22

“You ready?”

It’s finally friday, they're sitting in Taehyung's rarely used Tesla and Hara feels more nervous than both boys combined. 

Taehyung bites his lip and nods, Hoseok just numbly stares out of the car window in the back. 

Hara decides not to waste any more time and gives Taehyung an encouraging nod and the boy turns the engine on, the car coming to life in the busy parking lot.

Jungkook is eyeing them from his maserati, surrounded by a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders, and Hara feels her heart skip a beat at the memories from Tuesday. 

She ignored him. Completely. 

She’d come home late, she’d leave extra early, and in case he decided to pay her room a visit, she’d lock the door and plug in her earphones. Jungkook has put on a permanent mask of guilt whenever Hara looks at him, and she hates it. 

Yunho and Sora have also kept their distance, both weary of interacting with Hara this soon after her reaction to their engagement, and honestly, Hara is grateful. Jungkook has already ed her up, she does not need to add more to that list. 

She’s got a mission and she’s gonna follow her damn plan, no matter what hindrance tries preventing her. 

“Okay, let’s do this,” Taehyung says, nodding rapidly, and Hara snaps out of her thoughts, looking away when she notices Jungkook is still staring. Sunny is practically hanging from his arm, a glare on her face all the while, and Hara wonders how toxic their relationship is. 

“Let’s go.” 

Yoongi is at home, since he finished long before them, and Hara has told him she’s coming over to visit, but the plan is to convince him to join them out tonight. Yoongi obviously doesn’t know Taehyung and Hoseok are joining, nor does he know what they’re really planning on doing, but Hara’s hoping he’ll join them. 

They drive in silence until they reach Yoongi’s neighborhood on the outskirt of the town, and Taehyung looks guilty parking his tesla outside the old apartment building, but Hoseok doesn’t give off any emotions and Hara guesses it’s because they’ve both been here before, plus Hoseok knows how to hide his feelings while Taehyung wears them on his sleeve. 

“Just wait here, I’ll be back in a minute,” Hara says, unclasping her seatbelt, and Taehyung worries his lower lip, nodding. 

“What makes you think he’ll join you?” Hara freezes and looks over her shoulder. Hoseok frowns at her. “He won’t come.”

“I can try,” Hara mutters, but Hoseok suddenly unclasps his seatbelt and starts putting on his coat. 

“Stay in the car, Tae.” 

And then he exits and walks up to the entrance, ringing the bell with zero hesitation. Hara shares a surprised look with Taehyung but doesn’t waste any time before scrambling off after the boy. 

They’re buzzed in after a couple of seconds, and Hara feels dizzy walking up the steps to the apartment, her heart beating loudly in her ears, but Hoseok suddenly reaches for her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Hara doesn’t know why but it makes her heart jump to . , she really cares about these boys, huh?

“Okay, let’s just do this,” she whispers, knocking on the door.

There’s a faint “it’s open”, and Hara drags in a deep breath before opening the door, stepping in with Hoseok following her. 

Yoongi is in the middle of placing a can of soda on the coffee table, his shoulders dropping in defeat when he notices the unwanted company. He straightens up and sighs, and Hara notices that he looks tired, eyebags heavy, skin paler than usual. 

Yeah, this is gonna be difficult.  

“Hey,” Hoseok mumbles, hands seeking refuge in his coat pockets, and Hara feels her palms clam up in nervousness. Yoongi’s jaw clenches, his stare hard. “You still drink that nasty soda.”

Yoongi doesn’t look down at the can in his hand. “It’s melon flavored. Only people with-"

"Sophisticated taste buds like this .” Hoseok looks like he might cry any second, and he laughs, blinking away tears. Hara feels like she’s intruding on something private, but she lowly clears and raises a hand. 

“Uh, we’re actually going out today.” Yoongi arches an eyebrow. “We wanted to take you with us.”

“Is this your way of apologizing?” Yoongi asks, looking over at Hoseok who looks awfully uncomfortable. 

“Not really,” he says, and Hara panics a little when she realizes that Yoongi doesn’t know what they’re gonna do. If they tell him he’ll definitely throw them out and lock himself up, but if they don’t tell him and take him to the rehab center - Hara doesn’t know what will happen. 

But she’s ready to take the risk, as long as she can take all the blame and save their stupid friendship.

“Taehyung is waiting in the car, Yoongi,” she says, taking a step back towards the exit, “we should hurry up. Just put on a coat and your shoes.”

“Is Jeon also in the car?” 

