“I like it here. This riverside. And also by your side,” you started, after spending a moment of silence while sightseeing over the Han river in the afternoon with your soon to be officially ex-boyfriend. You smiled as you sighed to yourself. “But I guess I can’t be here anymore, can I?”

Both of you did not look at each other. Your eyes were locked on the river, then to your shoes, then back to the river. While the big guy, Johnny Suh, tried to steal some glances at you. But knowing you wouldn’t even look at him, he joined you looking at the water.

“Whoever gets to be here by your side, she is a lucky one,” you continued, smiling painfully to yourself. “There is no single day going dull when being with you. I hope you know that.”

Then why are you slowly getting more and more distant? Why does it feel like I’m the only one trying?

“Anyway, it’s been great being with you, Johnny. Be happy, always.” You got up, preparing yourself to bid him your final good bye. “Thanks for being my plus one today. I appreciate that.”

This day would remark the official ending between you and him. After keeping his promise to go to Yeri’s homecoming party, you had to let him go as he wished. Therefore, you thought, it should be a beautiful good bye. That was the main reason why you asked him to accompany you one more time—the last one time—to your favorite spot in the city. Both of you spent many happy days there in the Han river.

Well, of course it wasn’t easy for you too to hold the tears from falling. But at least the memories coming to your mind whenever you sit there with Johnny were the good memories. The happy moments you shared with him for the past few years.

They say if you truly love someone, you should let them go. So, there goes nothing, you thought to yourself. “So long, Johnny. I hope you find the happiness you’ve been looking for. You will always be in my prayers.” You managed to flash him a bright smile.

“You too,” was all he could say. His words almost got choked in his throat. Has break up been always this easy? he wondered.

—※

“You’re going with Johnny, right?” Wendy asked with her sparkly eyes. She sounded as excited as always.

You were caught off guard. Your eyes rapidly landed at Johnny himself, your friends, and then back to Johnny. He also tried to be as cool as possible and gave his diplomatic smile.

“I’m… not,” you nervously told them. You were hesitated, especially the moment you said no all eyes were on you, including Johnny’s who seemed to have a hard time believing his ears. “We’re no longer together, as in together,” you concluded for them, as you quickly put on a smile.

“Oh, no.. Yeoreum, I’m sorry I didn’t know,” Seulgi slowly muttered, feeling guilty. All of your friends also looked somewhat apologetic. The mood became weird so you just had to convince them, particularly since the ex-boyfriend said nothing to help you cool down the situation.

“Chill, guys, we ended it on a very good circumstances.” You tried to sound as cheerful as possible. “Right, Johnny?” you snapped at him.

He almost got jolted by himself. It got him; your words ‘no longer together’. His eyes found yours, only to see you talking to him with your eyes only, rushing him to speak what you have spoken to convince the others.

“Johnny?” you called to wake him up.

“Bro, you okay?” Mark whispered.

The tall guy blinked as he brought his hand to brush his fringe. “Yeah. But, anyway, Yeoreum is right. That’s true. But we’re cool.”

“Johnny, are you okay?” Mark asked again when it was only him, Johnny, and Taeyong after leaving the venue to his place.

“Yeah, dude, are you really cool about it? Or are you just pretending to look cool?” Taeyong added. “Honestly you don’t look okay, okay?”

Johnny kept silent. He sat down, speechless, looking at his beer on his hand. Am I okay? Am I not okay?

“What happened to you and Yeoreum? You two were like the most peaceful couple on earth.”

What happened to us? Did I change? Did you change? Did we… change?

“Just don’t get drunk alone, okay? Call me or Mark whenever you want.” Taeyong pat his back. He and Mark were contemplating on leaving Johnny alone or not. Johnny did look miserable right now. Although he didn’t say anything, Taeyong and Mark could tell easily that he got distressed.

“Do you think she likes me sincerely?” Johnny suddenly mumbled. “Is there anything I’ve done ever hurt her?”

“Johnny, what are you talking about?” Taeyong sat back again, now even closer to his best bud, looking worried.

“Hyung, you’re talking nonsense. Summer noona genuinely likes you,” added Mark.

Johnny ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. A soft groan slipped off of his mouth. “Then why…”

“Did she leave you? Is there another man?” Mark interrupted. “Or is there another woman?”

“Mark Lee!” Taeyong hissed. “Seriously, Johnny, what happened? Did she say to break up with you?”

Shaking his head couple times, Johnny’s eyes started to become teary as he recalled what he did. “No. I did,” he confessed. It had been more than 2 weeks and regret started consuming his soul. “I was the one breaking it up. She didn’t say anything against it.”

Taeyong and Mark became speechless. They simply can’t believe it.

“I was upset. But I shouldn’t have said those words,” he cried. He even started sobbing as his memory recalled how it happened. How he suddenly couldn’t hold the urge to spill his feelings to you. He strongly believed he couldn’t do it anymore when he thought the feelings between you were not mutual.

