Irene nearly jumped out of her skin when the doorbell rang.

               “Ah, it’s not ready yet…” she whined, clambering about the kitchen, making the final touches to the setup. Everything had to be perfect, just as how he did it for her. “… Aah, why does he have to be so timely?”

               “We don’t have time anymore,” Seulgi warned her elder groupmate.

               “Right,” she said, breathless from the commotion, “You guys go hide in the bedroom, I’ll handle it from here.”

               Seulgi gave a final fist-pump of encouragement. “Good luck!”

               “Good luck!” the rest of her members quietly repeated after the second eldest before scurrying off into the bedroom.

               “I’ll be right there,” Irene yelled at the door, carefully setting the chopsticks down and checking, for the fifth time, that the bowls were the ones she prepared in advance for this day. “Coming!” As she rushed to the door, Irene rehearsed everything in her head again, almost forgetting to take out Jaeho’s slippers while doing so.

               “Hi Jaeho!” Irene swung the door open, a smile forming on her face as her eyes landed on the man waiting on the other side of the door.

               “Hey Irene,” he said, likewise wearing a smile on his face as he stepped into the apartment, “What were you doing?”

               “I felt bad for making you wait so long for dinner,” she said, ushering him into the apartment, “so I decided to make some for us.”

               “Oh really? Aw, you didn’t have to.” As Jaeho put on his slippers and entering the apartment, he caught a whiff of the meal Irene prepared, “Wow, that smells really good, too.”

               “You must be hungry, right? Let’s eat,” she told him, pulling the chair out for him.

               “Wait, it’s usually the other way around, isn’t it? Should I be pulling out the chair for you?”

               Irene laughed. “It’s ok, I’m your noona after all. This is my apology for making you wait so long to eat.”

               “You know, actually, I had a late lunch today so I wasn’t really that hungry until I entered this apartment,” Jaeho said, picking up the chopsticks that was situated next to the bowl. “What do we have here?”

               “I didn’t have much time, so I just decided to go with something simple.” That was a lie. Irene had spent two whole weeks preparing for this meal specifically, and even though she had her members accompany her as taste-testers, all of whom approved of the meal she made by herself, she was still nervous. “I figured you can’t really go wrong with Pa Jun,” Irene pointed to the pancakes with scallions, “and to balance out the dryness, I also made some Jang Kalguksu,” she said, motioning towards the two bowls of soup noodles. Irene wondered if Jaeho could tell how nervous she was; he was a perceptive man, so she could only hope he didn’t catch on. After all, it was a bit embarrassing to admit the amount of time she had spent trying to perfect this one simple meal.

               “Ah, it looks and smells so delicious,” Jaeho said, glancing up at Irene. Irene, realizing what he was doing, picked up her own chopsticks. Satisfied, he said, “Thank you for the meal,” before digging in, Irene following suit.

               “Oh wow, this is amazing,” Jaeho noted after taking a few bites of the meal, “Did you make this yourself?” Irene nodded, Jaeho nodding in appreciation and amazement. “Wow … do you cook often?”

               In the two months she spent with this newer Jaeho, she noticed a lot of parallels to their first getting to know each other. A lot of topics they talked about in the past were brought up again: Jaeho venting about the same problems occurred again (always followed promptly by an apology), Irene retelling stories but with the benefit of being able to tell them in a funnier or more concise way, sharing their likes and dislikes, among other things. Not that Irene minded; if anything, it was reassuring to her, like history was repeating itself. It felt like the likelihood of Jaeho becoming her boyfriend again grew with every topic they revisited, and that was very reassuring to her.

               “My members and I don’t usually have time to, but we do on special occasions, like for one of my members’ birthdays or if we ever have free time or something else.”

               “Wow, you could’ve fooled me,” he replied after taking another bite of the pancakes, “These taste like they were cooked by a pro.”

               Irene chuckled. “You don’t have to exaggerate.” The nervous idol hadn’t realized she stopped eating until Jaeho glanced at her quizzically.

               “I’m not,” he insisted after Irene resumed eating. “I had noodles for lunch yesterday and they weren’t as good as these.”

               “Well, thank you.”

               A short silence followed, broken summarily when Jaeho piped up. “Actually, these bowls are pretty fancy. Are they new?”

               Irene nodded, delighted Jaeho caught on. At first glance, they resembled the bowls that they normally used, but if one looked closer at the insides of the bowl, one could see the decorations. This was another thing that Irene didn’t want to admit, but she had spent a lot of money on these bowls, buying new ones because she messed up the decorations or because she wasn’t satisfied with them. Honestly, she still wasn’t completely satisfied with how the bowls turned out, but considering how busy she was about to be, today was the best day to enact her plan. “Yeah, I got them recently.”

               “Did you decorate these yourself?” he asked, tilting the bowl to view the top parts of the decorations from multiple angles.

               “Yeah! What do you think?” Irene’s heart was pounding more than it should have, eagerly awaiting Jaeho’s opinion: she created them for him after all, so if he liked them mattered a lot, at least to her.

               “I can’t see it all, but from what I can, it’s cute,” he commented. “I guess I’ll have to eat more to see it all, huh?”

