“Cupcakes!” Yun’s legs were swinging as he perched on the edge of the bench. “Two kinds!Two colours two kinds one two one two.” He reached out for the bowl of icing, bright blue and sticky, and Minghao swung it away from his reach. “No way,” he said just as Junhui leaned forward and offered the other bowl within his reach. “Yummy!” Yun stuck his finger into the bright green icing and Junhui laughed as he stuffed his mouth full of the sugary concoction. “Jun,” Minghao tried to narrow his eyes and glare at Junhui but he just couldn’t do it. Not here, in this beautiful big kitchen, all gleaming white and filled with the sounds of joy and laughter and the scent of vanilla in the air. 

He just couldn’t bring himself to even pretend to be annoyed. Yun was so happy. He was happy too, the contrast with Yun’s last birthday so stark in his mind, the memory of just him and Mingyu and a store-bought cake lingering with a hint of regret.

It was all he could do at the time and it was enough. But now he wanted more and he was ready to reach out and grab it. He wanted more than just good enough, more than sufficient, he wanted happiness and excitement and fun. He wanted this new life he had managed to create and build up around himself and Yun. It hadn’t even taken long, the last few months like a whirlwind, and it was mostly due to Junhui. He could be proud of himself though - if he hadn’t gone after the gallery job and taken that frighteningly big first step none of this would have happened.

He felt unusually soft watching his little son exuberant with joy written all over his face. His mother’s eyes were the only legacy she left him but Minghao had never seen hers sparkle with this much happiness. He stirred the blue icing again and began to spoon it out onto the tray of vanilla cupcakes on the bench in front of him. Junhui had baked them, of course, but icing them gave Minghao a sense of accomplishment. He felt proud of this birthday party already; it was something he’d always wanted his son to have and he knew that going forward in life Yun was going to get a lot more of the things he needed, wanted and deserved.

Cupcakes and a bouncy castle seemed inconsequential in the grand scheme of Yun’s life but it was time to start making memories.

The doorbell rang and Yun squealed. “Bouncy house!” he yelled as he leaped from the bench and onto the floor. He hit the ground with a thump and Minghao winced but Yun just grabbed Junhui’s hand and pulled at his arm. “I know little stormcloud, just hang on…” Junhui took off the apron he was wearing over his t-shirt and jeans and wiped his hands on a clean towel. “Think you can handle this on your own?” His voice ghosted across Minghao’s ear on the way past and Minghao shivered at the breath caressing his ear. He nodded and tried not to look too dreamy as Junhui pressed a quick kiss to his cheek as he walked past him and out of the kitchen.

Minghao quickly spread icing on top of the remaining cakes on his tray and moved over to the other side where Junhui had left his own bowl lying forgotten on the bench. He picked up the blue and quickly worked to cover the other cakes and sprinkled them with little dinosaur shaped edible confetti’s Junhui had managed to find somewhere. He was just so good at all of this. He was made for family life, a father already without a child, just waiting for the pieces to fall in around him. 

Minghao gripped the bench as emotions overwhelmed him. It had seemed so fast but he was suddenly afraid he was moving too slow and was going to be left behind. He knew Junhui was holding back a little, scared to push too hard and too far, and a little while ago Minghao would have been grateful for this. He wasn’t that person anymore. Now he craved it, desperately wanted to feel like this was forever, like they were building a life and a home and a family that was stable and permanent and forever. Minghao suddenly wanted forever more than anything else.

How long have I been in love with him?

The realisation hit him hard as he packed the cupcakes away into neatly stackable containers and slid them into the refrigerator. When was that moment? Was it their first date, dancing under dim streetlights without music, Minghao dressed so self conscious and defensive in his old grey cardigan? Was it the day they went to the Bubblegum Funk concert and Junhui gave so much of himself unselfishly to make sure they had a good time?

