Jaeho wasn’t one to jump to conclusions, but he couldn’t help but panic. As Irene’s boyfriend, he found himself inadvertently scrolling down to the comments section of any articles about Red Velvet and reading them, gaining an even deeper understanding for how scalding the public can be because of it. So when he saw this headline, what he feared for wasn’t for himself or even Red Velvet as group, but for Bae Joohyun, his girlfriend who also happened to be an extremely popular South Korean idol. This time, he was able to resist the urge to scroll down to the comments of this particular news article, and immediately moved to send a text over to Irene.

               However, his girlfriend was already ahead of him.

‘I don’t know if you saw the news, but I had to tell my company that I wasn’t in a relationship after they asked. I’m sorry ㅠ_ㅠ I wasn’t ready to reveal our relationship yet. I told them it was Joy that was walking with me, and she agreed to say the same thing.’

               Even though the two had already agreed that Irene would tell Jaeho when she felt ready to tell her company about their relationship, it warmed Jaeho’s heart to see that Irene was still concerned for him about lying about it. He understood why Irene might have felt the need to apologize: hiding one’s relationship with someone could also be interpreted as being ashamed of it, but that’s not how Jaeho saw it at all. He understood that it was a necessary measure to protect both their relationship and her career, even if he was admittedly slightly frustrated by this fact.

               Was this the right course of action, though? Wasn’t it time to tell the truth to the company? And even if they did know, couldn’t SM just deny the rumors while still knowing the truth? Surely, this has been done before, right?

               There were still hundreds, thousands, of questions whizzing about Jaeho’s mind, but he trusted Irene to know better than himself regarding the entertainment industry. So, without further questioning her decisions, he shut them all out and sent a reply.

‘Don’t worry about it, Joohyun. Take your time ^_^ How are you right now? Try to avoid reading comments for now, ok?’

               This was another thing Jaeho figured Irene knew better than him, but he also knew that it was still an irresistible urge to some. Heck, if he had the urge, then the idol Irene definitely had the urge. While he had a slight glimmer of hope that maybe now, Korean netizens have mellowed about regarding their idols dating, Jaeho knew it was highly unlikely and that he shouldn’t count on it.

               However, the text Jaeho sent was sent too late.

               Before Jaeho had even woken up, Irene had discovered the news article. After recovering from the initial wave of shock and panic, Irene carefully read the article. She knew that scrolling down to the comments section of the article was a gamble, but she found herself doing it anyway, her fingers mindlessly swiping up on her phone’s screen. Maybe Korean netizens had changed, she thought. After all that happened in the past few years regarding the revelations of the hardships idols went through, after all the dating scandals that happened already and the negative impact on the idols’ mental health, maybe their fans would realize the impact of their words; and with the incoming storm that her company was about to throw at her, she could use some positivity.

               The faint feeling of hope was immediately squashed upon reading the first comment, pushed further and further into the dirt as she scrolled further down, hoping to find solace in her fans.

               While there were a few supportive comments—‘Oh, I wonder who it is!~’, ‘I bet it’s Park Bogum’, ‘wow, that’s so exciting!’—the negative ones far outweighed the positive. ‘I can’t believe Irene-unnie would betray us like this’, ‘I guess I should stop following Red Velvet’, ‘I bet the other Red Velvet members are secretly dating too’, ‘And I trusted Irene-unnie to be clean ㅠ_ㅠ’, among various profanity-charged, erse comments … Irene loved her fans—they were the source of her strength and were on top of the list of reasons why she continued to bear with this hectic life as an idol—but it was times like these that she felt saddened by them … disappointed, but unsure at what … betrayed, but unsure of whom … frustrated, conflicted … a small voice was the only thing that snapped her out of the kaleidoscope of emotions she was trapped inside.

               “Joohyun?” Wendy’s voice came from behind her, the other three appearing behind her shortly after. “Are you OK?”

               She was about to nod when she remembered the talk she had with her members all those months ago about not hiding her feelings, then proceeded to shake her head and bury her face in her hands. In a second, she was engulfed by the warm bodies of her groupmates.

               “What’s going to happen? Are we going to be forced to break up?” Irene cried, holding tightly onto Wendy. “I don’t want that, what should I do?”

               “It’s OK, when our company calls us about this, let’s just say that there was some confusion and that you were walking with me,” Joy offered.

               “We should also—”

               Before Seulgi could finish her sentence, Irene’s phone lit up.

               “Is it them?” Wendy asked. Irene pulled out her phone and, upon seeing the caller ID on the screen, nodded. “Let’s wipe your tears first,” Wendy used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe away the stray tears that were on her cheek. “Take a deep breath first,” she instructed, taking a deep breath herself. Irene found herself smiling, following her lead. “Now go on. We’re all here for you, OK?”

               Irene nodded, removing herself from Wendy and answering the call.

               Thankfully, they seemed to take her word for it pretty readily, but this definitely left an impression on Irene; last night, she had pressed Jaeho to walk outside with her. As there tended not to be many people around the apartment building, added on top of the factor that it was dark and late at night, she figured it would be safe. Jaeho was against it, despite him also being an outdoorsy-type person, but eventually acquiesced at Irene’s persistence.

               Why did she have to insist? Why couldn’t she just listen to her smart boyfriend?

               It would be nice if it all blew over, and she sincerely hoped it did, but because their—or her—chosen course of action was lying, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the omnipresent media would eventually catch on. And if the comments that accompanied the news breaking article was any indication, such a revelation, if not followed promptly by a statement of denial, would lead to catastrophe. Furthermore, now that SM was about to deny the rumors, if the truth ever leaked, the resulting storm might be even worse than if they had originally outright admitted it.

