recently its felt as if something has changed between them. 

 

chenle has always sort of liked jisung, since they'd met so young. since they'd trained and practically grown together as people, its hard not to like jisung. but this crush of his had never been more than just that: a crush. but these days hes confused. 

 

"jisungie, will you go on a picnic with me today?" he asks the younger boy before lunch time and pretends its for the sake of a video they do put out, but more so just wanting to spend time in the sun and the shade with jisung. watch his hair blow like the cherry blossom petals that pass them. jisung says yes, they picnic, they bring cameras and eat sandwiches he made and deformed rice balls Jisung had attempted. blew bubbles, watched others play football and such. eventually they'd turned off the cameras and just bumped shoulders along the han river. manager gone, alone time upon them chenle felt things were going well. 

 

most of their days doing things with just the two of them is rare. always a chance of waiting and jumping at opportunities like this present themselves between schedules and things. today they relax and just talk the way they do. easy. comfortable since they're the youngest. because they're in tune to each other. 

 

so they bask in the dimmed sun the cool breeze all until the beautiful weather they had seen before began to darken, eventually dropping the inevitable heavy from the clouds and it had begun to rain. 

 

"our picnic is ruined." chenle cried out, listening to jisung hang up his phone after talking with their manager and dragging chenle away to stand under the tree with thick enough leaves that not a ton of water hit them. it was cold though, and jisung took his jacket off to wrap chenle up in despite how he shivered on his own. still smiling, telling the older boy the weather was funny, really. 

 

"take your jacket back." chenle tried, "you'll get sick." 

 

"i won't." jisung said, rubbing his hands up and down chenles arms to try and warm him. 

 

seeing this chenle made a noise, a hopeless thing because his heart, it hurt.

 

jisung was too good to him. 

 

"jisung can you hold me?" he croaks, unable to keep away and when jisung agrees hes very warm and pleased when jisung presses him into the tree to wrap his arms around the boy and breathe shaky breaths into his neck. his lips, his skin cold enough to be felt  through the clothes on chenles body. he can feel it all. shaken boy how close they are and wonders if his hair is a mess. if jisung is still cold when chenle presses a short kiss into his temple and the brunette gives a full body shudder. 

 

"you can't do that." jisung says weakly, shirt sticking to his body where the water hits him every once and a while. chenle objects to this, plants another kiss into the bone of jisungs cheek and in a gasp of air because he's hot. flush under his lips. and jisung pulls back to look at him, mutters something about how their manager will be here any minute since the whole place has cleared and they should go wait for him. 

 

chenle realizes aloud, "but then we won't be alone." 

 

says it like he's disappointed and jisung must hear it in his voice, the nervous and the want and the silent plea of dont let me go yet.

 

"yeah." jisung mutters back in reply, not so focused on his lips as chenle is jisungs. just watching the lilac headed boy meet his eyes after looking up guiltily and then whispers chenles name and leans in-

 

the lightest of brushes against the corner of chenles mouth, a gentle kiss to that very spot before pulling away to take his hand, warm warm warm. doesn't say a word to chenle when they get in their managers car and he questions why they both look rose red. 

 

when they get to their dorms jisung drops the picnic basket outside his room and doesn't come out. not when chenle asks for him. not when they have morning practice or breakfast the next day. says he's sick. 

 

only once does he answer to chenles knocking the day after.

 

its been a whole day since he'd seen jisung and hes thought too many things. worried, ultimately. why had he done it? why him? did jisung regret it? does he like chenle? and jisung has been up fussing about he same things, pacing back and forth his own room. if he had scared chenle. read the situation wrong. it was wasn't just how caught up he'd been. 

 

of course chenle looked gorgeous in the rain. with the specks of water at his lashes and the pony pink of his lips, his heat, his face so close they'd shared that air. his eyes. his voice. the strength in his hands at jisungs waist holding him tight. it had been too much. but he would've done it anyway. someday. everyday if he could. because he likes him. adores chenle like no other and his heart, all of which chenle owns, couldn't handle being even inch apart from this angel at his feet any longer. 

 

so it breaks him with chenle sounding so sad, so unsure when he asks if jisung will step out to talk to him for the hundredth time.

 

"oh-" the purple haired boy startles with his hand at jisungs door like he was caught about to knock again. as he was. except jisung is there now, looking dead at him before shouting, 

 

"im sorry." and chenles whole face falls. 

 

jisung doesn't like him. 

 

that must be it. of course doesn't like him, chenle thinks, taking an awkward step back but jisung follows him, bows 90 degrees before standing straight before him and saying, "i shouldn't have kissed you without asking." 

 

to course he didn't mean to kiss him without asking-

 

"wait-what?" chenle stutters.

 

"i want to kiss you properly, hyung. i like you." 

 

"y-you-" 

 

"like you." jisung finishes for him, blushes bright with chenle standing there grinning at him. beautiful boisterous laughter because jisung likes him back. goes on about the rain and the horrible timing to the older boy, even the moment leading up to what had happened.

 

"i know with the manager coming and everything i should have given you better. i should have waited but. i wanted you. i would have kissed you either way. so remember that, please." 

 

and with that he steps away, shuts his door and leaves chenle to grab the picnic basket full of those stupid rice balls he made and his jacket that chenle slips on. doesn't whine when they get called together to exercise before another practice because he'll see jisung this time. he knows. and he doesn't care if they're awkward about it, or sweaty from dance or the outcome. it must be good. because it's jisung.

 

who likes him. 

 

so no one questions why he runs to the car with a smile so bright donghyuck feels insulted. 

 

he just does.