Warning(s): cursing, mentions of ual content
Length: 10.9k words

  05: tension  

[ 1 ]

 

 

Baekhyun opened his door to reveal the one and only— “Jieun?” He was astonished to see her in the flesh, outside his apartment, smiling that good-for-nothing smile. Upon seeing her pretty and dangerous face, flashes of what they had done together flickered through his mind. From Seulgi introducing her to him, to groping each other in the dark, to taking her home—it all came back to him like a flash flood. It overwhelmed and nearly drowned him, leaving him to a state where all he could muster up was a shocked, “What are you doing here?”

 

“Wow, I feel very welcomed,” Jieun replied with a short laugh. She motioned towards the sidewalk. “I just saw your car parked out front.”

 

I just saw your car parked out front. Baekhyun narrowed his eyes at the statement. He had only known Jieun for a few weeks before losing contact with her, but he knew her well enough to know that innocuous statements like that disguised a darker intention. Still, he was much too polite to call attention to it. Besides, it would be rude if he acted openly hostile to someone who wasn’t acting the same way.

 

So, he smiled. “I see. What are you doing in the neighborhood?”

 

“I actually wanted to see you.” Jieun returned his smile and twirled a lock of hair with gloved hand. “Can I come in? It’ll only take a few minutes.”

 

“I suppose you could.”

 

Baekhyun hesitantly moved out the way to let her inside. He really didn’t want to invite her to his apartment, but he didn’t want to raise unnecessary suspicion—in addition, it was freezing outside. Ice had started to form on damp areas of the grass. It would be beyond rude to let Jieun stand out there.

 

“What’s going on?” Baekhyun asked when they were comfortably sitting on his couch. His gaze flicked to the hallway leading to his bedroom. Miyoung was still here, and as long as she was here, nothing was safe. Even if Jieun didn’t know about his predicament with her, even if Jieun probably wouldn’t care, he still didn’t want to take this risk.

 

“I’m here to apologize. I’m sorry I stood you up,” Jieun said, and it took Baekhyun a moment to realize that she was referring to the date they were supposed to have at Andongjang. It was coincidentally the same day where he saw Miyoung outside of school and tutoring for the first time. “I really did mean to come, but ah—you know.” She grinned sheepishly. “Some complicated things came up, but I’m here to tell you that I still want to try something out.”

 

Baekhyun opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it—only to reopen it once more. “Jieun, I appreciate your apology, but,” he paused, “it’s a little too late for that. I’m with someone else now.”

 

Her face fell. “Oh.”

 

Oh was not an oh when it came to someone like Jieun. Although her face suggested that she was a kind and soft-hearted person, she was anything but those things. Baekhyun, though he never really just “hung out” with her, had firsthand experience of her subtly contemptuous attitude. She wasn’t even from a rich family nor was she wealthy on her own, but it was clear to him that she believed she was entitled to certain things—even if she really wasn’t.

 

“How is she?”

 

“She’s great,” Baekhyun replied as vaguely as possible. “But Jieun, if you came here for me, I’m really sorry to have to disappoint you, but—”

 

“Are you happy with her?”

 

“Yes, and—”

 

“That sounds good.” Jieun nodded, but her face was scrunched up, visibly upset and disappointed. “I’m happy for you, but I—I thought we, um, you know, had a connection.”

 

Baekhyun wanted to laugh at her unintentional innuendo, but he didn’t because he shouldn’t. “Jieun,” he whispered, “I’m sorry, but I thought we made it clear that what we had was nothing more than physical.” The memory of that specific discussion wasn’t so fresh anymore, but he still remembered how clear he had been with her. “And you stopped seeing me for weeks, remember? We were supposed to talk about it on that last date, but you didn’t show up, so I thought we were done.”

 

Jieun’s gaze on him was soft. “Baekhyun,” she mumbled, “I—” She cut herself off to sigh. “You’re right. I should have been better with communication.” Her gaze might have been silk, but silk was easily torn. Within the span of seconds, her gazed turned to stone, and the corner of her lip was tilting upward. “But, don’t you want to think about it? Even just for a little bit?”

 

Think about it. Baekhyun felt like this was déjà vu. Miyoung hads said nearly the same thing to him when she was trying to convince him to “try something out” with her.

 

“No,” Baekhyun said adamantly, shaking his head for further effect. “I’m with someone else now, and I’m really happy where we’re at.”

 

“Are you really?” Jieun crossed her arms and uncrossed them to place a hand on his thigh. He stiffened at the contact, and her small grin evolved into a full-blown smirk. “You’re not really satisfied with this new girl, are you?”

