“How far along are you?”

She didn’t answer. She was staring at the floor, ringing her hands together. There were tears in her eyes and I wondered if they were supposed to make me feel sorry for her.

“I asked you how far along you were,” I repeated icily.

She mumbled something that I made her repeat. “Four months,” she replied timidly.

“Four…four months. You’re seriously telling me that you slept with and got impregnated by my boyfriend four months ago and had no intentions of telling me?”

I saw her head move up and down just once.

“You’re also saying that Bang had no intentions of telling me, and that Himchan was blackmailing you into going out with him because he knew and also had no intentions of telling me?”

She nodded again.

“You…you’re dead to me.”

“Lita I-”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear any more lies from your hateful hoeish mouth. You are dead to me, and Himchan and Yong Guk are about to be too.”

“What…what are you going to do?”

I rolled my eyes at her. What I did from now on didn’t concern her. We’d spent so much time being friends and she’s always been the selfless one, but here she is now with the one thing I’ve wanted for the longest time-Yong Guk’s child. How dare she say anything to me right now?

Instead of answering, I left. I grabbed a knife from the dish drain, snatched my keys off the hook by the door, and sped off into the night. I could barely see the road from all the red in my eyes. As I drove all I could hear was her confession like it was on repeat in surround sound in my ears. When I got to the boys’ place, I was beyond furious. In fact, I was downright calm as I knocked on the door. Himchan opened it like nothing was wrong. At least that hoe had done one thing right and hadn’t called to warn them.

“Hello Lita. This is a pleasant surprise.”

“It won’t be pleasant for long Himchan. Where’s Yong Guk?”

Speak of the devil and he will appear. Yong Guk emerged from his room looking dopey as if he’d just awoken from a deep sleep. “Hey baby.”

“Don’t baby me,” I snapped. I whipped the knife out from my jacket and pointed it at the two of them. “Sit,” I commanded and they did so immediately. I was on the verge of insanity, and I knew it, but I had to get some things off my chest before I went off the deep end.

“Lita…what’s this about?” Yong Guk asked.

“Why don’t you ask Himchan what’s been going on?” I asked. I nudged Himchan with my boot. “Go ahead Channie. Tell Yong Guk here about why my best friend has been so accommodating to you these past few months.” There was a bitter edge to my tone that there was no way I could hide, just like there was no way I could miss the look that passed between the two men.

“Oh wait, you already know why, don’t you Gukkie?” I spat out the nickname like it was poison on my tongue. “So…would either of you like to tell me when you were going to let me know about that little incident?”

It was the first time I’d ever seen Himchan stumbling over words and if it had been a different situation I would have laughed. Right now though, my patience was wearing thin and the little devil on my shoulder was encouraging me to just cut them both and let it be over.

“It meant nothing to me Lita,” Yong said, speaking over his tongue tied friend. “You know you’re the only girl for me. It only happened the one time, I swear.”

“It only takes one time Yong Guk.” I turned to his sidekick. “What about you? What’s your excuse?”

“I don’t have one,” he said dejectedly. He eyed my blade nervously but didn’t say anything else.

“It’s not the cheating that gets to me,” I admitted. “It’s not the lying either.” I started pacing between them, studying the light reflected off the blade and speaking very calmly even though I was screaming inside. Angry tears burned my eyes but they weren’t going to fall until after I finished with the two guys before me.

“You know what really bothers me about this whole thing? The one thing I’m angry, no, the one thing I’m absolutely pissed about is the fact that I have to live with this and watch her grow big and round with the child that should rightfully be mine.”

Both men turned to stare at me, jaws dropped identically in shock. A hollow laugh left my lips. “She didn’t tell you?” I doubled over in mirth, feeling the last little strings of my sanity stretch and break. “She’s four months pregnant. Our Gukkie is going to be a father.”

“You mean…we’re not going to die?” Himchan asked.

Again the evil laugh came out of me. The intoxicating power of insanity filled my body with an emotion I can’t express. Their fear made it even better. “You will die…one day. But no, I’m not going to kill you. You’ll wish I had, eventually, but for now just think about this:

“Himchan, you like her don’t you? There’s no point in lying to me because I already know the truth. Too bad she always had her eyes set on my man. Now neither of us has him. Actually, I guess she did win. She’s going to have his kid. All that time you spent making her do this and that for you hoping she’d fall in love with you-that was all a wasted effort buddy boy.

“And Yong Guk…what can I possibly say to you? You love me? I’m the only girl for you? Then why the were you between her legs? It doesn’t make a difference now. You wanted her? You can have her. You’re both dead to me. As far as I’m concerned, the three of you and that child inside of her can rot in hell.”

“Lita, you don’t really mean that. You’re just angry.”

“I’m not angry,” I said. I wasn’t. The turmoil inside was gone. I was just tired. “Thank you Yong Guk. Thank you for ruining what I thought was the best relationship I’d ever had. At least now I don’t have to worry about what I would do if you ever realized I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Lita-”

“Nothing you say is going to change anything. Let’s just end it here.” My voice was back to normal. The angry tears were nowhere in sight. The little devil had disappeared. The storm seemed over to me and apparently it did to Yong Guk as well. He cautiously approached me and I let him, Himchan watching intently the whole time.

“Baby, don’t leave me.”

“What did I tell you?” A flash of the anger roared back to life. “Don’t call me baby. Don’t call me anything. It’s over Yong Guk.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “Don’t do this. I can fix this. We can fix this.”

“You really think so?” I asked.

He nodded. “I want to. I don’t want to lose you.”

An evil smirk graced my lips before I rammed the knife into his bicep. While he twisted on the ground in pain, I bid goodnight to Himchan and made my way back to my house. That night, with all the secrets out in the open, I slept more soundly than I had in the past four months.