“Do you ever wonder if birds look down on us and wonder why we choose to walk instead of flying?” Jisoo wondered out loud, as she looked up at a flock of birds that rested on the edge of Phoenix’s Concert Hall.

Yuri had given them a 20 minute break for lunch; instead, they had sneaked out of the back of the theatre and found a small, rectangular expanse of grass in the parking lot of the venue and decided to enjoy the sunshine, and the only quiet 30 minutes they were bound to have that day, by lying on it.

Jennie watched the birds. “Yes.” She played along happily. “And that one just called you an idiot.” Jennie sat up and pointed at the bird threateningly. “Hey! That’s my friend you are talking about.” She yelled at the confused bird. “She will walk if she wants to, okay?”

Jisoo laughed easily, rolling around in the grass. Only Jennie could out-silly her, and then go back to being the cool, composed queen she was just by sliding on her expensive sunglasses and lying back down.

Jisoo was happy. As much as she dreaded their friend-day the previous week, the truth was, it had made things better. Confessing to Jennie had gotten such a huge weight off of Jisoo’s shoulders, she felt like she could finally breathe and be herself again.

Jennie had handled it very well; not that Jisoo could ever realistically think she would be anything but supportive, but, of course, her insecurities had her imagine the worst case scenario. In the end, Jennie had told her she loved her, which Jisoo needed to hear. She said it back, leaving out the I’m in and with part of it out the expression; it wasn’t important at that moment.

She wasn’t ready to confess her crush to Jennie. Specially because she was just hoping it would go away, and that it didn’t need to be brought up ever. But also because her heart could not handle rejection, not that early on onto her journey of self-discovery, and not from Jennie.

Besides, when Jisoo thought about it, everyone pretty much had a crush on Jennie, didn’t they? Platonic or otherwise. The way Lisa incarnated a schoolboy and pulled Jennie’s hair, or stole something of hers, in order to get her attention. Or Rose’s quiet admiration for Jennie’s effortless style and elegance. Or the way Yuri could not resist one of Jennie’s requests when she used her baby voice and puffed her already puffy cheeks.

That was just good-old crush-worthy Jennie. Jisoo was just one of the many people affected by it.

“If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?” Jisoo asked, after watching Jennie’s profile for a moment.

Jennie breathed in, thinking. She turned her head to look at Jisoo, finally releasing her breath. “Here with you.”

“Really?” Jisoo looked around them, at the parking lot which, while nice for the moment, wasn’t exactly the thing dreams were made of.

Jennie pondered. “Well, maybe exactly like this,” She gestured to their current positions, “but on a beach somewhere beautiful.”

“Hm.” It was crazy that in the 8 years they had known each other, Jennie and her had never got to go away on holidays together. They had travelled the world, mostly for work, with Lisa and Rose, but those trips were usually laced with a publicity stunt and completely organised and micromanaged by the powers-to-be (read YG). When they were teenagers, they had talked about travelling together; backpacking through Europe, exploring South America, visiting Inca Temples in Mexico. There was always a touch of adventure to their fantasies. Although lying on a beach with Jennie sounded nice.

Jennie was quiet for a moment, before prompting. “And you?”

Jisoo’s honest answer would be anywhere with you, but what she answered instead was, “Maybe like Mexico.” She was fascinated with ancient civilizations, plus, she loved Chihuahuas.

“You hate spicy food.” Jennie reminded her; if she was surprised by Jisoo’s random answer, she did not show it.

“Yea, I forgot about that.” Jisoo admitted, and Jennie giggled. “My dentist’s office, then.”

“What?!” Jennie cried, as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

“He always compliments me on my teeth, and gives me some candy at the end of it. And the office is just down the street from a great Sushi place.” Jisoo shrugged. “It’s actually a pretty good afternoon out.”

“You are crazy.” Jennie shook her head amusedly.

There were many things Jennie loved about Korean culture; however it was a fact that it was still a bit behind the Western World when it came to LGBT acceptance.

It was different for Jennie; she had grown up in New Zealand where gay rights were much more widely advocated for than Korean. She remembered seeing gay characters on TV shows, and hearing about out celebrities who were just as widely loved/hated as any other straight celebrities growing up; it was all part of normalizing LGBT in their society.

Jisoo hadn’t had that luxury. She had grown up in Seoul, and her family (while lovely, amazing people) was very conservative. She worried the traditional culture of Korea would have engrained any sort of homophobic tendencies or thoughts in Jisoo’s head; and Jennie would be damned if she was going to let her best friend have negative feelings towards own uality because of the pressure of society.

There was no manual book about how to be supportive of a gay friend, or to help them along their journey of acceptance, but Jennie knew that Jisoo needed some references. She needed people she could identify herself with, positive role models and representation in the media.

She downloaded a few tv show episodes onto her laptop: Will and Grace, Glee, Queer as Folk, The L Word. Maybe her references were a bit outdated; however she was shocked to find how little lesbian representation there was in current TV shows.

