It was the first day for both of them. Minghao decided to get up extra early, feed and dress Yun, then get ready himself. He wanted to look neat and clean and put together when he arrived. He also did not want to start his first day off with porridge on his pants or toothpaste in his hair. It seemed like a foolproof plan.

In hindsight, it wasn’t such a good idea. Yun clearly hadn’t had enough sleep. He complained about his breakfast, whining for Nutella on toast instead of porridge and apple, wanting juice instead of milk. Minghao knew what the childcare staff would think of him if Yun proudly told them all about his propensity for a sugar-laden breakfast.

After arguing with him for longer than he intended he finally gave up and put him on the couch with a juice box. He dressed the boy in his clothes in the living area where the heating was better and as soon as he was done Yun squeezed the juice box making little yellow drops spray all over his t-shirt. Minghao sighed and held back his frustrations. He switched some cartoons on to keep Yun in one spot while he went and got another t-shirt.

He walked into the little boy’s room and blinked back tears as he found another one and just stood for a few minutes to gather his breath.

When he walked back out into the living area he found Yun seated next to a grinning Mingyu on the couch. Mingyu gestured to a takeaway coffee cup on the table and Minghao grabbed it gratefully before inhaling the rich soothing scent. “Why are you here?” he asked and Mingyu smiled. “Wouldn’t miss the first day!” “Thank you,” Minghao said with sincerity. He handed Mingyu the clean t-shirt to deal with Yun and went to take a very necessary shower.

“Yes!” Yun held tight to the stuffed cat he adored and Minghao shook his head. “No. What if he gets dirty or lost?” “I want to take him!” Yun stamped his feet and scowled and clutched the cat closer to his chest. “You can’t take the cat.” Minghao’s hands were on his hips as he faced off against his tiny son.

“Hey,” Mingyu moved between them and crouched down to the little boys level. “Yun, Daddy’s in a bad mood today because he’s scared of his first day at work. Maybe Mao Mao could go with him to his new job and keep him company. Then he’ll be safe from all the other children.” Yun stared at his daddy, then down at the toy cat in his arms, then back up at Minghao. “Okay, here Daddy…” he held his precious cat out and Minghao took it from him. “I’ll keep him safe for you. I promise.”

“So,” Minghao said when they were finally all seated in Mingyu’s car, “how was your date. I’m guessing it went well by the fact that I didn’t see you all weekend.” “Well……” Mingyu was practically glowing, “since you asked, it went very well. I took him to that Italian restaurant by the river, the one that’s always booked. Lucky for me I did a last minute commission for the owner’s daughter last year for an awards show. Wonwoo’s a picky eater so Italian was a good choice. He really enjoyed it and so did I. We had so much to talk about….”

A sick feeling swelled in Minghao’s stomach. He hadn’t eaten in a restaurant since Mingyu took him out for his birthday the year before; unless you counted McDonalds. Which he defiantly did not. He sat and listened to Mingyu wax on about candlelight and rich chocolatey desserts, walking by the river afterwards, a first kiss in the shadow of the fading cherry blossoms.

“So, then, of course we went back to my place. Minghao, oh my god, you wouldn’t believe how good he-“ Minghao’s hand clamped over his mouth and Mingyu choked a little before his eyes widened with the realisation Yun was on the backseat. “Oh, sorry….” He smirked, determined to finish his story.

“So, this guy, Wonwoo…” he smiled at Minghao with mischief in his eyes. “Well not only is he gorgeous and so smart but he’s very very good at…….. Colouring.” “So you already coloured together?” Minghao tried to hide the judgement in his voice but Mingyu’s enthusiasm wasn’t dampened. “Yeah, we sure did, now I’m a bit of an experienced colourer…”

Minghao wanted to interrupt and tell him that wasn’t a word but the man was on a roll. “But like, I’ve never coloured with a guy before, I mean I’ve done stuff, but like never….” His eyes took on a wistful gaze as he turned off the highway and onto a quiet street. “Well it was the best colouring ever. We coloured all weekend and, seriously, we used every colour in the box Minghao.”

“Don’t you think you’re rushing into things?” Minghao turned away to look out the window. He couldn’t meet Mingyu’s eyes because he knew exactly what he was going to say. “Hey, don’t judge me,” Mingyu’s voice rose a little higher than he expected. “Maybe it’s time you got out and found someone to colour with.”

“I can’t and you know that,” Minghao sulked. He hated arguing with Mingyu especially when he knew his best friend was right. “Why not? You know I’ll always help out with babysitting and Joshua and Seokmin are climbing the walls to play happy families. You can’t keep using him as an excuse.”

