after

i think it has been a year, maybe more, maybe less. 

who knows? a year ago at this time maybe i was already madly in love with you without knowing it. 

it's been half a year since you left here to pursue whatever course you wanted to take. it's been six months since i've last seen you in person, and one month since i last managed to see you through a screen. it was brief, barely a second. i walked past while hyejin was video calling you. we were never really close, nor did we have a chance to be friends rather than acquaintances, so i only flashed you a quick, polite smile before leaving. 

i didn't stay long enough to see your reaction or hear your words because i didn't want to be hurt again. every time i see you it's bittersweet, you make me happy, even just a few words from you can make my whole week, and i find myself smiling foolishly at the thought of you. but the happiness is laced with the everlasting pain, knowing that you will never look at me the same way i look at you. i don't blame you, i would never blame you for making me feel this way. if anything, i should be the one at fault for falling for you, so hard and so fast even when i knew nothing would happen between us. 

i still think about you every day and night, i still hope you are doing well and i hope you are happy. 

i still miss you, even though you probably couldn't care less about me. 

- love, wheein.