Was it longer? Was it when he took Minghao by the hand and drew him into a dance, a duo barely days in the making, a first step towards synchronicity? Was it the night he lay in bed and watched endless hours of Junhui dancing on video, his limbs so graceful and lithe, his face a myriad of expression and emotion?

Minghao didn’t know. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment when he fell in love. He didn’t even know why it people used that term; falling in love. 

Falling implied a sudden shift, a tipping point where the world changed its orbit and swung on its axis, a feeling of control slipping and dropping away. Falling in love with Junhui was more like swimming; edging closer to the water’s edge, dipping a toe and then a whole foot, and then before you knew it you were floating, surrounded and all consumed, sometimes on the edge of drowning but effortless and beautiful when you relaxed.

Minghao was suddenly swimming in love. It was all around him, in the vanilla in the air and the sound of Yun far off in the distance chatting excitedly, the comfort of knowing all this was his and would be for as long as he wanted it. He wanted forever and knowing this, finally realising it, made him feel invincible. With Junhui and Yun by his side he could do anything.

He washed the bowls in the sink and dried them before heading down the long corridor to the front of the house. Yun was still talking a million words a minute and he knew he had to go and rescue Junhui a little; even though he was the one who let Yun eat the icing from the bowl. The sugar rush was all Junhui’s fault and it really should be his burden to bear.

He found Junhui in the yard with the side gates open. A man was busily staking a bouncy castle into the grass of the back yard while another pushed a slushy machine cart over by the house. Yun was seated on Junhui’s shoulders, hands in his hair, and chatter streaming constantly from his mouth. Junhui had the patience of a saint as he nodded and wandered around so Yun could see everything that was happening from the perfect vantage point without getting in the way.

“Junhui,” Minghao said as a third man walked over from a van parked out the front with a big helium container. “What?” he blinked so innocently as the man began inflating helium balloons and setting up a balloon arch under the back patio. “Bouncy castle, slushy machines and a balloon arch?” 

He tried again to glare but the joy on Yun’s face was making it so hard to keep up the facade and Junhui just shrugged. “You paid for all the food and they gave me a good package deal.” Minghao let it go, not even bothering to argue, he knew it was time to let Junhui in properly and completely without reservation.

Minghao just moved closer and put his arm around him, nestling his hand into the small of his back, as they watched the men stake the castle into the ground. They gave Junhui instructions on how to run it and safety precautions and then they were gone and the sun was going down on Yun’s last day of being a three year old. “Time to get some dinner organised,” Junhui lifted Yun from his shoulders and the little boy ran ahead up the stairs and into the open front door. “Let’s just order in some takeaway,” Minghao smiled. “I don’t want to have to clean the kitchen again.”

The lights had been dimmed and the living room was cosy. Junhui had an incredible modular corner couch with recliners and a chaise lounge which Yun thought was his. He was stretched out watching his favourite show on tv coming down from his sugar high while Minghao and Junhui curled up in the corner silently enjoying the peace. Junhui was tapping at his phone and Minghao was silently mulling over his latest art piece, wondering if he should incorporate some green tones, when the doorbell rang again. “Noodles!” Yun jumped up from the couch, interest in his show disregarded over the prospect of food, and Junhui got up too. “Stay here,” he said to Minghao, pressing a kiss to his forehead but Minghao got up too. He wanted to pay for the dinner and he grabbed his wallet off the hall stand as he followed them to the door.

Junhui threw the door open and Yun rushed forward past him, excitedly expectant for his dinner, but slinking back a little at the stranger on the doorstep. Big dark eyes, an exact replica of his own, stared down at the little boy who was reaching back for the security of Junhui’s hand.

“Yun?” the woman asked and Yun stared at her.

“Yumei?” Minghao pushed past Junhui and into the doorway. “What the ?”

“Daddy?” Yun said, voice suddenly small, scared of the intensity surrounding the adults.

“Yun? Yun, come here baby, its me. Your Mama.” She crouched down with her arms out and Yun shrank back even further. He clung to Junhui’s hand and grabbed his arm with the other and Junhui looked from the woman in the doorway over to Minghao. “Yun,” Minghao said softly, “Junhui’s going to take you back into the living room. Okay?