 

Baekhyun quickly moved her hand away from him. “Look, there’s nothing you can do to change my mind. I never even liked you beyond what we did.” He stood up and walked towards the door. “I’m sorry, I am, but I’m not interested in a relationship with you at all.” He opened the door and nudged his head to gesture for her exit. “I’m not open to discussing this anymore. You can leave.”

 

Jieun stood up with the face of a toddler that didn’t get what she wanted. “She’s here, isn’t she?” Baekhyun, once more, stiffened. “I saw her shoes.” Jieun gestured with her eyes. “Michael Kors.” She scoffed. “Unless you want to start wearing women’s shoes, I don’t think those are yours.”

 

“Jieun, you can go now.” Baekhyun, without another word, gently pushed her out of his apartment.

 

Before he could close the door in her face, Jieun placed herself in the middle of the doorway and prevented him from closing it. “Baekhyun,” she said, “you have my number. Call me, okay?”

 

“Why would I want to call you?”

 

“Because,” Jieun shrugged, “all relationships are bound to end.” Although she knew nothing of Miyoung, her words were a warning to him, and it gave him goosebumps to think of that. “When yours does, just know that I’m always going to be here.” Jieun rolled her shoulders back in that familiar way she does when she wants to accentuate her chest. “I’m here now too—if you want to think about it again.”

 

Baekhyun locked his jaw as he stared down at her. He genuinely considered saying something rude, but he ultimately decided that he was better than throwing an insult at a pathetic girl, so he pushed her out of the doorway and closed the door in her face before she could protest.

 

Once he was alone again, Baekhyun took a deep breath and sighed a heavy breath of stress. He never thought he’d see Jieun again—especially after she abruptly cut off all contact with him. However, she was just here. She was talking to him and more strangely, pitching him an idea of a relationship. While a relationship was far from strange, he found it a little funny that she wanted that even after all the clear discussions and indications that they were essentially using each other for their own selfish desires.

 

Baekhyun walked back to his bedroom and knocked for Miyoung to open it despite the fact he had a key. She opened it almost immediately. Her eyes were wide, and had fallen slightly agape.

 

“Who was that?” she murmured.

 

Baekhyun didn’t have a specific answer to that. What was Jieun to him? A friend? No, friends didn’t just casually text each other in the middle of the night to hook up. An ex-girlfriend? No, the word “girlfriend” always came with emotional baggage, and he didn’t have any of that when it came to her; they hadn’t even put a label to their relationship. A one-night stand? Well, yes, but also no. However, none of those answers were necessary.

 

“Nobody as important as you,” Baekhyun finally said after a moment’s pause. His words caused Miyoung to blush, and she seemingly relinquished concern over who he had been talking to with ease. “So what were we doing?” he asked to further distract her.

 

Miyoung giggled. “Come here,” she said softly, and Baekhyun took her hand as she pulled him to his bed and straddled his hips when he fell backwards.

 

Immediately, she tried to pick up where there left off: a kiss. Her hands were in his hair, on his neck, on his chest—everywhere that made him sigh into her lips. Baekhyun would have enjoyed himself, but the sight of Jieun had disturbed him so much that he couldn’t focus Miyoung. It was only when her fingers found themselves ing the tops of his shirt that he could bring himself back to his senses, back to the reality where Miyoung was positively trying to undress him.

 

“Stop,” he murmured when he had pulled his lips away from hers. “Miyoung, don’t.”

 

The girl was dewy-eyed. “Why?”

 

“It makes me uncomfortable,” Baekhyun answered simply. Miyoung pouted, but there was nothing she could do to change his mind. “Remember what I said about respecting my decisions? Now’s the time where you do just that.”

 

Miyoung didn’t say or do anything but nod, but her face gave Baekhyun all the words he needed: she was disappointed. However, it wouldn’t persuade Baekhyun to changing his decision. Not only did he think they’d be moving too fast if he did decide to take their relationship to a ual level now, he was truly uncomfortable with doing anything with her since was still technically his student, and she was young. He knew better than to indulge her. Besides, it just didn’t feel right. Not like this. Not when he was too goddamn shaken up by Jieun to even think straight.

 

Baekhyun and Miyoung would instead lay there and talk about all sorts of things, and she was thankfully too distracted by their touching skin for her to notice how disconnected he was from their conversation. She didn’t know what he had done to another woman in that very same bed and how lying there with her now felt awkward and wrong.

