Putting a public statement out, saying that she was gay, was not quite as comprehensive or as sensible as Jisoo wanted her coming out to be; but sitting down for a filmed interview and having to answer questions in an articulate, relatively unemotional manner was terrifying and probably impossible, so Jisoo thought that maybe an article would be the middle ground between the two. Having a journalist she could trust to accurately portray her story and words was of most importance, and Yuri had slipped her the number of Son Kam, someone he had gone to school with and he trusted, and, to be honest, Jisoo didn’t have many other options. Most of the journalists she had had interviewed for in the past were under YG’s thumb, so her connections were very limited. She decided to call Kam, and while they arranged to meet in a café to discuss the article, Jisoo’s mind was not yet made up. She had decided she was going to rely on her instincts when she met him; if anything felt off, she’d just thank him for meeting her and walk away. It was important not to rush this process.

While shaking his hand, Jisoo couldn’t help but to register how he didn’t smile. It was surprisingly assuring to her, it made her feel like he was straightforward and didn’t put on a show.

“Yuri was quite vague regarding what exactly was the reason for you wanting to talk to me,” He started, off-the-bat, skipping pleasantries.

“That’s because it’s somewhat of a sensitive issue,” Jisoo explained, “And I’m not quite sure if this is something I want to go ahead with.”

“What would be your concerns?” He asked, readjusting his glasses.

“That my words would be taken out of context. That you didn’t understand where I’m coming from.”

He nodded. “Well, I can promise you I’ll do my best to capture your words with the correct meaning, but I can’t promise you that I’ll understand your message unless you tell me what it is.”

Jisoo hesitated.

“Look, I don’t write for a gossip magazine. Korea Daily is serious journalism. Whatever you want to reveal to the world, I’m only interested in writing it if you want to give me the story.” Kam explained. “So, if you want to tell me what it is now, it will be between us, unless you want me to write about it.”

“I appreciate that,” Jisoo played with her fingers, nervously. It helped that Kam put out a similar energy to Yuri; a sort-of quietly protective, trust-worthy yet unemotional energy. “The truth is- I’m gay.”

It felt liberating to be say the words to a complete stranger, and not to feel like she was at the edge of a panic attack. How would he react? Would he be disgusted, angry, disappointed?

In reality, he seemed moderately shocked, but years of being a journalist had probably helped him finesse his poker face. “I see.” He said, simply, “That’s quite big news. Are there any out gay idols?”

Jisoo shook her head. “Not that I know of.”

“That’s interesting.” He seemed thoughtful. “What makes you want to come out, now?”

“I feel like it’s time there is positive gay representation in the media,” Jisoo explained, “That’s kind of one of the key points I wanted to get across with the article.”

“Right.” Kam chewed on the inside of his cheek. “I think you know this is a huge story, for any journalist. But- my conscience weighs heavily on me, so- I need to ask. Are you sure this what you want to do? Have you given a proper thought? Have you talked to someone about it?”

“Yes.” It was the answer to all the questions he had asked, and any other’s he could think of. Still, she appreciated that he wasn’t jumping on the story like a starved vulture, and that further reassured her that he was the right choice to write her article.

He seemed to believe her certainty. “Alright, then. What if I draft a few questions, and send them over to you, so you get to think about them in depth, maybe consult your lawyer, PR person, Yuri, whoever, about them, and then we can meet and get it done?” He certainly wasn’t one to waste time with chit-chat.

“That’s actually perfect.” Knowing the questions ahead of time would give her the opportunity to ponder her words carefully, and make sure she hit all the key points she desired.

“When would you want to do this?” He asked.

“As soon as possible.”

“Great. I’ll get started on the questions, then.” He was already on his feet, offering his hand for her to shake. “Can I give you one piece of advice?”

“Sure.”

“While the temptation of letting everyone find out about this through the article may be big, in my personal experience, you might want to give the heads up to all the people close to you.”

Jisoo nodded. It was something she had considered, too. Her parents did not deserve to find out about it over an article, at the same time as everyone else.

Sitting on the sofa, pretending to be watching TV with Lisa, when in reality her thoughts were consumed by Jisoo and what she was doing that night, Jennie couldn’t help but to feel useless.

