Warning(s): cursing
Length: 9.3k words

  06: inhibition  

[ 1 ]

 

 

Baekhyun felt his blood pressure plummet. He wasn’t even kidding when he swore his heart fell to his knees. His worst nightmare—being caught—seemed so unlikely because he thought that he could keep himself safe enough from the possibility of it ever happening, but it was happening now.

 

“What the hell?”

 

Miyoung, thankfully, had the initiative to scramble off Baekhyun, but it was too late. Jieun had unfortunately seen Miyoung on top of him, and her eyes were wide and b with shock. “Oh my, god. Are you two…?” Jieun’s gaze darted back and forth Miyoung and Baekhyun as the two of them sat dumbly on the couch. “Holy ,” Jieun muttered. She gawked at Baekhyun and scoffed. “She’s the girl you were talking about? Isn’t she like 12?”

 

“It’s none of your business,” Baekhyun quickly shot back. As a lawyer, thinking on his feet came naturally to him—even if he was dumbfounded beyond belief, even if he felt so bad that he could throw up. “Get out, Jieun.”

 

“I’m not leaving,” Jieun infuriatingly replied. Her good-for-nothing, pretty, worthless smile was back on her face, and though Baekhyun never wished anyone physical bodily harm, he wanted to slap that -eating grin off Jieun’s face. “You passed up on me so you could be with her? Why?” Jieun scoffed. “Do you have some schoolgirl fantasy? Because if you do—”

 

“Jieun, shut up.” Baekhyun strode to her and looked directly into her eyes. “I need you to leave. We’re having a private discussion here.”

 

“What kind of discussion involves her lying on top of you?” Jieun retorted. She glanced back at the suddenly shy Miyoung and squinted. “That’s Chulsoo’s daughter, Baekhyun, and don’t say she’s not because I’m not stupid.”

 

Baekhyun resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Just get out, will you?”

 

“I’m not leaving!” Jieun gasped like Baekhyun had told her to do something scandalous, but with the circumstances the way they were, it probably looked all sorts of wrong. “What the hell are you doing with a girl who’s still in high school? Are you mental? Do you want to die?” Jieun glanced at Miyoung again and visibly shuddered. “You’re sick. Actually sick,” Jieun spat. “You’re manipulating a young girl into doing something she’s probably uncomfortable with—”

 

What? Now Baekhyun couldn’t help himself. What kind of ist was Jieun spewing? Did she really have a brain made of bull? Miyoung was the one who crawled on top of him after he told her to stop. Miyoung was the one who tried to kiss him; in fact, Miyoung was the one who kissed him unwarrantedly in the first place. Sure, Jieun didn’t know that, but she was so quick to try and paint him as the bad guy even after she had seen Miyoung on top of him—not the other way around. Worse of all, Jieun had assumed that he had “manipulated” Miyoung into trying this relationship. Did she really think of him as a degenerate who would do something like that?

 

“You know what?” Baekhyun raised his hands and forced himself to laugh. “I’ll leave.”

 

“What? Baek—Mr. Byun,” Miyoung whined from behind him. She had walked closer to where he and Jieun stood and was now pulling at his sleeve like a child. It would have been a harmless gesture in any other situation, but for some reason, it infuriated Baekhyun. “You can’t leave yet,” Miyoung said as she tugged for him to stay. “We have to talk.”

 

“Miyoung, be quiet.”

 

As expected, Miyoung fell silent. When Baekhyun turned around, he saw that was agape. Her eyes were wide and unblinking. She definitely didn’t expect for him to say that, and it thrilled him that he had caught her by surprise like that; he was finished with acting polite for the sake of keeping her as happy as possible.

 

“I’m leaving,” Baekhyun reiterated, making sure to stress every ing syllable. He was angry, but when he was angry, he got quiet because he simply had no desire to invest his precious energy into . “If you’re as smart as you think you are, you will keep your mouth quiet until I call you.” He glared at Jieun who had the brains to close the door shut to prevent anyone from hearing their commotion. “As for you, you’re going to keep quiet about this or I will personally sue you for defamation and libel.”

