gets up after I let him fall. His face red where I punched him and his heavy breath claim that he’s in pain. His shirt was getting even wetter by the minute, even the grass he was laying before turned red due to the massive blood he’s losing. I’m not in a different situation either, my face is a mess because blood keeps dripping from my forehead, and my hands are starting to get numb because of Sehun’s lash.

 

The injured boy moans again and presses a hand to his bruised cheek. I let out a low chuckle as I study him before me. I don’t know why I’m laughing at him but somehow this situation amuses me.

 

“ARE YOU ING INSANE?” Chanyeol yelled on top of his lungs. His face was so dark with fury, hands balling into a fist beside him. He trots himself to me and Sehun's position.

 

He looks at the state we are in and let out a loud sigh. He places his hand onto Sehun’s back in order to help him to stand, and when he removes his hand it was painted with Sehun’s blood. I’m not worried about Sehun’s condition, not even in the slightest. He’s a Gervais, he won’t die. Could Chanyeol just chill the out?

 

“I’m okay Chanyeol.....” Sehun said to calm Chanyeol down. He then looks at his shirt and he too let out a loud sigh. Suddenly he ripped open his shirt right there and then, I was shocked at his action, yet unable to rip my gaze somewhere else. “Damn it. I really like this shirt.”

 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped him earlier. I really am sorry.” Lay’s voice was soft and careful like he was afraid to anger Chanyeol any further. But I can’t help to notice the hard gaze he held once his eyes found mine. Great. He’s angry at me too. Why is everyone constantly being a pain in the ?

 

Chanyeol then shrugged off Lay’s apologies, and order him to take me to the hospital, to get the treatment I needed he said. Although I’m sure I’d be fine eventually, the bracelet Kris made me wear has been limiting my power, and it obviously influencing my Gervais power to heal quickly too. I guess Kris didn’t want any suspicions to raise about this matter, therefore forcing me to suffer longer than the usual is his solution.

 

When Lay was about to usher me to the hospital, three-man of Suho’s personal army voiced out a summoning for lay by Suho. They claim Suho needed Lay to do something for him, and it seems urgent by the look of their face. I pat his back while pushing him away from me, yet before he can make any single step he grabs both of my hand and his eyes started to roam my body. He was examining my every inch, and every time he found a cut or wound on me, his eyebrows would scrunch together and he would bite his inside cheek.

 

“Just go. I’ll take him.” I was a little bit surprised when Sehun said that. I peered my view to him, thinking of any possible reason why he would offer me his generosity. “I need medical treatment too, might as well we go together.” Then he flashes me his one-of-a-kind smile. The one which according to rumors, would make any girl fall to their knees. Hmph. It’s not even that gorgeous.

 

After taking some time to think it over, Lay finally settles with Sehun. He and the three men sent was walking further away from me before finally lost from my line of view. And only then, Sehun would tell me to follow him. We were walking alone, leaving Chanyeol to deal with our messes.

 

My audience has not diminished even though the show was terminated, in fact, they start gaining in number. The time Sehun and I reach the outer skirt of the field, they separate into two groups, allowing me and Sehun to leave the scene. I could feel their gaze on me, and even heard some of their whisperings. Me, a nobody, is able to take on their superiors. Some of them find that as a motivation to do better, while some of them feared me.

 

A few minutes after we left the field, my mind was occupied by some other things to the point I was not aware of where Sehun is leading me before. In front of me now is his house, and here I thought Sehun was going to actually help me. He opens the door and held it for me, once I enter his place, he told me to sit in the living room and stay put. I rolled my eyes at him, not used to take an order from a petty man.

 

Checking my forehead on the reflection from the glass table, from my observation the cut is pretty deep, and it’s going to need a few stitches. I dread the moment when I have to ask Lay and help me with this, he’s going to be furious. Although Jongdae on the other hand would be thrilled knowing someone can hurt me this bad. Ugh. Speaking of Jongdae, I haven’t seen him for the last two days, I wonder if he’s alright.

 

A door opening to my right and then Sehun come out with first aid kit on his hand. He slowly walks to me and sits right across of me on the table. He started to take out things from the kit to clean my wounds. I was worried sick, does he even know what he was doing right now?

