in light of recent events, I will be changing the name of the character "sulli" to "sunny". please stay safe and reach out whenever you feel like it's getting too hard. remember that I am always here and you can vent as much as you want!

happy reading!

25

“Have I ever told you how dangerous this thing is?” Hara yells over the loud roaring of the motorbike.

She feels Yoongi’s chest vibrate with laughter and she quickly tightens her grip around his waist, closing her eyes as the freezing wind meets her skin like daggers. 

“As the kids say these days, it's lit!”

Hara would have smacked the boy if she wasn’t so afraid of accidentally sending them both into the huge truck driving next to them, and Yoongi’s laugh can be heard this time. 

They finally reach his neighborhood and as he parks in a small, underground parking lot, Hara removes her frozen arms from around him and steps onto the ground, her joints cracking. 

“Not a sound a soon-to-be eighteen year old girl’s body should be making,” Yoongi comments, and this time Hara reaches over and playfully smacks his helmet, earning a loud cackle from the boy. Yoongi seems to be in a great mood today, for some weird ing reason, but Hara is not going to change that, she’s glad for him. 

“Tell me again why you didn’t just drop the bags off at my place instead of bringing me all the way here,” she says, following him over to a dangerously old looking elevator. 

“Because we’ll go together, that way no one will think you live with Jungkook.” Hara stares at him as the elevator starts moving up. 

“I could’ve just pretended to be one of the early guests, you do realize that?”

Yoongi just shrugs. “You can help me with my costume, then.” 

Hara decides she’s too cold to bother arguing, so she just sighs and leans her back against the wall. They reach the right floor and then enter Yoongi’s apartment, which for some crazy reason is just as cold as the world outside, and Hara squeals in surprise, a violent shudder running down her back. 

“What the , Yoongi?” 

“Yeah, the built-in heater has been broken for a week,” the boy sheepishly mutters before jogging over to the portable mini heater located near his beaten down sofa-bed.

He cranks it to the fullest and then turns towards Hara, clapping his hands together, a small smile on his face.

"Okay, then. Let’s get spooky.”

“Who are you and what have you done to Yoongi?” Hara asks, eyes wide, and Yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes before walking over to the mini kitchenette.

“Why, aren’t you dramatic?”

“No, seriously,” Hara says, following him. “You’re like, in a really great mood, Yoongi. I’m really happy, , it’s refreshing to see it, but I’m also curious.”

Yoongi is fiddling with the electric kettle, and he just shrugs, turning towards her. 

“I don’t really know.” 

He thinks for a moment and then turns to grab two mugs. Hara watches him scoop some hot cocoa powder into both mugs, followed by sugar and a little milk, and when the kettle’s done, he sighs, back still turned to her. 

“I guess I just feel good. Things are finally changing, you know, for the better. I’m-I’m happy, I guess.” He turns towards Hara and holds out one of the mugs. “Hot cocoa?” 

Hara has always had two types of approaches to the concept of love. One is friendship and one is romantic. 

Mina and Sana both mean everything to her, and Hara thinks she can relate to Jungkook in that matter. She’d do anything for those girls, and the idea of anyone bothering them makes her blood boil. 

And then there’s her parents, both of whom she loves so damn much, but childhood trauma and pain have left her feeling tense around her mother. Her dad has always been the better one out of the two, even though the fights were quite frightening to witness, but he was always more progressive in thought, more free minded, which is why Hara is thinking of running away to him.  

Mina and Sana both have to live their lives, they cannot be burdened by Hara, and as much as she hates the idea of weighing down her father, the blood running through her veins is a part of him - he will love to have her back, right?

The only reason why he hasn’t contacted her in the past year and a half is because of her mother who wants nothing to do with him.

Hara understands why her mother has always been so cold towards him, she knows it has to do with his lack of money, the ton of debt that Yunho has probably already paid off and the clear lack of love and chemistry between them, but does she dislike Sora for thinking that way, and , she cannot wait to finally meet him again, to try to start over with him, to try to finally get the parental figure that she has been needing all her life. 

There's a voice in her head, it's Jungkook's she realizes, and Hara can feel a pang of longing in her chest when she recalls what he had said about her mother trying to fix things for her. 

Maybe she should stay?

For a foolish moment, she wonders if maybe she should live with her mom for a bit. Maybe she should give Yunho a proper chance, maybe she should stop imagining that the solution to all her problems is her dad. 