 

 

[ 2 ]

 

 

“Seul?” It had only been three days since Jieun showed out of nowhere knocking on Baekhyun’s door, and now he had the infamous Kang Seulgi at his doorstep too—and she looked nowhere near as inviting as Jieun did. “Uh,” Baekhyun stammered, “what are you doing here? Do you need something?”

 

Seulgi was frowning. “Can I come in?”

 

“Yeah, su—”

 

Before Baekhyun could even finish his otherwise already short sentence, Seulgi pushed past him and pointed an accusatory finger directly as his face. He could only stand frozen in place as he stared down her manicured nail. An hour ago, he was sure that only four trustworthy people (including himself) knew about his relationship with his student. However, with Seulgi curling her lip and pointing at him like that, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Despite it though, he kept a straight face and even acted confused.

 

“What the hell, Seul?” Baekhyun swatted her hand away like he was offended and not worried. “Why are you pointing at me like I killed someone?”

 

“You hooked up with Jieun.”

 

Baekhyun froze again. “What?” he mumbled. He was relieved that Seulgi wasn’t here to gut him for his illicit relationship with a student, but Jieun? The mention of her name was all sorts of bad news. “W-What are you talking about?”

 

“You hooked up with Jieun,” Seulgi repeated. She had crossed her arms in clear disapproval—for whatever reason. “Don’t deny it. You drove her home that one night, and I can only imagine what you two really did.” Seulgi shuddered and rubbed her arms as if saying it aloud dirtied her skin. “Now why don’t you tell me why on earth you did that? I hate that , and now she’s trying to use me to get to you!”

 

“Well, I, uh…”

 

“Ugh!” Seulgi groaned and threw her hands up in the air. “Forget that. It would have been better if you did it just once, but I guess we really can’t have nice things.” Baekhyun felt his cheeks warm up at the subtle nod Seulgi made towards his à la friends with benefits relationship with Jieun. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t be afraid to talk about his life—especially with a close friend—but the way Seulgi looked at him made it feel like he was talking about a person he murdered. “Baekhyun,” Seulgi continued in disgust, “I really don’t want to care about who you’re ing, but you hooked with Jieun. Jieun! Of all people!”

 

“Seul, I don’t see how your yelling is helping.” Baekhyun walked past Seulgi to get a much-needed drink of cold water. “I know I already messed up too.”

 

Seulgi was right behind him. “Oh, really? I don’t think you do.”

 

“Yeah, no, I do,” Baekhyun insisted. He grabbed a glass bottle of water from his fridge, uncapped it, and took a long swig before facing Seulgi. “She ghosted me out of nowhere months ago, then a few a days ago, she came here and tried to start something again.” He shuddered, thinking about how strange it was. “Any idea why she’d do that?”

 

“Yeah, she’s a shallow .”

 

Baekhyun frowned. Even for Seulgi, that was a little rough. “Seul, don’t you think that’s a bit rude?”

 

“No, I mean it.” Seulgi was laughing now. “She dates guys just to make herself look good since she was from a poor neighborhood and was too dumb to get accepted into anywhere decent. She’s basically a gold digger.” Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest or at least tell Seulgi to use kinder words, but he was intrigued. He had come across women like this before, and he hated it each time it happened. “She probably ghosted you because she found some doctor to . Now she’s probably trying to get use a lawyer as a rebound.” Seulgi scoffed. “I’ve known for her too long.”

 

“Then why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you work with her before?” Baekhyun took a step back and set his bottle of water down on the counter where it made a THUD.

 

“How could I have known to tell you?” Seulgi took a step back herself. “I didn’t know you’d hook up with her yet alone keep her around! That’s on you!”

 

Baekhyun had already had enough. He simply shook his head in defeat. “You know what? I don’t even want to talk about this anymore. I’m stressed as it is with,” he paused, and Miyoung ran into his thoughts almost instantly, “other stuff,” he said in the place of Miyoung’s name. “I don’t have time to think about Jieun.”

 

“Hm.” Seulgi narrowed her eyes. “You know, she mentioned that you had a girlfriend. That true?”

 

“Well, if you’ve heard it from a reputable person like Jieun, then it must be true.”

 

“Baek, I’m serious.”

 

He looked at Seulgi for a moment. She was one of his closest friends. They had grown up together and were witnesses to each other’s monumental achievements: she drove him to the airport when he decided to go to the United States, he consoled her when she broke down crying about her uality, she flew 3,000 miles to celebrate him passing the bar exam, he held her hand as she trembled before her first job interview. The point was, Seulgi, as prickly and impatient she could be, was someone he’d take a bullet for—no questions asked. There were also no questions asked that she’d do the same. After all, more than two decades of friendship spanned between them.

