Lights at every corner of the room, wild around. Moving to one place and another, to make the room alive. Loud music blasted the room, that people there had to shout. But, there a din of quieter hum of conversations at every table. I sat silently at the bar stool, staring at the bartender wiping the table while talking with the customers.

 

“I didn’t know you would call”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t even expect that I would do that after the last meeting” I answered with no interest.

 

The story is I called Eric to meet, because I didn’t know who can help me. My friends didn’t even know Mrs Kim. I just need to get it out from my head, and I needed someone to hear me out.

 

Mrs Kim had suffocated me, not physically but mentally. Why I need to fall for someone like her? Someone that didn’t even love me.

 

“So, what’s it you want to talk about?” Eric sat on a chair beside me. He sounded different, he’s not throwing any flirty remark, or call me babe anymore. Maybe I had put the picture that we wouldn’t be together.

 

“What kind of person Mrs Kim is?”

 

Eric looked at me with his small eyes, but still I can see his dark brown iris. A scar at his thick eyebrows left a gape on it. I used to love touching his eyebrows before. Now, I didn’t have any urge anymore.

 

“It seemed that you like Mrs Kim” He simply stated. Without any lack of hesitation, and without any questionable expression.

 

“How—”

 

“I know you Rosie, you’re not the person who take interest with other’s life. But, it’s amazing though, Jennie also asked me that question. About you”

 

I gaped at what he said. Mrs Kim asked about me? What did it mean?

 

“You both oddly kind of similar, you know. I never witnessed Jennie being that panicky and intrigued with someone’s life. She must really like you”

 

“W-Wait Mrs Kim like me?! Is that what you’re saying?”

 

Now, I wanted the floor swallowed me before I live with false hope. There was no way that Mrs Kim would like me.

 

“Yes Rosie, I know what I say.”

 

Eric searched for my eyes, before he continued, “Watching you right now, maybe I would tell you the truth. Jennie and I actually not like ordinary married couple. We had a contract marriage. We were never in love, although it only for her. I was in love with her, but it was before I met you. After I met you, I thought I would have a little faith in my life, how it feels to be loved. But, I didn’t know that it would made this happen. Maybe she really mad at me, and I’d broke our contract.”

 

I was speechless, the new information might blow me up. If they’re not in love, why Jennie said she loves Eric. Why she had to lie? But again, why she need to tell the truth?

 

I took a glass of hard drink with one shot, feeling that I needed one. I grimaced after the taste, Gosh, I really don’t like alcohol.

 

“That didn’t mean that she like me, Eric”

 

“I didn’t say it was the reason. I can’t prove it to you Rosie, you need to find it yourself.”

 

“But, she had made clearly to me, that she didn’t like me when I confessed to her last day”

 

Eric shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe, she just didn’t realise it yet. We can’t out of sudden know our feeling Rosie, moreover, both of you were straight”

 

I laughed when I think about it again, “Yeah, now, it feels weird talking to my ex boyfriend about his ex wife”

 

Eric laughed out too, he glanced at the left side, the thing he always do when he was laughing. “But still, I know she likes you, even though she didn’t say it I know it. She was a person that not giving a shoot about other people, not even me. One more thing, she asked me about what you like, I don’t know why she asked me that”

 

“Then, what your answer?”

 

It kind of exciting thinking that Mrs Kim would actually like me. But, I shouldn’t have a high hope about it, afraid that it all just a fake. And Eric might misread it.

 

“Avocado” Eric wiggled his eyebrows, knowing well that he had got Jennie fooled for it.

 

“That’s the thing I hate Eric” I deadpanned. I knew that the guy got something under his sleeves.

 

“Yeah, obviously. I wanted to know where it’s that going, is she going to buy avocado and giving to you or what. I wanted to know. If she bought it, surely she wanted to charm you”

 

I facepalmed at the idea. “You would make it worse Eric, if she buys it, who wants to eat it?”

 

“Just give that to someone else. You can presume that as a charity”

 

“Charity, whatever float your boat Eric. I just hope for nothing worse happen. And why would you lie to her at the first place?”

 

Eric stubbled with my question. Hah, he really was up to something.