Friendly and familial love is strong, but what if Hara's looking for it in the wrong place? What if there is a good reason why her dad no longer is in their lives, besides the obvious toxic relationship they had? What if there is a reason why her dad hasn't called her in a year and a half? 

What if this is her second chance at life? 

"Hara? Hello, anyone in there?"

And then, there’s the romantic type of love. 

Hara accepts the cup Yoongi’s holding out to her and smiles at his curious frown, following him over to the couch where they both curl up in their usual spots. She watches him take out his phone, his lips pulling into an involuntary grin as he receives a text from most definitely Hoseok. 

Hara has only had a brief brush with the romantic type of love.

The one where both parties are equally invested in one another, the one where there is a mutual agreement of support, love and loyalty. 

Hara had seen it back when she was a child, as far back as she can remember, and then she also had the misfortune of watching it crumble in front of her eyes. 

She has always thought of love as a fragile thing.

It’s weak and needs constant nurturing, and if one thing goes wrong, it’ll disappear, just like that. Right?

“ing idiot,” Yoongi mutters, laughing under his breath as he replies. 

But sometimes, Hara thinks as she watches him, sometimes maybe it only needs a small intervention to relight the flame?

Yoongi looks up from his phone and blinks, cheeks turning pink when he catches Hara staring at him, and the girl just smiles, looking away. 

Hara is happy for Yoongi, she’s happy for Hoseok, and she’s happy for Sora and Yunho.

But she doesn’t need love. She isn't stupid. 

She doesn’t need to depend on someone else when she’s as troubled and weary as she is, when she is constantly itching to run off and disappear, no one deserves such a burden in their life.

What she needs is to get her life back on track and move on from her current mess of a situation.

There is no point in trying to start something with Sora and Yunho when she is still stuck in her bedroom as a six year old frightened child, watching her parents yell at each other over things she was not yet big enough to understand. 

And as much as it pains Hara to tell herself that - she knows that in the end it’s for the best. 

“Hoseok and Taehyung are gonna drop by soon. They’re our ride.”

“Nice,” Hara says, and doesn’t comment on the boy’s flushed cheeks. She sips her drink and stares at the wall across from her before Yoongi suddenly snaps his fingers. 

“Oh, yes, the costumes, we gotta start getting ready.” 

He jumps to his feet and goes to grab the bags before returning, a smirk on his face. He drops some of them on Hara’s lap before going back to the bathroom. Hara sighs and starts pulling out the clothes and when everything is laid out in front of her she frowns. 

“A police officer?” 

“Yeah, or more like an FBI agent, that okay?” Yoongi calls back from the bathroom, and Hara sighs and wonders if the boys have been conspiring together, because Taehyung and Hoseok had also insisted she dress up as a policewoman. 

“Yeah, I guess.” She stands up and grabs her clothes, walking over to the bathroom before knocking on the door. “You done or should I change out here?” 

“I’m done.” 

Hara’s jaw drops when Yoongi opens the door, and the boy self consciously fixes the hem of his blazer. Hara takes in the suit, his gelled back hair, the black-rimmed glasses, and she scoffs. 

“You watch Kingsmen?” 

“I’ve got impeccable taste in movies, yeah, I do,” Yoongi replies, offended, and Hara laughs, placing a hand against . “Why are you laughing? Is it because I look weird? I knew this was a bad id-”

“You look great!” Hara can’t stop giggling, and Yoongi’s lips stretch into a small but confused smile as he watches her. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes! You look amazing, I just wasn’t expecting it is all.” Hara sighs and shakes her head, cheeks hurting from all the grinning. “So, who’s gonna be the Harry to your Eggsy?” 

“Galahad, who's gonna be the Galahad,” Yoongi corrects and Hara has to bite her lip to keep back a laugh, “and I don’t know, I don’t know if there’s anyone out there with a fantastic taste in pop culture.”

Hara nods and Yoongi sighs. A couple of seconds pass before the boy starts fixing his tie and then reaches for his hair, a worried look on his face. 

“Hey, mind giving me a hand? I fricking at applying gel.” 

Hara helps Yoongi properly style his black hair and then locks herself up in the bathroom to change into her costume. Halfway through, she hears a ruckus outside and she can only assume the boys have arrived. 

The shirt fits snugly, the black, highwaisted slacks also hug her curves more than she would usually allow, and she decides to just leave her hair open and wavy. After pulling on the black blazer Yoongi had bought, Hara s the collar of her white shirt and takes in her reflection in the mirror. 