 

But did he want to tell her about Miyoung—the student she purposely told him not to pursue? In the words of Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street—absolutely ing not.

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun finally said, “I have a girlfriend.”

 

Seulgi’s eyes bulged. “You’re serious? Really? Why didn’t you tell me or Joohyun?”

 

“Oh, you know.” Baekhyun waved off Seulgi as he made his way to his living room. He plopped onto the couch and pretended to read a book he had been reading before she arrived. “We’re just keeping things quiet.”

 

“Hm, that sounds like you.” Seulgi sat adjacent from him and leaned forward. “So, you’re dealing with Jieun.”

 

“Why do you say that so ominously?”

 

“Because the girl is a , and she doesn’t know what boundaries are.” At those words, Baekhyun directed his attention back to Seulgi, causing her to scoff. “Yeah, exactly. Better pay attention now. Just because you have a girlfriend, doesn’t mean she’s going to stop. She’s a like that.” Baekhyun frowned at Seulgi’s harsh choice of words but continued to listen instead of reprimanding her. “Whoever your girlfriend is, she better not be scared easily because that’s just what Jieun does—scare people off.”

 

“Uh-huh.” Baekhyun looked at the book he had on his lap. Once again, he was thinking of Miyoung. The poor girl was only 18, and her relationship with him was her very first; she deserved a good experience. Now that this new information regarding Jieun had come to light, he wasn’t so sure that he could insure Miyoung the enjoyability that she deserved.

 

“You’re worried,” Seulgi guessed correctly. She arched her brows and tilted her head for a better look at his pensive expression. “What’s the matter?”

 

“I just—” Baekhyun cut himself off there. He couldn’t tell Seulgi about Miyoung. He couldn’t, he shouldn’t, so he wouldn’t. “It’s nothing,” he finally decided on saying. “I’m fine.”

 

“Really?”

 

Absolutely not, but Baekhyun was not about to admit to that. “Yes,” he said as he stared into Seulgi’s eyes. “It’s going to be fine. Jieun’s not going to find out about M—my girlfriend, and she’s not going to do anything that’ll faze me.”

 

“I don’t doubt that. You’re a good person, Baek, but Jieun isn’t.” Seulgi stood up, so Baekhyun followed suit. “Just be careful for me, okay?”

 

“Yeah, I will. Thanks for telling me.”

 

When Seulgi left Baekhyun alone to the stillness of his apartment, he fell back into his couch’s cushions and wished to melt within the polyester and wool.

 

 

[ 3 ]

 

 

“Why are you calling me,” Baekhyun glanced at his wristwatch, “at 11 in the evening. Shouldn’t you be resting?”

 

“Tomorrow is Christmas, Baekhyun!” Miyoung beamed over the phone. Even through a phone call marred by small bursts of static, her voice was still audibly young and excited; she sounded eerily similar to a child, and it took Baekhyun aback. He was still getting used to the feel of dating someone over a decade younger than he was, and it was moments like this where he would realize it yet again. “Do you know what that means?” Miyoung continued to babble. “Tomorrow is the day of presents, thanks, and joyful celebration! How could I not be excited? I have a gift for you too!”

 

Baekhyun let out a breathy laugh. Her father told him that he had holidays free of tutoring, so he wasn’t expecting to see Miyoung anytime soon—thus, he planned on giving her a gift after the break. “Miyoung,” he said, “you’ll have to wait a while since we don’t have any tutoring sessions planned for the next two weeks.”

 

“We don’t need to! I asked my mom if we could invite you for our dinner!”

 

Although Miyoung’s voice was bright and cheerful, Baekhyun swore he could feel his heart drop to his knees. He didn’t want to say it aloud, so he said it in his head: was she delusional? It was a harsh thing to even think about, but it was as if she wanted them to get caught. Perhaps he was simply being a pessimist since after all, Miyoung wasn’t downright stupid; she was intelligent and perfectly capable of controlling herself. Wouldn’t she know better than to give them away so quickly? Surely, she could behave around her parents.

 

“That’s great,” Baekhyun said in the place of a shocked response. “But don’t you think that’s a little much? I don’t want to get in between you and your family’s private time together.”

 

“It’s not ‘much’ at all,” Miyoung whined. “Didn’t you hear me? My mom said it was okay, and we throw big parties every year anyways.” At the sound of that, Baekhyun relaxed his stiff position on his bed. “Some of her friends are coming, my dad’s employees, my brother’s friends, some of my friends—there’s going to be at least 30 people coming.”

