after

i would like to think that i'm stronger without you. that i'm better without you. because of you, i felt the worst pain i never felt before you. even after all this while, it's crazy that i'm still hoping. hoping you will return and change your mind, hoping you'll love me too. but those are just dreams. pointless, stupid dreams i wished would happen. 

i hate this, i hate us. i hate the us that never existed. it was never meant to be and i knew it since the start, yet i still feel my heart ache in the worst ways possible when i think of you. sometimes i think back on those few times we talked, and i wish i had learned to treasure those moments then. to remember the way your eyes sparkled, and the way you smiled. 

so that i could keep you in my memories forever.

so that i could learn to love you better.

- love, wheein.