               Was she making the right choice? She wanted to believe that she was, but in reality, she really didn’t know. She sat on her bed, a tight knot of anxiety squeezed at her heart and lungs, a deep discomfort enveloping her entire body; she wanted to run to Jaeho’s warm arms and hug him, but chances were, he was still asleep at the moment.

               She still had some time before SM officially released their reply to the rumors. If the company ever found out, then wouldn’t they give Jaeho hell, which would end up being her fault? Jaeho was always so supportive of her, but this was pushing it a bit—he had told her that he knew what he was getting into when confessing to her, but Irene felt this was more than he, or anyone, could have bargained for.

               On top of that, the trend nowadays regarding these things was to just admit it if they were caught, right? But then again, there were still a lot of idols that end up getting away with dating without the public knowing. However, if she planned on dating for Jaeho until marriage—which she did—then wouldn’t it just be a matter of time? But if they lasted long enough, the community would eventually mellow out regarding her finding a romantic partner—SNSD’s Sooyoung and her boyfriend of many years was a good example of this.

               One thing that worked out in their favor regarding this was that Jaeho wasn’t a really public figure, although Irene wouldn’t be surprised if he had a few fans from the few photoshoots he did for his side job modeling for a jeans company. While most dating scandals broke out into chaos because of two groups of fandoms going to war with each other, in her and Jaeho’s case, her fans wouldn’t have anyone to go to war to.

               The other thing that worked out in their favor was that SM simply asked for an explanation for the situation, not if she was dating. Although she strongly felt like it was implied by the language that was used in the call, if news broke again regarding her and Jaeho, it wouldn’t necessarily mean that the two had been hiding the fact that they were dating for so long. If her company specifically asked her but with more definitive evidence, she figured she could settle everything by claiming that they had only recently started dating.

               Would that be enough, though? She understood that most ReVeluvs were female, but she also understood that females could be more scathing than males.

               “What are you thinking about?” Seulgi tenderly placed a hand on Irene’s shoulder.

               She shook her head. “Nothing,” was her automatic reply, remembering their talk again and promptly following it up with, “I was just thinking about if I was doing the right thing. I don’t want to lie to my fans or put so much burden on Jaeho, but…” she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

               “It’s ok Joohyun, we’ll support you no matter what,” Joy said, sitting down a spot on her bed behind her.

               “I’m sure Jaeho would say the same thing,” Yeri added. “This time, it’ll be our turn to protect you; if you want to keep it a secret, we’ll help you.”

               Her eyes stung with newly formed tears, instinctively burying her head in her hands. “Th-Thanks, everyone.”

               “You should clarify the situation to Jaeho, right?” Seulgi reminded her, causing Irene to jump up.

               “Yeah,” she said, wiping her face and whipping out her phone again, quickly sending him an explanation. When she finished, she found the rest of the members whispering quietly amongst themselves. “What are you all talking about?”

               “Nothing,” was Seulgi’s swift reply, followed by four sets of innocent smiles.

               “Just tell me, come on,” she whined, grabbing onto Wendy who was sitting next to her.

               “Why are you grabbing onto me?” she asked, perplexed.

               “I know you’re the one most likely to tell me.”

               The other three members, seeing Wendy’s resolve crack in her eyes, quickly pulled her aside and got off the bed. “You’ll find out later~” Joy replied in a sing-song voice. “Just trust us, OK?”

               “You—” she stopped as the four girls swiftly left her bedroom. She palmed her phone for a few minutes, wondering if her company would accept her response, what would happen if they didn’t, how she needs to be careful from now on, when her thoughts were interrupted by a text from Jaeho.

‘Don’t worry about it, Joohyun. Take your time ^_^ How are you right now? Try to avoid reading comments for now, ok?’

               She smiled, thankful for her caring boyfriend. Most of the time, Irene burdened herself with being the responsible, emotionally available one because of the between her and the rest of her members. Even though Jaeho was technically younger than her, him being both close in age and being her boyfriend granted her respite from holding back for the sake of her members and let herself be spoiled by him. She took a few seconds to send him a reply.

‘Thank you, I’ll be fine though. How are you right now?’

               Deciding to not use his phone for anything other than texts and calls for the next few days to avoid reading negative comments about his girlfriend, Jaeho only noticed his phone pop up with a new notification until after he had gotten on the bus to his workplace. When he did, he smiled in kind, likewise thankful for his caring girlfriend. Although his dating style was to take care of and spoil his girlfriend, not having a consistent mother-like figure all his life led to a proclivity towards caring, motherly women like Irene. This was something he had noticed in all his girlfriends: every single one, to some extent, shared this quality.

‘Don’t worry about me! I’m on my way to work right now, but if you need my help or if you just want to talk, make sure to call me! :)’

               Shortly after Jaeho sent the text, Irene’s reply came.

‘Will do, thank you again! I’m busy most of the day, so I might not be able to text you again until tonight ^_^’

               Jaeho quickly typed out a reply after reading Irene’s response.

‘OK, take care!’

               Jaeho didn’t mention it, but he was nervous for Irene. Although he was dating an idol, he still wasn’t that knowledgeable regarding Korea’s entertainment industry. SM was top of the music industry ladder in South Korea, and Red Velvet was among the most popular girl groups in the country, Irene being among the most popular idols: because of all these factors, he figured that Irene’s company would come down hard on her, to which he felt guilty. It was partially his fault, after all, that this mess happened: while it was Irene that brought up the idea of walking outside, it was him that ultimately agreed to it. Plus, he was Irene’s boyfriend, yet he couldn’t be there for her in her time of need, which was basically the exact job of a boyfriend.

               Being the boyfriend of an idol really was hard, wasn’t it?