 

“What the hell are you doing?” I lean away from him the time he tries to place his hand on my face.

 

“I’m trying this new thing called being nice. Don’t push it.” he yanked my shirt so I’ll be within his reach again.

 

He looks horrible, yet I can’t help but admit that his eyes made me think he’s anything but horrible. His hard gaze which I was so accustomed to, this time it softens, even lighten up a little bit. He would blink a few times in order to mount his focus as he’s attending to my cuts. I found that odd at first, why is he focusing so hard on such little matter, he could just give me the kit and let me do this by myself yet he thinks this is what he has to do.

 

“Stop abusing me.” suddenly he said as he tilts his head up and looks me right in the eyes.

 

“What? I’m not-“

 

“Unwanted attention is also a form of abuse.” Smirking at me, he was aware I’m looking at him the entire time.

 

He was the one who breaks the eye contact as he tidies up the aid kit. He put back all the things he takes out earlier, close the kit and lastly put it on the floor. I thought he’s going to leave now seeing as he finished instead he scoots closer to me, still sitting on the glass table. With both hands placed at the edge of the table, he makes no secret as he’s watching my every move.

 

“Why are you here?” My whole body becomes stiff as he fires his question. I refuse to answer anything by sealing my lips shut. “You won’t answer that? Fine. How about, who are you?”

 

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, I think he knows I won’t say anything to him. He makes a tsk sound and his feet keep tapping every now and then making me more nervous.

 

“I’ve lived for hundreds of years, no man can ever harm me. But here you are, making it seems like it was the easiest thing to do...” I can’t help but smirk at that, nobody ever harmed him before? Gosh, even I’m sure my human army could do better than him. “So, tell me who are you.”

 

“Answer my question first, and I’ll do the same to yours.” I want to make a bargain with him, this is probably a bad idea, but I haven’t learned a lot about him, Suho, and any other Gervais here. I’m willing to take this chance. I need to finish this mission quickly so I can leave.

 

He studies me for a minute, maybe thinking that I was being an idiot, demanding something when I shouldn’t do that in the first place. Then he let a small smile to form whilst nodding at me. I sit upright and ponder how I should ask him without being obvious.

 

“You said you’ve lived for a long time, but you’re fighting instinct haven’t kicked in yet, and your survival skill is non-existent. Why is that?”

 

“First question and already mocking me, huh?” He laughs at me as he runs his fingers through his hair. “For the first few hundred years, I didn’t live like this. I reside in a human village far from here, and I have never used any violence. So I guess I could say that I’m still learning.”

 

He was like me.

 

I remember when I spent the best years of my life before meeting Kris. My life was so peaceful, and like him, I never have to fight with anybody. I was happy, really happy with myself because I had him.

 

“It’s my turn now. Have you ever kill anyone?” long gone was his cheery mood earlier, yet I can’t seem to be surprised.

 

“Yes.” Many of that in fact. You just have no idea how much blood I have on my hands.

 

“Why?”

 

“I believe it’s my tur-“

 

“Why?” he asked again. Leaving me no room but to answer his question. He’s urging me to spill anything to understand me, but I don’t want that.

 

“Why spilled blood if not for the pleasure of it?” my answer must not what he had imagined, he raised his eyebrows the time he knew I meant every word I said.

 

He stayed still for a moment. None of us mutter any words. He’s thinking, about what I don’t know, perhaps he knows I could be a threat to his compound here, or maybe he wonders how he would use me as Kris did. I won’t let that happen, I’m not going to anybody’s pet anymore, not Kris, not anyone. I have a mission of my own, for my wellbeing.

 

“Have you ever kill anyone?” I’m asking him the same question hoping he would tip what kind of power he has and does it able to cause death. But to my rotten luck, he just nodded at me. “Why?”

 

“Different from you, I kill to protect.” He averts his gaze to the window and his posture was relaxing like his mind is taking him somewhere else. “You ain’t nobody until you got somebody. And I’m willing to do anything to protect them....” he turns his head abruptly to me, and said with a low voice “...even if I have to rid every possible threat.”

