Goldilocks and the Three Bears

re-named Kyuhyun and the Three Nuissances

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Kyuhyun. He was a brat who, whenever he wasn't doing his homework (which was never because geniuses don't do homework because they're too good for that), played games all day long, much to his parents displeasure. How was their fine, young boy supposed to grow up to be an amazing accountant with fancy spinning chairs and neat cubicles to work in if he didn't try harder? (Not that they cared if he wanted that or not, because they're his parents, and what they say goes, no exceptions.)

It was a Sunday afternoon, Kyuhyun's favorite day to waste on the computer, when his parents unplugged his computer (he threw a fit at that) and kicked him out of the house. "Go do something!" they yelled at him. He had no idea what they wanted him to do, though. What could he possible do outside of his home that would be of any use?

His hands stuffed into his pockets grudingly, he trudged away from the house, dragging his feet on the dirt. There was a forest near his house - which he found ridiculous because he thought cities didn't have woods - and he remembered going there as a child. He didn't remember much, though, because all he can really decipher from his memories are giggles and pink frill. He shuddered at the thought.

Pushing past some branches, he delved into the dark woods. The leaves covered a lot of the sunlight from reaching him, but Kyuhyun didn't mind. He didn't really like the sun to begin with. He wished he brought his iPod though - his PSP would be better - as he walked and walked and walked.

A breeze hit him, and he shivered in response. It was just like him to leave without a jacket, he thought bitterly. He was about to turn back when a glimpse of something rather sparkly caught his eye. He moved towards it, avoiding stepping on any of the mud puddles that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Right when he thought he was just seeing things, a voice called out for him.

"Kyu!" it sang quietly. Kyuhyun almost jumped, startled. Who was calling him? No one even called him by that, except for his sister, but she was out at college. His parents never addressed him by such a "childish" name.

"Who's that?" he asked, confidently nonetheless. Typical Kyuhyun.

"Hey! Be respectful!" the voice snapped, a little more demanding than before. "I'm older than you, you know!"

"Doesn't sound like it," Kyuhyun snorted, crossing his arms.

"Why I oughta -"

"Minnie, who's that?"

"Donghae? When did you get ba -"

"WE'RE OUT OF TOILET PAPER!"

"HYUKJAE, SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE AND LOOK UNDER THE FAUCET!"

"I CAN'T REACH THAT FAR!"

"I'll help!"

"WAIT, NO, DONGHAE, DON'T COME IN -"

"OH GOD WHAT IS THAT SMELL?! DID YOU EAT BEANS FOR BREAKFAST, HYUKKIE?"

"WHAT?! NO, I -"

"SHUT UP!" Kyuhyun finally yelled, his head pounding from all of the screaming. Odd enough, though, because he had no idea where it was coming from.

"WHO IS THAT? AND WHY IS HE SO RUDE?"

"I swear, Hyukjae, if you don't shut up, I will pour your strawberry milk down the river."

Then all was silent.

"Hello?" Kyuhyun called out experimentally. When no one answered, he frowned. He was not going crazy. He did not make up those voices. Nuh uh. Determined to find those voices (and prove himself sane), he trudged further and further into the forest.

He began to lose hope of finding them (whoever they were) when he noticed a small cottage. The light hit it perfectly, as if it was meant to be found, and Kyuhyun quietly thanked God for discovering it. He needed to pee badly, but there was no way he'd stoop so low as to pee behind a tree. Especially with weird voices being everywhere, and who knows if their erts or not. Who knows.

He knocked once on the sickenly pink door, then twice, and finally thrice. When no one answered, he simply turned the door knob and pushed his way through. He called around for anyone, but no one replied.

"Well, this is a bit odd, and creepy," he said outloud to himself, noting all of the mismatched designs decorating the wall, from fishes to bananas. Yes, very odd indeed. Deciding it wouldn't harm the owners if he just allowed himself to use the bathroom, he did his business quickly, holding his breath as he did. (It smelled terrible in there!)

When he was done, panting from holding his breath for so long, he noticed there was ramen on the kitchen table. He looked around, but again, there was no one. It was odd, since the food seemed to be just made. He didn't think twice about it when he sat down and started eating the first bowl.

"Ouch!" he yelped. "Why is this so spicy?! Who eats that much spice with their ramen?!" Scowling, he pushed it away, fanning his face. He made a move for the second bowl, and after taking a bite, he spit it out. "It's so cold! I thought these were fresh!" He got up and dumped it in the sink, disappointed. He was about to leave when he saw there was a third bowl. Without many expectations this time, he hesitatingly picked up the chopsticks and took a bite.

He blinked once. Twice. "Wow," he said outloud. "This is exactly how I eat my ramen!" And so he continued eating hungrily, enjoying every bite he took until it was all gone. When he was done, he realized he ate too fast and had to sit down. Clutching his stomach, he made his way to the living room.

The first chair he sat down in was way too soft and it reminded Kyuhyun of the ocean. He got sea-sick at the notion and moved away from it.

The next chair he sat down on was way too stiff and Kyuhyun thought it was more of a rock than a chair. It smelled, too.

The last chair he sat down in was just right. It was almost like his game chair at home! He smiled and closed his eyes, imagining himself playing games. He sighed, shaking his head. He really needed to play games.

Soon, he became sleepy. Half-awake, he made a move to the bedroom. The first bed he immediately skimmed over (it was a water bed, sea-sick, etc.). The second bed looked way too messy to even be usable. The third bed, the only one left, was clean and made, its dark blue sheets neatly folded on top. He smiled sleepily and fell onto it, letting slumber take him.

Kyuhyun was fast sleep when the house owners returned.

"Someone ate my food!" Donghae whined, poking at his ramen dejectedly before pouring it down the sink.

