symmetry ft. emily warren: jt roach 

Seungmin stands outside of Woojin's door and breathes through his nose. He's slightly worried if the eldest would like his flowers.

His quiet panic simmers at the top of his emotions, swirling and waiting for the right time to come out. It's beginning to seep through his veins, and those nasty voices are starting to speak. He can hear a voice more prominent than others before he shoves it away and knocks on the door.

Woojin doesn't answer which Seungmin takes to come in, hiding the bouquet of flowers behind his back.

He finds Woojin hidden under his covers, blonde tufts of hair sticking out. Seungmin pulls the blanket down and is met with an angry pout and frustrated dark eyes.

Usually, he would put the blanket back and then flop onto the elder's stomach, waiting to be pushed off. This time, though, he sits at the edge of the bed, his back towards the rest of the room. There's a little surprise in the other's eyes before he's reaching for the blanket. Seungmin holds it down.

"No hyung," he says causing Woojin's pout to intensify. Seungmin giggles.

Woojin reaches again for the blanket and Seungmin slaps his hand away.

This continues on for a couple more minutes before Woojin groans and grabs the younger on top of him. Startled by this, Seungmin smacks Woojin's face with his flowers as he falls into the elder's embrace.

"Hyung," Seungmin whines, removing the flowers from the other's face. "You're going to mess up your flowers!"

Dark eyes follow the flowers as Seungmin places them on the bed as he tries to sit up. Woojin's eyes snap quickly to his, and suddenly Seungmin can see what's about to happen.

He begins to scramble up when Woojin's arms cage him in with nimble fingers pressing into his sides. Seungmin screeches and finally flings himself away from the other, watching as his eyes crinkle in the corner. The small look of anger is still there, but there's something else hidden in Woojin's eyes which Seungmin can't identify.

Woojin laughs and picks up the flowers, his fingers trailing across the petals.

"They're beautiful," he says.

"It was hard, hyung," Seungmin says taking careful steps towards the elder. He doesn't want to be subjected to his hyung's tickle torture again. "The lady told me that thee are flowers that mean love. I think she's right."

Taking the flowers from Seungmin's hands, Woojin smiles. "She's right. These flowers are screaming, I love you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

The older shakes his head. "It's not."

Seungmin takes a closer look at the other and sees the receding sadness in his eyes, but it's the only thing he sees that says he feels better. Everything else screams there's something wrong, the clenched jaw, the tensed posture, and the fact he's wearing one of Chan's hoodies and a pair of sweatpants which look like the ones Seungmin has been missing for a while. The Woojin standing in front of him is not the calm and collected one. Instead, it's the one that likes to hide and cry under the covers while wrapped in the warmth of his lovers.

"Hyung, do you want to talk?" Seungmin asks as he stops a couple of steps from the older.

The smile on Woojin's face drops as he holds his flowers tighter and in five seconds, he looks like he's about to fall onto the floor and cry. Seungmin closes the gap between the two of them and wraps his arms around Woojin's shoulders. The elder doesn't hug back but places his head against Seungmin's shoulders.

"Candles," is all Woojin has to say for Seungmin to pull away. He'd figure it that it would come to the candles.

Much like Jeongin with his bubbles, the thing that helps keep Woojin calm are candles. He likes to watch the flickering flames that have his silent problems at the tips. He watches them burn until there's nothing left.

Woojin's eyes are pleading with Seungmin as if the younger is going to deny him one of the things that makes him happy.
"Do you know where the box is?" Seungmin asks.

Woojin's eyes light up. "Your room."

Looking out into Woojin's room, Seungmin nods. Chan and Woojin's beds are pushed together making a much larger bed than their room can handle. Small slivers of space are on each side, leaving enough room for small side tables. By their closet is a space where Seungmin and Woojin could sit down and stare at the flickering flames. He smiles.

"Just clear that area," Seungmin says pointing to the correct area. "And I'll get the candles."