'Don’t you think… we’re not who we used to be?’
'What do you mean?’
'I feel like things change. We change. Or maybe… you change.’
'Johnny, I don’t understand.’
'These days I feel like I’m the only one trying. Like I’m the only one who thinks our relationship is serious. Like I’m the only one who loves you yet you don’t feel the same.’
'Johnny, you know that’s not true.’
'But why do I feel like you’re slowly getting away? Honestly, these days it’s like you’re just existing whenever you’re with me.’
'Johnny…’
'Maybe we should stop. Let’s just not continue this thing.’
You turned your face to hide the tears streaming down your cheek. Your hand quickly wiped it before speaking. 'Well, if you say so…’
'I’m sorry but things are not the same between us anymore. I’m not sure whether it’s a good thing if we continue this relationship. I don’t want it to be an unrequited love.’
'No, Johnny. I am sorry. I’m sorry I can’t give you happiness in this relationship.’ You sighed deeply. 'I guess you’re right. We shouldn’t keep this any longer, especially when you’re not happy being with me.’
An utter silence accompanied both of you for a while.
'Anyway, you remember the party at Yeri’s next week? You don’t have to come with me if you’re uncomfortable.’
'A promise is a promise. I will keep my word to go with you.’

Johnny managed to tell the whole story to Taeyong and Mark, which unfortunately resulted in Johnny getting cornered and interrogated like he was the bad guy.

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“Johnny, what’s gotten into you?”

“I don’t know..” he mumbled in his tears.

“Just because she never initiates any physical affection doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. Just because she never hugs you back, or grips your hand back doesn’t mean she doesn’t share that mutual feelings. Lastly, just because she never says 'I love you’ first doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. Johnny, we all know she’s not that skinship person. On top of that, she can’t stand PDA. She deserves to be more appreciated for putting up with you and your overflowing affection in public.” Taeyong sighed. “And, damn, dude, your words surely matter.”

Mark had to agree with Taeyong as much as he wanted to console Johnny. “Right. She may not look like it but now she must be thinking it’s all her fault. She would take all the blame for how your relationship ended.”

—※

'I don’t want it to be an unrequited love.’
'I’m sorry I can’t give you happiness. We shouldn’t keep this any longer, especially when you’re not happy being with me.’

You were drown in your own thoughts and memories of the day you breaking up with Johnny after a 4 year relationship. Sometimes you wondered if physical affection is very essential in a relationship, let alone showing it in public. Even your friends were aware that you were not fond of doing intimate stuff in public, like hugging, kissing or even a quick peck. At first you were okay and somewhat tolerating Johnny since it was only hand holding and sometimes quick pecks, which he did it occassionally. But the more often he did, the more you hoped he would tone it down. That was when you started to drift away.

You admitted that you were not very good with words. That was why you didn’t say it directly to Johnny. Unfortunately things went wrong.

“Is this seat occupied?” A pretty boy showed up before your eyes, successfully distracting you from your own mind. His hands were full with hot coffee in one hand and a plate filled with chocolate brownie and almond croissant in his other hand.

You took initiative to pull the chair beside you, as a sign that he can sit there next to you. “Please,” you offered.

He flashed you a bright smile. “Thank you.”

You smiled back at him. You never thought you were going to talk with him again, so you went back to reading a book you just bought as you put on your airpods. Your concentration was distracted by a plate with a croissant on it that was slid towards you. You paused reading and turned to him.

“Can I help you?” you asked to the neighbor beside you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. But, if you’d like, please have some.” He referred to the croissant. “It’s a thank you gift, for helping with the chair,” he quickly gave answer when he noticed you looking confused.

“It’s okay. I’m good.” You bowed your head.

“Please, I insist.”

“No, really.”

“I promise I didn’t put anything weird,” he quickly explained himself. “I can’t finish this. It would be nice if we could share.”

“You don’t share food with a stranger you just met.” You raised an eyebrow.

He grinned sheepishly. “Then let’s be friends. My name is Jaehyun. You’re gonna find it weird, but I know you’re friends with Jeon Jungkook, and acquaintances with Kim Doyoung and Kang Seungyoon. Just who knows it will make me less suspicious.”

“Okay, that’s a lot of information already,” you said as you closed your book, still not buying the pretty boy’s words.

“I’m friends with Jungkook and Doyoung.”

“Then you know my name?”

“Is it weird if I do?” he shyly muttered. “It’s Song Yeoreum, is it?”

You nodded very slowly, still thinking that this guy was not that much trust-worthy.

“I remember you came with Jungkook some time ago. It’s easy to remember your name.” He showed you that shy smile again. “And you can translate the name into Summer Song, which is adorable.” He mumbled with the last words yet you still caught that.

“Can you give me a moment?” You quickly dialed Jungkook’s number to make sure this pretty man was not a creep. When he picked up, you can’t help but bombarding him with loud whispers about 'dude, what a weird friends you got and how did he find me here, is he a freak or something, are you playing a prank on me, or is he legit your friend and does he have any criminal records?’.

You immediately got back at Jaehyun and wore your sincere smile. “Hi, sorry, I have to make sure you’re not some kind of freak. I hope you don’t get me wrong.”

“It’s okay. You’re doing the right thing.”

“Anyway, yeah, I’m Yeoreum. Summer. You got it right.”