               He had anticipated these types of hardships, but what he didn’t anticipate was the associated guilt associated with them. He had managed to resist the urge to read comments of any of the speculative articles but could already surmise the negative impact of community backlash caused, and it gave him a terrible feeling to know that it was directed towards his girlfriend. On top of that, they were both busy and weren’t available to meet until the end of the week if they were lucky; sure, they could videocall each other, but Jaeho was a believer that nothing trumped face-to-face interaction. He wanted to barrage her with texts to make sure that she was OK, but he also didn’t want to annoy the busy idol nor throw any more suspicion onto her.

               At work, Jaeho nervously checked his phone for texts all throughout the day, but not a single text from Irene lit up his screen. It was only after he got off work that he encountered the article that ‘debunked’ the previous article with an official reply from SM, stating that the rumors were false.

               They had won the battle, but Jaeho knew things would be even more volatile now.

               If the public ever learned of the truth—if SM ever learned of the truth—then the penalty would be doubly worse. He needed to be more careful, more aware; but how long could he keep that up? Until marriage? Until Irene gets old enough that ReVuluvs will start wanting Irene to have a boyfriend, like was the case with the group comprising of men in their mid-thirties, Super Junior? Maybe the fact that he wasn’t a celebrity himself would make things a little better, not to mention that if news ever did break regarding the two dating, this picture didn’t necessarily implicate that the two have been dating ever since. Still, he knew Korean netizens were smart, resourceful, and most importantly, suspicious as all heck.

               Whatever the case was, he needed to make sure he was ready for it, whatever ‘it’ was and however long ‘it’ lasted.

               When he arrived home, he began preparing for dinner when he felt his phone vibrate again, his heart swelling with joy and relief when he saw that it was due to a notification from Irene—or rather, Irene’s phone.

               ‘This is Yeri, come to the parking lot in that bar you met Joohyun at 10:00pm today, OK? This is a surprise for her, so don’t text back. See you then!’

               Having a vague idea of what to expect, he showed up to the bar as usual, entered the secret hallway in the screening room leading to the parking lot behind the building, and found the usual van, the usual driver seated at the wheel.

               “Hello,” Jaeho greeted her as he entered the car.

               “Hello; the news made Irene really sad and stressed, so thank you for agreeing to this so suddenly,” the manager said.

               “Oh no, I should actually be thanking you for always helping me—helping us out,” he replied.

               “It’s fine, it’s been nice to see Irene be so happy recently thanks to you,” she commented.

               The conversation quickly died off after that. After being dropped off in the parking lot, he thanked the manager once again before taking the elevator up to the apartment.

               Irene didn’t know what to expect when her members suddenly pulled her out of their choreography practice early, citing the morning’s released article as a source of her stress and that she was secretly trying to hold it in for the sake of the choreography teachers. While it was true to an extent, Irene didn’t feel it was enough to justify cutting off their choreography practice this early, but she still played along with her members because of their fervent acting. The choreography teachers, being the nice people that they were, agreed to let them go early. After they showered, got changed, and boarded their van, her four members blindfolded her, insisting that they had a surprise. Irene got an idea of what they were up to when they helped her out of the car and into an elevator, but it still came as a welcome surprise when the blindfold came off and there, in front of her eyes, was Song Jaeho, with the blindfold in his hands.

               Something about it—about seeing her boyfriend, smiling in that warm, gentle way, caused that tight knot inside her—that restrictive feeling that was blocking her airways, that was giving her trouble the entire day, that was filling her with anxiety and dread—to suddenly become undone.

               “Hi Joohyun—” before Jaeho could say much more, Irene lurched forward, breaking out into a sob and wrapping her arms around him. Jaeho didn’t respond, accepting her embrace in silence, calmly her hair in a comforting fashion.

               “I-I’m sorry, I caused a bunch of trouble for us, i-if only I hadn’t suggested that we walk outside yesterday, b-but now if SM finds out then they’ll bring y-you lots of trouble, and—”

               “Shh, its OK,” Jaeho said, a smile plastering his face. Behind Irene were the other four members of Red Velvet, hiding inside the bedroom down the hall but with their heads sticking out of the door frame. He shot them a confused look, motioning with his fingers to come out, a request they readily obeyed. “I trust you and I support your decision. Don’t worry about things like that, OK?”

               Irene looked up at him, teary eyes filled with remorse and sorrow, an expression that completely floored him. Of all the expressions he had ever witnessed, even on TV and social media, none like the one Irene was wearing ignited a stronger desire to coddle and protect someone. “B-But…”

               He silenced her by lightly tapping her lips with his index finger, an action that almost instantaneously caused an explosion of pink on Irene’s face as well as an outburst of squeals from the other four girls. He simply smiled at the reaction: both his girlfriend’s as well as her groupmates’. “It’s OK, Bae Joohyun. I trust you.”

               Irene just shyly smiled in reply as the younger members whispered excitedly behind her, pressing her ear against his sternum again. “ my hair again,” she requested, closing her eyes, enjoying the warmth Jaeho’s body provided.

               He obliged, running his fingers through her silky, jet-black hair.

               “They’re so cute,” Seulgi whispered to Yeri.

               “I really want to take a picture or something,” Yeri replied, agreeing with her.

               “Are you hungry? Have you eaten yet?” Jaeho asked the woman pressed against his chest. Irene nodded, but Jaeho wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “Yes to which question?”

               “I’m hungry,” Yeri chimed in, raising her hand.

               “Me too,” Joy added.

               “Me too,” Seulgi added, smiling brightly.

               “Ok, let’s—” Jaeho removed himself from Irene’s embrace—or tried to, but she just pulled him back right away.

               “We ate right before coming here. Give them some time to digest their food first,” she told him.

               “Ah, really?”

               “That was just a snack though,” Yeri countered.

               “Then it’s OK to eat a bit more, isn’t it?” Jaeho amended to what he said earlier.

               “You can make food for the others, I’m not hungry,” Irene said, releasing him.