               “You can pay more attention to it while we’re doing the dishes,” Irene said, trying not to sound too panicked. “Right now, focus on eating.” Irene somehow hadn’t thought about this: what if Jaeho was so curious that he accidentally saw Irene’s surprise before she was ready? Could she improvise?

               Then again, only his own bowl wasn’t enough; he would need both bowls. But on the other hand, how hard was it to guess if he had half of what he needed? Irene began to say something about not being too curious, but before she could do so, Jaeho just shrugged and continued eating like normal.

               Irene breathed a mental sigh of relief; whether it was because Jaeho was perceptive enough to catch on that she didn’t want him prying any further or that he simply chose to obey Irene was unclear, but she was thankful nonetheless.

               The conversation flowed naturally from there, but Irene couldn’t help but feel nervous the entire time. She had never done anything like what she was about to do: most of it was because she was an idol, and before that a trainee, so the closest she’s ever gotten to doing something like this was watching it happen in K-Dramas. In addition to being inexperienced, she also worried about if Jaeho would consider it strange; after all, this type of thing wasn’t something she usually did. Irene was determined to take charge of their relationship ever since Jaeho lost his memories, but was this going too far?

               Irene was all too familiar with the almost sickening feeling of nervousness, but all she could do was try to follow her plan. Her heart started racing although she was unsure what it was trying to beat, her palms started sweating although she wasn’t undergoing any strenuous physical activity nor eating any spicy food, her mind started spinning although she and her members had meticulously planned this night for weeks now … every one of her bodily functions seemed to be going haywire at once, so much so that Irene worried that Jaeho would notice. Surely her heart must be loud enough to hear, surely her nervousness must be visible enough to see … Irene wanted this to be unexpected, partially so that she could have the element of surprise on her side. Without it … would Jaeho reject her?

               Irene shook her head. No, these types of thoughts are productive; as long as she tried her hardest, there wasn’t anything to regret. “What’s wrong?”

               Irene jumped a bit at Jaeho’s sudden question. “Huh? What do you mean?”

               “You look … troubled?” he said, leaning over the table with a hand reaching over the dishes, “Are you feeling unwell?”

               Irene’s face exploded in a fit of pink when he subsequently placed the back of his hand on her forehead. “Um, no, I’m OK,” she said, smiling in an attempt to reassure him. This was definitely not according to plan, and to be honest, Irene wasn’t sure if she could retake control of the situation.

               “Are you sure?” Jaeho looked genuinely worried, retracting his hand, “You’re looking a little red. Have you been overworking yourself again?”

               “No, it’s not that,” Irene said, hoping those words were enough for him to drop the issue. In these past two months, there were rarely any moments in which Jaeho’s actions would cause Irene to be visibly flustered, but this sudden skinship broke that exception. Irene figured he was probably not used to seeing her blushing, thus explaining his reaction, and hoped it stayed that way for now. “I get a little hot after eating, especially since it’s a little warm in here,” Irene said, hoping that makeshift explanation would suffice. Thankfully, Jaeho conceded and slunk back into his chair.

               “What’s your schedule like tomorrow?”

               Irene opened to answer, but not before noticing that Jaeho’s bowl was now empty; she hesitated giving her answer, panicking at the implications of Jaeho deciphering her plan before she was ready to enact it. It was true that the soup still covered the most important part, but with the noodles out of the way, Jaeho definitely would not have a hard time finding her secret. “Um, I—I have another shoot for our upcoming comeback that we’re probably going to be busy with all day, which is part of the reason why we were given easier schedules for today, to prepare for tomorrow.”

               “Oh,” Jaeho’s facial expression immediately took one of guilt. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you—”

               “Hey, don’t go saying that,” Irene interjected, “I like cooking, especially if it’s for you.”

               Jaeho couldn’t find a response to that, meekly looking down at his lap. “Ah, OK,” was the only response he could muster.

               “Are you finished?”

               “Yeah.”

               “Here,” Irene said, standing up slightly and picking up her bowl, “Take some, I can’t finish mine.”

               Jaeho looked at her in disbelief. “You can’t really claim to be full already, you still have so many noodles left!”

               Truth to be told, Irene wasn’t exactly bloated yet, but she could feel herself getting full. “Well, I can’t eat much because of our comeback, and forgot to take that into account when portioning the noodles,” she said, motioning for Jaeho to bring his bowl forward. “And from the looks of it, you aren’t full yet either.”

               Jaeho acquiesced, and after they finished their meal, as expected, Jaeho offered to wash the dishes. Irene insisted upon doing them together, eventually resorting to using her ‘I’m your noona’ card (one that she didn’t really like using, not for any reason other than using it reminded her of her age).

               Following the plan, she made sure that Jaeho was the one rinsing. This was for two reasons: one, so that Irene could control which dishes were washed first; and two, so that he had the best chance to see the bowls, especially the inside base of them.

               When Irene finally got to the bowls that contained the soup noodles, her heart started pounding again. Not wanting to seem suspicious to Jaeho, Irene continued at her normal pace, making sure to scrub the entire bowl with the sponge before handing it to Jaeho, hoping he wouldn’t notice that anything was off.

               However, Jaeho did notice; from the corner of his eyes, he saw Irene’s hands shaking slightly as she rubbed the bowl with the sponge. His first reaction was of worry: did she hurt her hand earlier that day and was having trouble controlling it properly? Did she cut or bruise herself? Did she have an undetected, small papercut that was now hurting because of the water?