“No,” Hoseok mutters, and Hara is surprised to find a little disappointment flicker in Yoongi’s eyes. But, for some crazy reason, he just nods and walks up to them, pulling on his sneakers and coat. They leave the apartment and make it down to the car, and Taehyung jumps in surprise when he sees them exit the building, quickly starting the engine. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Yoongi greets as he gets in the passenger seat, and Hara enters the back with Hoseok, her nerves buzzing all the while. 

“Hyung, it’s-it's really nice to see you!" Taehyung grins, still dumbfounded, and Yoongi just chuckles and clicks his seatbelt shut.

The car ride this time is not silent. 

Taehyung keeps talking, unable to shut up about anything and everything, and Yoongi is surprisingly lenient, answering or commenting on everything the younger boy says. Even Hoseok pipes in with witty replies or sarcastic comments, and for a moment it seems like nothing has changed between them.

Hara sees the ghost of a beautiful friendship, and her heart aches to bring it back to life. 

As they ride on the highway, nearing the neighborhood of the rehab facility, Hara feels anxious again, panic nibbling on her nerves, and Hoseok notices, quickly reaching for her hand to offer her some semblance of comfort. Hara clings to it like a lifeline. 

Yoongi is in the middle of discussing a basketball game with Taehyung when he trails off, his jaw clenching when he notices where they are, and Taehyung gulps, nervously turning the steering wheel so they enter the parking lot of the rehab. It’s not until they’ve parked and the car is turned off that Yoongi speaks up. 

“Why?” is all he murmurs, and yet it sounds like a shout in Hara’s mind, clogging up as she tries forming an answer, but Hoseok, that ing angel, beats her to it. 

“Because I want to believe you.” Yoongi slowly turns around in his seat, eyes bloodshot and accusing as they find Hoseok’s genuinely sad gaze. “This can’t continue, hyung. We can’t keep treating each other like strangers.”

Hoseok’s words seem to have kicked off a war in Yoongi’s mind, because the boy keeps staring at him, jaw clenched, eyes still burning into him, and the car stays silent, no one daring to make a sound in case it’ll tip him off. 

And then he laughs. 

All broken and humourless, and Hara can’t help it when a tear trails down her cheek, pain squeezing her heart. Hoseok averts his gaze and Taehyung roughly wipes away tears, lips involuntarily pulled into a pout. 

“What do I have to lose?” Yoongi whispers, shaking his head, a bitter smile on his lips, and he doesn’t give anyone the chance to answer, throwing open the car door before exiting.

The others follow suit, all red eyed and heavy with guilt. 

They sign a bunch of papers and go through a metal detector before a guard leads them down dimly lit hallways of steel doors, and when they finally reach Jimin’s quarters, they’re left on their own. 

No one dares open the door, but they know Jimin has been informed of their visit by the receptionist who asked for his permission, so Hara musters all the courage she can find in the cluster of feelings clogging up her chest and opens the door. 

It’s surprisingly big, but Hara guesses it’s due to Jimin’s affluent background. There’s a king sized bed, a desk with writing equipment and a bunch of books, and Hara instantly notices the drawings taped to the pristine walls. 

It looks like a room devoid of color but desperately decorated with some semblance of life. 

However, the boy sitting on the chair in front of the desk looks anything but alive. His cheeks are hollow, his skin pale, but his eyes are wide with surprise, and happiness tugs his lips into a wide smile.  

“Yoongi hyung?” Jimin slowly gets up, disbelief written all over his face, “you really came?” 

“Hey, kid,” Yoongi forces out through gritted teeth, his eyes b with tears. “I see you haven’t given up on drawing."

“You told me I’m good, how could I not listen to you?”

Yoongi closes his eyes at that, tears freely moving down his face, and Hara looks away. Jimin seems to only then notice her and he frowns curiously, lips still etched into a small smile. 

“Who’s this?” 

Hara blinks away the tears fogging her vision and quickly steps forward, holding out a hand. “I’m Hara, Kim Hara. I’m, uh, kinda a new addition to the gang.” 

“You're Hara?” Jimin laughs in surprise and shakes her hand. “Jungkook has told me all about you.” 

Everyone in the room looks at Jimin in absolute shock. Hara blinks rapidly, frowning deeply. 

“What-what do you mean?”

“Has Jungkook visited you recently?” Hoseok asks, and Taehyung steps closer to him, looking equally worried. Yoongi’s jaw clenches. 

“Yeah, he visits me every week.” Jimin bites his lip. “I guess he doesn’t tell you guys about it.”