               “Are you sure?”

               “Yeah, I—” Irene was interrupted by a phone’s ringtone—hers, if Jaeho remembered her ringtone correctly. When she looked at the caller ID, her eyes went wide with shock and a hint of fear. She made eye contact with Jaeho briefly, and when she did, he understood the situation immediately.

               It was a cry for help. A plea that reached her eyes but not her lips, the type of terror that one got from knowing that one messed up. And knowing what happened earlier, Jaeho figured he knew exactly what the phone call was about.

               “Hello?” Irene answered her phone, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.

               “Irene, this is about that article that was released earlier,” the stern voice from the other side said. She turned away from Jaeho, partially from shame, partially as an attempt to hide her facial expression from Jaeho, but mostly so that she wouldn’t have to look at Jaeho as she handed him his one-way ticket to the hell called ‘the ugly side of the South Korean entertainment industry’. “We recently received a tip that you were disingenuous to us about your relationship status. While it is too late to pull back our official statement, it is important that we have open communication, especially about these kinds of things. Can you confirm this with us?”

               Irene was frozen. Who could it have been? Her first thought was her manager, but when she realized that it was her that picked Jaeho up, she reconsidered. There was no way it could be her members, which could only mean that someone had managed to learn of her secret. But who? “Um, sorry, I don’t know what made you think this, or who told you, but it’s not true,” she said, another pang of guilt striking her, made even worse knowing that she was denying the existence of her boyfriend when he was standing right behind her.

               “Irene, please think this through carefully. It’ll be a lot less trouble for both of us if you just admit it.”

               Irene sat on that thought. She knew that the longer the silence, the more suspicious she was, but she couldn’t bring herself to just deny it again. It wasn’t only that Jaeho was right there, it was the thought of the hardships she would put Jaeho through in SM’s search for him. The more she thought about it, the more it scared her—but at the same time, what would happen if SM found out about Jaeho? She desperately turned back around, making eye contact with her boyfriend, soundlessly begging him for an answer.

               In that situation, the dilemma Irene forced his boyfriend in, a question that really didn’t have a ‘correct’ answer, a scenario that would put the most stone-faced person in a cold sweat, Jaeho somehow managed to find the one response that put her at ease: he just smiled warmly and mouthed the words “it’s ok.”

               “I’m sorry … I just didn’t want to put him through more trouble than he was already going through, so I just thought if I could keep our relationship secret until I was ready to reveal it, no one would get hurt, but it ended up not being true. I’m sorry that I was disingenuous, but it was all my decision; I didn’t even consult him before not telling to you the first time or lying just now, and in fact, it was him that convinced me to finally tell the truth.”

               “Oh, so is he there in person with you right now?”

               Irene bit her bottom lip in frustration, not even realizing she messed up until just now. She glanced up again, to which Jaeho looked at her with a question in his eyes, yet somehow still in a way that was reassuring. Could anyone be more perfect than him? “Yes, he’s here with me right now.”

               “May I speak with him? Privately?”

               Another pang of fear struck her, hesitating to let go of her phone. She began to make a request but stopped herself, realizing that doing so probably wouldn’t help their case at all. “Yes, one second,” she said, removing the phone from her ear, hesitating again as she did so.

               “It’s ok, Joohyun,” he said again, smiling warmly and holding out his hand encouragingly.

               She nodded and handed the small handheld device. “Good luck, and sorry,” she quickly whispered to him before quickly leaving him alone, not wanting to show her boyfriend the tears of frustration lingering in her eyes.

               “Hello?”

               “Hello, is this Irene’s boyfriend?” the stern voice said from the other side of the phone.

               “Yes,” Jaeho replied, doing his best to mask the nervousness he felt. He put up a brave front for Irene, but in reality, he was one step away from completely breaking down: the only reason he didn’t was because he knew that his girlfriend needed him to be there for her, to be emotionally stable more than anything.

               “May I have your name?”

               “Song Jaeho.” A short silence followed, something Jaeho could pretty much guess the reason for. “I’m not in the entertainment industry.”

               “Oh, ok. Could I have your occupation?”

               Jaeho paused. What was the point of this question? “I’m a salesman, but I do some modeling as a side-job for a jeans company,” he replied. After a few more strange questions, such as his age, his education, the members of his family (which was to say, just his father), even specifics regarding his dating history and personal details such as how far their relationship has developed, a brief pause occurred. He gave the information out because he figured that most of it was harmless enough, although he had no clue as to why they needed it. Maybe this was the kind of information they were used to having, given how public the lives of idols were?

               “Ok, Jaeho, I’m going to be honest here. You’re not an idol nor do you seem to be that connected to the industry, so you wouldn’t understand full scale of what it means for the public to find out an idol is dating. Luckily, we managed to handle the situation earlier today pretty well, but you can be sure that it will affect Red Velvet’s sales. To an idol, sales are everything: their food, their rent, their beauty, their sustenance, and without it, they are nothing. If an idol groups can’t secure sales, they can’t live and eventually will be forced to disband or will otherwise be pushed into irrelevancy. Do you understand?”

               “Yes sir,” Jaeho answered, trying to muster as much confidence as he could.

               “That isn’t it. I’m sure you’re at least somewhat aware of this already, but idols are really busy. It’s already been reported that Irene has been skipping out on a few dance practices and meetings, as well as having turned down one CF opportunity for the reason, as stated, ‘because she felt like she was too busy already’. It should be noted that this was the first time Irene used this kind of excuse. Do you realize what this means?” Jaeho, figuring this question was rhetoric, didn’t answer. He turned out to be right as the stern voice continued with barely a pause. “Less practiced stages, less publicity not only for her but her members as well, less interaction with fans, less sales. Meanwhile, other idols, hungry for fame and success, are taking these opportunities and stealing their spotlight. I’m sure you’re already aware of the limited lifespan of the typical idol, right? Irene is rapidly approaching that age already, so she can’t afford to lose much more time. This is the peak of her popularity, and if she wastes any of it, all the work she had put into it—all of her hard work and patience, her sweat and tears, her hardships and doubts, all the nights spent dancing and singing, spent dieting and exercising, everything will disappear into thin air. You love her, don’t you?”