               Jaeho considered asking but was caught off guard when Irene presented the bowl to him.

               During the meal, he didn’t have the chance to see the decorations on the bowl entirely; what he could tell was that Irene had done the decorations on the inside of the bowl by hand. It was most likely because the soup was in the way, but he never got a proper look at the lower parts of the decoration, so when Irene handed him the bowl, he did a mini-doubletake.

               Upon receiving the bowl and clearing away the soap duds, he confirmed that he wasn’t seeing things. Written carefully on the bottom of the bowl in Irene’s neat, pretty handwriting:

‘Jaeho, will you’

               He barely had any time to process this in his mind as, almost as soon as he was done rinsing this bowl, Irene was already handing him the next bowl.

               He tried to calm himself, warning himself to not jump to conclusions, reminding himself that he’s only known his idol for two months. There was no way—

               “Jaeho,”

               As Jaeho rinsed the soap duds away, the second part of the sentence revealed itself. Meanwhile, he could feel Irene wrapping her delicate arms around his waist, pressing her body against his back, her face resting just below his right shoulder.

‘go out with me?’

               As he read the rest of the question, his name escaped Irene’s mouth like a gentle spring breeze. Her hands were resting dangerously close to his heart, close enough that Jaeho feared Irene would feel how fast his heart was beating.

               “You pulled me out of a pit of loneliness when I was at my lowest and gave me happiness when I needed it the most.” Irene’s honey voice washed over Jaeho’s whole body; Irene wasn’t even hugging him tightly, but he still felt unable to move, trying his best to direct his attention away from the idol’s ample bust softly pressing against his body. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like the small hands placed on his chest was somehow restricting the capacity of his lungs to expand and contract. “You know that despite how quiet I am, I depend a lot on other people. Before I met you, it wasn’t that I was sad every day, it was that I didn’t know how refreshing and joyful life could be; after we started dating, every day felt like a gift because there was always something to look forward to and work towards. I know there aren’t many benefits of dating an idol, but I promise, I’ll try my best and work my hardest to make you as happy as you made me.”

               When Irene finished, she unknowingly tightened her grip on Jaeho in nervousness, biting her lip tightly in anticipation.

               “Why me?”

               If Irene was going to be honest, she was expecting one of two types of answers: responding with a question definitely was not one of those expectations.

               “You talk about this person who did all these amazing things as if it’s me, but to me, it just feels like I’m cheating or something.” Why was he saying this? Didn’t he resolve to never burden Irene with these thoughts he’s been having? “It feels like the one who did all these amazing things for you isn’t me but him, and that you’re mistaking me for this man.”

               “Oh…” Her grip loosened on Jaeho. “I … I didn’t know you felt this way…” Part of her was reeling from the revelation, but the selfish part of her wondered if this meant he would say ‘no’. “I’m sorry, I didn’t ever consider that, but—” the longer the thought sat with her, the more it terrified her; so instead of pondering it, she decided to push forward instead. “—but you are still the man I fell in love with before, and fell in love with again these past few months. You don’t need to feel like you have to live up to the standards of some other man because, just as you are, I fell in love with you again. Despite how thankful I am of the Jaeho you no longer have memories of, the man I’m in love with is you. Not the idea of you, but you, yourself.”

               The tears that were dotting his shirt, the heaviness of the emotion that Irene’s soliloquy transmitted straight into his soul, they gave no room to doubt the genuineness of Irene’s feelings. But still, it felt way too surreal. In the past few months, the biggest thing Jaeho struggled with was trying to separate a dangerous fantasy from reality; but what was he supposed to do now that that fantasy became his reality? “Um … I …”

               “I love you, isn’t that enough? You can tell, right?”

               Jaeho long considered what would happen if this situation were to happen. In a way, it was logical, with how Irene always acted around him and the burgeoning love he started to feel for the idol, but it felt wrong. Pretending to be Irene’s boyfriend was already enough to make him feel extremely deluded, but he always managed to bring his ego back down to earth.

               So, what was he supposed to feel when Irene spoke those two sentences?

               Jaeho had repeated to himself, again and again, that he would reject her: after all, it was unfair to claim the accomplishments of another man. Surely there was another man, maybe another idol or celebrity, who could better empathize with her career and take care of her better? He was just a normal guy, did he deserve the love of one of the most beloved celebrities in all of South Korea? How did she even fall in love with him, anyway?

               His answer to this question was that his past self did nothing short of miraculous, like saving her life or an equivalent feat, a standard he could never hope to achieve. However, hearing Irene’s genuine answer gave him pause; was it indeed him, Song Jaeho, who Bae Joohyun of Red Velvet loved, and not some incredible person who did something spectacular to draw the attention of the top celebrity? Before, Jaeho sort of idolized this person who caused Irene to fall in love with him, but now that he realized that person was simply himself and nothing more, he was at an impasse. The basis of his thought experiments was that the Jaeho Irene fell in love with and the person he is are different, so what should he do now that he knew that wasn’t the case…?

               “Do you—…do you not like me?”

               Irene was terrified—terrified—to say those words, but it was the only conclusion her overactive brain, clouded with a smog of dread, could come up with. In reality, the silence probably lasted no more than a few seconds, but to her, it felt like an eternity.