Every night, when everyone retreated back to their hotel rooms, Jennie would sneak onto Jisoo’s room, and they would binge on TV episodes until one of them passed out out of pure exhaustion. If Jennie fell asleep first, Jisoo would gently wake her up and send her off to her own room; they hadn’t slept in the same bed since Jisoo had revealed her big secret, despite the fact that they had no problem doing so in the past. However, Jennie was working on respecting Jisoo’s space and feelings more, feeling slightly guilty that she had sort of made them about herself in the past.

Jennie’s intention with their friend-day was to renew their friendship, however their friendship had never needed to be renewed. Jisoo was just going through her own things, and Jennie had to work harder to try and not make things about herself. If Jisoo was distant and or acting different around Jennie, she had to understand she was going through some life-changing discoveries and just hope things would go back to normal in the future.

There were some other slight changes Jennie had noticed, however. Jisoo wasn’t as touchy and affectionate as in the past. Whenever she did touch Jennie, innocently, it was almost as her touch bared a question of whether it was okay or not. Jennie didn’t like the change, and she missed the affectionate nature of their relationship. Another thing she had noticed was, whenever they were in their dressing rooms, and Jennie would undress, Jisoo would purposefully look away, as if giving Jennie her privacy. It was ridiculous, and unnecessary, (they had seen each other in all types of undressed in the past), yet it had happened now several times. The last change Jennie had noticed was how Jisoo was unreceptive, even more than before, to any sort of joke about them (any of the girls) dating. Lisa was usually the one who started those jokes, by pretending to try to kiss Jisoo, or chastise her for “cheating” on her with Rose. Jennie figured it probably hit too close to home for Jisoo, and she felt guilty for going along with those jokes.

Jisoo hadn’t yet come out to Lisa or Rose. And while Jennie didn’t want Jisoo to do anything she wasn’t ready to do, however she hoped Jisoo would reach a point where she was comfortable enough to be truthful to the people she was closest with. She knew Rose and Lisa would be nothing if not supportive and caring; this was Jisoo after all. The girl who had taken care of all three of them throughout the academy, and into their fame. Their big sister, who sometimes acted like their younger sister, but nevertheless was their first pick to come to with their problems.

It was Jisoo’s time of struggle, and Jennie’s number one priority was to help along onto better times.

After using the ladies bathroom at Starbucks, Jennie walked back onto the main floor to see Jisoo leaning over the counter, talking to one of the baristas.

Her immediate instinct was to go over and facilitate the conversation – Jisoo’s English was still basic and, while she did understand a lot of what was said to her, she often struggled to communicate. However, something had her stop and watch the interaction instead.

Jisoo didn’t look frustrated, and the barista – a girl probably about their age, with light brown hair, blue eyes and freckles – didn’t look confused. Jisoo had a big smile on her face, her eyes were squinting, and she spoke pausedly (as she searched for her words) and with the aid of gestures. It wasn’t that Jisoo’s english had magically improved overnight; it was more that she was kind of making it work for her?

Jennie was stunned when she realised that Jisoo actually had game. She was charming the baristas pants off, if the way how the girl was looking at Jisoo was anything to go by. The girl was smiling adoringly at Jisoo, and kept giggling.

Wow, really, the girl from Starbucks? Jennie couldn’t help but think. Sure, she was exotic by Korean standards, but Jisoo could do so much better. Not that looks mattered, of course. Jisoo was probably mostly driven by personality, Jennie guessed. She realised she hadn’t even given a of thought of what Jisoo’s type actually was. She had no idea what characteristics (physical or otherwise) Jisoo was attracted to.

Yes, probably her and the Starbucks girl wouldn’t become a thing. But maybe now that Jisoo had finally accepted her uality she would find a girlfriend back in Korea?

Wow, what would that be like? Jennie wondered. Maybe another Kpop idol. There were so many of them; at least one was bound to be gay. And who wouldn’t want to be with Jisoo?

Jennie imagined what Jisoo’s girlfriend would be like. She imagined her to be really cool. Like, indie music, art lover, maybe exotic instrument player type-of-girl. Someone who was just effortlessly poised and elegant, cultured and smart. She imagined this girl to be a bit more of the serious side than Jisoo was; Jisoo would be silly enough for the two of them while her girlfriend would just watch on lovingly. Maybe she would participate in the silliness, every once in a while. But mostly just someone who was so stable and sure of themselves, they actually became Jisoo’s rock. The Jisoo to Jisoo. Someone she could let herself be vulnerable with.

Jennie was actually surprised how much thought she had put into this imaginary girlfriend of Jisoo. It was just so important to Jennie that her best friend got someone who deserved her. Someone that loved her more than anything.

Oh, Jennie was going to be a protective friend, she could just tell. She would surely demand to meet this girlfriend even before things got serious. Yes, she would sit her down and make sure she was good enough for her Chichoo. And if so, she had a lot of things to say to her.

Things like; don’t let her eat dairy because she’s intolerant and refuses t