               “Yes sir, very much.”

               “You wouldn’t want her to have wasted more than ten years of hard work, do you?”

               “No sir, I would hate if that were to happen.”

               “Irene is the type of person who loves with intensity, and as I have stated already, her relationship hurting her career has already started to happen. For other idols, it might be possible to separate one’s professional life with one’s private life, and for other idols, it takes time, such as SNSD’s Sooyoung. For Irene, however, it can only be detrimental to her career in the long run.

               “I understand that an idol is a person too, that they also deserve love and that there were many examples of successful couples in the industry, but there are many more failures. I understand you think that maybe, you would be different, but statistically it’s unlikely. If you have a specific reason as to why your relationship with Irene would be different, then I would love to hear it. Otherwise, please keep everything I’ve said in mind if you decide to continue your relationship with Irene.”

               The call hung up with that bombshell dropped onto Jaeho.

               Of course, he considered the negatives of him dating Irene: he didn’t want to take away from her career, which was why he was more than willing to have long periods of time without seeing her in person despite how much he valued it. He considered them for sure, but never for too long nor to the extent that was just presented to him, and now that he uncovered to the reality of the situation on top of learning all Irene had done for his sake, he felt terrible.

               Was he really sabotaging Irene’s career that much? Red Velvet’s career? Was he giving Irene enough happiness to make up for everything he was taking away from her? From her members?

               Jaeho collapsed onto the couch, Irene’s phone still in hand, every milliliter of strength in his body gone. ‘Guilty’ didn’t even begin to describe what he felt: frustration, anger, annoyance, shame … what was a disingenuous, selfish, hypocritical person like him doing with an angel like Bae Joohyun?

               He got up, leaving Irene’s phone on the couch, and headed for the foyer; however, before he could put his shoes on, Irene stepped out of the bedroom.

               “Honey?”

               Jaeho froze.

               It was the first time Irene called him something like this, and damn was it effective. Jaeho could just about feel his heart breaking—but he knew better. He continued putting on his shoes while talking. “Joo—Irene, I’m sorry.”

               “Wha—?”

               “For everything. I’m really sorry. I—”

               “What do you mean?” Her voice got louder yet somehow meeker at the same time, more vulnerable and more scared.

               “—I didn’t know what I was doing. I thought that—”

               “Jaeho? Honey?” Tears were beginning to form in Irene’s eyes at this point, now having a good idea of what had just happened: and while she couldn’t help but feel betrayed at first, the foremost thing she felt was desperation.

               “—that I could make you happy, but I didn’t know what you were sacrificing.”

               Jaeho froze again when he felt Irene’s arms wrap around him. “What did they tell you? Why are you like this?” He could feel the tears staining his shirt which made it all the more difficult. So, he steeled his heart and pushed on, knowing it was for Irene’s benefit—and he knew that if he truly loved Irene, this is what he should do.

               “You’ve been skipping practice sessions and meetings, right? And also, you turned down a CF offer? Was that one also because of me?”

               Jaeho didn’t mean to blurt it out, but he just felt frustrated at that point: not at Irene, no, he could never feel that towards her—towards himself. Towards his weakness, towards his inability to just walk away from her. Why did his body feel so heavy? Since when was taking a few steps such a mountainous task?

               “Jaeho—I mean, yes, but—”

               “Then it’s been me who has been hurting your career, hasn’t it?” There it was again. His weakness. “Not only your career, but all of Red Velvet?” Why was he so unbelievably weak? Just walk away, Jaeho. The more he stayed there, the less willing he would be to leave. “I’m sorry, Irene. I can’t just stand here, knowing that I’m ruining all the hard work you’ve put into this profession. If you were in my position, I think you would understand.”

               With those words, he ripped himself from Irene’s embrace.

               “Jaeho!” Irene was sobbing at this point, tears streaming down her face like a waterfall. There was but one thought that occupied her mind in that moment: how could she make Jaeho stay? “Honey, it’s not like that!”

               She rushed out the door, still wearing her slippers, attempting to grab Jaeho’s hand but failing. “Jaeho, please!”

               Right after she said those words, a rush of wind blew past her, and before she could even comprehend what was happening, four women had Jaeho trapped in their grips: her groupmates.

               “Jaeho, you should at least hear Joohyun out first before making this decision,” Wendy said softly, gently, with a hint of tears in her voice.

               “Pl-Please?” Yeri’s normally loud voice was reduced to naught but a soft whimper. Irene hadn’t even noticed, but the eyes of her four groupmates were also reflecting the bright lights of the building.

               “We won’t let you go until you do,” Joy added.

               Jaeho, finding himself unable to move, acquiesced with a sigh. “Irene—”

               “It’s true that I skipped dance practices and meetings. But they were all optional in the first place, and I’ve skipped them for other reasons too—because I was too tired, because it was raining too hard, because I had to wake up early the next day, so it’s not like skipping them for you was even that ridiculous. In fact, out of everything I just listed, I would count it as the least ridiculous reason.” Irene stopped to wipe the tears off her face and take a calming deep breath before continuing.

               “And as for that CF that I declined; it was true that I declined it because I wanted to spend more time with you, but that time I chose to instead spend with you does have a positive impact on me. I’ve recently taken on lyric writing and songwriting because I’ve started dating you, something I always lacked the motivation for. My performances and appearances, both on Instagram lives as well as shows, have been more energetic ever since I started dating you. Ever since I started dating you—ever since I met you, I’ve been a happier person. Maybe it’s true that dating you has some drawbacks, but there are many, many more benefits.”