“Minghao-“ she stammered but he cut her off. “Please Jun?’ his eyes pleaded and Junhui picked Yun up and clutched him close to his chest. “Come on little stormcloud. Let’s let these adults talk a little without us.”

“Why?’ he stared at her and she shrank a little. “What do you mean why? He’s my son Minghao. Its his birthday tomorrow. I would never forget.” “You forgot last year. You didn’t even send a card.” “I did,” tears began to brim in her beautiful big almond eyes and their resemblance to Yun’s made Minghao feel sick. He didn’t want her to cry but he couldn’t help the anger and resentment bubbling up inside him.

“I did remember and I did send a card but it was returned to sender. You moved.”

He did move between Yun’s second and third birthday. He’d had a rough spot with sales of his paintings and Yun had been having trouble sleeping which meant Minghao wasn’t sleeping either. He’d run out of savings that year and had to move due to not being able to afford the rent and not willing to take any help from Mingyu who’s business was just taking off.

“So how did you find me then?” Minghao narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “I searched on the internet and found a picture of you at the gallery you work at from a news story. It had the gallery name and I came here and followed you home from there.” “This isn’t even my home. I can’t believe you just showed up here like this..” Minghao felt his grasp on the situation slip a little as he ran hands through his hair and a sudden realisation dawned on him, dark and twisted, sickening his stomach with cold dark fear. 

“You can’t take him. I swear to god, Yumei, you cannot take him from me I won’t let you.” He glared again and she shrank back a little further but she shook her head. “I know. I can’t take him anyway even if I wanted to. I’ve been offered a role in an ongoing drama. It’s a big break for me but this was my only chance to try and see him before I start filming. I’m going to be really busy but I just wanted a chance to maybe see him for his birthday. Please.”

She sniffed a little and a part of Minghao felt heartbreakingly sad for her and an overwhelming relief that she wasn’t here to take his son. Their son. He could never let that happen. He would never ever let him go. Another part of him felt just as angry as ever; her priority was still her career over their son and that was never going to change.

“Can I at least come in for a little while?” she looked around behind her. The sun was dropping rapidly now and night was threatening the edges of the sky. Orange and pink were being fast defeated by shades of black and grey and violet and a cold wind was starting to whip up around them. “I told you it’s not my house,” Minghao said but the venom had been drained from his voice by relief and a little indignant pride. “It’s Junhui’s house.”

“I didn’t realise,” she said and stared at the ground. When she looked up Minghao’s heart broke for her. It was only then that he saw the dark circles under her heavy eyes and the red rims around them. He’d spent so much of the last three years of his life angry, consumed by fear and resentment, and he wasn’t about to become that person again. Not when he’d worked so hard and become so brave. Not when happiness was the dominating energy in his life and anger was all but forgotten.

“Come in,” he said as he stepped aside in the doorway and she walked tentatively towards him.

“That’s beautiful,” she said when she saw the huge canvas dominating the room. Her eyes seemed a little wistful as they wandered across the colours, gold and pink and beautiful soft peaches decorated with Yun’s childish scrawls. “He definitely takes after you.” “He does.” 

Minghao didn’t know how to just be in the same space as her without emotions tumbling over each other threatening to escape. How had he once thought he loved her so much when now he knew what real love was like; an endless ebb and flow of give and take. A partnership. True love was a collaboration. He was always grateful to her though. He wouldn’t change things for anything. His life had somehow grown into something beautiful and wonderful and filled with magic and laughter and happiness.

“Daddy!” Yun held his arms out when he and Junhui appeared in the hallway. “I’m going to go and wait for the food. You are welcome to stay if you like.” Junhui’s easy control over the most difficult situations was never more welcome. He disappeared out the front door when Minghao took Yun from his arms leaving the three of them alone to walk into the living room. Yumei looked around at the stunning furniture and the gleaming paintwork scattered with toys and soft blankets and a few of Yun’s books open on the coffee table. She sat perched precariously on the edge of the couch and Minghao sat on the opposite side with Yun on his lap.