His hyung nods and presses a soft kiss against Seungmin's lips. He finds himself unwinding from the kiss and wanting to fall into the other's arms, finally breaking from the fear in his chest but as Woojin's lips leave him, he pushes it away.

He leaves Woojin's door open when he steps out into the hallway. He makes the turn towards his room when he notices Jisung's door open and the sound of crying giggles reaching his ears. The first thing he sees when he walks past the bedroom is a plethora of blankets in all forms and colors. The once blue room is now covered in too many hues to look sane, but if that's what it takes to make Jisung smile, then he's allowed to have too many blankets in his room.

Seungmin opens his door to see two sleeping lumps on his bed and an attempt to bring Changbin's and Minho's bed closer. Somewhere along the way, however, it looks like someone gave up as Changbin's bed is now at a strange angle and Minho's is pushed too far.

He closes his mouth before a soft giggle can escape.

Hyunjin is practically wrapped against Changbin's torso, while the other is pressing his face deeper into Hyunjin's neck. Every so often, the taller inhales and makes a face as little pieces of Changbin's hair tickles his lips. There's no space in between the two of them, but he's sure with how things are looking there will be something by the time he comes. Quietly he makes his way to his closet, grinning when spots the words, 'Woojin's Candles' in black sharpie on the top of a white box. He pulls it out without much thought a quietly makes his way to back to Woojin's room.

When he makes his way back into Woojin and Chan's room, the eldest is standing by the dresser, his eyes fixated on a tall red vase. Seungmin's love bouquet has already made their home and look beautiful against the pale coloring of the room. Woojin looks at Seungmin and the box in his hands.

"I have the stool and the blankets," he says pointing to the corner of the room where a bright yellow stool and a couple of blankets laid.

Seungmin doesn't say anything as he places the box next to the tiny table. He kneels and opens, the box, taking out the first candle. Silence falls over the two of them for a couple of seconds before Woojin begins talking.

"They hated it," he says when Seungmin places a bright pink candle down. The elder's voice comes from somewhere behind him followed by the sound of a lighter. "They've always hated it."

And Seungmin knows this. He knows how much Woojin's parent hated that Woojin didn't choose a profession with a humongous amount of income as they have. They hated that Woojin was as gay as they come and in a polyamorous relationship with eight different men. He knew his parents liked to call and tell him of their discomfort, claiming they have a beautiful girl waiting for him.

Seungmin knows all of this, and he hates it as much as Woojin's parents dislike the eight of them.

If Seungmin closes his eyes, he can picture the day Woojin decided he wanted to be happy and to follow his heart, not listening to the devil parents on his shoulder.

Seungmin places more candles on the table. "What did she say?" he asks.

"The same things," Woojin sighs handing Seungmin the lighter. "How everything is wrong. How I'm wrong."

Seungmin hums and pushes the box away, the mini table filled five candles. He takes the lighter from Woojin's hand and begins to light the candles. He's hit the sudden scent of various flowers and calming smells.

"But what changed?" Seungmin asks when he turns off the lights and places it down. He doesn't move from his spot and watches as the flames begin to dance.

Woojin pauses as sits down behind Seungmin. The elder pulls Seungmin into his arms, dragging their bodies to lean against the frame of the bed. From the white knuckles and the tight hold around Seungmin's waist, the younger knows there's more to the story. "Something else happened. Something she said pissed you off."

Woojin sighs and begins to play with Seungmin's hair while the latter quietly rests in the older's arms, somewhat content.

"She talked about you guys," he says after a moment. "She told me that all of you were disgusting and you should rot." He spat out his words like they were diseases, something foul in his mouth.

Seungmin closes his eyes, used to the slurs people used to call him. For the longest time, he used to believe them. He used to listen to the evil words which sunk into his skin, making him think he was the scum of the earth.

"And is she right?" he asked.