               Jaeho remained silent. He didn’t know what to say. Was the person he was talking to just exaggerating everything? No, that wasn’t what Irene seemed to be implying. He wanted to trust Irene more than that stern voice, but he didn’t know if that was the right choice. Irene was a biased party, after all, but wasn’t the person he was just talking to also biased? Not towards any one person, but towards the direction of maximized profits?

               “Jaeho, if you left me right now, there would be many more bad things that would come than good. If anything, that’s the best reason for us to stay together.” She wrapped her arms once again around Jaeho when she finished talking and pressed her face against his back, the other four having released their grip on him and slighting back into the apartment. This—their current position—honestly was something she really enjoyed because Jaeho’s back was actually pretty muscular, but she didn’t back hug him often because always she felt too embarrassed to directly ask for it—so if anything, at least one good thing came out of this situation, at least for Irene. “You love me, right? Don’t you want the best for me?”

               “…Yeah, I do,” Jaeho replied solemnly.

               “Then I’m afraid you’re stuck with me forever,” she said in a cute manner, a smile on her lips, “Because no longer being with you will always be my worst nightmare.”

               Hearing that, Jaeho broke out into a laugh, Irene shortly following suit. “Isn’t that a little bit too cheesy?”

               “What?” she said defensively, reluctantly removing herself from him. Jaeho turned around to face Irene, who was shocked to find the normally smiling, bright Jaeho having hints of tears in his eyes. “How about you just now? Wasn’t it too much like a K-Drama?”

               Jaeho smiled and shook his head, his gaze fixed on the ground. “I—let’s go inside first, actually,” he suggested, motioning back to the apartment. In doing so, he noticed that the remaining four Red Velvet members were anxiously waiting at the apartment’s entrance, now all wearing smiles.

               “I’ll make some soup,” Wendy offered, rushing off to the kitchen.

               “I’ll help,” Seulgi said, rushing after her. “Yeri, you can stay.”

               Yeri, who was also preparing herself to follow them, frowned. “Why? I can help, I promise!”

               “We’ll find some other way to help, come on,” Joy said, grabbing Yeri by the hand and leading her into the kitchen. It wasn’t something Jaeho caught, but definitely didn’t go by unnoticed by Irene: they were giving the two some private time, which she was thankful for.

               When the couple seated themselves, Jaeho resumed. “I—… when I had processed all the information that was given to me just now in that phone call, I think I was just really overwhelmed and frustrated with myself. I think those emotions—anger, guilt, among others—made me not think properly and not think to give you a chance to speak.” Jaeho paused briefly, lost for words and ashamed of his behavior, but reassured when Irene slipped her hand in his. “I’m sorry I acted that way. It was really childish of me, but I was scared I was doing everything wrong and being selfish, and the last thing I wanted to do was get in the way of your career and Red Velvet’s success, so I…”

               “I forgive you,” Irene picked up the conversation shortly after Jaeho trailed off on that word, “But only on one condition.”

               Jaeho was sort of thrown off by Irene’s snappy response, so he hesitated briefly when he gave his response. “…Yes?”

               “Promise to never again threaten to break up with me.”

               All it took was one glance at Irene’s adorable set of begging, large puppy-dog eyes adorned with a pout on her lips to cause him to reply with, “Alright, I promise.”

               The pout instantly turned into a smile. “That’s all I need,” she said in a wispy voice filled with content.

               “Aww, that’s so cute,” Yeri’s loud whisper came from just outside the living room just as Irene finished her sentence, unintentionally overpowering the sudden silence of the apartment. “Oh, sorry,” she said when she realized what happened, laughing.

               “Kim Yeri,” Irene said, turning to face her. “Weren’t you supposed to be helping with Joy make something?”

               She shrugged, Joy behind her. “We couldn’t find anything to do, so we just watched Wendy and Seulgi for a bit before we got bored and came here.”

               “Come,” Irene beckoned to the younger pair with her free hand, “Sit down with us.”

               “First,” Joy abruptly said, staying where she was while Yeri moved towards the living room’s couch, “Jaeho, you know that Joohyun doesn’t cry often, right? Even in front of us, she doesn’t cry much. I’m sure all our members share this sentiment, but if you ever make Joohyun cry again, we’ll—”

               “Ah, that’s enough Sooyoung,” Irene said with a smile on her face, waving her off, “No need to be dramatic.”

               “No, this is serious,” Joy insisted, not sharing her leader’s smile. “We’ll seriously never forgive you, alright?”

               Irene moved to wave her off again, but Jaeho stopped her, nodding sincerely. “I wouldn’t forgive myself either. From now on, I’ll try harder, OK?”

               Joy nodded happily, content with that response, joining the two on the couch next to their leader. “Things are really going to get harder, huh?” Irene speculated mournfully.

               And harder it got. Although Irene didn’t have direct proof that SM was messing with her, it certainly seemed that way. When the company asked Irene about her boyfriend the next day and Irene informed them that they were still together, a series of ‘coincidences’ occurred.

               The next day, after she was done with her schedules and heading home, preparing for her videocall with Jaeho, she was notified that she was needed to help some trainees with their practice by giving them a demonstration. While she could tell them ‘no’, it felt like it was a bad idea to at the time given the discourse between her and her company. This happened several more times throughout the following weeks, with a few more things happening: fan meetings were suddenly planned, more mandatory and unnecessarily frequent meetings about random things happened, ranging from topics such as their next comeback to upcoming concert tours to more trivial things like exploring personal talents for variety shows or trying to open avenues of learning things. While there wasn’t much SM could do to impede their texting, Irene eventually had to resort to video-calling Jaeho on the car to just be able to see him, sacrificing the bit of sleep she got on the car to do so.

