《Regrets》

Not alot of time passed before a knock was heard from the door. Haechan jumps up off his bed and practically runs towards the door as if he knows who it is. 

"Taeil hyungg" he says cheerfully before even grasping the doorknob but when he did, the face of the exact person was waiting outside the door. Haechan does his usual routine of hugs and kisses which he doesn't do much to me these days or weeks. I stared at them in envy, I could feel my face go green but that's not possible unless I was the grinch. Unlike me, Taeil is okay with occassional skinship from Haechan and I also wanted to be but the thought of developing more feelings for my own best friend scares the hell out of me. 

A couple of weeks ago, when Haechan was still showering me with his love and affection, I started feeling weird. My heart skipped a beat every once and a while everytime his face inches towards me or when he places light kisses on my neck. The way he holds onto my hands and caresses the outer parts of it or the way he would stare at me with the most loving gaze, gave me butterflies. It drove me insane to the point where I just wanted to grab him, hold him, and display as much affection as he has given me or maybe even more. But I could only think, I could never be brave enough to put it into actions. Our lives were filled with cameras and eyes watching us from every direction. People would point fingers at the smallest mistakes that we make. I thought of how the hyungs would feel, how our fans would feel, but most importantly, how he would feel. Our friendship has been ongoing for more than ten years, if I made the wrong move it could ruin our streak. I was scared of the rising feelings that I felt.

So that's when I started to avoid him, dodge his kisses, and talking to him less and hanging out with the other hyungs more. I acted as if I was uncomfortable everytime he laid his hands on me and I kept doing it for some time until he finally got my message. He stopped touching me as much but then he completely stopped. He talked to me here and then or when he needed something but when it came to prolonged conversations, we would never had them. I thought that this was a way to stop these unwanted feelings and let it die down. 

Then came Taeil who was his saving grace, he was willing to accept it all. The hugs, kisses, and even the hand holdings.They hanged out more often than usual, went to the movies and even ate out together when our schedules weren't as packed. 

I grew envious as each day passes, and I couldn't even hide it. I took every chance I can to sabotage their hangouts by suggesting to go but I always seem to get third-wheeled by them. That's when I started to regret. I was hurting myself and also our relationship. I tried to change my ways, but results were the same. It was either small talks or silence, or all in one. 

So I thought this trip would help. 

He was still clinging on to Taeil like he does these days. I leaned against the hall in the entrance way with my arms crossed, observing them. 

"let's head to Taeyong's room, we have to head to arcade later since you guys begged so much", Taeil says as he yawns and looks over at me. His eyebags were so noticable and the way his hair was all messy shows that he just woke up from bed.

"hyung, are you tired?", Haechan pouts and rubs hyung's cheeks. Taeil pulls his hands down and holds it, "I'm a bit jet lagged". 

We both laughed, " it's been two days now since we landed!" I exclaimed as if it was the most hilarious thing I heard all day. 

Haechan adds, " you're really getting old aren't you?" 

Even though we were concerned, we always make fun of his age since he was the oldest. Taeil shoots us a look before grabbing his slipper from his feet in a swift manner and pretending to hit us. Haechan and I flinched while backing away from the wild hyung. We both laughed harder than before whilst grabbing our stomachs and noticing the way our faces turned red from it. 

"Yah! I'm not that old" he says in the most frustrated tone he could manage to make, we knew he wasn't actually mad. 

"Understand grandpa!" Haechan says in a sarcastic manner before saluting him. I hit him on his arm playfully and then wrapping my arm around his shoulders as a natural reaction, but that's when he immediately stops laughing and looks at me dead in the face for the longest time. His face was inches away, his eyes were glowing and the way his lips moved against each other, as if it was in slow motion, makes me want to bite down on them. Haechan notices and pulls away as quickly as he can and takes a step to the side. 

Haechan coughs and looks down with a hint of blush spreading across his cheeks. He rubs his neck slightly but continues to not look at me. Did I do something wrong? I think to myself. 

Taeil who notices, clears the air, and grabs Haechan. 

"We'll go first and you can come with Johnny". 

I nod while sneaking a look at Haechan, he was walking with his head down while Taeil says something inaudible to him and he shakes his head.

As they leave, Johnny walks in with his smug face and wet hair. Topless and a towel wrapped around his neck. 

"did you get into a fight with your little wifey?"

I punch him lightly, " no, but hyung, he's acting weird around me".

I didn't deny the fact that he called him my wifey, I actually like the idea of that. It means that he's mines.

"if anyone is acting weird, it's you" he points at me, "you've been talking about him a lot of lately, people might actually think you like him or something"

The last part hit me so hard, I blurted out without thinking, "I think I do.."

✄

A/N: can you imagine the look on Johnny's face right now? pft im laughing as I do. 

This chapter had the backstory on a little past in markhyuck's life before coming to the vacation spot in Thailand. Also this is when Mark comes in terms with his feelings for Haechan when he's been avoiding and hiding it for quite some time. And of course, his best buddy, Johnny is the first person he tells.