stranger siblings: (vii)

With the reassurance that Yeseo wasn’t going to say anything to Tiffany, Taeyeon knew she should’ve felt more at ease. But she didn’t. Taeyeon was a smart young woman, but when it came to being in the heat of her own feelings, she often found that she couldn’t comprehend the things that went on inside her. While she may be able to read others, her own emotions were somewhat fickle to her.

She wasn’t as worried about Tiffany pulling her out of the closet. In fact, she didn’t have much of a reason to be worried about Tiffany at all…but she somehow still was. She found that she couldn’t even really look Tiffany in the eye, more so now than ever.

It felt like embarrassment, which was stupid because, okay, maybe she was wrong for never standing up for Sojung, but neither had anyone else. Taeyeon didn’t see why Tiffany should especially pick on her, when her own friends, namely Jessica, Nick, Hyukjae, even Yeseo, never even batted an eyelid at the apparent mistreatment of their classmate.

But Taeyeon supposed, as Mr. Hwang had said, this wasn’t about the actions of others – it was about your own actions, or in this case, lack thereof. It was cowardly, Tiffany was right.

But Taeyeon didn’t like being forced to reflect on her own shortcomings, and she especially hated the fact Tiffany had been the one to hold the mirror up for her.

“You brooding again?” Yuri asked, handing Taeyeon a juice carton.

“Shut up.” She said, ripping the straw from its packet and stabbing it into the hole. She felt especially irritable today.

Yuri shrugged and sipped her juice, looking at Taeyeon all the while. “You’re lucky I’m accustomed to your rudeness.” She commented idly.

Taeyeon snorted slightly, down some juice. They were at band practice, rehearsing for a recital that was due to take place next week. She glanced around at the other kids in the practice room, chatting, laughing, tuning their instruments.

“I’m sorry.” She said after a moment, turning back to look at her best friend. “I guess I could be nicer to you sometimes.”

Yuri smacked her lips. “You could say that again.”

Taeyeon sighed lightly before lifting the guitar that had been sitting sideways on her lap, and propping it up against the wall next to them. “Do you think we’re bad people for not standing up for Sojung?”

Yuri raised a brow and released the straw from . “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been thinking about what Tiffany said the other night,” she admitted, staring down at the floor. “And I think she’s right. We should’ve stood up for her.”

Yuri nodded in consideration. “Yeah, maybe we should’ve. But I don’t think it makes us bad people that we didn’t. Besides,” she shrugged. “What’s done is done. We can’t change it now. We just have to do better next time.”

“How are you so chill about this?” Taeyeon frowned.

Yuri laughed slightly, “I think the real question here is: how are you so not chill about this? Look around.” She gestured a hand at the other occupants of the room – all of which seemed entirely unbothered, normal, jovial even. “Nobody cares. And if they did care, they were probably bummed about it for an hour after it happened and then got over it. You’re the only one still bothered.”

“But what about Sojung?” Taeyeon said defensively. “Years of bullying aren’t just going to disappear-“

“Taeyeon,” Yuri stopped her with a sigh. “I understand you have good intentions, really I do. But the bottom line is…we don’t even really know Sojung. I can count the amount of times either of us has spoken to her on one hand. You’re right, we could’ve stopped the bullies, but we didn’t, and that’s something we’ll have to live with. But Sojung will be fine, especially now Tiffany has taken her under her wing and the s who were bullying her have been suspended. Everything worked out in the end.” She clapped Taeyeon encouragingly on the back. “It’s all good.”

“I don’t know, Yul,” she creased her face in discomfort, “something about it still isn’t sitting right with me.”

Yuri simply looked at her for a moment, long and thoughtful, one eyebrow raised slightly.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” Taeyeon questioned, shifting in her seat.

“I’m wondering,” Yuri sat forward, looking sincerely curious, “is this really about Sojung? Or is it about Tiffany?”

“What the are you talking about?” Taeyeon moved away from her slightly.

Yuri shrugged, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. “I just think that if it’d been anyone else who’d stood up for Sojung, you wouldn’t have thought twice. I think the fact that it’s Tiffany…” she trailed off for a moment.

“What?”

“I think maybe you feel threatened or…maybe you don’t like the fact she noticed something in you that you hadn’t even noticed yourself?”

Taeyeon felt something inside of her tighten, as if someone had threaded a rope around her intestines and was tugging grotesquely. She opened to say something, anything that would prove Yuri wrong. But she could think of nothing.

* * *

Since the argument between Tiffany and Mr. Hwang happened, the tension in the house had solidified into something much more palpable. At meal times, Tiffany said nothing and if she did it was very apparently passive aggressive or sarcastic, and once she’d finished eating, she would vacate the dinner table briskly and barricade herself in her room.

On more than one occasion Taeyeon had seen Mr. Hwang hanging his head low, murmuring words of worry as her mother tried to comfort him. She felt sorry for him – his only biological daughter was pushing him away just as he’d predicted and he had no clue how to stop it.

Taeyeon was partly relieved, honestly. She knew that Tiffany was bound to rebel at some point, and she was glad that this form of rebellion was quieter and didn’t involve yelling or reckless behavior – for now at least.

At school word of Tiffany’s heroic gesture spread fast and her popularity among students had grown exponentially – much as Taeyeon had expected it to. She couldn’t go a single day without hearing whispers about whatever it was that Tiffany was up to; skipping class, smoking behind the bleachers, talking back to teachers, what make up she was wearing, the perfume she used, debates over how and why Tiffany seemed like a troublemaker but was also unreasonably likeable, whether she and Nick were an official item yet. It was one thing after another, after another. She couldn’t get away from it. Her stepsister had become the school’s local celebrity.

Tiffany’s antics may have been flying under the radar for the most part, but Taeyeon knew it was only a matter of time. Tiffany was going to get caught out and Taeyeon would be watching when it happened.

Sometimes she’d look at Tiffany, during dinner or breakfast, across the classroom or in the bustling corridors at school and she couldn’t help but see a pretty girl, young and dumb like herself and the rest of them – but then she’d look closer and see that she was also a girl who was ready to boil over, at given moment.

Sometimes she thought she could see vulnerability in Tiffany, but she always stopped herself before she thought about it too long. She didn’t kno