               “Can I…” Jaeho didn’t know how to respond. He was half-hoping to detect some kind of disingenuous tone in her voice to make rejecting her easier—as much as he valued himself, surely Irene, one of the most desired women in all of South Korea, deserved better. Was he worthy—could he really make her as happy as she claimed? “It’s not that … do you think I can make you happy?”

               Irene propped herself up on her tiptoes to rest her head on his neck. She let out a content sigh as she did so, the smog inside her brain vanishing in an instant, a smile forming on her face subconsciously. Irene had prevented herself from doing this in the past months for fear of seeming too clingy, but at this point, it was now or never. “You already have, happier than you can possibly imagine.”

               Jaeho turned to meet Irene’s gaze, his face immediately exploding bright red upon realizing how close their faces were. However, unlike the previous encounters, he didn’t back away. “Well, then I hope I can continue doing so in the future.”

               Irene almost couldn’t believe her ears. She had rehearsed this scene over and over and over and over, but all those simulations still didn’t adequately prepare her for this moment: her shock even superseded the temptation to for his adorable reaction to their proximity. “Is that—is that a yes?”

               Jaeho smiled. “What else would that be, silly,” he said, reaching back and patting her shoulder.

               The dam that was holding back her emotions erupted; relief, joy, excitement, love, hope, all these feelings flooded her body at once. It was this sudden adrenaline spike that was caused by the euphoric feeling combined with the fact that their faces were so close together that brought Irene to ride her hands up to secure herself on his sturdy shoulders, lifting herself up a bit more, and capturing his lips with her own.

               If Jaeho felt like his chest was tight with anxiety before, the feeling of Irene’s warm, soft, moist lips on his own caused his heart, which was already working overtime, to rip open his chest. Like any male fan of hers, as erse as it was, he had imagined what it would feel like to kiss her, but whatever he imagined it to be, the actual sensation was a hundred—a thousand times better. Her lips were impossibly soft, like a fresh, warm marshmallow, and mixed with the subtle taste of her fruity lipstick—and a hint of salt, undoubtedly from tears that fell down her face—almost made him want to take a bite of them. He refrained, for obvious reasons, recovering from the initial shock to respond to her kiss, turning his neck to get more access.

               Eventually, they broke contact, Irene turning Jaeho around, her hands now wrapped around his neck. “What was that?” Jaeho chuckled, face still flushed from the sudden display of affection.

               “What?” she replied, pouting—something that seriously almost baited Jaeho into kissing her again, “I can’t kiss my boyfriend?”

               “I don’t know, did we kiss a lot before?”

               Irene nodded. Her lips were pulled into a wide smile, her eyes sparkling in the bright light of the apartment’s kitchen. “Of course,” she claimed, although Jaeho could tell there was a hint of playfulness.

               “Are you sur—” Irene got on her tiptoes again, cutting him off with another kiss. This time, Jaeho much quicker to respond, wrapping his arms around her slim waist, relieving her feet from a bit of the stress that was placed on them.

               When they broke the kiss, Irene was still smiling. “Did that answer your question?”

               Jaeho laughed. “Yeah, I guess,” he replied, freezing when Irene reached up to his face.

               “I accidentally gave you some of my lipstick,” she said, giggling while gently wiping the soft tissue with her index finger. “Unless you want it?” she said, stopping.

               “I think I’m fine,” he replied, just so happening to catch movement in the corner of his eye. Curious, he looked around Irene to see the bedroom door, that was barely visible from their place in the kitchen, suddenly close. “I think your members are spying on us,” he whispered to Irene, motioning towards the door.

               Irene turned around, releasing her hold on Jaeho as he did the same to her. “Yah, you four,” she scolded, walking towards the door. “Is it that fun to spy on us?”

               She opened the door to find the four innocently sitting on the bed, although the slight flush on their face told the entire story. “What? What do you mean?” Joy asked innocently.

               “Don’t lie to me,” Irene walked over to the second youngest, which apparently was enough for her to spill the truth.

               “Well, we all thought we heard you crying so we decided to see what was happening, and we were worried for a second, but—”

               “You two are sooo cuutee!”

               “I’m so jealous, I wish I could have someone like that—”

               “It was just so adorable I was really trying my hardest to not squeal like a little girl—”

               “It was really cute, I felt like I was watching a K-Drama—”

               “My own heart was beating so fast—”

               “I wanted to record a video to tease you, but—”

               “I’m glad for you, unnie!”

               “Yeah, congratulations!”

               The rest of her members echoed the sentiment shared by Seulgi, clamoring out of the bedroom and giving her a hug.

               “Congratulations to you too, Jaeho,” Wendy noted, seeing him hovering behind her.

               “Yah, what are you saying,” Irene laughed, playfully hitting the Canadian-Korean as she went to shake his hand. Jaeho obliged, laughing along.

               “Thanks,” he replied, almost used to the antics of the members of his now girlfriend, “But have you all eaten yet? Should I cook more for you all?”

               “I’m hungry,” Yeri volunteered, raising her hand.

               “Me too,” Seulgi said.