               Jaeho, during this whole time, was still being extremely patient with Irene, never questioning when she forgot to send him a ‘good night’ text, nor when she was unable to keep a promise to videocall him at night, nor when she suddenly had to cancel plans to meet at the apartment. Irene was becoming more and more agitated at this not-so-subtle attack on their relationship but had very little to counteract it in ways that didn’t involve unreasonable favors from others. The breaking point was when her videocall with Jaeho got abruptly cut off by a call from an SM executive.

               Knowing she couldn’t turn down the call, she reluctantly hung up on Jaeho and accepted the call, her suspicions all but confirmed when she learned that it was an update on her relationship status with Jaeho. Fed up with everything that had transpired, she had to actively calm herself down in their conversation and not blow up at the person on the other side of the call. When the call ended, Irene decided that enough was enough.

               Her secret wasn’t something she told many people—just a few very close industry friends—so she was hesitant at first to attempt to contact a senior idol in SM, but when she consulted Yeri about her plan to directly complain to SM about it, Yeri shot Taeyeon a text without a second thought.

               Shortly afterwards, Yeri managed to get the legendary singer on a videocall and handed her phone over to Irene.

               “Oh, Joohyun! Hi, how are you!” Taeyeon’s bright voice filled the car, her radiant smile filling the screen. Irene was always amazed whenever she had the chance to see her: every time they met, without fail, she seemed so ethereal that it felt like a blessing that they were in the same company, much less a good friend of her groupmate.

               “Hello, Taeyeon,” Irene bowed as much as she could while holding the phone, smiling. “I’m actually going through some troubles right now, but that’s actually a little bit of the reason why Yeri called you for me.”

               Taeyeon nodded, suddenly becoming serious. “So what happened?”

               “Well, SM found out about my boyfriend—”

               “You have a boyfriend?” Taeyeon’s excited inquiry jarred Irene for a second, of which Taeyeon apologized for. “So that article a few days ago was about your boyfriend?”

               “Y-Yeah,” she replied quietly, embarrassed by the explosive expression of emotion from her senior, having somehow forgotten that Taeyeon didn’t know about Jaeho.

               “Oh, good for you! What’s his name? What does he do?”

               “Song Jaeho, he’s a salesman with a side-job as a model for jeans.”

               “Wow, congratulations! How long ago was this?” Taeyeon’s interrogation continued, the older idol smiling in a very motherly fashion, something Irene was not used to at all.

               “U-Um, a couple of months by now? Almost three?” she answered, trying to pay no attention to the giggling Yeri in the background.

               “Ah, really? Wow, that’s quite some time already. So you’re getting ready for your 100^th day anniversary, huh? Do you have any plans?”

               When Irene was thinking about contacting Taeyeon about her situation, she prepared many things: how she’d describe what was happening, potential ideas she had, finding ways to describe the importance of Jaeho to her … she prepared many things, but this kind of interrogation certainly was not one of them. “Um, I have some ideas, but we haven’t really settled on anything yet.”

               “Wow, that’s exciting, huh? I—”

               “Taeyeon,” Yeri butted in, appearing behind Irene, “Remember why Joohyun wanted to talk to you?”

               “…Ah, that’s right!” Taeyeon said, laughing sheepishly. “Sorry, Joohyun.”

               “Ah, no, it’s OK!”

               “I got a bit carried away. What was it that was troubling you?”

               Irene sighed. “Well, our company found out a few weeks ago and they don’t support it, and recently, my schedule has been more packed with activities: more meetings, suddenly planned events, requests for demonstrations for trainees or other public appearances, and so on.” Irene couldn’t help but notice that Taeyeon was already pointedly frowning, which gave her a feeling of vindication, like she wasn’t crazy to imagine that everything was a targeted attack. “I’ve mostly been just going along with it because I thought that maybe this was a test or something and that it would be over soon, but now it’s been a little more than two weeks, it’s getting really frustrating, and I still don’t know why SM opposes my relationship with Jaeho so much.”

               “Ok, I see,” Taeyeon nodded after Irene concluded, wearing a discontented frown. “That’s really unfair, I agree. Do you want me to complain to them about it?”

               “Ah, no no no, I don’t want to trouble you like that—”

               “Joohyun-ah, it’s fine. Trust me, OK? Should I tell—oh, you probably don’t want many others to know, huh?” Irene nodded. “OK, in that case … who does know in SM? Just your groupmates?” Irene again responded with just a nod. “Let’s all start by going together and complaining to them. Jaeho can join us if he has the time.”

               “Taeyeon, if it’s too much trouble for you, we can just go by ourselves,” Irene offered.

               “Don’t worry about it. I will help you; they shouldn’t be so strict when you’ve already worked so hard for them, right? When are you all free, do you know?”

               It felt a bit strange to plan something like this, especially when considering that her senior Taeyeon was helping, in addition to Jaeho. The first time the two met was inside the SM building, and the first words Taeyeon offered him (after a greeting) was a comment on how handsome he was. If Irene was honest, when Jaeho thanked Taeyeon in a flustered manner, telling her that she looked better in person than on TV, a deep pang of jealousy struck at her chest.

               In retaliation, Irene grabbed his hand possessively in the elevator up, using the small chance they had to catch up, as they haven’t seen each other in person over a week. Their conversation relieved Irene of some of her butterflies and granted her confidence, Taeyeon’s encouragement also helping in that regard. Apparently, Taeyeon herself made the appointment after they decided on the date, so all they had to do was just walk into his office after checking in with his secretary.

               “Taeyeon—oh, hello,” the CEO of SM Entertainment said, smiling with his eyes in the warm, fatherly way that he did, “Red Velvet! I didn’t expect you. And you must be Irene’s boyfriend—Song Jaeho, was it?”