The last sentence was a whisper and Minghao couldn’t even deny it. “I’m not saying you need to go out and get all domestic with someone. But come on, you like colouring. Everyone likes colouring and you haven’t had anyone to colour in with for a long time.” “Just leave it please,” Minghao sniffed and Mingyu’s expression softened. “You’re allowed to have a life.” “I have a life and I’m happy the way it is. I don’t need anyone to colour with. I can colour just fine all by myself.”

They drove the rest of the way in silence.

“Yay!” Yun piped up from the backseat when he saw the high gates of the childcare centre. “I remember this place!” He kicked his legs while he waited for Mingyu to pull him from his car seat. The tall man hoisted him up onto his shoulders and Minghao grabbed his backpack and his nap mat and they made their way inside.

“Master Yun!” The man with the bright smile greeted them at the door when Mingyu put him on the ground. Minghao frowned, he hadn’t been introduced to him the other day, but he remembered the Director referring to him as Junhui. “Welcome! We are going to have a lot of fun today! Do you like to dance?” Yun’s eyes widened as Mingyu’s squinted in confusion and it took a few seconds for Minghao to realise the teacher was speaking to his son in Mandarin. “Daddy! This man knows our language!” Yun said brightly as he jumped up and down and pulled on Minghao’s hand. “Hi, I’m Wen Junhui, but just Jun is fine,” the man held his hand out and shook Minghao’s then Mingyu’s. “Mandarin is okay? I also know Cantonese if you would prefer.” “Mandarin is fine,” Minghao smiled at the man and he smiled back. “Korean for him,” his eyes indicated Mingyu and he watched a thousand expressions dance across Junhui’s features.

He was a little taller than Minghao but not as tall as Mingyu. He was unsettlingly good looking, his face balancing right on the precipice between handsome and beautiful, his eyes soft and kind and sparking with a discernible mischief. “Come on then A-Yun!” He held his hand out and the little boy took it willingly leaving Minghao and Mingyu to trail behind them.

They put his backpack on the designated hook, already decorated with his name surrounded by clouds, and Minghao wondered at the picture. Junhui, the only Chinese staff member, must have made this for his son. It was a nice way of welcoming him. There was something about the reference to his name’s meaning that touched Minghao deeply. It gave him a sense of being welcomed and valued. He hung the bag and stared a little too long at the blue nametag with white clouds surrounding the characters and when he looked up they were already dancing. Junhui was alive with expression, free and easy with his smiles, laughter whirling in his eyes at every single moment. It made Minghao feel uncomfortable. He couldn’t imagine being so free with his emotions and generous with his smiles. He found comfort in being selfish and guarded. It was safer this way. No one could get hurt.

“Imagine having to do this for a job,” Minghao whispered conceitedly to Mingyu as he watched the man and the little boy play. “Doesn’t seem so bad to me,” Mingyu replied as they watched the teacher doing what looked like an animal dance and Yun trying to follow along. “Is he supposed to be a cat?” Minghao’s expression was barely veiled ridicule as Mingyu poked him in the side. “Don’t be rude. Yun is enjoying it.” He was right. The little boy’s face was alight with joy as he laughed and followed along with the song about a cat with its childish mandarin lyrics.

“Daddy,” Yun was suddenly clutching his hand and jumping up and down. “Jun-ge taught me a song about Mao Mao! I should have brought him with me today!” He pulled Minghao’s arm and dragged him closer to the teacher who was waiting to take Yun outside. “Jun loves cats! He has a real one at home! I wanna see the real cat Daddy can we get one or can we go visit Jun-ge and see his real cat?”

“Yun, don’t speak so familiarly with the teacher,” Minghao blushed at his son’s directness but Junhui just grinned. “It’s fine, really, I like the children to be comfortable with me. Come on Yun,” Junhui reached out to take Yun’s hand. “Time to say goodbye to Daddy and we can make him a present while he’s at work.”

Minghao wasn’t quite ready but he knew it was time. “Bye bye. Have a good day.” He wrapped his arms around the little boy and held him a little too tight and a little too long. “Come on,” Mingyu put a hand on his shoulder and Minghao finally let go. “See you after Yun! Wanna go out for McDonalds tonight?” Minghao groaned but Yun jumped up and down. “Yes please!” Mingyu smirked knowing he’d won.

He put an arm around Minghao’s shoulders and led him gently towards the door. He was trying to be strong but it was still terrifying, saying goodbye and putting him in the hands of strangers, but he knew it had to be done. Minghao walked out and closed the door behind him and it took every single ounce of willpower not to look back.