Chapter 4 - The woman on the picture

After seeing that the letter and the keychain were gone, Youngeun rushed over to the security room to check the CCTV cameras. The guard, who already knew who she was, helped her to check. Someone had been here? That person was wearing all black, a baseball cap and a facemask. It was definitely him, she knew it. His posture, his movements, even the way he was avoiding to show any parts of his face to the camera. She was sure! What was the meaning of this? Why would he come to visit his own grave… how did he even know about it? The next few days she kept checking different cameras to find out about his whereabouts. After endless hours of searching, they finally spotted him at a long-distance bus station. The problem, however, was that he could’ve taken any bus possible as there were no cameras outside the main waiting hall. He could be anywhere in Korea by now…

Youngeun was so frustrated, but when she got home Seulgi had cooked a meal for them, which she rarely did. Seulgi had been in a really good mood lately as well, which was why Youngeun didn’t want to spread her negative energy. Her mood helped Youngeun to calm herself down a little.

“How’s work lately? Is something interesting going on?” Seulgi asked. Youngeun didn’t know what to answer though. She didn’t want to tell Seulgi anything about Soohyun in case they wouldn’t be able to find him. She wasn’t even allowed to tell her, but she still wanted to. Youngeun was constantly questioning herself. How far was she going to go for him? She was already breaking the rules, so why not tell Seulgi… But Seulgi had seen too many terrible things in her life to get her hopes up for nothing. That fact that Kim Soohyun was alive wouldn’t help her out of despair, as it would only give her sleepless nights. Youngeun felt so bad. She didn’t take enough care of Seulgi lately, as she was obsessed with finding Soohyun. She had even forgotten about herself.

“You know maybe you should go on a vacation”, Seulgi suggested.

“I can’t… there’s a lot going on at the police station right now. We have a crucial case at the moment”.

“How about Busan?” Seulgi ignored her.

“Did you not hear what I just said?” Youngeun . She knew that Seulgi was trying to brighten up her mood, but it always made her feel bad. She was supposed to take care of her not the other way around.

“You never know, you might find what you’re searching for if you go…” she said while smiling at Youngeun. The thought of just going somewhere was very appealing to her right now, however, she couldn’t. She had to find him before someone else would. Wherever he was at that moment, he wasn’t safe. At the same time, Youngeun was scared, that he might have left the country already. She didn’t know how wide his network was or what other alternatives he had in the back of his hand. She thought about too many things at the same time. What would she even do when she would find him? He surely wouldn’t cooperate with the police and Youngeun was doubting he would listen to her. She pushed away these thoughts… she had to find him first, and then she would think about the consequences.

A few days later there was still no sign of him anywhere. Even though they started using all kinds of face recognition software. It was driving Youngeun crazy. Where in the world did he go? Youngeun was so angry and anxious at the same time, that she was questioning everything. Why was she even searching for him this desperately? Why couldn’t she just let go of him?

Seulgi was getting annoyed by Youngeun’s mood as well.

“Why aren’t you just taking vacation already?” Seulgi said on a Friday night.

“I know I’ve been a bit out of it lately… I know that… but I can’t go anywhere right now. We have an important case going on at the moment”, Youngeun said without looking Seulgi in her eyes.

All of a sudden Seulgi became so angry that she threw the plates off the table. “If you’re not going to bring him home, I will!” she screamed.

Youngeun was a little perplexed. What in the world was going on right now? “Seulgi, I don’t know what you mean…” Youngeun started but was interrupted by Seulgi.

“I know what you’ve been hiding from me!” she yelled again. Youngeun just looked at her patiently, her heart was beating like it was about to pop out of her chest. Seulgi knew… there was only one thing Youngeun was hiding from her, but she still had a tiny bit of hope that Seulgi was talking about something different. However, Seulgi just cried quietly without saying anything. She just looked down on her hands. Youngeun stood up and put her arm around Seulgi. For a while, Youngeun just embraced her to comfort her. “If I say it out loud it will change everything…” Seulgi sobbed. Youngeun was scared to say something because her voice was most likely to break.