 

Baekhyun wasn’t even done with his reprimanding, but Miyoung went off with her whining again.

 

“Baekhyun,” she whined his name like the child she still could be, “I thought you wanted to talk. And besides,” Miyoung’s lips took the form of a pout, “I thought we were equals in this relationship. I thought both of us had to compromise.”

 

Something flared up in Baekhyun. He now had a headache that mimicked one he used to get when he was still withdrawing from alcohol, and it brought up bitter memories that insisted he shed his composure in favor of lashing out recklessly. Would he do it?

 

Yes.

 

“Let me make it clear to you,” Baekhyun said lowly, making sure to stare into Miyoung’s eyes. He would most likely apologize for this later, but all he wanted to do was rant about how he felt. “We are not equals. Just in case you didn’t notice, I have to sacrifice a lot more for you, and all you want to do is take. Take, take, take, take, take—that’s all you want to do.” Baekhyun, in a drunken life, would have yelled all of this, but he kept his voice cool. “I’m sick of it,” he said with an exasperated, frustrated sigh. “You need to learn that you can’t have everything, and just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

 

Miyoung’s bottom lip trembled like she was about to cry. Baekhyun hadn’t intended for that to happen, but he wasn’t intending on comforting her either. “Fine,” she mumbled with a voice that broke, “leave. I don’t care.”

 

“Yes, you do.” Baekhyun wanted to scoff after he had said this, but he felt like his next words would leave enough sting. “You can’t even focus in class because of me. You can’t even keep your hands to yourself when you’re around me. You can’t even go about your day without thinking of me.” Baekhyun was purely making conjectures when he said that last statement, but he had the feeling that Miyoung thought of him frequently enough. Something about the hurtful way her face twisted suggested that he was right. “What makes you think you won’t care if I walk out right now?”

 

Baekhyun felt ruthless right now, like he was brutally cross-examining a fragile witness on the stand, and truth be told, he didn’t want to act like this, but he had to say something about the way Miyoung had been acting—even if her eyes were now b with tears that hadn’t fallen yet. He had never acted like this to her nor had he ever said anything so painful, but he had to do it. If he didn’t, she would continue with behavior that was toxic for the both of them.

 

“I’m leaving,” Baekhyun broke the silence with a soft voice. “I’ll call you, don’t worry. Just give me space.”

 

At least Miyoung was an adult enough to nod and mumble a quiet, “Okay.”

 

Baekhyun pushed past a stunned Jieun and left them both in that parlor room. As he was rushing out of the front door, someone grabbed him by the shoulder.

 

“That was mean.” Jieun.

 

“That was the point,” Baekhyun said as he shrugged her hand off his shoulder. He took out his phone and opened the Kakao Taxi app. “Just go, Jieun. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. My headache is as bad as it is.”

 

“You’re an .”

 

Baekhyun finished connecting with a taxi driver before he shoved his phone in his pocket and glared at Jieun. “I don’t want to hear it.”

 

“And you’re also a e.”

 

As untrue yet hurtful those words were, Baekhyun kept himself quiet. He couldn’t be angry anymore; he wasn’t the type of person to be bitter either since it left, well, a bitter taste in his mouth. So he sighed instead of retaliating. “I told you that I didn’t want to hear it, Jieun. Just go.”

 

“You’re not defending yourself,” the ever so intelligent Jieun noted. “So, it’s true? You really are a pedo, aren’t you? You manipulated—”

 

“I didn’t manipulate anyone,” Baekhyun interrupted before Jieun could attack him with false assumptions. He stared down at her and shook his head. “You don’t even know half of the story, so keep yourself quiet before you try talking like your IQ is higher than 50.”