She unfortunately does not know how to apply make up, nor does she own any, so she sighs and grabs the black tie from one of the bags before exiting the bathroom. 

“And then, when we stopped at a red light, this old couple next to us almost had a heart att- sweet jesus christ, look at you!” 

Hara startles, laughing in surprise at Taehyung’s reaction, and both Hoseok and Yoongi turn around, their eyes widening in surprise at Hara’s outfit, and the girl slowly waves a hand in front of them. 

“I’m feeling very uncomfortable, guys,” she says, and Hoseok laughs while Taehyung quickly walks up to her and grabs the tie from her. 

“Sorry, just surprised how much a white shirt and black slacks can do for a girl.” 

“Same goes for guys,” Hoseok smugly mumbles somewhere in the background, but Hara doesn’t pay it much mind while watching Taehyung’s dexterous fingers finish the job in record time.

“Thanks, Tae.” 

“Wait, it’s missing something,” he mumbles and then grins in realization before wiping a finger against his lips, and Hara watches him in shock while he rubs his reddened digit against her parted lips. “There you go.”

“Does being the Joker entail you constantly wanting to get your kicked?” Yoongi asks from behind them, and Taehyung jumps away before Hara can land a punch against his bicep.

“Hey, I did you a favour! The red lips completely change the look, okay?”

“At least give me a warning before you do like that,” Hara snaps, and Taehyung just laughs and points to his lips, motioning for Hara to smile. 

Hara then has the chance to take in their outfits, and she can’t help but grin. 

Taehyung is dressed up as the joker, and he’s wearing the infamous purple suit, his hair a curly mess, face painted with makeup and lips stretched into a creepy grin. Hoseok is dressed as Galahad, a shy smile on his face. Yoongi can’t seem to look up from his dress shoes. 

“So, guys,” Hara says, reaching for the bag containing her boots and a fake gun Yoongi had conjured up from seemingly nowhere, “are you ready to mingle among a bunch of stupid, hormonal teens?”

“Heck yeah!” Taehyung and Hoseok yell at the same time as Yoongi shakes his head and grimaces. 

They leave the apartment and start on the journey to the party, and Taehyung helps everyone loosen up by playing a bunch of throwbacks, making even Yoongi join in once in a while to rap to some of the songs, and Hara can’t seem to stop laughing.

So this is what it feels like? To be happy and carefree? 

The mansion is decorated to the top, flashing lights and loud bass music beckoning all the students closer with a promise of a good time, and Hara shivers as she follows the boys out of the car. 

There’s a gang of girls giggling near the entrance, red cups in their hands, and Hara wonders if maybe it’s the alcohol that’s keeping them warm because those short nurse’s outfits barely cover their bodies. 

The house is full of people, the lights are flashing and the music is crazy loud, and for some reason it’s cold inside but none of the moving bodies seem to mind, and Hara almost gets lost twice in her own house but Taehyung thankfully appears out of nowhere each time, hand reaching across dancing bodies to pull her along. 

“This is crazy,” he yells over the loud music once they reach the refreshment table, and Hara nods, already feeling a headache forming. Hoseok and Yoongi are nowhere to be seen, and Hara bites back a smirk, hoping for the best. 

Taehyung grabs two red cups and hands one to Hara, but the girl instantly declines. 

“I don’t drink,” she shouts over the music, and Taehyung blinks in realization before chugging down the contents of both of the cups. “Taehyung, what the hell? Slow down, the night hasn’t even started!” 

“You can’t catch me!” 

The boy laughs like a maniac, grabs two more cups and disappears in the throng of bodies.

Hara just stares, dumbfounded, and it isn’t until someone lightly taps her shoulder that she realizes she’s at a bloody party, she unfortunately has got no choice but to be social. 

She mentally prepares herself for whatever and stupid boy she is about to face but blinks in surprise when she finds Jungkook staring down at her, his lips parted and eyes a little wide because they’re wearing matching, fricking outfits. 

Jungkook’s hair is styled so a few strands are messily falling against his forehead, he isn't wearing any blazer but his white shirt exposes a wide and toned chest, tie a little loose, and Hara tries not to gulp, completely forgoing looking down at his thick thighs that she just knows are straining against the material of the slacks he’s wearing. 