"Someone dumped my food!" Hyukjae cried, looking ten times more horrified than Donghae.

"Well, someone devoured my food," Sungmin said dryly, taking note of the empty bowl with chopsticks on top of it.

"Who even comes to these parts of the woods?" Hyukjae asked, frowning. "I thought you said you put a spell on it so no one could see it."

Sungmin merely shrugged, not answering.

Donghae, who had wandered off, was heard saying, "Someone's in our bedroom!"

"What if it's a burgular?!" Hyukjae asked, his eyes frantic as he looked to Sungmin for aid. Donghae joined him, clutching onto Hyukjae for his dear life (and for other reasons). "Or a murderer? Or a ? Or, even worse - a telemarketer?!"

Sungmin smacked him over the head. "Stop being stupid... if you can. It's probably just some lost boy." He pushed past the two imbeciles, annoyed. He walked past his chair, taking note of the indent on it that indicated someone was sitting in it not too long ago, and into the bedroom.

"... wait a minute, isn't that -"

"His hair looks awfully familiar."

"He has more acne than I remember."

"He smells like a nerd."

Sungmin scowled. "Will you two shut up?" Of course he knew who it was! He knew since the moment Kyuhyun stepped foot in the forest. In fact, he may or may not have (read: he did) led him right to their cottage.

"You don't have to be so mean..."

"We all know he's yours."

"You can have him, anyway. I have my Hyukkie."

Sungmin glared at them, and they took this is a sign to leave. After the door shut behind them - and, of course, it was practically slammed, as Donghae didn't know the definition of "quiet" - Kyuhyun woke up, startled. He almost fell out of bed in surprise at seeing Sungmin.

"Wh-who are you?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"You don't remember me?" Sungmin asked, pouting. Kyuhyun blinked, and Sungmin cursed under his breath, "Used to work on you..."

"What are you talking about?" Kyuhyun demanded. "Why would I remember you?"

"First, you intrude into my home" - Sungmin disregarded the fact that he lured Kyuhyun there in the first place - "then you eat our food and sleep in our beds, and you can't even properly greet me, let alone remember me?"

Sungmin took Kyuhyun's blinking as a 'yes'.

With a sigh, Sungmin took a seat on the bed adjacent to the one Kyuhyun was on (which was actually Sungmin's bed). "Oh, come on. You used to always come out and play with me when we were younger. Minnie? Kyu? Any of this ring a bell?"

Kyuhyun stared.

"... we played house. I was the wife, you were -"

"I remember!" Kyuhyun yelled, startling himself and amusing Sungmin. "You were the boy who was always in the forest, and you always had those two other boys with you."

"Yeah, Hyukjae and Donghae. They're still with me, as they do not have the ability to function on their own, it seems."

And, as if on cue, a crash could be heard outside. Sounds of what sounded like sirens and dogs were suddenly heard from the kitchen, and Donghae was yelling something along the lines of, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, HYUKJAE?!" 

And Hyukjae's response sounded like, "I JUST WANTED RAMEN!" 

"... are they okay?" Kyuhyun asked, gesturing to the door.

Sungmin shrugged. "Happens a lot. Well, not exactly the sirens part, but the accident part."

Another bang was heard, and Donghae was screaming, "OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH" repeatedly, while Hyukjae kept yelling at him to shut up and help him. 

"Are you going to help them?"

"Probably not."

Kyuhyun sat there, a bit uncomfortable with the way Sungmin was staring at him. "So... I guess I should get going... Sorry about all of this, I guess. But it really kind of is your fault for leaving the door unlocked."

Sungmin chuckled, and the sound was kind of oddly magical to Kyuhyun. "Same old, Kyuhyun."

Kyuhyun smiled a little at that. "Well, you haven't changed either. It kind of looks like you haven't aged a day, actually."

"Heh. Yeah." Sungmin laughed a little uneasily. "So, will you come back to visit?"

Kyuhyun frowned, standing up to leave. Sungmin followed, wanting to be a nice 'host' and lead the 'guest' out. "Um, I don't think so. I'm almost at level twenty on -"

"SUNGMIN, HYUKJAE BURNED ALL THE RAMEN!" 

"I DID NOT -"

Hyukjae was cut off by a rather horrifying sight (at least, it was to him).

Somewhere between the few seconds that passed when Donghae pushed into Kyuhyun by slamming the door open, Kyuhyun slammed into Sungmin, and Sungmin's lips met his, and things just... got out of control really easily. The yelling didn't really help.

"OH, GET A ROOM!" Hyukjae yelled, terrified and trying to figure out where their mouths separated. 

Kyuhyun mumbled something that sounded like a, "We are in one." 

Hyukjae and Donghae scrambled out of the room. A half hour later, when Donghae wanted to grab a blanket, Hyukjae could hear a scream resounding from the room. "NOT MY BED!" 

A/N: ... I sort of lengthened the story, I guess, or else it'd be really short xD And I made it more weird and whatever. What am I doing with my life...

YAY FOR ANTICLIMATIC ENDINGS! I didn't know how to get KyuMin together without being too cliched, okay? T.T

/cough. This actually has been completed for like the longest time OTL I just didn't know how to properly ended it, so I left it to rot for a month or longer. So, this isn't me breaking my hiatus - it's just me cleaning some stuff up. Or so I say. Yep. Still on a hiatus. /hides

And the next one (because I also was working on the next one before I left -.-") is a combination of EunHae and KyuMin, although I think it's more EunHae biased... Can anyone guess the fairytale? xD But yeah, it'll either be out tomorrow (it's... almost done, actually... well, part one is), or when I get back, because I'm a troll like that.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this. ^^ Sorry I'm so slow. Like I said, I'm on a hiatus. And for some reason, although I have so many ideas for this fic, it's actually kind of hard to actually write them OTL I overthink things.