 

Miyoung continued to talk about the extensive guest list, but Baekhyun couldn’t keep himself from computing the risks of attending a party with more than a few people. Not only would he have to be extra careful, he would have a lot more to lose. Mr. Kim Chulsoo, after all, was a well-connected man in the world of corporations and companies—and he was Miyoung’s father. His friends and employees were most likely high-level people with enough influence to shatter Baekhyun’s career in a breath. Besides that, Miyoung’s friends were coming, and Baekhyun had enough experience to know that girls (and guys too) of their age had a knack for gossiping as a way to pass time.

 

“So, yeah,” Miyoung buzzed, “my dad said the mayor might come even if it’s for a few minutes—”

 

“Mayor?” Baekhyun stammered. “What?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Miyoung replied casually. “My dad is involved with some of his foundations and institutions. They’re not friends, though—more like acquaintances.”

 

“The mayor,” Baekhyun repeated in a whisper. “The mayor?” He shook his head in disbelief. “This may be a simple holiday party to you, Miyoung, but if important people are coming…”

 

“What? You don’t think I can control myself?”

 

Baekhyun frowned. “I don’t think that at all, Miyoung. I know you can, but you can’t control the amount of risk there is in doing something like this.”

 

“So are you coming or not?”

 

Without hesitation, Baekhyun replied with a “No, I can’t take the risk.” Miyoung took a deep breath—presumably to whine, but before she could say anything, Baekhyun was already quickly explaining himself. “Besides, you can’t call me a day before something happens and expect me to suddenly accommodate—even if it’s for you. What makes you think I haven’t already made plans for tomorrow?”

 

“Oh,” Miyoung breathed, taking a pause. “Well, do you?”

 

In truth, Baekhyun had no formal plans. He did plan to stay at home, cook a nice meal, stream a few movies, and just decompress, but he had no intention of putting on a suit and going to a party. However, now he had to make something up.

 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Baekhyun said as he walked over to his desk. Joohyun had sent out fancy invitations for her holiday party, and while he didn’t want to attend a few weeks ago, he wanted to attend now. He found the invitation sitting atop a pile of documents and quickly opened it. “It’s a formal party,” Baekhyun said as he eyed its details, “from 5 until sometime after midnight, and it’s over at Incheon—so you can imagine that I’m quite busy for tomorrow.”

 

“Hm,” Miyoung hummed, audibly displeased. “That’s too bad, I guess. Maybe we can do something after Christmas instead?”

 

“It can’t be on New Year’s Eve or Day, and it can’t be anywhere public.”

 

“Baekhyun,” Miyoung said his name with a sigh. “Don’t you think that’s a little too harsh? You’re ruling out all of the fun stuff that we can do. By those standards, we won’t be able to even to do the stuff we used to do when you were just my tutor.”

 

“Well, it’s the holidays—you can’t just be seen out and about with your teacher.”

 

“That’s fair, but…” Miyoung sighed again, and Baekhyun imagined her to be shaking her head in frustration. “Whatever. I’ll think of something soon.” She paused, her breath like static through the phone. “Are you in bed right now?”

 

Baekhyun, who had received her phone call while he was in the midst of grading midterms, shook his head. “No, I was trying to finish up some work. Are you?”

 

“Yeah. I’m pretending my sheets are you.”

 

“That’s sweet,” Baekhyun said with a small smile. It was flattering to hear, but all the flattering in the world could not reassure him. Miyoung just wanted too much, and her desires stressed him because he didn’t know how far they would go. “But you shouldn’t. Tomorrow’s Christmas like you said, and you should get rest before your party.”

 

“Parties energize me, so I’m not worried.” Miyoung sighed over the phone. “I guess I’ll call you when you have time?”

 

“That’s a plan. Talk soon.”

 

With that, the two of them hung up on each other. Baekhyun had to pause and take a deep breath when he put his phone down. He had no intentions of going out to a party for Christmas, and Miyoung would easily take his word if he told her he had gone to one, but perhaps a party was the best way to unwind. After all, Joohyun was a famous Korean actress. She had plenty of engaging, interesting friends—and that was exactly what he needed: people of his own age that wouldn’t bother him so ceaselessly.

 

He truly liked Miyoung, he really did, but it had been a while since his last real relationship, and he had forgotten how much he treasured his solo space.

 

 

[ 4 ]

 

 

Bae Joohyun, one of the most famous actresses in Korea, was a rather elegant and soft-spoken woman. She was also known to be modest and conservative when it came to speaking at press junkets, award ceremonies, and pretty much anywhere speaking was involved. Baekhyun had never