 

His insult left Jieun speechless, and she scoffed at him before striding back inside Miyoung’s house. It was then Baekhyun could stand on the sidewalk by himself and sigh out everything that made him want to pull at his hair. He would have never imagined himself to be in this situation. Never in a million years. Did he deserve this as some sort of punishment? Possibly. Did he think he could get through this? Of course. If he could over an alcohol addiction, he reasoned, then he could get through another headache. Of course, he could. He needed to.

 

 

[ 2 ]

 

 

Doyoung had left Baekhyun a text message around 7:30AM that demanded they meet at a restaurant in the Hannamdong neighborhood. There was no request for this meeting—only a period after a “let’s meet here.” Baekhyun didn’t have to be a detective to know the reason for the forcefulness of Doyoung’s request; obviously, Miyoung had said something to her brother, and now her brother was trying to act like a mediator. There was no way that Baekhyun wouldn’t meet with Doyoung, but he thought it was another naïve, childish act for Miyoung to do—calling a middleman. If she really wanted to mend things with him, she would have to do it herself. Still, he was already here, so he might as well hear what Doyoung had to say.

 

As Baekhyun sat at the table Doyoung reserved for the meeting, he looked around at the opulence of the chosen restaurant. There were skylights that insured that every square meter of the placed was bathed in light, and the windows were so tall that they reached from the floor to the ceiling. It was black and white for as far as Baekhyun could see. The only colors that disrupted the modern palette of the restaurant were the ties and blouses that people wore and the flowers that a few plants bloomed. Almost every person—with servers being the exclusion—wore a suit or formal dress, so Baekhyun was glad that he chose to research the venue before arriving.

 

Sitting in that modern restaurant brought Baekhyun back to his job as a lawyer in the United States—but more specifically his visits to New York City.

 

As a corporate litigator of a nationwide firm, he often had to talk to wealthy clients in settings like these: swanky restaurants, expensive country clubs, golf courses, and more. At first, Baekhyun was baffled by those shows of wealth, but as he attended more and more meetings, he realized that those shows of wealth were a way for clients to exert their power. It worked frequently until it only worked rarely. This was one of those rare times.

 

Baekhyun had to wonder what sorts of consequences could await him because he was in a dangerous relationship with the daughter of a powerful businessman. All the wealth of Miyoung’s family and familial connections would surely crush him.

 

“Hey.”

 

At the sound of the word in English, Baekhyun looked away from the window and turned to see that Doyoung had arrived and taken a seat with him. Like Baekhyun, he was dressed in a suit. “Hey,” Baekhyun replied almost intimidated. If Doyoung wanted to ruin his life, he very well could; the only thing stopping him was that Baekhyun also had dirt on him. “So,” Baekhyun continued, “how are you?”

 

“I’m great,” Doyoung continued to speak in English, “but let’s cut to the order of business. Number one,” he held up a finger, “my sister. You already know what happened, don’t you?” Baekhyun nodded to confirm. “I know everything,” Doyoung said, “and,” he lowered his voice, “she didn’t want me to see you, but I have to because I don’t believe everything she said.”

 

Baekhyun swallowed. “What did she say?”

 

“No offense to her, but she can be so dramatic.” Doyoung rolled his eyes only to quickly compose himself when he ordered water for the both of them. “She told me that you said something ‘really mean’—whatever that means.” Doyoung scoffed and shook his head. “She was crying, but I don’t think anything you could have said would have made her cry.”

 

“Well, I did tell her that she,” Baekhyun paused to cough, “has an, at times, unhealthy liking to me.”

 

“I know you’re a lawyer, but what’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Baekhyun hesitated, but withholding information seldom ever helped people—only hurt them and their surrounding parties. “Her grades, Doyoung. They’re dropping.” At the sound of grades, Doyoung raised his brows. “Yeah, I told her that, and aside from her grades, she’s been getting,” Baekhyun coughed, “you know, really touchy.”

 

“What, really?” Doyoung visibly shuddered. “Okay, that paints a good enough picture to me. You told her about the dumb stuff that she’s been doing, and she cried because of that?” Doyoung pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed out a forced laugh. “My sister can really be a pain in the , can’t she?” Baekhyun kept himself silent. “So,” Doyoung continued, “why’d you say all that you did?”