“Yun,” Minghao said carefully, “this is Miss Yumei. She’s your mother. Do you remember her?” Yun stared and stuck a finger in his mouth as he thought carefully. “No. You don’t look like a Mama.” He slid from Minghao’s lap and walked over to her. “You’re pretty. Do you like dancing?” “No darling,” she said softly, her breath seemingly scarce as if she was afraid to scare him away. “I’m not nearly as good at dancing as your Daddy is.” “Daddy is a good dancer,” Yun seemed pleased with that deduction, “but not as good as Junnie. Junnie is the prettiest dancer ever and he has two cats. Their names are Mittens and Socks and they’re hiding.”

“Is Junnie Daddy’s friend?” Yumei looked around still trying to make sense of the situation and where all the pieces fell into place but Yun just laughed loudly and ran back to Minghao’s lap. “No, silly, Junnie isn’t a Mama because he’s not a girl but he does all the Mama things. He can dance and sing and cooks really yummy food and when he kisses Daddy he smiles like this.” Yun closed his eyes and did his best impersonation of Minghao’s dreamiest smile and he had to laugh out loud. “Is that really what I look like?” he chuckled and Yun pressed his hands to Minghao’s cheeks. “Junnie makes Daddy really happy. He doesn’t cry any more or drink wine. Only sometimes now.” He slipped back off Minghao’s lap to grab Yumei by the hand. “Do you want to see my room?”

Her eyes flashed with hope and Minghao nodded. “Go on,” he forced a smile. “Mittens is probably on your bed again.” They headed down the hallway just as Junhui walked back in with two plastic bags swinging from his hands.

Silence hung between them, heavy and potent, pushing things to the surface that had been long buried. Junhui didn’t speak, he didn’t have to, he just put the bags down on the coffee table and pulled Minghao into his arms. He the back of his head and held him as Minghao steadied his breath and used the quiet affection to ground himself.

“It’s going to be fine,” Junhui whispered. “She’s not going to take him. It will be fine.” “I know,” Minghao let the selfishness slip out in a sharp barb. “She doesn’t even want to. She’s still too busy to be his mother.” “Hao,” Junhui leaned back to look into Minghao’s eyes. “Just let her give whatever she can give. We’ll always be able to fill in the gaps for him. Okay?” “Okay.” Minghao closed his eyes again and leaned forward to rest his forehead in the soft space where Junhui’s shoulder joined his neck and listened to the sound of Yun’s chatter leaking from the bedroom.

“Come and eat,” Junhui stood in the doorway of Yun’s room as Minghao got plates out of the cupboard. Yun was in the middle of the bed with Mittens while Yumei stood a little awkwardly in the middle of the room. Her heels were sky high but she still seemed small compared to Junhui’s 6ft height. Her hair was long and dark and she was exceptionally pretty but Junhui had expected that. 

Nothing about her was any different to how he pictured her in his mind. Her clothes were all designer, obviously expensive, and the petty part of Junhui wanted to scowl at her for her vapid selfishness. She could wear Gucci while Minghao was wearing paint stained shoes and the same old ratty cardigan to put food in their son’s mouth. She may be exceptionally pretty in her designer outfit but no one was more beautiful to Junhui than Minghao in his old grey cardigan with paint spatters in his hair. That was true beauty and he was grateful he was able to see it and value it.

Junhui could see her weighing him up, trying to decipher the secrets they were keeping, and still finding no clue. Yun jumped from the bed and slipped his hand into Junhui’s and blinked up at him looking for guidance. “Come on little stormcloud,” he ruffled his hair with his free hand. “Aren’t you hungry?” Yun nodded and Junhui beckoned Yumei to follow them. “There’s plenty of food,” he said gently, in that calm way he’d practiced so often with the children he cared for, and she was led easily to follow them back into the living room.