               “You guys ate dinner two hours ago,” Irene said, waving them off. “Don’t worry about them, they’re just teasing you,” she said, ushering them out. Still, it warmed her heart to know that Jaeho—that her boyfriend’s first reaction to seeing her members was asking if they had eaten yet. If there weren’t enough already, it was yet another reminder that she had chosen correctly. “You have no more reason to be here, shoo.”

               “Wow, you’re trying to get alone time with Jaeho at nighttime?”

               “We have a shooting tomorrow, you have to be ready and available tomorrow morning!”

               “You two…” Irene laughed, exasperated, as the two youngest reveled in teasing their leader.

               “Let’s go, we should give them some space,” Seulgi said, grabbing the two and heading for the door. “See you later, Joohyun,” Seulgi said, Wendy following close behind. “Bye, and congratulations again, Jaeho.”

               The rest of the members echoed the congratulations and headed out the door. As soon as the door closed, Irene turned to Jaeho. “Now that I’m your girlfriend, you can start calling me ‘Joohyun’, right?”

               In the past two months, this was something that Irene had actually brought up quite a bit; he was cautious because it felt like he was being too friendly with the idol. Now, with this situation, he felt more comfortable with using her real name. “Sure, Joohyun,” he replied albeit with some difficulty, automatically smiling in response to Irene’s smile.

               “Also, one more thing; Yeri and Sooyoung were teasing us about—well, you know, but that’s something I want to avoid for now.” Irene’s smile faded, and Jaeho could understand why; for him, his first memory of the idol was waking up that one morning and discovering that he was , in bed, next to the similarly woman. However, for him, it was clear it wasn’t the that caused him to lose his memory.

               “Actually—I didn’t mention this before because it felt inappropriate to, but…” Jaeho hesitated, debating whether or not to reveal this bit about himself, eventually figuring that they were both adults and Irene could take the truth, “you weren’t my first time, and since this hasn’t ever happened before, I don’t think it was that.”

               “Oh.” Irene had always gone with the assumption that it was the that caused the sudden amnesia somehow, not realizing that it was only natural for someone as attractive as Jaeho, who has had many girlfriends, to not be a . As natural as it was for this to be the case, she couldn’t help but still feel jealous. “I—ok, I see.” Despite everything, a frown still appearing on her face.

               Jaeho kept his laughter to himself, seeing the discord inside Irene’s mind on her face: he could see that Irene was conflicted by this information but didn’t want to express it, resulting in the cute half-pout, half-frown that she was doing.

               “Did you ever sleep with them? Sleep overnight?”

               Jaeho thought about the question for a brief second before shaking his head. “No, I haven’t,” he carefully said, and after a few more seconds of pondering, continued, “in fact, since there’s only my dad and I in my house, I haven’t ever slept with anyone else on the same bed, since we would have our own individual beds on vacations.”

               “That must be it then,” Irene concluded, feeling much more relieved. Before, she could only wildly speculate but didn’t want to pry; now that she was officially his girlfriend (again), she felt more at ease to ask these questions, and having reached this satisfying conclusion eliminated the element of mystery to her, removed the thought in the back of her mind that being around Jaeho could trigger his amnesia.

               “So, is still on the table?”

               Irene smiled slyly to Jaeho; recently, she could tell that he’s been trying to elicit the same embarrassed reactions she’s been eliciting from him, but it would often backfire onto him. As it was about to now. “What, do you want to do it right now?”

               As expected, Jaeho conceded, turning away abruptly. Of course, Irene was also embarrassed—at the thought, at the sudden question, at saying such a thing—but to her, seeing Jaeho’s bashful reaction was always worth it.

               Unfortunately, becoming her boyfriend did something to Jaeho that caused him to react in such ways less and less over the next few weeks, and that was only the beginning of it. The SM higher ups have subtly been trying to interrupt their relationship: restricting phone access, more strict sleep schedules, among other tactics, but a few weeks into their relationship, their antics started becoming more obvious.

               If it was just one shoot, it was fine: Irene knew she was the face of the group and using her as their MV’s heroine made sense. So of course, when she arrived on set and was given the plot of the MV scenes to be shot—her and a male actor acting quite a few risqué scenes, the justification being that they ‘fit the theme of the song’ (which admittedly was a ier, or a ‘Red’, song), she didn’t complain at all. Her members gave her words of encouragement before the scenes, which she was thankful for, but couldn’t help but feel guilty the entire time. It was just work, she knew this and so did Jaeho when she notified him about the situation, but it still felt wrong, somehow.

               However, if it was just that, she would have been fine. Just one shoot in which she had to act intimate with someone else, she could accept; just bear with it and be done with it. It wasn’t just that shoot, though. A few weeks shooting that scene for Red Velvet’s MV, she arrived on set for a CF for a brand she endorsed, finding out that she was suddenly doing a photoshoot with a male idol who was newly added as an endorsed idol for the company, she was slightly annoyed. Fortunately, Jaeho didn’t seem to mind, so Irene shoved aside her frustration.

               It didn’t end with just that. Just a couple days after that photoshoot, Irene received a call from Jaeho while on her way to another schedule—a rare occurrence, prompting Irene to pick up immediately.

               “Jaeho? Is something wrong?”

               Irene could immediately tell from his eyes that her suspicions were spot on. “I wanted to talk about something, but … I’m not sure if we already talked about this, so I’m sorry if we did, but I think it’s important.”