There she was, watching some K-drama in her pijamas, when Jisoo was coming out to her parents. She could only imagine how terrifying and nervewrecking that would be, and a part of Jennie had always thought that she’d be by Jisoo’s side when the time finally came for her to come out. If theire relationship was in a better, less confusing place, Jennie would have offered to go along for moral support; but, as things stood, it was unclear if Jisoo even wanted, or needed, her there, as a friend or otherwise.

Lisa yawned, while stretching her arms exaggeratedly, “It’s getting late.” She looked over to the main apartment’s door.

It was clear that Lisa was also waiting for Jisoo to return home, and Jennie felt a wave of possessiveness wash through her. She wanted to be the one there for Jisoo when she got home; she wanted to be the one comforting her, if necessary, or just the first one to hear about how the night had went.

She had to remind herself that, at the moment, Jennie was not any different to Jisoo than Lisa was; they were just friends, and, in fact, Jennie had broken Jisoo’s heart recently, so maybe her presence had slightly bittersweet edge to it, while Lisa was able to be just a friendly shoulder for Jisoo to cry on.

She could not imagine the pile of nerves that Jisoo currently was; not only having come out to her parents that night, but knowing that the following morning the entire world would know such a personal and huge detail of her life, and that many people may not take it well. This was Jisoo’s time of hardship, and Jennie had once again made it about herself and her own feelings.

It was this sort of childish, impulsive urges that had led Jennie to make the biggest mistake she had ever made. The time apart from Jisoo had let her take a step back and understand how, sometimes, the way she let her emotions take over her was destructive, but it would take a longer time to correct this behaviour. Being able to identify it was step one, and feeling any other way that happy and thankful about someone else caring about Jisoo was a red flag.

“You can go to bed, if you’re tired. I’ll wait for her.” Jennie told her, with the best intentions at heart.

“Are you sure?” It was clear that Lisa was exhausted.

“Yes.” It was endearing to see how protective Lisa was of Jisoo.

“Okay. Give her a kiss for me.” Lisa recommended her, before standing up and pressing a kiss to Jennie’s forehead.

After what probably been the most mentally and emotionally draining night of her life, Jisoo was ready to get in her bed with Dalgom and pass out. But when she stepped inside her dark, quiet apartment, and noticed the sleeping figure of Jennie, curled up in the sofa, she realised that Jennie’s affection and support were the healing power she truly needed.

She kneeled on the floor, brushed a lock of Jennie’s hair around her ear. She watched the girl’s face move, as she slowly came into consciousness again.

“Hi.” Jisoo smiled.

“I was waiting for you.” Jennie blinked, before sitting up and groggily rubbing her sleep-heavy eyes.

“I’m here.” Jisoo felt her chest tight with emotion.

Jennie reached out for Jisoo’s face, and let her thumb brush along her cheekbone. Jisoo wondered if Jennie could tell that she’d been crying. “Are you okay?”

Jisoo nodded, “Yea. It was hard but- I’m glad it’s done. I’m glad I’ve told them.” It hadn’t been tears of sadness. It’s just been a very emotional night for her and for her parents; in the end, it was all good. She was aware that it was going to be an adjustment for her parents, but she knew they would be by her side no matter what.

Jennie’s lips twisted for a moment, and she seemed like she was going to cry. She threw her arms around Jisoo’s neck and they hugged, languidly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jisoo brushed her hand down Jennie’s back, before they parted. She was sure Jennie wanted a breakdown of how the night had gone; what had been Jisoo’s words and what were her parent’s reactions, but at that moment, Jisoo was absolutely drained, so reliving the night was not an option. “I’m exhausted.” She admitted, “I’m going straight to sleep.”

Jennie seemed to understand Jisoo’s need to rest, as she nodded softly. She then hesitated. “Can I come?”

Jisoo’s heart squeezed with emotion, but she managed a nod, before she helped Jennie to her feet and directed her to her room.

It had been a while since she had woken up next to Jennie, and Jisoo vowed to never take it for granted again, because it was the single most delightful way to start a day.

She spent a long time, lying awake, arms around Jennie’s waist, just trying to memorize how the girl’s body felt against hers; her warmness; how she smelled; the little low noises she made while she slept. Her bed, that morning, was Jisoo’s personal heaven, and she felt that as long as her and Jennie stayed there, they wouldn’t have to face reality, and that thought was incredibly tempting.

Coming out to the world was what she wanted to do, and she couldn’t wait to represent the LGBT community and to be the role model a lot of gay kids desperately needed. But that didn’t mean the thought of being out didn’t still cause her an incredible amount of anxiety.