“None for Daddy!” Yun said proudly as he let Junhui dish spicy Szechuan beef onto his plate. “Junnie likes spicy and I like spicy but Daddy can’t eat spicy it makes him do this-“ Yun mimed Minghao wiping furiously at his tongue and then fanning it like it was on fire. “Hey!” Minghao pushed at him jokingly, “I’m not that bad!” “Really?” Junhui smirked at him, incredulous and eyes filled with mischief, and Minghao laughed again. “Okay okay, maybe I am that bad.” “Do you like spicy Miss Yumei?” Yun asked and her eyes filled with tears before she blinked them back. “I do,” she held her plate out to him and Yun put a few slices of beef onto her rice with his chopsticks.

After eating slowly and cleaning up even slower it was getting late. Yun’s eyes were drooping as he lazed on Junhui’s lap and Minghao offered tea and coffee to which Yumei shook her head. “I’ve already taken up enough of your time. I’ve got a gift for him in the car, would it be okay if I give it to him before I leave?” Minghao looked from the little boy nestled in Junhui’s lap to the man holding him lovingly like he was the most precious thing in the world and over to the woman who’d caused him more pain than he ever imagined he could experience. He looked at the little family he was building and took a deep breath before digging deep into the depths of his heart and finally pulling apart the last thread.

“We’re having a birthday party for him tomorrow. It would be nice if you came.”

Her eyes lit up in a way that Minghao barely remembered. “Really?” she asked and Minghao nodded as Junhui smiled small and gentle at him. “Yeah, its here, at 12pm.” “My flight doesn’t leave until 6,” she said. “I’ll be here.”

Minghao walked her to the door and held it open. “Thank you,” she said. “I do really appreciate it.” “I know,” he said before closing the door behind him and taking a deep cleansing breath. It felt like he was closing the door on his own trauma, no longer locking it away or burying it deep, finally letting it go.

“Why did she come here?” Yun asked sleepily as Minghao tucked him into the thick fluffy quilt spread out over his new bed. “She wanted to see you for your birthday.” He Yun’s hair back from his forehead and made a mental note to book him in for a haircut. His curls were getting a little too long. “But why?” 

Yun yawned and reached for a stuffed dinosaur and wrapped his arms around it. Minghao didn’t know how to answer him. He couldn’t explain why Yumei decided to come all this way, why she couldn’t quite hold on or decide to let go, why she couldn’t stay or why she wouldn’t leave.

“I don’t know baby,” he leaned over and kissed him on the forehead where he’d been carefully dragging the curls away from Yun’s eyes. He watched the little boy smile sleepily and close his eyes before he opened them again. “Do I have to call her Mama?” he asked and Minghao shook his head. “No, you can call her Yumei.” He wasn’t going to tell the little boy he had to give her a place in his life he wasn’t ready for. That place would have to be earned and he wasn’t sure she was ever going to earn it.

That seemed somehow to be enough as the little boy snuggled even deeper into his soft bedding. “Goodnight Daddy love you Daddy,” he said quietly before sitting up a little and looking over to the doorway. “Love you too baby,” Minghao whispered before moving to make space on the bed for Junhui who was lingering and Yun was clearly looking for.

“Goodnight little stormcloud,” Junhui leaned over him and kissed him in the space on his forehead Minghao had made. “Goodnight Junnie, love you Junnie,” Yun reached up and Junhui leaned down to let him wrap his tiny arms around Junhui’s neck. “I love you too,” he said and tears pricked at Minghao’s eyes. He felt warm all over, heart swelling with the feeling of being allowed to witness such a tender moment, tinted with just a hint of jealousy. In his typical open way so indicative of his warm personality, and the innocence of a child’s heart, Yun had been able to tell Junhui he loved him before Minghao did.