               “Of course.”

               This was something Jaeho appreciated about Irene; she had many ‘modes’ and always found the correct ‘mode’ to switch to for each situation. Right now, in light of his recent discoveries—well, they weren’t so much ‘discoveries’ as ‘realizations upon deeper thought’—he had a deep contention with their situation, something he hadn’t given too deep of a thought until recently. “This isn’t about something wrong with you or me or anything—I’m your boyfriend, but I’m also your fan, just like how you’re my girlfriend but also the leader of Red Velvet. Our relationship makes me happy as an individual, but I never considered how it would impact me as a fan. In—”

               “Did my company call you again?”

               Irene switched tones, from motherly to firm. It was something Jaeho hadn’t really ever experienced, so seeing her suddenly be so cold was startling to him. Did he do something wrong? Did he slip up? Did Irene hate him now? After all, Jaeho always advocated being honest, and in the past few weeks, even past few months, Jaeho was anything but that.

               “Yes,” he quickly admitted.

               Irene scowled, her eyebrows bunching together in frustration. “Those people…” Irene usually was very hesitant to show bad sides of her in front of Jaeho, of which included frustrated or angry, but this realization caused her emotions to bubble to the top. They weren’t even being sneaky about it anymore; were they doing this against the CEO’s wishes, or did he have a change of heart? Either way, one thing became clear to Irene in that moment: this wasn’t an issue that could be solved with a simple talk. They had to definitively prove that their relationship wasn’t harmful for her career. “They decided to bring this topic up again, huh? They talked about this in the past, before you lost your memories; do you trust me?” Jaeho nodded immediately. “I’ll explain more when we meet in person.”

                “Ok … sorry for bringing this up so suddenly.” In truth, Jaeho still had a million questions; however, after her confession, Jaeho decided that he should trust Irene absolutely in everything no matter how things appeared to him.

               “No! It’s ok, it’s not your fault. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the people who were calling you and telling you all these things,” she clarified, looking up to see that they were nearly at their destination. “I have to go now, I’ll call you later tonight if I get the chance, OK?”

               “Alright, love you Joohyun.”

               This wasn’t the first time Irene heard him say this—it wasn’t even the tenth time, or maybe even the hundredth time, but it was something that always put a smile on her face. “Love you too Jaeho,” she said, waving to him before hanging up.

               “You’re smiling a bit too widely right now,” her manager noted as they prepared to exit the car.

               “Right,” Irene said, calming herself down. It was brought to her attention by her fans during an Instagram Live that there was some speculation on the net about her secretly having a boyfriend, the only source being her noticeably smiling much more at events. Honestly, Irene found it amazing that Reveluvs were able to spot something like that, but ever since this, she made sure to have better control of her facial expressions.

               Later that week, Irene made sure to keep her unofficial 200^th day anniversary with Jaeho—that is, 200 days after Jaeho initially asked her to be his girlfriend—and arranged to meet him at their apartment. This time, Jaeho was the first to arrive.

               “Ah, you’re here?” Jaeho’s voice drifted from the kitchen, “Dinner’s almost done, are you hungry?”

               “You know I can’t eat much,” she replied, slipping on her slippers, walking in view of the man in front of the stove.

               “Just one day is fine,” he argued, still concentrated on his cooking. Irene used this opportunity to sneak up on him.

               There was no question that Jaeho was attractive; her groupmates talked about it from time to time, and even Taeyeon from Girls’ Generation said so when she met him in person for the first time. His good looks did not play an important role, if at all, of her falling in love with him, but there were definitely a lot of positives for Jaeho being as attractive as he was. Not only was he pleasant to look at—his face proportions were insanely good, in Irene’s estimation—but his body was well-built too. To Irene though, there was one more thing, perhaps the most important: he had a nice .

               Irene, being a buttlover, usually held herself back a lot when around Jaeho, even before his amnesia, but in this scenario, it was too tempting. He was completely oblivious, his back was turned to her, and the pants that he was wearing just so happened to outline its shape nicely.

               “How’s the cooking going?”

               As Irene said those words, Jaeho felt a sudden, sharp, squeezing motion applied to his bottom. “Ah—!” he physically jumped, nearly dropping the utensil that was in his hand. He glanced over to see the idol grinning mischievously, suddenly remembering her self-proclaimed love for butts. “What was that for?”

               “I couldn’t help myself,” she admitted, joining him in front of the stove.

               “You couldn’t help yourself?” Jaeho repeated, laughing, “How does that make sense?”

               Irene puffed her cheeks in defiance. “Well, if you were in my shoes, you would understand. It’s your fault for having such a nice .”

               Jaeho laughed even harder at that. He was used to being called ‘attractive’ or ‘handsome’ or ‘cute’, but this was a compliment he had never received, nor did he ever expect to receive. “That’s something I haven’t ever heard in my life.”

               Irene smiled. “That’s good, that means no one else knows then,” she commented, patting his again, “By the way, you haven’t given me a greeting kiss yet.”

               “Ah—are you sure we did this often?” Jaeho said, turning to face her, “I mean, if you forgot for this long…”

               “I was distracted.”

