FLASHBACK

Jisoo was running along the hospital corridor. Her eyes were searching for room number 716. Thousands minds were running inside her head since his uncle called her when she arrived at Incheon Airport after finishing Blackpink Europe Tour. Her uncle work at the hospital as psychiatrist. He called Jisoo to let her know that Jennie was getting treatment at the hospital. First Jennie was admitted to Emergency Department. She had massive blood loss due to her suicide attempt by cutting her wrist. Then she undergo a surgery to stop the bleeding. She got treatment from Surgery Department for couple of days before got referred to Psychiatry Department due to diagnose of Depression.

"Oh, holy chicken! Finally.."

Jisoo was out of breath when she stood in front of the door. She breathed in couple of times before knocked the door. A woman opened the door and gave her smile to Jisoo..

"Hi, Mommy Kim.." Jisoo bowed and greeted Jennie's Mother.

"Hi, Sweety.. Come in. Jennie was waiting for you. I'm going to get some fresh air outside."

After Jennie's mother left, Jisoo closed the door and walked in slowly. She saw Jennie was sitting at the edge of the bed room looking out the blue sky through the window. She looked the beautiful scenery while thinking about something. Jisoo stopped. She just stood still and observing her best friend. The cat-eyed woman was slightly thinner. Her cheeks wasn't as chubby as before. Her figure looked fragile. Without she realized, tears were coming out from Jisoo beautiful eyes.

Jennie turned her gaze at Jisoo.

"You're crying?"

Jisoo shook her head and wiped her tears.
"What? No.. It's just..", Jisoo paused for a moment before continued " I peeled off onions before i come here.."

“Seriously?” Jennie cringed at Jisoo's answer.

Jisoo cursed herself for the super lame excuse. Jennie knew Jisoo cried for her. She didn’t know whether it was because of sadness or pity. Jennie didn’t like to make other people cry.

"Come here.."

Jisoo nodded and obey Jennie's wish. She walked toward Jennie and sit next to her. Her arm touched Jennie's arm. She didn't deny that she miss Jennie's warm body that used to clingy to her a lot. Jisoo could see Jennie's face clearly now. She looked pale.

"You're okay?" Jisoo asked worriedly
Jennie turn her gaze to look through the window again.

"I'm still breathing.. Still far from good. But, at least I'm still breathing. I guess the happy pills work well.."

Jisoo furrowed her eyebrows. 

"I got anti-depression for my treatment. It keeps my sanity in its place. I kind lost track of it for some moments."

"I'm sorry, Jen. For neglecting your feeling all these times. Me, Lisa, and Chaeyoung do not mean to be selfish to you."

"No, Unnie. It's not someone's fault, okay? It’s my own problem.. "

Jisoo nodded. Although it didn't erase the guilty feeling in her heart. The truth was Jisoo, Chaeyoung, and Lisa already felt that Jennie's mental health was not stable. Jennie also aware of that condition. Anxiety, panic attack, losing appetite, losing interests, fatigue, feeling sad easily, losing confidence, and some other depression symptoms. But with the busy schedule and pressure from their company, they tried to ignore Jennie's condition and kept working. Until Jennie met a moment when she couldn't take it anymore. She felt a loud voice screaming of pain inside her brain. She knew that she needed to look for help. 

Jisoo scanned Jennie's figure from head to toe. Something caught her attention. Jennie's left wrist was covered with white bandage. After being hesitant for a moment, slowly Jisoo took jennie's left hand and put on her lap. She played with Jennie's tiny fingers.

"It's okay. I got some stiches on my wrist. I cut my blood vessels. I still feel pain sometimes. but it's okay."

"Why you just tell me now? Why you kept it secret from us? You just left that night and we haven’t heard any news from you.."

"I don't want to make you, Lisa, and Chaeyoung worried. I don't want to hold you guys back. Please don't let Chaeyoung and Lisa know about this."

"We are not the same without you."

"Trust me. It's for the best. You guys deserve happiness. That's why I left."

Jisoo had many more question inside her head that she wanted to ask Jennie. But her uncle told her that she shouldn't do something that makes Jennie remembering all the sad things. What she needed to do is give Jennie support and let her know that Jisoo is always be there for her. It took time for Jisoo's uncle to convince Jennie to let Jisoo know about what happened to her. Jennie planned to shut herself from the world.

"So, what are you going to do after this?"

"I'm not sure. But, I think I need a break from all of these. I will leave this k-pop industry. I need to focus to fix myself. Learn to love myself again. To think everything carefully. I need to find myself.."

Jennie put her hand on her chest.

"Just like the button which pulled away from a shirt, I felt like my heart is separated from my body. I'm gonna chase my heart. I'm gonna find it again."

Jisoo took Jennie's hand and hold it softly with both of her hands.

"Do whatever you want, Jen. Just promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"That you will come back. No matter how long the time you need, no matter how long the road you take. You’ll end up coming back to me, Lisa, and Chaeyoung. We are your home. After you find your heart again, please come back to you home."

Jennie shrugged her shoulder.

"What if Lisa and Chaeyoung still hate me in the future? What if they never forgive me?"

"No. Lisa and Chaegoung love you, Jendeuki. You know that. It's just they don't understand your situation very well."

Jennie lower head head.

"I'm scared that they will never want to see me again."

Jisoo raised her hands and cupped Jennie's cheeks. Jisoo rubbed Jennie's face with her thumb. She looked at Jennie's eyes.

"Jennie, I'm sure you already know that I am the one who will never ever leave you. I will always wait for you. Even If you lose all the things in this world, just remember that you will always have me. So, please comeback, Jen. Comeback for me.."

Jennie smiled. She leaned closer to Jisoo and kissed her cheek. As a human being, Jisoo was hopelessly miserable sometimes. But, as a friend, Jennie didn’t dare to ask God for a better friend than Jisoo. Because Jisoo had everything that everyone ask from a friend.

"You are my person, Jisoo Unnie.."

END OF CHAPTER

Author's note. Double update because i miss Jensoo. I hope you don't get confused because there are many flashbacks. They are needed before going into the conflict. For you who demand for channie, please be patient until next chapter. So, bye~