He craved it. He wanted it so much, to hear ‘I love you’ and to be able to say it back, and he was filled with awe over how Yun had so easily shown him what he wanted. It wasn’t too fast and it wasn’t too much. It was just right for them and so it was perfect.

As they lay under cool cotton sheets he realised there was something else he needed to hear.

“I’m so proud of you,” Junhui said as he trailed a finger down the centre of Minghao’s bare chest. Minghao shivered both at the physical sensation and the mental feeling and couldn’t tell where one began and the other ended. “Thank you,” he said softly before pulling in a breath as deep as he could and exhaling slowly. He leaned over Junhui to kiss him, arms caging him in, skin on skin as their bare chests pressed close and their lips moved slowly against each other. It was moments like this, and warm with no secrets between them, that Minghao truly felt like himself again.

“I’m in love with you,” he said with his voice trembling slightly but a strength he never knew he had. “Junhui I love you. I’m sorry if it’s too much or too fast or too-“ “Hao,” Junhui reached over and put his hand across Minghao’s lips. “Stop. Don’t ruin it!” he laughed wide and bright, his smile somehow sparkling even in the dark. “I love you too. It’s not too fast or too much. I’m sick of trying to put the brakes on this when I just want to enjoy the ride.” Minghao leaned over and kissed him again and then buried his face in the warm skin of Junhui’s bare chest. He was tired of it too. He wanted all of this and more and faster, busier, better and stronger. He was ready for it.

The curtains blew as a cool breeze seeped in from outside and the sound of a few spatters on the glass heralded the start of a midsummer storm. They blew over sometimes at this time of year, scattering the night with drops of moonlight, gone by morning. Hopefully this one was too. Minghao didn’t want a storm to ruin the birthday party but in the end it was out of his control. If it rained it rained and if it poured then they would all move inside. You couldn’t control the weather any more than you could control the nature of the human heart which was just as turbulent but no less wild and stunning.

Sometimes you just had to breathe in the petrichor and prepare to dance in the rain.

The end

Epilogue

“I’m not standing near her. No way.” Mingyu’s arms were crossed and he was wearing a scowl Minghao hadn’t seen for a long time. “You can’t make me be nice to her.”

“Mingyu,” Minghao said slowly and carefully, “this isn’t about me or her or you. Its about Yun so can you please just be civil. It’s one day and then she’s going back to China and we probably won’t see her for another year.” 

He knew exactly where his friend was coming from. No one but Mingyu had seen him at the lowest depths after Yumei left them. He was the one who helped drag him up when no one else would, the one who would come and walk around with Yun crying in his arms so Minghao could take a shower, the one who literally put food on their table when money was tight. He had a right to be angry but now wasn’t the time or the place.

“I haven’t forgiven her Mingyu and I haven’t forgotten. I’m just tired of being sad and angry and bitter and I’m happy for once. I want to stay happy.”

“He’s okay with this?” Mingyu watched Junhui moving around the long table set up in the backyard. It was covered with a plastic tablecloth flapping in the gentle breeze that was keeping the heat at bay. The grass was barely damp, the night’s previous storm having blown over well before dawn, and the sun was shining over the party preparations. Yun was darting around his feet excitedly, trying to help set out cupcakes and jelly cups and plates of sandwiches as Junhui just dodged him artfully and continued his task without missing a beat. “He’s a little confused but, honestly, the party is a good distraction. It’s better this way.”

Yumei was sitting off to the side on a garden chair looking a little out of place. Her black dress and high heels weren’t the most practical and Minghao had stifled a giggle when he saw her sinking deep into the damp grass. It was take the shoes off or take a seat and she’d chosen the latter option which had effectively rendered her unable to move. She was watching intently, a little wistfully from behind her huge Gucci sunglasses, as Yun circled Junhui chattering non-stop.