 

Again, Baekhyun hesitated. “Did she tell you about the woman that found us?” Doyoung nodded but remained wordless to allow him to explain. “Well, she accused me of manipulating Miyoung. Later, she called me a pedo.”

 

“Oh, .” Doyoung grimaced at the word. “None of that is true though, you know?”

 

“I know, but it still rubbed me wrong.” Baekhyun felt bubbles of anger start swirling in his chest again. “It just bothers me that even if I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I’m still in the wrong because I’m the older one—and I’m a guy.” Baekhyun scoffed when he recalled having a client who was falsely accused of ual assault and harassment in the workplace. Everyone immediately turned against his client because said client was a older man in his 50s while the supposed victim was a young woman in her 20s. “No one really believes a man when he says that he’s at the receiving end of harassment from a woman. It didn’t matter that Miyoung was on top of me. It was still my fault.”

 

“Don’t think about that too much. You’ll go crazy. Besides,” Doyoung looked around as if someone might hear, “you’ve got bigger problems now that Jieun girl knows.”

 

“Right.” Baekhyun forced himself to laugh at the unfortunateness of the situation. “As if she hasn’t done enough.”

 

“You know, she told Miyoung all sorts of .”

 

Baekhyun froze in his seat while Doyoung merely nodded. “What’d she say?” Baekhyun asked though he really didn’t want to know. Jieun had proven herself to be a grade-A even when they were on more amicable terms, so Baekhyun couldn’t imagine what poison she could spew.

 

“She told Miyoung that she should break it off with you.”

 

“Oh. Well, that’s not that bad.”

 

“But I’m not done,” Doyoung said. He took a large gulp of his water and averted his gaze from Baekhyun’s for a second. It was then that Baekhyun realized Doyoung had just barely scratched the surface. After all, it was Jieun. “She told Miyoung that she’d never be enough for you—that she could never, uh,” Doyoung wrinkled his nose in distaste, “satisfy you in a way that a real woman could.”

 

Baekhyun’s eyes widened, and he literally felt his cheeks warm up with fresh anger. It was one thing to tell someone to do something that they didn’t want to do, but it was another to prey on one’s insecurities for the sole, malicious purpose of making them feel like . And of course, it had to be Jieun. Jieun. Before Baekhyun knew it, he was gritting his teeth and clenching his fists. He wanted to do something violent like shove Jieun to the wall and tell her that she wasn’t even as good as the cats threw up, that she deserved to go to hell, that she should honestly consider walking into incoming traffic. Rage, rage, rage—Baekhyun felt so defensive that despite his frustrations with Miyoung, he wanted to see her and comfort her and tell her that she was worth more than anything she could physically give. As he imagined how she must have felt hearing Jieun’s words, he grew restlessly angry. Miyoung wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t like she had never hurt others, but she didn’t deserve this.

 

“I need to see Miyoung right away,” Baekhyun said as he stretched his fingers. He was still angry and riled up, but he had to keep a calm face in the restaurant. “And,” he added with a scowl, “I need to kill Jieun.”

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Doyoung shook his head. “Sit down. We’re not done talking. I didn’t even finish.” He took a deep breath as if he couldn’t say what he wanted to say, and for that, Baekhyun felt his chest tighten with fear. What other poison could Jieun possibly spew? “I feel like I have to explain Miyoung,” Doyoung said, taking Baekhyun aback. “She doesn’t act like this for no reason, okay?”

 

Baekhyun tilted his head in question. “Well, I assumed so. I’m the first person she’s ever been in a relationship with. I can see why she’d act the way she does.”

 

“Yes, but,” Doyoung raised a finger, “if you haven’t noticed, our parents are hardly ever around.” Baekhyun raised a brow, still not understanding, but then the realization hit him, and he opened his mouth only to quickly close it back again. “Yeah,” Doyoung said, dragging the syllable out. “We both grew up without a lot of parental supervision. My dad was always working, and my mom…” Doyoung sighed. “She always had a wine problem.”

