Jennie hadn’t had many hangovers in her life, but she had fairly decent idea of how to manage them; it usually involved plenty of sleep, food and water. It did not, however, involve sleeping two lousy hours, having to wake up to get ready by hair and make up professionals,  in order to attend a series of press meetings, a break for lunch, a rehearsal, another 2 or so hours of hair and make up, a sound check/dress rehearsal and then a performance.

While all of this seemed really daunting in her current physical state, the previous night had left her with far worse regrets.

She barely remembered making her way to Jisoo’s room, and she certainly could not remember the thought process behind it; however, she remembered very clearly everything that had happened from then onwards. She hadn’t planned the kiss; she knew that much. Her attraction to Jisoo was always kind of there, and she had always acknowledged it, but she had also always seen it as something sort of platonic. Yes, Jisoo was beautiful, and yes, Jennie wanted her attention all the time, and yes, they even flirted regularly but she’d never thought it would go further than that.

With a bit of alcohol in her, she had always been braver, and more reckless. Bringing up the boys they had dated, and , was a way to see Jisoo squirm, push her out of her comfort zone. With each step further she had taken, she had felt the desire grow within herself – although she hadn’t quite identified it as so. She had touched Jisoo, which made her want to lean in and, God, Jennie remembered how amazing Jisoo smelled. All the time. With her lips hovering over Jisoo’s neck, Jennie could only imagine what would feel like to kiss her. She wasn’t going to, of course. She was about to pull away and end whatever game they were playing when she noticed that Jisoo had not once moved since she had started touching her. In fact, Jisoo’s hand had somehow made her way to Jennie’s leg, and was holding her place. A second moment of hesitation had Jennie notice that Jisoo was shivering, and breathing heavily. Jisoo wanted her. The realisation of such a fact was mind-blowing to Jennie, and the confirmation she needed to take things to the next level.

So she did. She kissed Jisoo. She couldn’t believe it herself, but God, it had been an amazing kiss. The way how Jisoo’s lips were softer and tastier than any boy. The way she stayed so still, as if she was afraid moving would end the magic that the moment held. The way how the girl breathed against her lips, and how her tongue shyly poked out to meet Jennie’s.

Seeing Jisoo first thing in the morning, at their press meetings, was weird. And awkward. Jennie wasn’t ready to discuss what had happened and what it had meant because, hell, she wasn’t so sure herself. She wished she had a few days to gather her thoughts, but, of course, they were Kpop stars which meant they had absolutely no personal space or time.

It was obvious Jisoo wanted to talk to her. She kept looking over at Jennie, trying to catch her eye, and communicating mutely. Jennie knew they had to speak about it at some point, but she was secretly happy that the two had virtually no alone time throughout the day which made doing so impossible.

The rehearsal was a mess, as far as Jennie was concerned. She felt constantly on the verge of throwing up and that had her perform their routines with as little energy as she could muster. Yuri, their manager, kept yelling at Jennie to give more, probably thinking that she was just being petulant (which she had been known to be before). She almost did throw up sometime after “Whistle”, which distracted her enough to forget to move out of the way when the dancers ran up to take their spot in the transition; however, instead of letting Jennie make the mistake and get yelled at by Yuri again, Jisoo grabbed her hand and expertly directed her out of the way onto backstage, just barely missing their mark.

“Thanks.” Once backstage, Jennie whispered, as she bent down and breathed heavily, hands on her knees.

It was the first word they’d said to each other all day.

“Are you okay?” Jisoo then asked, softly, her hand finding the back of Jennie’s neck and rubbing it.

Jennie felt horrible, not only because of her current state of nausea, but also because of the guilt she felt. She was so self-centred and selfish, she’d been avoiding Jisoo all day, without any regards for the fact that the girl was probably feeling just as confused and scared as she was. Despite all of this, Jisoo was there, taking care of Jennie like she always did. Jennie felt like a horrible person and, most of all, a terrible friend to one of the people she most valued in life.

“Hey, I know we need to talk but-“ She finally whispered, straightening up, her eyes darting around to make sure there was no one to hear their conversation. “Not now, okay? I’m- I can barely stand, as you can see. But, we will, okay?”

Jennie had been avoiding her all day, of this Jisoo was aware. But she tried to rationalise it and not take it too personally as it was obvious Jennie was also extremely hangover and probably had only had a few hours of sleep.

Jisoo wasn’t unreasonable. She waited through the day, until their performance was finished, giving Jennie the space that she needed. When they were walking offstage, she caught a glimpse of Jennie, and she looked visibly relieved. She was probably more nervous about being able to perform than anything else; she’d had enough people accuse her of being a “lazy performer” on her off-days. Maybe now that the show was out of the way, she would relax and be willing to talk.

If that was the case, the car ride back to the hotel did not show it. Jennie sat in the back of the van in silence, her expression pensive and distant. Thankfully, Lisa and Rose had enough energy for the four of them, and distracted everyone away from Jennie’s obvious mood.

Once they arrived to the hotel, and