December 2018 pt.2

 

After what felt like an eternity, we finally arrived at our hometown. Thankfully, we didn’t live too far from each other, so Jeno was first to be dropped off, either because his house was the furthest, or because Jaemin couldn’t stand him whining throughout the ride anymore. Hyunjin was next, and it took some effort since she was always hard to wake up. After bidding them goodbye, it was my turn to be dropped off.

 

On our way to my home, I noticed that we were coming near to a familiar spot from when we were kids. It was the park we used to play in, with the old swing set on the playground, but then outgrew. As we came closer, I felt a bit nostalgic seeing the green of the seats peek through from under the snow, so I pointed it out to him.

 

“Hey, remember? We used to go to this park all the time,” I said as we drove past it.

 

“Yeah,” he said, smiling like he remembered, but keeping his eyes on the road. “You always made me push you on the swing.”

 

“But you never complained because you were so gullible,” I said with a smile that mirrored his. Then I joked, “And you know what, I feel like you actually liked doing it for me anyway.”

 

Jaemin suddenly pulled the brake, throwing me forward, almost hitting the dashboard if not for my seatbelt. I shot him a dirty look.

 

“Oops, pothole,” he said, but I knew he did that on purpose.

 

“Na Jaemin, you better get me home in one piece.”

 

“Yes ma’am,” Jaemin answered with a hint of laughter.

 

We were mostly quiet for the rest of the ride home, so I focused on the songs playing through the speakers for a while. It was Jaemin’s playlist of generic pop songs, which he defended by saying it was for him to stay awake and alert as he drove.

 

Somewhere along the way, Jaemin started humming and singing along. In the past it would have annoyed me and I’d tell him to keep it down so I could hear the song, but I found that I didn’t mind that time, as I listened intently to his deep voice.

 

It was nice, and it was soothing, but the strange feeling was creeping into my heart again, making me uneasy. It wasn’t an awful feeling, to be honest, but still, I never used to feel this anxious whenever I was with him. It was a tingling feeling from within my chest.

 

Jaemin finally pulled up in front of my house, and we both stepped out and to get my luggage from the back, even though it wasn’t that much. I tried to complain, but he’d insisted he would help, and I couldn’t say no, the sensation within my chest starting to do flips at the simple, kind gesture.

 

When my mother greeted him and I at the door, she pulled him into a hug before even acknowleging me. She invited him in, but he said he couldn’t stay for too long as he needed to get home soon, and made to leave.

 

“Hey, thanks for driving us!” I called out to him through my front door.

 

“Nah, it was a fun little trip.” 

 

“Stay safe, don’t forget to say hi from me to everyone.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Alright,” I said, then I watched him drive away.

 

I unpacked my luggage, and then crashed onto my old bed immediately after I was done. It felt nice, since the sheets and pillows in my apartment weren’t as plush, and it only took me a couple of minutes after closing my eyes to fall into a deep sleep, especially with how tiring the hours-long trip home was.

 

I woke up to my mom telling me it was already dinner time. Dad wasn’t home, but he called saying he’d make sure he would be before Christmas. Since I was little I knew how busy he could get, but it was fine. And because I’d come home after not seeing him in months, I needed to spend with him all of that time lost.

 

“How’s the food?” my mom asked as I was eating.

 

“Just as good as I remembered,” I replied with a thumbs up, mouth still full. “I missed it a lot.”

 

My phone vibrated on the table, and I looked over to see from whom the text was, and of course it was from Jaemin. 

 

“Mom, can I go out with Jaemin after dinner? He’ll come over to pick me up in a bit,” I asked.

 

“It’s fine, just don’t stay out too late,” mom said. “And make sure to wear a thick coat, it’s a bit cold right now.”

 

I finished my dinner before running upstairs to get my coat, as Jaemin was on his way. After 10 minutes, he called to tell me he was already there, and then I flew out the door.

 

“Yikes, why did we wear the same color?” he complained as he saw me wearing my long maroon coat.

 

“Uh, why did you copy me?” I joked.

 

“As if. Get in the car”

 

“But where are we going?” I asked.

 

“Still not sure, I was bored at home.” He had his eyes on the road, driving with no actual destination in mind.

 

“What, you just got home and you’re itching to go out already?”

 

“It’s no fun in there.”

 

“Oh, don’t say that. I’m sure your family missed you a lot.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Jaemin responded coldly, so I guessed things weren’t looking so good back at his house. No wonder he wanted to go out. I decided the best way to help him was to cheer him up for tonight.

 

“We spent four hours in this car just this morning, yet you already miss it this much…” I said, joking. “Hot chocolate?” I suggested.

 

“Where though?” Jaemin asked, we hummed for a bit trying to think of a place we could go to but then we drove by the town square decorated with christmas tree and lights, making the place prettier than it usually was.