 

Baekhyun’s stomach churned. “Really?”

 

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Doyoung backtracked. “We’re not messed in the head nor do we have any weird defects. But,” he continued, “after Miyoung was born, my mom didn’t really have to hold back any longer, so she was always on some wine-fueled high since my dad didn’t let her drink whiskey or vodka.” Doyoung’s eyes were fixated on some faraway point, like talking about his mother gave him flashbacks or other trauma. “It was so weird growing up. She was only home a few times a week, and when she was, she was always on the phone or drinking wine.” He quickly shook his head and looked back into Baekhyun’s eyes. “But that’s not the point. The point is, Miyoung’s always looked for someone older to admire and, let’s face it, take care of her.”

 

“I understand,” Baekhyun murmured. It did make sense to him now. In the span of nearly five months, he hadn’t even seen Miyoung’s parents that much. Not to mention, it explained why Miyoung was so unafraid of going out to see him all the time. Her parents wouldn’t care enough (or were even present enough) to stop her or ask her where she was going or what her intentions were. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out.

 

“Don’t be,” Doyoung replied almost immediately. “I don’t like being pitied for having ty parents.” His gaze was rough, but it was quickly softening. “I didn’t tell you that so you pity me or my sister. I told you that because you need to go easy on her.” Baekhyun opened his mouth, but Doyoung cut him off. “I’m not saying that what she did was permissible or justified. I’m saying that you need to at least take it easy on her, okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Baekhyun placed his now-unclenched hands on the table and tapped his fingers against the condensation of his glass of water. “I get it. I’ll talk to her soon. Is that all you wanted to say?”

 

“No,” Doyoung said, and Baekhyun frowned. What else could Doyoung have to tell him? “I have one more thing—you’re a lawyer, right?”

 

“Doyoung, I don’t like where this is going.”

 

“Just hear me out, okay?” Doyoung looked around him as if he was fearful of anyone overhearing. “What do you know about international laws?”

 

Baekhyun’s frown grew deeper with the strangeness of Doyoung’s question. “Listen, Doyoung. I don’t know what sort of trouble you’re in, but I’m the last person you want to be talking to even if this is related to my profession.” Baekhyun shook his head. “If you need a lawyer, you can find someone else—which you probably won’t have trouble with considering your father’s connections.”

 

“Baekhyun, I can’t just do that,” Doyoung said in a fierce whisper. His eyes were wide and desperate, very much like the paranoid whistleblowers Baekhyun had represented. “I have a serious problem, okay? I can’t involve people I don’t trust.”

 

That wasn’t the first time Baekhyun had heard something along those lines. In his experience, people who said that were usually in dire need of help. He also considered Doyoung smart enough to know when to approach people at the right time. After all, he didn’t come here to waste his time. So, Baekhyun sighed. “Okay, I’ll listen, but you have to be honest.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Doyoung shrugged. “I need to leave the country,” he said casually, “and I need your help.”

 

“Wait, what the hell are you talking about?” Baekhyun looked around to make sure there was no one in their vicinity. “Doyoung,” he whispered, “what? Why do you need to leave the country? Better yet, why do you need my help doing that? Can’t you just buy a plane ticket?”

 

“Yeah, but it’s not that simple. It’s complicated. I need a fake ID—”

 

“Why—”

 

“—and I need to know the best places where I can—”

 

“Hey, be quiet for a—”

 

“—live without anyone finding—”

 

“Doyoung,” Baekhyun finally stated with a firm tone. Though the two of them conversed freely without honorifics in English, Baekhyun was still older than Doyoung, and the latter immediately quieted himself. “What’s going on?” Baekhyun pronounced each word slowly. “If you really want my professional help, you need to tell me everything.”

 

Doyoung’s stare was blank, and his voice tremored. “It’s ed.”

 

“I didn’t become a good a lawyer by mixing work and life together.” Baekhyun raised a brow to urge the wide-eyed boy in