"No!" Woojin shouted the moment those words left Seungmin's mouth. "You're nothing of the sort, and she has no right calling any of you that. She's the vile one!"

"And if she's the one saying horrible things and you know this, then why are you still listening to her?" Seungmin pulls himself out of Woojin's embrace and turns around to face him. "You want to love eight people at the same time, then damnit Woojin hyung, you're going to love eight people at the same time. If you want to study plants and the medical effects of them, then you're going to study that! You're going to be the person you want to be! I've told you this, Channie hyung has told you this." Seungmin points to the flowers on the dresser. "What do those flowers mean, hyung?"

Woojin stares at Seungmin with wide eyes to which Seungmin understands why. He's not one to raise his voice in anger or frustration. He's the one who calmly tries to understand the situation around him, but something inside of his snapped when he saw how much the 's words have affected him (in Seungmin's eyes, she doesn't deserve to be called Woojin's mother).

"Hyung," Seungmin says again, "what do they mean?"

Woojin clears his throat and looks at them. "Azaleas for love. Deep red carnations for more love and baby's breath for long-lasting loving."

"And what does that tell you?"

Woojin stays silent, and his hold on Seungmin's torso loosens. Seungmin can finally see the gears in his lover's head turn.

"What do they mean hyung?"

Woojin leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to Seungmin's lips causing the younger male to giggle.

"Hyung," Seungmin whines. and Woojin presses another kiss. "What does it mean?"

"I love you," Woojin says finally and presses another kiss to Seungmin's lips. "They mean I love you and I love you Kim Seungmin."

"And is going to cause a rift between us? Between all of us?" Woojin shakes his head. "We've all spent too long trying to get you out of that house. I'm not going to let you go back nor am I ever going to stop loving you. Never forget that hyung. Never forget that I love you as does everyone else. You mean the world to us and people who have no say in that matter who don't know us, they don't matter to the rest of us. You do. Kim Woojin means the world to me, to Chan, to Hyungjin and to everyone else."

Woojin searches Seungmin's eyes for any signs of a lie, but Seungmin prays the only thing the oldest can find is love.

It's Seungmin's turn to press hopes against Woojin's lips. He wishes for a peaceful mind for Woojin. He wishes for Woojin not to listen to the nasty voice of his mother telling him things that he shouldn't hear. He wishes for Woojin not to get angry in their place. They've all had their face share of ugliness, and it's not something they need to keep having in their lives. Seungmin presses the hope of better days with Woojin, days where they can laugh and stare at the flicking candlelight buy plotting against the others. But most of all, Seungmin presses the hope that Woojin will never forget the love they share. They're not like oil and water after all.

Woojin wraps his arms around Seungmin again and pulls him into his chest. They stay in their position for a little bit longer with Woojin drawing lazy circles in Seungmin's back. There's a silly smile on his face as he closes his eyes. He stops himself from falling asleep, but he's failing. He closes them for a second when the door opens, and a loud cooing noise comes from the outside.

Felix stands with a koala named Jeongin who only smiles.

"Hyungs!" he laughs. "Felixie hyung is building worlds again, and this time they're brighter than before. Something about a world of stars and secret wishes!"

Felix looks at Seungmin with a bashful smile.

"Hyung," Felix mumbles, his voice deep. "I'm-"

Woojin shakes his head and lets go of Seungmin in favor of standing up and wrapping his arms around Felix and Jeongin.
Guilt begins to paw at Seungmin's insides as he forgot to ask what happened in between Felix and Woojin. He should have-

Not now.

"There's nothing," Woojin says pressing a soft kiss against Felix's lips. "You shouldn't apologize."

"But hyun-"

"Shh."

Felix blinks before a smile stretches across his features. Jeongin passes a glance at Seungmin and grins.

Of course.

Yang Jeongin is his little helper, it seems, as he tiptoes out of the room and hears Woojin asking about the creatures of this world he and Seungmin created.