 

“Oh, we can stop here for a bit. They usually have food stalls during the holiday,” I suggested, then he pulled up to park by the side of the road.

 

I stepped out, walking slowly as I admired the lights, then Jaemin suddenly grabbed me by the wrist, surprising me.

 

“They’re about to close,” he said, leading me towards one of the last food stalls. It was hard to keep up with his long steps, and my heart was beating wildly by the end of our short journey. His hand was still holding onto me, and thankfully, we made it just in time to get ourselves some hot chocolate.

 

“Can we have two hot chocolates and two waffle please?” Jaemin said to the stall owner.

 

“Make it one waffle,” I quickly said. “We can share, I’m not too hungry.”

 

The owner went to prepare our order and started making small talk. “Date night?” he asked from behind the counter. 

 

“Oh, no, we’re not dating,” I quickly explained, then I realized my hand was still on Jaemin’s. I quickly pulled my hand away.

 

“Here you go,” the owner said as Jaemin paid for the both of us, to my chagrin.

 

We looked around to find a seat before we settled by a bench near an outdoor heater. There was an ice skating rink in front of us and although it was a bit late, some people were still there.

 

“Look at these people, dating and stuff,” I joked while taking a sip from my hot chocolate, remembering what the store owner had said earlier, echoing in my mind.

 

“So bitter,” Jaemin said. He took a bite from the waffle then offered it to me.

 

“I’m not,” I said as I took a bite anyway.

 

“Well you’re in college right now, surely there are a lot of potential date if you want to,” he said nonchalantly. 

 

“I barely talk to people,” I rolled my eyes. “How about you? See anyone you like?”

 

“Me? Nah,” he said as he laughed.

 

“Ugh, both of us will be so single.” 

 

“It’s not so bad, I mean moments like this are enough for me,” he said, and then I looked at him, heart skipping a beat, surprised at what he could possibly mean by that. 

 

“Huh? Like what?” I stuttered.

 

“I mean spending time with your friends, just like this. You don’t really need girlfriends or boyfriends to be able to enjoy your time,” he said, thankfully missing the nervous shake in my voice. “Wanna walk while drinking?”

 

“Sure… While we’re here, do you want to go to the park? I mean it’ll be dark soon, but it’s walkable from here, right?” I said. Jaemin thought about it for a second before following me. 

 

As we got nearer, with me leading the way, the wind suddenly blew and the air felt like it pierced through my cheeks. I checked the temperature on my phone only to see a negative temperature shown on the screen.

 

“Why is it so cold here? It wasn’t as cold in the town square,” I crossed my arms trying to keep myself warm as I walked.

 

“Well, the lack of heaters could be one of the reasons why,” he teased, sticking out his tongue at me. “Besides, you were the one who suggested that we go here,” he said as he fell into step beside me, seemingly unbothered by how cold it was. 

 

The seat of the swings was partially covered by light snow which Jaemin brushed off with his bare hand. I tried telling him it was a mistake to come here and we should go somewhere else, but he disagreed. Instead, he told me to sit on the swing so he can push, just like he did when we were young.

 

“But the air… It’ll feel colder,” I complained yet still did what he told me to do.

 

“You wanted to go to the park so bad,” he said as he slowly pushed me to move. The air did feel cold, and only got colder as the pace of the swing went faster. Jaemin laughed as I complained, and he refused to stop until I told him I would actually jump off. 

 

“Aw, Jinnie is cold?” he said in that fake cutesy voice just to annoy me.

 

“It’s freezing, Jaemin. Here, feel my hands,” I said as I placed my cold hands right on his cheeks, like a revenge for what he did to me earlier in the day.

 

He just laughed in response, before suddenly pulling my hands away to hug me instead. Seeing that I didn’t respond, he brought both of my hands to the inside of his coat to make me hug him back.

 

“What?” I said in shock.

 

“You’re actually freezing,” he answered.

 

It was normal to hug Jaemin by now, with all that time growing up together. But I was  speechless, looking up to his face, seeing his gaze up in the sky.

 

There were snowflakes caught on his eyelashes, and in true Jaemin fashion, he wasn’t shivering in this weather at all. In fact, his body felt warm, and he was really nice to hold onto. Before I knew it, my arms tightened around his form and I’d brought myself even closer than I already was.

 

As I examined his face even more, my heart started beating a little bit faster than it normally would. I immediately looked back down, not wanting him to know that I was staring. 

 

How did I suddenly get so nervous around my best friend? Then suddenly, I came to the realization and my heartbeat went even faster. 

 

That couldn’t be, right?

 

I’d known Jaemin basically all my life. I knew him inside and out, as my best friend. And suddenly these new feelings arise… I couldn’t believe it.

 

My brain refused to accept, but my heart was yelling at me that yes, that’s exactly it!

 

And the fairy-tales I loved growing up did always tell me to follow my heart.