Sat on the bed... I look at the container that I held while wondering how long do I have to depend on this colourful yet bitter candies.

"Friday... Saturday... Sunday, three more left, the white one is about to run out, I have to make an appointment with Yujin's father next week."

After that scary night, I called Yujin immediately, ask her help and she accompanied me to visit her father in the hospital. Her father is a psychiatrist, he's the one who treated me, I told him everything that happened and how many times that happened before. After some medical checks, he came to a conclusion and diagnosed that I suffer from panic disorder, he also presumes the trigger was that nightmare I had.

I got prescribed 3 kinds of meds. The white pills for daily consumption, blue if I have trouble sleeping and the purple if the panic attack recurs.

And he also suggested that I should have someone accompanied me at home, just in case, if the panic attack recurs I will get help right away. Since then Hyewon, Minjoo and Yujin take turns staying at my house. I felt grateful and also apologetic for being such a hassle to them, but Hyewon always flicks my forehead every time I brought that up, to knock some sense back to my head.

"This is what friends are for, don't be silly"

And she's right, the last 3 months the panic attack recurs twice, once when Yujin stayed at my house and once again it was Hyewon's turn. Both recurs when I was too exhausted from my hectic workload, I tried to occupy myself to avoid any strange thoughts about the nightmare, instead, it hit me back like a boomerang. 

That's why they advised me to take time off from work and go on vacation, and I did...

No... We did.

When I visited my psychiatrist, which is Yujin's father, to asked for a medical clearance form, he said he would sign it if someone else accompanied me on vacation, I told them about that...

and...

here we are... all of us, have visited several cities in Japan for 2 weeks. We just arrived back in Tokyo from Shirakawa, and currently resting in a hotel.

*knock* *knock*

The sound of someone knocking forced me to get off the bed and walk towards the door to open it.

"Ah... Why?" It's Hyewon, already wore her coat and brought her purse.

"I'll go back to the train station with Minjoo, she left her purse on the train."

"Again?" I shouldn't have shocked, Minjoo always left or forgot something here and there.

"As always... she'd try to call the lost and found counter but no one answer, we'll just go there to ask directly. You and Yujin can go to that yakitori restaurant first, we will catch up after we get her purse."

"She always loses something."

"It's Minjoo, what do you expect? ... Alright then, she is waiting in the lobby, call us when you get there."

Hyewon then walked away from my room and I walked back to the bed

"Who was that?" Yujin who just finished showering, asked me while drying her hair with a towel.

"That was Hyewon. She told us to go to the yakitori restaurant first, she and Minjoo need to go back to the station." I briefly explained what was happened to her.

"Why are they going back to the station?"

"Minjoo left her purse on the train."

"Oh... that's the Kim Minjoo I know... anyway, have you take your med, unnie?"

I nodded and shook the pills container.

"running low?"

"Yeah... three pills left, I have to visit your father soon."

"ok, wait a minute, let me call him."

Yujin... she always like that, reminded me to take my meds, make sure I didn't run out of meds and even scheduled a monthly appointment for me to visit her father, like what she just did right now. seemed like that doctor bloodline still flowed in her veins, even though she did not follow her parents to become one.

Back in the days, I never even thought about having a friend. And now...

Who would've thought I relied myself a lot on them? They always reminded me to take care of my condition, take turns staying at my house to accompanied me, witnessed and felt their concern for my condition, made me wonder...

... would I survive all this alone?

"Unnie... you don't have any new symptoms, right?"

"I don't think so." I shook my head to answer her and then she relayed it to the psychiatrist on the other end of the phone call.

So far... I didn't feel any symptoms other than what I've felt before, the trigger hasn't changed, still that sweet nightmare... 

But I wonder... that nightmare... isn't it too long to be the trigger? I mean... from the beginning till the end it's always the same... also why I always woke up at the very end is still a big question for me...

Hmmm...

Wait...

Could it be...?

***

"Excuse our tardiness, ladies." Hyewon voice who just arrived with Minju distracted me from munching my favourite negima.

"What took you so long to get here?" Yujin asked them

"You know... she also left her special phone in that purse..." Hyewon started to explained and specifically quote-unquote the word special with her finger.

"... and after she got her purse back, she quickly checked the phone and it has dozen missed calls from you-know-who." 

"The great Kim Chaewon???" Yujin spits out the name of Minjoo's lover, Kim Chaewon, the eldest daughter of TV station's owner where Minjoo worked as a newscaster. 

"Yaaah... sorry... sorry... I owed her an explanation, she was worried." Minjoo frowned and defended herself with an apologetic tone.

"It's okay... we understand, even Iris will be worried if you're her girlfriend." 

Hyewon said and I couldn't agree more with her... with that clumsiness even my cat would be worried. 

"Talking about Iris, is she doing fine at the catteries?" 

"She'll be fine... They haven't called me. If she is sick or stressed they'll call me immediately. besides she's already familiar with the