“Glad you could make it,” Jungkook says, a little loudly so Hara can hear him over the thumping bass, and she snorts, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Didn’t really have anywhere else to go.” Jungkook rolls his eyes but his lips are stretched into a small smirk, and Hara hates how her cheeks are warming up even in this cold of a bloody room. “Where’s Sunny? She been snooping around yet?” 

“No one is doing any snooping, all the doors are locked and I’ve also informed everyone not to try anything funny,” Jungkook says, and Hara nods, looking off to the side for a moment.

She briefly wonders what Sora and Yunho are up to, probably a business trip to let Jungkook have the house for the party weekend. 

“So, you gonna hover over here all night or do you plan on joining the rest like a normal human being?” Jungkook yells over the loud music, and Hara sighs. 

“I’ll join them when I’m not freezing my off.” 

“Grab a drink, it’ll warm you up.” 

Hara shakes her head. “Don’t drink.” 

Jungkook’s lips curve into a knowing smile, as if he had been expecting that reply, but Hara doesn’t get to think into it because the boy nods and points at the hallways leading to the kitchen. 

“There’s soda and root beer in the fridge.” 

"Thanks,” Hara says, not wanting to think about the fact that there was none of it yesterday when she had gone to drink some water during the night. Jungkook nods in reply and puts on a pair of black sunglasses, looking even more like an undercover agent.

Hara ignores how attractive it makes him look and steps past the boy, hurriedly walking away so she won’t have to continue feeling like a stupid, lovestruck teenager.

She moves past groups of students dressed in surprisingly creative costumes. Some of the boys eye her up and she uncomfortably walks past them, wondering why the hell they're ogling her when she's literally covered from head to toe, unlike most of the girls at the party.  

When she finally reaches the dining hall, she sighs in relief because no one is there, and she quickly walks over to the doors leading to the kitchen. 

She has only been here twice before.

Maybe she should start coming by during morning hours so she can catch up with the head chef, Heechul, Hara thinks as she walks over to the huge fridge.

She grabs a can of sprite and takes a much needed sip, groaning in relief as the cold liquid moves down her burning throat. 

“Well, aren’t you a sight to see?” 

Hara jumps in surprise and accidentally spills some of the soda on her shirt, yelping when the front of it suddenly becomes see-through. Of all days to wear a black bralette, god damn it. 

“Holy , that’s hot.”

Hara finally gets to see what disgusting creature has been bothering her all this time and she frowns, feeling a slight spark of fear for some reason.

The boy is wearing a long, black cloak, obviously dressed as the grim reaper but he’s missing the scythe, which Hara is thankful for because the wide grin on his face is scary enough to have her heart skip a beat in fear.  

“Well, then I’d suggest you keep your distance if you don’t wanna get burned,” she says, placing a hand against her semi exposed chest before trying to step past the tall boy, but he suddenly steps in her way.

"Haven't your parents taught you any manners?"

"They have. Please, step aside so I can get the out of here."

The boy huffs out a laugh and tilts his head to the side. "Why are you hiding away in here?"

"I am not hiding, now move," Hara says through gritted teeth, both anger and fear spiking her blood with adrenaline. 

"I don't wanna." Hara tries to sidestep him but he follows her movements, still grinning. "I wanna have some fun with you."

"Well I quite frankly don't wanna see your face for a second longer," Hara snaps and moves past him but the boy suddenly grabs her arm and pushes her against the counter behind her. 

“Got a mouth on you, too, huh?” He smirks and leans close. “Mind sharing your name, miss?”

“Not really interested, now move.” Hara pushes against him but the boy doesn’t budge, and she starts to panic, feeling her heartbeat quicken. “Move or I will scream.”

“You think anyone’s gonna hear you?” The boy cackles and Hara literally fears for her life. “We’re all alone in here, babe, it’s just you and -”

“Namjoon?” 

Both Hara and the boy, Namjoon, look over at Yoongi who is standing in the entrance of the kitchen, his eyes wide with not only anger but also panic. Hara’s mind spins when she puts two and two together and realizes that the boy in front of her is the one who ruined Yoongi’s life. 

Namjoon, the druggie who Jungkook had brought back to Yoongi over. 

Namjoon looks over at Yoongi, a wide grin on his face, and he shrugs, arms still cornering Hara against the counter.

“Hey, hyung. Long time no see?” 

A/N

jk's outfit is supposed to be the one from bts' mama 2017 mic drop performance.