 

“Protecting someone could affect your power, you will eventually ignore any dangerous situation pose to yourself just to get them to safety.  It will weaken you.” I said with a firm tone.

 

I know what it’s like to want and protect somebody, the outcome it’s not always pride and relief. One time you wouldn’t be able to save them, one time eventually it would be too late, there’s nothing you could do... and that feeling will crumble you.

 

After I said that, he looks at me funny. He was smiling, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. I wonder does he already know this. Does he know what kind of catastrophic it will bring to be fond of someone? Did it happen already?

 

“I suppose at one point it is true. But that boundless goodwill could reveal unexpected power, opening your eyes to something which you didn’t even understand. I guess....” he trailed off, tightening his grip on the table. “...I just want to allow myself to dream again. Dreaming that I could do something to redeem my mistakes. I just hope that I can do that.”

 

I was surprised as to how similar he is to me, something happened to him I’m sure of that, and I can guarantee his horrid past is what makes him shape the kind of man he is now. But the difference between us is prominent, he wants to save everyone while I on the other hand want nothing but rid them. Dream? Hope? Yeah, I suppose I had them once. And right now I’m paying the price of having a dream that was too big to handle. I’ve gone weary.

 

“There’s no such thing as hope. To hope is equivalent to giving up, and it’s the biggest deception of all.”

 

I uttered those words without giving another thought. I didn’t dare to look at him, I was afraid his determination will shake me and turn my head around. I’m done playing a guardian knight to anyone because I wouldn’t be able to help them, save them. And in the end, it will haunt me, taunting me with the worst memories, memories of him. How it would kill me every time to see I abandon him, left him to die.

 

Gritting my teeth, I refuse to go down another memory lane just to make myself miserable. At least not now, when I can still dodge the proses. At least not when I have a company near me. Moving my eyes back to Sehun, I could see he was still watching me. But this time he had some kind of facial like I make him sick with all my negativity.

 

“Don’t look at me like that. I once sought peace too. But later I realize such a thing is impossible.” I said as I stand up and walk towards the window. It’s nightfall already. “I tried so hard to live my life to the fullest..... But one morning I opened my eyes and wished I was dead. I want someone to kill me.”

 

I remember those days like it was yesterday. I was begging Lay to kill me, to help me cease my pain. Because I don’t think I could survive this. I don’t think I would ever forgive myself, not that I could. The pain in my chest was killing me, even to breath seems to be a torture. I feel like I’m no longer in control over my body or my mind. I keep seeing images of what futures hold if he’s still alive. Him holding me close at night and whisper how much he loves me.

 

My vision starts to blur as seconds pass by. I want so badly to relive my days with him. But wishing for any rewinds in life are for cowards. Long ago I’ve learned to accept this reality, this is probably my punishment to think that I could have a normal life, to think I could make him save from any danger. That time I have yet to know, that I was the biggest danger he could ever face in his life. I’m so stupid.

 

I turn my heels to head to my bedroom but was stopped when I saw Sehun. He was standing right before me, his eyes boring to mine. Our proximity is too close, my mind tells me to break away from his spell but my eyes captured by his piercing gaze.

 

“There’s nothing harder than accepting the death of a loved one. And so we convince ourselves that they cannot die. But when it happened, it struck us down. I know. I’ve been there.” He continues to stare me down. “I feel pain and wish for death too. But it never comes. So I try to fix myself because you can’t rely on anybody to fix you. Try to smile. A smile is the best way to deal with difficult situations. Even if it’s a fake one. Used properly and it will lighten up your burden, little by little.”

 

No. He won’t understand. Even if he experienced the same things as me, our memories of it won’t be the same. The rage. The guilt. The sorrow. Eventually, that knot in your stomach becomes pain and it moves up into your chest and one day your heart stops and you’ll always know why. A kind heart is useless. It’s a flaw in this world. I don’t know if I should kill myself or kill everyone else.

 

Suddenly he placed his finger on my chin, slowly lifting it up. He was focusing hard on my lips. Looking at it with some kind of unmistakable longing. And when he was leaning closer to me, my body becomes rigid. I don’t know how to move my body and my eyes widen. Seeing this reaction, he moves past my lips to the side of my face.