               Jaeho’s eyebrows perked up in suspicion of her but obliged anyway, pausing a bit at the sight of Irene’s closed eyes and waiting lips. Her serene expression, her beautiful eyelashes, her tall nose bridge, her full, red puckered lips … it was a sight any man dreamt of, Jaeho himself being no exception. He wondered if this was something he would ever get used to before pecking her on the lips. Even though Irene demanded a ‘greeting kiss’ every time they met up, every single time was as breathtaking as the last. For that brief second, her soft lips softly touched his, the soft tissue pressing lightly against him, the subtle perfume she wore wafting into his nose. The contact was brief, but it produced an electrical shock that apparently provided energy for his lungs and heart to speed up, working hard to produce the red hue spreading on his face. When Jaeho turned his attention back to the meal he was cooking, Irene was already teasing him. “Ah, you’re blushing,” she pointed out, banking on Jaeho being too embarrassed to turn his head and notice that she was also pink-faced.

               “We haven’t been dating for that long, so you can’t really blame me.”

               “Actually, today’s sort of a special day in that regard,” Irene added, “If you hadn’t lost your memory suddenly, we would be celebrating our 200^th day anniversary.”

               “Ah, really? Should we still celebrate somehow? Maybe get some ice cream or something?”

               Irene pondered a bit before responding, “Nah, it’s OK. Just your company is fine.” Irene wrapped her arms around Jaeho’s waist as she said those words, resting her head on his well-defined arms. “You’re actually pretty buff, aren’t you?”

               “I just work out from time to time,” he responded, trying his hardest to both maintain his concentration on his cooking while also regulating his breathing and heartbeat at a normal level. He sort of expected skinship from the beautiful woman after they started dating, but this level … perhaps it was bad for his heart. No, scratch that—it was definitely bad for his heart. “I can show you some exercises if you want.”

               “I thought we were supposed to be celebrating today,” she said, separating herself slightly to look at him.

               He smiled, briefly glancing at her. “You’re right, let’s not do that then. This looks about ready, do you mind setting up the table?”

               Irene agreed, and after they started eating, Irene brought up the topic she had delayed until this moment. “About my career and the phone calls you’ve received,” she started, Jaeho nodding earnestly, “I know you might feel guilty for distracting me or something, but it’s actually not like that at all. My members and even my staff members who don’t know that I’m dating you have commented that it looks like I have more energy recently. I’ve started doing lyric-writing and gotten into songwriting too as a result of spending time with you, the days that I feel good are more frequent, and the days that I go to sleep feeling bad have just disappeared because I am able to talk to you. The time I spend with you is just as valuable as practice time, I think, because it allows me to experience things I haven’t before and allows me to improve my performances.  So you don’t have to feel bad; my mental health is also something I have to look after, right? You being there for me helps me a lot with that.”

               Jaeho nodded. “Ah, so basically you’re just using me as a free therapist,” he said, nodding as if that was the obvious conclusion from Irene’s mini-spiel.

               Irene laughed. “You know that’s not what I mean,” she whined, feigning annoyance, although secretly she was pleased that Jaeho accepted her explanation so quickly.

               “I must not be a good one though because of that whole sudden amnesia thing.”

               Irene frowned, seeing the guilt on Jaeho’s face creep up once again. He had already expressed his thoughts on this regard and it hurt Irene to see him beat himself up over something he had no control over, especially since there was no prior hint that it would happen. “Don’t talk like that,” she said gently, reaching over to trap his hand in hers, “It’s not your fault and you know it.”

               Jaeho remained silent for a second. “You know what’s the difference between first-degree murder and third-degree murder in the court of law?” When Irene shook her head, Jaeho continued. “Intent. If you accidentally kill someone, it’s considered third-degree murder, meaning even if you didn’t mean to hurt someone, you still get punished.”

               Irene squeezed his hand, biting her lip in frustration. “Well, I mean, there are a lot of good things. You know, in the past, it was actually you who teased me most of the time, but now I get to do that to you.” Jaeho chuckled, looking up at Irene. She smiled back, continuing on. “Think about it like this: if our relationship can survive this, then we can pretty much survive anything, right? If we think about this as the ultimate test, and that we’ve pretty much passed already, then it’s not so bad.”

               “That is, unless you suddenly forget about me,” he said, a ghost of a smile lingering on his face, “Honestly, I don’t think I could ever get you to fall back in love with me.”

               “I don’t know, I think it would be really easy for you,” she countered, “It just took the one conversation for my interest in you to start, after all.” She paused for a bit, slowly retreating her hands as she fondly remembered her first encounter with Jaeho, then blushing when she remembered what she did as her tipsy self decided was an appropriate ‘test’. “Well, to make things simpler, you can be sure that I’ll never intentionally do anything that would scare you like that, I promise.”

                This time, the smile on his face was genuine: full of life, bright, the smile of the man she was in love with. She had always known that Jaeho masked his insecurities and negative thoughts to himself just as she did, but seeing him bring them to light made her feel more relieved. Not only did it feel better to be able to comfort him, it also made her realize how important it was for herself to open up to her members, which allowed her to grow. If only SM could see this, they wouldn’t be so insistent on their breaking up…

               Of course, it wasn’t just that simple: Irene’s troubles with SM interfering with her relationship with Jaeho continued. For SM’s next company concert, it was decided that there would be multiple couple stages; usually, there were only a handful per concert. This time, they found it necessary to put her in three, all of which were her being paired with Exo’s Suho. She didn’t have anything against Suho, to be clear, but she was well aware of the ‘ship’ her fans had with him, and she imagined so was SM, so it was easy to conclude that this was intentionally done to strengthen that ‘ship’ and further pressure her into breaking ties with her boyfriend. She didn’t let it phase her during practice as the EXO member didn’t know of Irene’s relationship status, but made sure to give Jaeho a piece of advice on the night she was informed of the third couple stage.