“A few weeks ago…” Seulgi started, “I went into his apartment just to check if everything was fine. Then I saw his laptop on the desk wasn’t closed. I immediately knew something wasn’t right because you wouldn’t even touch it, so I turned it on to check”.

Youngeun was so nervous she couldn’t even move. Seulgi looked her with her big teary eyes. “His search history isn’t deleted… do you know what that means? I think… I’m sure he wants you to find him”, Seulgi finished. Youngeun was finally able to move. She sat down on the chair next to Seulgi and just looked at the table. For a while, both of them were just in their own train of thoughts until Seulgi took Youngeun’s hand. “I’m sorry that I screamed at you… but I was so scared to tell you that my emotions just exploded” Seulgi said. Youngeun understood, of course, she did. Ever since Soohyun left their lives, both of them had turned into ticking time bombs. “Don’t worry, you were right to do so”, Youngeun said.

“What are you going to do now?” Seulgi asked her with a whispering voice.

“Well… first, you have to tell me exactly what you know”, Youngeun suggested. It turned out that Seulgi knew almost nothing new. She didn’t see Soohyun anywhere, she also didn’t overhear any conversation Youngeun ever had. The only assumption was the laptop. When Youngeun asked, why she didn’t try to say something earlier, Seulgi said that she was scared. She was scared that she might just hallucinate things or that all of it would be a dream. She was so scared that it wasn’t real that it kept her up at night.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you try to look for him yourself?” Youngeun finally asked her, after Seulgi calmed down.

“I don’t know… maybe I was scared. And I think I’m not the one to find him” Seulgi answered.

“Are you sure he wants to be found?” Youngeun finally asked.

“Go and see for yourself”, Seulgi suggested.

Youngeun wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do at that moment. After talking with Seulgi for a long time, she decided to go to the apartment next door to find out what Seulgi meant. She entered the apartment and looked around. Nothing looked suspicious to her. Everything was exactly as it was supposed to be. Finally, she went to the bedroom. The desk with the laptop was right next to the bed facing the window. The laptop was closed, however, Seulgi told her she closed it in order to not give the police anything to be suspicious of. If Youngeun wouldn’t have known she wouldn’t have paid attention to it. She was a police officer herself but Seulgi trusted her enough to let her find him herself. Youngeun opened the laptop and turned it on. There was no password needed, which was the first thing that was uncommon. A person who had lived two different lives at the same time for years didn’t have a computer password… Next, she opened the internet browser and looked at the search history. It showed nothing but one website. Also, it was used on the exact day Kim Soohyun broke out of the hospital. Youngeun tried to remember that day. She went to this apartment to see if he was here. At that time, she couldn’t remember whether the laptop was open or not, but Seulgi said she found it open… The website that was remaining in the search history was the website of a fishery in Busan. Youngeun looked up the address, location, and surrounding area. The fishery was located in an industrial sector next to the harbor. Youngeun knew exactly why he chose this location. It was easy to hide…

Youngeun didn’t need anything else to make a decision. She called her team and asked for a week of vacation, saying that she was exhausted and needed time for herself. The team captain agreed because he knew how emotionally drained she was. It wasn’t exactly a lie that she needed time either way. Then she booked a hotel room close to the harbor in a remote area. Then, she deleted the entire search history, so no one would be able to find anything.

Youngeun turned off the computer, stood up, and looked around. What was she even doing? Ever since she knew he was alive, no, even before that fact she did things that were wrong. She was a police officer, who was supposed to help find a killer in order to clean the country of corruption and murderous people. Instead, she stole evidence, deleted important files and tried to cover up someone’s traces. Youngeun was slowly wondering who she really was. “What am I gonna do when I find you…”, she whispered into the dark. She wasn’t even sure…

The same night Youngeun told Seulgi about her plan to find him, packed her stuff, and took the first train to Busan. She arrived in the late afternoon and checked in at her hotel. During the train ride, she was thinking about it over and over. What was she supposed to do? She didn’t have an answer. If he was really there and she found him, it meant he wanted to be found. However, what was she supposed to do… if she was here as a police officer, she should take him into custody, bring him back to Seoul and prepare him for a trail. If she was here due to her personal feeling, then she had no clue. She tried to convince herself that she was here as a cop, but she knew that she was here because she wanted to see him.