 

“What’s the matter Lu? Afraid of temptation?” he whispers softly in my ear.

 

Then I push his body off of me, and grab the nearest thing to me, which happened to be a vase and throw it at him. He manages to dodge it at ease, leaving the vase to break as it make a contact with the hard floor.

 

“This discussion does not require a weapon discharge!” he exclaimed while throwing his hands up in the air.

 

“Vase is hardly a weapon!” I retorted back at him. I rolled my eyes at him and start to make way to my bedroom again.

 

“I’m sorry. I wish you could stop torturing yourself.” I stop in my tracks. My back is facing him. Who does he think he is? What does he know about me? He knows nothing of me. “Don’t you feel lonely? You carry this pain with you every day, in hopes of finding a way to kill it. Or perhaps you are waiting for it to kill you?”

 

“I’ve always been alone. Feeling lonely shouldn’t bother me.” I said firmly without turning to face him. I hate this. I hate the kind of people who’re trying to get closer to me. I don’t want them. They might get hurt. “I know you must think that I’m running away from my past. And I know running away wasn’t the solution, but it would ease the pain. Although I don’t deserve any redemption, I think I earned the right to take a break once in a while by running away.”

 

Because the truth is I’m afraid of pain. We all are.

 

Suddenly the front door was slammed open loudly. Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Suho, and Jongdae come through the door. They’re laughing so hard as they make way to the couch and make themself comfortable, leaving Jongdae standing still at the threshold. He was the only one who notices the hard tension between me and Sehun. He glances at the broken vase and the first aid kit resting on the floor. I leered over to the group on the couch and see Baekhyun is studying me and Sehun too. Great. He must’ve notices our auras.

 

Above all else, I’m glad I can finally see Jongdae. Whether I like to admit it or not I was beginning to worry he would be in some kind of trouble.

 

“I was pairing up with one soldier and ended up hurting myself. Look, my lips busted. Kiss it better?” Baekhyun said as he turns to Suho while pointing at his lips.

 

“Suho! Come on man, don’t flirt with Baekhyun. He’s mine.”  Chanyeol whine loudly then proceeds to wrap his arms around Baekhyun’s waist.

 

“Dude he was the one who flirts with me!” Suho yelled then throw his head back.

 

“Oh wait I almost forgot!” Baekhyun’s voice was getting higher from excitement. His face lights up so much to the point I can’t seem to hide a smile. “I think I’m going to throw a party!” both Suho and Sehun groan at the same time. “Oh come on! His birthday is getting near and .......” when Baekhyun was going on and on about arranging a party, I tuned him out.

 

With footsteps nearing me I could feel Jongdae is going to ask me what’s going on before they came, but I wish earnestly he wouldn’t. I don’t have enough strength left right now. I just want to take a rest. But to my surprise Jongdae just stand beside me, looking over at my body, I believe examining me from the result of my fight earlier. I put my palm at his chest and push him back lightly, indicating him to stop worrying.

 

“.... I’m fun! Don’t you think so Luhan?”

 

I whipped my head to Baekhyun who was asking me about something but I couldn’t catch the full conversation.

 

“Fun. You remember fun, don’t you kid?” Suho ask me as he raised an eyebrow.

 

“Right. Now that we were talking about fun, thank you for today Luhan. That mess you’ve gotten me into is really fun.” Chanyeol said tiredly at me, and I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. Jongdae was so surprised to see me that he take a step back with his mouth opening wide.

 

“I’m here to check up on you and Sehun. But I can see that you’re both okay so I’ll get going.” Suho’s voice was calm and collected. He must be angry at me too for making a ruckus at his land but he won’t even talk about it. “Jongdae asked me to visit you so when you two are done, I expect Jongdae to be back at his post.” Jongdae merely nodded at him.

 

Before Suho left, he calls out to Baekhyun and Chanyeol to leave as well and give time for Sehun to rest. They refused at first but Sehun insist to kick them out. He shoves them out of the door and locks it. He makes a mess with his hair and takes a deep breath. Afterward, he announces to me and Jongdae that he’s going to sleep and he orders us to be quite. Taking small steps one of the time, he proceeds to go upstairs to his room. And when he could no longer be seen, I face Jongdae.