“But I don’t get it,” Hara mutters, “he-he ruined your life, he used you to get Yoongi expelled, how can he just visit you like everything is okay?”

Jimin is visibly startled by the sudden attack, but before Hara can apologize he slowly nods.

“Jungkook feels guilty. He has been visiting me every week since my admittance and he keeps me company, checks up on me, makes sure the reports are good so he can get me out of here as fast as possible.”

Jimin trails off and frowns at his friends' reactions.

Hara darts a glance at the boys next to her and finds all of them equally troubled by the newfound knowledge about Jungkook. Especially Hoseok who gives Yoongi a sorry and guilty frown.

"Jungkook regrets what he did, he clearly hasn't told you guys but it has been eating him up alive,” Jimin whispers, shaking his head, “he’s not good with emotions, all of you know that. It is true that he tried getting Yoongi hyung expelled by using me, but I kind of ruined his plan. This isn’t his fault entirely.”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” Yoongi snaps, his nose flaring as he steps closer, “you’re defending the person who put you here to begin with, Jimin, what the is going on inside that head of yours?”

“A lot. A lot is going on, but unlike you guys I don’t like holding grudges. I have forgiven him for everything he has done because I know why.”

Jimin stubbornly lifts his head and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Jungkook was scared because of you, hyung, he didn’t know how to handle a new addition to the group, especially one that he himself liked.”

Yoongi’s furious glare slowly morphs into a confused frown. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Jimin actually laughs and shakes his head.

“Of course, you never understood that part, did you?” He sighs and smiles a bittersweet smile that makes something in Hara’s chest clench in pain. “Jungkook’s different. He has been since day one. I knew him from before high school because of our parents, but I didn’t get to know the real him until Yoongi hyung started at our college.”

Jimin seems to have used up all his energy by standing, and he sheepishly laughs as he grabs his chair and sits down on it. Yoongi looks like he’s seconds away from murdering someone. 

“Sorry about that, but yes, during Yoongi’s third week here, Jungkook got drunk. It was only us in his room, and he said a lot of things. Things he has never told anyone. Yoongi knows a little from one of my own drunken episodes, but unless he has broken his promise-”

“I haven’t told anyone but Hara,” Yoongi quickly assures, and Jimin blinks in surprise before snorting. 

“They trust you.” Hara feels her cheeks heat up at the sudden attention and shrugs. Jimin shyly smiles. “Jungkook also trusts you, you know. I’m pretty sure he has shown you a side of him no one but I know of. He has, hasn’t he?”

Hara doesn’t want to answer, but her silence seems to be answer enough for Jimin who lightly laughs. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t pry.”

His smile then drops and he sighs and runs a hand through shaggy, black hair. Hara already dreads whatever he is about to tell them. 

“Jungkook was nine when he first met Yunho. He was stealing from a grocery store, a bunch of bandages and a bottle of beer."

Jimin scoffs humorlessly and shakes his head when he receives confused frowns from everyone.

"It was for his abusive father, that piece of used Jungkook as a personal punching bag to relieve all of his frustrations from having to raise him alone in one of the tiest neighborhoods in Seoul. I'm pretty sure there are more scars than skin underneath Jungkook's uniform."

Taehyung gapes in shock while Hoseok places a hand to his mouth. Hara looks over at Yoongi in surprise, not having heard the details of the story, and the boy keeps staring at his feet, jaw clenched. 

“Yunho tried talking to him, but Jungkook got scared and ran off, thinking he was caught stealing. It was a very bad day to come home empty handed.” Jimin smiles bitterly, eyes glossy. “Jungkook was 60 pounds of battered bones and skittish nerves, the only thing that saved him that night was a broken lamp.” 

A shiver runs down Hara’s back. 

The room turns ice cold, tension palpable, and Jimin seems to be the only one still breathing. 

Taehyung has to sit down on the bed, Hara feels her heart break, her chest suddenly feeling hollow, and she watches a horrified Hoseok be guided over to Taehyung by Yoongi. 

The boy stays next to him, a hand firmly wrapped around his shoulders, and there’s discomfort in the way he can’t seem to look up from his lap. Clearly, these details never had the chance to reach anyone else but Jimin.  

“Yunho found him again, at the same grocery store a week later, on the verge of starvation.”

Jimin seems to have a mission to finish the story no matter how much it hurts, and he his dry lips and nods in determination.