She’d gifted him a teddy bear which he’d eyed with a medium level of enthusiasm. It was good quality and very cute but Yun’s tastes were moving on to the more exciting; dinosaurs and things with wheels and anything he could use to create. He’d held it long enough to seem polite before placing it carefully on his bed and leaving it behind in search of more interesting things. Mingyu and Wonwoo had gifted him a handmade easel, child sized and paired with a set of real watercolour paints, and that had piqued his interest.

“He likes your present better than hers,” Minghao smirked at Mingyu and watched his scowl turn into a petulant pout. “Good,” he frowned and turned to Wonwoo. “Let’s go help with the food.”

Minghao watched Mingyu lift Yun onto his shoulders as Wonwoo began to help Junhui set out paper cups and jugs of juice and spoons for the jellies. He watched on as Junhui went back inside and returned with a tall glass of water clinking with ice cubes and offered it to Yumei before helping her move the chair out of the sun and into a patch of shade by the back patio. 

He watched on as she leaned in close and said something to Junhui which made him nod and smile. She seemed more at ease then, her expression smoothing out into something more comfortable and relaxed, and Minghao marvelled at how well Junhui did it. He just had this natural magical way of making everything better and Minghao was suddenly grateful to Yumei. He had this wonderful life both because of her and in spite of her and he wouldn’t change it. Not for anything.

Children arrived, Yun bounced in the bouncy castle, there was pass the parcel and a bubble machine and endless shrieks of joy. The children ate and the adults made sure everything went according to plan and no one fought and everyone had fun. At the end Minghao went into the house and came back out with a big two-tier cake, blue and green, decorated all over with chocolates and marshmallows and sprinkles. He stood one side of Yun and Junhui stood the other side while everyone sang happy birthday and Mingyu took a hundred photos capturing the fun. The smiles were real and the colours of the icing were smeared across Yun’s face and Minghao couldn’t believe it was all real. He wanted to capture this feeling forever.

“Take one of just us,” he grabbed Junhui by the waist and pulled him closer. Yun was clinging to him, perched on his hip, and Minghao wasn’t going to be able to carry him like this much longer. He was getting too big. He had one arm around Minghao’s shoulders and when he came into reach he clung to Junhui with the other. Mingyu took the photos and handed the camera to Wonwoo so he could switch out with Junhui and be in a photo too. Minghao handed Yun over to Mingyu and took his turn at the camera so Yun could take a photo with his favourite uncles and Minghao looked around for Yumei. He beckoned her over and she got up tentatively but he held out a hand to steady her as she moved in closer.

“Smile,” Mingyu said when he picked up the camera again and they smiled for the photo. Minghao never knew this was where they were headed but he was glad they were here. She was going to leave again but this time Yun would have something tangible, a link to a part of him that would always be there, and Junhui was right. Whatever Yumei could give him now and into the future would be enough because both he and Minghao would always be able to fill in the gaps for him.

When he smiled at the camera his smile was real.

“What did she say to you when you helped her move the chair?”

The party was long over and packed away, Mingyu and Wonwoo gone home after helping, Yumei already left for the airport. Yun was in his room busy with his presents and Minghao and Junhui were collapsed on the couch enjoying the quiet. They didn’t even have the tv on. Minghao had been dying to know what transpired between the two of them and what made Yumei seem so at ease and he couldn’t resist asking.

“She told me she named him.” Junhui said carefully. “That the night she found she was pregnant there was a terrible storm and the next morning the sky was filled with fluffy white clouds.” Minghao nodded. He remembered that night, the way he held her while she sobbed, inconsolable.

“She said hearing me call him little stormcloud made her happy; that both you and Yun had someone who loved you and would take care of you. She said I was deserving of taking the place she couldn’t fill. She said she was happy you weren’t alone.”

“I’ll take care of you too,” Minghao murmured as he leaned his head down on Junhui’s shoulder, “always.”

 He closed his eyes and listened to the wind whipping up again and the sound of tiny taps on the glass windows facing east. The air felt fresh and clear, like a cleansing, and he smiled as he snuggled closer to Junhui’s warmth. 

It was raining again.