 

“I’m glad to see you.”

 

“How soulless. You’re a great liar.” Jongdae starts to circle me, placing his hands on my cuts every now and then. “Are you okay?” I just nodded at him.

 

I can’t whine to him or he would ask Lay to heal me and it would trigger Lay’s bracelet. I don’t want Lay to get hurt for me. I said to him that I want to change my clothes first and tell him to wait on the couch. I go to the second floor to reach my room but once again I stop in my tracks. Sehun’s room is right beside mine, so whenever I want to reach my room I have to pass his by. His door is always closed and locked. I never know what lies behind that door, but this time it was opened a little. The gap was allowing the light in his room to shine through the hallway. I can’t help but peek over.

 

There in his nightstand was all kind of medicine. The bottles take up almost every space, only leaving one small clock to share the nightstand. Sehun was trying to take one medicine slowly. His hands tremble so much, making him hard to accomplish that. When he successfully gulp his pill down, he lay down on his bed and put the cover-up to his head.

 

I try to close his door as quietly as possible. What did I just see? What kind of drugs are those? Does he take them every night? As long as I know, Gervais can’t ever get sick. Yes, we bleed, but soon those wounds would heal, leaving not even a single scratch. What could possibly he needs those drugs for?

 

“LUHAN! LU! GET YOUR DOWN HERE!”

 

I was startled as Jongdae’s voice boomed through the house. I rushed down the stairs desperately wanting to kick his for yelling.

 

“Shut the up. You could wake Sehun up!” I whisper yell through my way. But what I see next gives me a solid reason why Jongdae would shout for me.

 

There, standing with his hands placed on either side of his waist was Zittao.

 

“Don’t worry he won’t wake up,” Zittao said as he smirks at me.

 

Zittao has the power to control time, he can stop it whenever he pleases. He can also control whose time to be stopped. So right now, I’m sure he has to stop everybody’s time except us in this compound. No matter what we do or said won’t be known to anybody. Therefore explaining why Jongdae allows himself to shout, knowing Sehun won’t hear anything.

 

Dread filling my lungs. What does Kris want now?

 

“I’ve simply come to give you a warning.” He said to the both of me and Jongdae, I’m sure he meant for Lay as well. “Don’t make any harsh decision on your own or Kris would have to take you back by force. You know what will happen to your treaty with Kris then, right Luhan?” he continues to taunt me as he makes a mocking face.

 

Of course, I know what will happen if Kris has me taken by force, our agreement about me walking away would be terminated. And I would never get a second chance. I ing know it, and Zittao was having a happy day because of it. He knows I can never disobey Kris, and because Kris is his partner, he often thinks that I should obey him too. Those who play like a leech have a hasty tendency to wring their necks with meaningless pride. And I ing hate that.

 

 “I will however ask that you keep me informed. So, what do you guys have for me?” His voice is leaving me no time to stall. How am I supposed to tell that I have nothing but basics information which I’m sure Kris has already known.

 

“Baekhyun has a light affinity. He’s the one I saw emitting light at our previous battle. He could also read people’s aura. He knows when one’s mind turns dark and murderous right away. He’s quite troublesome.” I informed him the only thing I’m sure right now.

 

“Fine. Then? What else?” he asked again and I found myself quite. “Come on. You’ve been here for more than three weeks and that’s all you’ve got?”

 

“Suho’s developing some kind of medical treatment for the Gervais here,” Jongdae said as he make a step forward.

 

“What kind of treatment?” Zittao’s voice was a little slow as he looks over his watch. His limit must have getting near.

 

“I’m not sure yet. It’s said to quicken the pace of regeneration if I’m not mistaken.” Jongdae’s eyes also follow Zittao’s movement. He glances over to me and he seems to be worried about something.

 

“Make sure what kind of effects it would have and how it works. I’ll be back next week.” He quickens his pace to leave but before he left, he said one last thing to me. “Oh, and Luhan. Please inform me about other member’s power, use any means necessary.” Then he gives me a sly smirk before closing the front door.

 

And somehow I know, without Zittao has to explain what he meant, I fully understand what ways he suggests. Get close to Sehun, and make him kneel before me.