It was easy to find the fishery, almost a bit too easy… She looked around and understood why he was hiding here. The fishery was big, a dozen container ships were in the harbor and most of the people didn’t look like they had the most stable and ordinary life. Not just the smell of fish was too fishy around here. Everything looked kind of shady and to some sort illegal. It was clear that ordinary people didn’t come by in this area. It looked as if all sorts of thugs would roam around in this area, which didn’t make Youngeun concerned but at least all of her senses were sharpened here. After walking around and examining the area for a bit, she finally found the main office of the fishery. Inside there was only one desk with some sort of reception, where an old man sitting.

“Hi, I’m searching for a friend that works here”, Youngeun started. But the old man just shook his hand.

“If you have questions about the fishermen you have to ask the boss. He should be in the big fishing hall. Go out the door, then left and go straight to a big building with a massive blue door”.

Youngeun was confused. This man was too old to be working in the first place, but he also didn’t seem like he wanted to work. Youngeun didn’t really ask anything and just followed his lead. She found the building right away and just entered casually. There were a lot of people working in the hall, which looked a bit like a construction hall filled with fish tanks. She straight-up walked to the first person she saw to ask for the boss. The man said the boss should be in the back, so Youngeun kept walking inside. No one seemed to care about her until she found a tall middle-aged man. The way he was talking to the others made it seem as if he would be the man with authority in this place. Youngeun didn’t want to waste any more time and just went straight up to him.

“Excuse me Sir, are you the boss here?” she asked.

The man just looked at her with a grumpy face and said: “depends who’s asking the question”.

“I am actually just searching for a friend of mine, his name is Kim Soohyun and I’ve heard that he’s working for you”, she continued.

“I don’t know a man by this name, sorry. Also, I have to keep working so please mind your business elsewhere and leave. This isn’t a place for a young lady like you…” he said and continued his work.

Youngeun was sure the boss was saying the truth. She was an experienced cop, she knew right away if a person would lie to her. This man didn’t. This man really didn’t know a man named Kim Soohyun. Maybe he already left Busan… just thinking about it made Youngeun desperate again. She had to keep digging and find him, there was no other option. She would just try to keep searching around here first. Just when she left the hall a young worker came running after her.

“Miss, wait up!” he said. Youngeun just looked at him confused. “You’re that woman on the picture! I recognized you right away!” he said slightly out of breath.

“What picture are you talking about?” Youngeun wanted to know.

“Minseok’s picture”, he replied, “he looks at it all the time”.

Youngeun was confused. Who in the world was Minseok? “At first I thought I’m seeing a ghost, but it seems you’re real!” the man continued.

“Wait for a second, what exactly do you mean?” Youngeun wanted to know.

“Well you’re the lady on Lee Minseok’s picture, but last time I asked him about it he told me the woman was dead. That’s all he ever said about it. You’re here to search for him aren’t you?” the man said.

“Yes… I mean no… the man I’m searching for is called Kim Soohyun”.

“How come Minseok has a picture of you then?” the man wondered.

“I would like to know the same… where is this Lee Minseok now?” Youngeun wanted to know.

“He’s still out fishing on the big boat. They are not going to be back before tomorrow night”, the man said, “but I can tell him you came by if you want”.

“No!” Youngeun said in a panic. “No, please don’t… Maybe… maybe I can give you my phone number and then you call me when he’s back. It will be a surprise then!” Youngeun said eagerly.

The young worker seemed to not have noticed how nervous and confused Youngeun was. She was 99% sure that this Lee Minseok was Kim Soohyun. Why else would he leave obvious traces about his whereabouts? The picture also proved that he was in his old apartment. The letter and the keychain were gone as well. The only thing she was scared more than facing him was the case that this Lee Minseok was a different person and not the one she was searching for.