               “Yes, it’s nice to meet you,” Jaeho bowed, significantly more nervous than Irene, his actions and words coming out stiff in response.

               Lee Soo Man, noticing this, added, “No need to be so nervous, son, I don’t bite. What did you want to see me for, Taeyeon?”

               Taeyeon, who was completely composed compared to Jaeho, answered, “Irene has been running into some problems with her schedule. Her managers have been overloading her schedule, and it has not only been making her more tired than usual, it’s also preventing her from meeting Jaeho.”

               “Ah, really?” the CEO said, concern in his eyes.

               “It started after I was called the second time to confirm if I was in a relationship or not,” Irene explained, “they told Jaeho something that convinced him to break up with me but I convinced him otherwise, so after they started doing all of this, it really seemed like they were trying to keep us separate. I just thought that it was really unfair because they seem to think that my relationship with Jaeho is a bad thing, but in fact, I’ve benefitted a lot from it; I’ve taken up songwriting and in general have had more energy in performances and livestreams.”

               “Ah, is that so? I wasn’t aware of this at all, actually; I was just under the impression that Irene’s schedule got busier because more opportunities came up. I’m sorry, I’ll immediately talk to them.”

               Irene blinked, glancing over at Jaeho in confusion as Lee Soo Man made a note on his notepad. She had many more things planned to tell him, but was that all? Did it just take a brief conversation with him? “Thank you,” Irene said hesitantly, trying to hide the confusion on her face.

               “Was there anything else? Jaeho, we should get a drink when we’re both free; I like to know the significant others of my artists, especially if they aren’t in the industry,” he said, jovial.

               “Yes sir,” he replied, doing his best to put the most natural-looking smile he could muster.

               “If there isn’t anything else, then if you don’t mind, I have a meeting to prepare for.”

               “No, there was nothing else. Thank you,” Taeyeon said, revealing her confused expression when she motioned the rest to follow her out of the office. When the door closed behind them, she spoke out. “That was strange.”

               “I know right?” Yeri piped in, “I thought we were all here to beg him, but he apparently didn’t even know what was happening?”

               “I—” Taeyeon paused and waited until the elevator doors close fully before saying, “I think that he did have a good idea of what they were doing but didn’t know it had such a negative effect on Irene. You know, our CEO is pretty good at reading people, and he could probably tell just from looking at Irene and hearing that short speech the kind of effect separating you two,” she motioned to both Jaeho and Irene, “would have on Irene. They’ll probably still give you two a hard time, but it won’t be as blatant. On the positive side though, you’ll be able to meet each other more often!”

               “Thank you, Taeyeon-sunbaenim, you really helped us out here,” Irene said again, bowing after getting out of the elevator.

               “Thank you for helping us out,” Jaeho repeated after his girlfriend, bowing in kind. The four Red Velvet members followed in suit, causing Taeyeon to be flustered.

               “Ah, stop that, it’s only natural,” she insisted, chuckling, “It’s from the idol of the older generation to the newer one. SNSD had these problems too, you know? That’s why I was so ready to help you all out, so you really don’t need to thank me that much,” she concluded, but then added, “Actually, there’s one thing you can do.”

               “What is it?” Irene eagerly asked as they exited the building, Jaeho staying inside the building for a bit longer so as to not draw any suspicion.

               “So, what are your 100^th day anniversary plans? Do you want my help with that as well?”

               Irene blushed again, totally caught off guard by the much too excited Taeyeon. “Um, well, Jaeho told me he would handle most of the preparations,” Irene told her, making sure to use a low, soft voice, not wanting to risk anyone overhearing them.

               “Ah, so what you’re trying to say is that you want me to stay out of it, right?”

               The members of Red Velvet burst into laughter as Taeyeon dejectedly looked away, feigning a hurt expression. “You have it wrong, that wasn’t my intention,” Irene laughed, grabbing Taeyeon’s arm.

               “It’s OK, I know when to take a hint,” the older idol continued playing the role of the older sister, disappointed that her younger sibling outgrew her. “Make sure to have fun.”

               The results of the short talk they had with the CEO of SM Entertainment were immediate: her nights suddenly opened up, allowing the two to return to their usual nighttime video-calling, Irene’s schedule also cleared up bit by bit, but as Taeyeon predicted, things were far from concluding. She could still tell that her company opposed her and Jaeho’s relationship from subtle things like their managers checking up on her other groupmates about having a boyfriend to bringing up random topics during meetings relating to dating, namely the downsides to it (not having time for each other, breaking up, the like).

               So when it came time for their 100^th day anniversary celebration, Irene made sure she had fun with Jaeho. It wasn’t anything particularly special, upon the request of Irene herself: they cooked dinner together, and after eating dinner, they baked pastries together and ate some of it, packing it up for Irene to bring back to the other Red Velvet members later.

               Afterwards, things got a bit hectic; Jaeho had initially just planned a fun 2-player Nintendo Switch game followed by learning to ballroom dance from a CD, but it gradually devolved into a mini, 2-person disco/karaoke party that may or may not have been initiated thanks to alcohol. After Jaeho suddenly realized how late it had gotten, he tried to rush Irene home when she revealed that she didn’t have a schedule the following morning. Perplexed, Jaeho joked if that meant she didn’t intend to go home, something Irene didn’t answer with words.

               Irene did indeed have fun that night. Maybe a bit too much fun.

Having too much fun? What does that mean, what do you guys think?

If you were wondering what the mysterious, vague description of this story was all about, you'll find out next chapter, so make sure to stay tuned! As always, if you liked this chapter, make sure to subscribe/upvote and comment below what you thought of this chapter.

That's all for now, see you next week! :D