               “So, you know how I told you SM was planning an SM concert, right?”

               He nodded. “Yeah…”

               “And I told you about the couple stage that was planned, right?” He nodded again. “They added two more recently. I’m pretty sure they’re trying to mess with me, and for all of them I’m paired with the same person.”

               “Oh, Suho from Exo?”

               Irene, caught off guard, froze for a second. “Yeah, but how did you know?”

               “Well, I’m your fan, of course I know about the ship between you and Suho,” he claimed, a bit too proudly.

               “Yah, why are you so proud to know that?” Irene said, holding back a laugh.

               “Well, it isn’t exactly a well-known thing, right? Aren’t you proud that I would know a more obscure piece of information about you?”

               Irene shook her head, unable to hide her smile anymore. She didn’t know what Jaeho’s thoughts were on these types of topics but seeing this type of reaction on top of knowing how outwardly genuine he always was reassured her that he in fact didn’t mind. “Yes yes, good job,” she said, shifting her position on her bed, “This time, I would like if you didn’t come, actually.”

               Jaeho’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why not?”

               “This is a little selfish of me, but I don’t want to support SM while they’re doing this kind of stuff.”

               Jaeho pouted. “So, I won’t get to see my favorite girl group, Girls’ Generation?”

               Irene laughed. “Yah, how can you say that in front of your own girlfriend?”

               “What, are you jealous?”

               Irene huffed, faking jealousy. “Whatever, I’m not talking anymore.”

               “…You say that, but you haven’t hung up yet.”

               “…you know what,” Irene said, breaking out into laughter.

               “You know I’m joking, of course I like Red Velvet the most. I’ll not come to that concert—” Jaeho paused briefly before continuing, “—wow, that’s a little strange to say, huh?”

               Irene nodded, checking the time briefly. “Oh, it’s getting late. You have a photoshoot tomorrow, right?”

               “Ah! That was what I was forgetting to tell you; I was recently let go of that side-job because an actor named Choi Kwon Soo agreed to endorse them.”

               Irene furrowed her eyebrows. “That name sounds familiar…” she paused, opening the browser app on her phone. After a quick search, her suspicions were confirmed. “I knew it, he’s an SM actor,” she sighed, clenching her fists in anger.  She was fine with SM screwing with her; she worked for them, so they technically had the ability to change these kinds of things, as annoying as it was. But to interfere with someone else’s career … that was just low. “Sorry, I didn’t think they’d ever go so low as to interfere with your career; I can help you find another job, but—”

               “It’s ok, don’t worry about it,” he interrupted her, “I thought about it for a little and decided that I didn’t want to do another job like that because of how exhausting it is. Actually, I’m amazed at how you’re able to do it on top of all the other stuff you do, but you don’t have the option of deciding to stop.”

               “What, really? Are you sure?”

               Jaeho nodded. “It was fun at first, but as I’m getting older, it gets more and more exhausting. But you’re older than me and have more shoots but still do so well in all of them.”

               “Yah,” Irene complained, Jaeho laughing in response, Irene eventually joining. “I mean, if you’re really ok with it, then I guess … you won’t need my help?”

               Jaeho nodded. “Thanks for offering. Maybe, if we ever go public, we can do a duo photoshoot or something, but anything other than that is going to be a ‘no’ for me.”

               “Ooh, that would be so fun!” Irene exclaimed, never having thought about that before. “I could teach you a bunch of fun couple poses to do—”

               “I’m not a newbie to couple shoots, you know.”

               “Don’t act so cocky in front of your senior,” Irene shot back, smiling as Jaeho did so as well. “Actually, you know what? I just thought of something; speaking of poses, how about I do something whenever I show up on TV for you? Like, how about tucking my hair behind my ear with my thumb?”

               Jaeho laughed. “That’s cute. Sure, I would love that,” he replied. “I would say I could do the same, but I doubt I’ll ever appear on TV.”

               “Hey, you never know. Maybe you’ll appear on TV once our relationship becomes public and people become more interested in you.”

               Irene was mostly saying this as a joke—in reality, she figured it would be a long time before this kind of news breaks out. They even talked a bit about it when they met up that week and agreed that, ideally, their relationship would be secret until they get married, and that would only happen when Red Velvet’s activities started dying down. Irene felt really bad for Jaeho, but Jaeho clearly voiced that he was fine with it, another trait that Irene loved him for.

               However, this isn’t what ended up happening, as she discovered the next day. That next morning, she woke up, opened the news websites on her phone as she usually did, and received a mini-heart attack reading the top article’s headline.

‘[BREAKING!] SM Confirms Red Velvet’s Irene Is Dating A Non-Idol!’

Oh no! Do you think that this is another false alarm? What will happen to the couple if the news finally comes out?

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Hope you enjoyed, and see you next week!