"He adopted him without hesitation. The murder was shrugged off as self defense, Jungkook’s papers were rewritten, his past erased. He got the life he deserved from day one, but the problem is that he keeps living with the fear that it might all disappear one day. He’s possessive of his friends, of his family, he’s scared of change because change means loss and he’d rather kill himself than lose what he has achieved.”

“ing idiot,” Yoongi mutters under his breath, and Taehyung chokes on a sob behind him. Hara is filled to the brim with pure guilt.

She swallows thickly and steps forward because there's still something bothering her mind.

“He ruined your life. And Yoongi’s, he keeps sending goons over to bother him,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest, maybe to subconsciously comfort herself cause damn has she been put on a roller coaster ride of bull today. “He does whatever he wants to do without thinking of others. His past is ed up, but I don’t think it warrants his despicable personality.”

Jimin stares at Hara for a moment, a small smile on his lips, before he nods, getting to his feet.

“He actually kept that a secret until last month,” he says, coming to a stop in front of Hara. “Told me that he never explicitly sent them to bother Yoongi. Those boys just couldn't handle the idea of an exchanges student from the slums attending the same college as them, so the second Jungkook broke ties with Yoongi they decided to attack."

Jimin tilts his head to the side as he puts his hands in his pant pockets. 

"Jungkook knew about it, but he never intervened until last month. Told me that he threatened to have them expelled if they ever as much as looked in Yoongi hyung’s direction. I wonder what changed.”

Hara hates this.

Everything is working out in Jungkook’s favour. 

She came to find a reason to hate the boy more, but she’s gonna end up leaving with a newfound liking to him. Why? Because she now knows.

She now knows why he is the way he is. She now knows why he does what he does. And the fact that he regrets his actions, the fact that he’s trying to right his wrong doings - . 

Hara’s ed. 

“You look a little pale, Hara,” Jimin gently murmurs, and the girl snaps out of her thoughts, eyes wide, caught red handed, “I’ve said too much, haven’t I? Think I might’ve overwhelmed you guys.” 

He laughs when the boys dumbly stare at him, still trying to take in the truckload of information, but Hara's lost stare is of a different kind. Jimin seems to recognize it and he steps closer and gently squeezes her shoulder. 

“Give him a chance, Hara.” Hara snaps out of her thoughts and Jimin lowers his voice, a shy smile on his face. “He’s much better than you think. Much, much better.”

There’s a loud buzzing sound and the door behind them opens. 

“Time’s up, guys,” the guard from earlier says, stepping inside. “Visiting hours are over.”

Taehyung frowns and quickly jumps up from the bed, all but running over to Jimin before engulfing him in a bone crushing hug. 

“I don’t wanna go,” he yells, and Jimin laughs, but there is sorrow in his eyes, yearning, and he pats Taehyung’s head before pulling away. 

“You can come back next week, Tae. Besides, I've only got a little over a month left here.”

Taehyung’s eyes almost jump out of their sockets, Yoongi and Hoseok both blink in surprise as they walk over to the commotion, and Hara feels relief for some reason. Jimin looks trapped in here, he looks lonely even when surrounded by all the drawings. 

It is about damn time he leaves.

“Are you serious?” Hoseok squeaks, and Jimin grins, nodding excitedly. 

“I won’t make it in time for the annual Halloween party, but I’ll come for Christmas dinner.” He looks at all of them and sighs. “I can’t wait to hang out with you guys. You included, Hara.” 

Hara averts her gaze in guilt, and Yoongi, who is the only one aware of her plans, forces a smile onto his face and gives Jimin a tight hug. A much needed distraction. 

“You better not be lying, punk.” He pulls away and pats Jimin’s cheek. “If I don’t see you at the table wearing an ugly christmas sweater, I’m burning this place down.”

Jimin laughs and tells him that he should be more careful throwing such threats around, especially since the impatient guard behind them is listening. 

Hara watches the exchange of goodbyes with a heavy heart, and when the guard has had enough and all but forces them out, she looks over her shoulder and swallows thickly as Jimin knowingly smiles at her, eyes crinkling with mirth. 

If Jungkook has been regularly visiting Jimin and confiding in him, he must have told him about Hara and her shenanigans. But more importantly, he most definitely has told him about his feelings for her, and judging by the stupid grin on his face, Jimin doesn't know about Hara rejecting his friend.

"Good luck,” he mouths, and Hara dumbly watches the door close, her heart beating harshly against her chest because clearly, Jimin ing knows.

Jimin knows that she feels something for his stupid friend.

Something more than anger and hatred. Something completely different than that.