 

“Um, actually Rosie, I was upset at her that’s why I lied to her. But, after a while I was talking with her, I knew that she was serious about you. So, I felt kind of bad, that’s why I tell you now”

 

Eric explained which is nothing to argue anymore. I knew that he didn’t mean any harm.

 

“Eric, I’m sorry for everything. I come to realise that loving Mrs Kim was hard than it was used to be. I’m afraid that I would end-up like you, unrequited love”

 

I faced down. Feeling hopeless again. I just hope for a better life for me to cherish with.

 

“I know it’s going to get better Rosie. Believe me”

 

“I hope so”

 

Eric patted my shoulder, in a way he could soothe me. I didn’t want any simplicity I just want… wait, what actually I want? Did I want Jennie to love me back?

Well, it was natural thing right, when we loved somebody, we hoped for the person too. But, in my case I didn’t want to force her, I just want for Jennie accepting my love. Let me in her life. Let me to show my love, not shut me out like this. Ever since, I was married to her, she didn’t even say anything about her to me. Or it was me that wasn’t ask her anything.

 

 

 

 

 

I finished serving our dinner, and was waiting for Jennie to back home. I decided to change my clothes, brushed my teeth, and wore a soft pink pyjama.

 

The screeching wheel, and died engine heard downstairs. Jennie had back from her work. I went down, seeing Jennie walking through the twin main doors. Jennie left her high heels at a shoes rack.

 

“Hey”

 

“Oh, didn’t see you there.” Jennie walked closer toward me, and I swallowed my saliva. This is what I said as suffocating. Jennie had been weird lately, she always came closer than usual. Staring at me with those compassionate eyes, and the worst is she always had that joyous smile on her face.

 

It suffocated me, because it always success to make my heart beating fasten and I was scared it would burst someday.

 

I stood frozen when she put that smile. She was smiling lovingly at me, and as hopeless as I was, I replied the smile. She stood a foot away from, so close.

 

“Hey” She looked at through her eyelashes, with those cat-eyes of hers. I gulped away my desire to kiss her right then.

 

“What did you prepare for me today?”

 

I averted my eyes shakenly from those eyes that gazing intensely at mine. “Um, just some Poached Eggs in Salsa and Sweet Turkey Chili. And I made your favourite drink, pineapple-mint.”

 

I saw Jennie’s smile turned to a smirk. I knew it was not a good sign. She drew closer to me, until I felt her warm breath slapping my neck, “Why did you think I was talking about dinner?”

 

My heart beating fastened. “Aren’t you?” I controlled myself as much as I can, not to stutter.

 

“No… I was not” Jennie spoke softly, low and ier than ever she had let out before.

 

“Um – s-so, what did you refer to?” There went me being a stuttered mess.

 

“I was talking about…” Jennie flickered down her eyes from my face, roaming down my body. Then, an aha moment attacked my mind. A light bulb that I wished I wouldn’t thinking about. My face reddened, as I felt warm all over my face.

 

Then a squeaking voice break the intimacy. Jennie laughed while pointing at my face. “You should look at your face”

 

Jennie continued to laugh as I stepped back from our close proximity. I frowned at her, knowing that she played with me. “You’re worst Jennie. I think you should head upstairs to change your clothes and come back for dinner”

 

I practically ran away from her, from that moment.

 

What the hell?! It’s so embarrassing! She must think that I was a ert. But, she started it first!

 

“It’s okay Mrs Kim. Now is your day, next time is my day!” I smiled deviously at myself.

 

 

 

After dinner, I cleaned the dining table and the dishes. Throughout the dinner, I was literally ignoring Mrs Kim’s presence. She started it first, and I was so hurt by that.

 

I huffed out at her when we crossed path at the living room. I headed upstairs, took a bath and brushed my teeth. I laid down in the king-sized bed, while releasing a long relief breath.

 

I ignored the lady with those cat-eyes beside me. Just imagined that she was not here, beside me, in the same bed.

 

“Hey, are you still upset?”

 

“No, I’m not upset” I declined the obvious. I was back-faced her, and I didn’t know what she was doing beside me.

 

“Come on Rosie, you were ignoring me since we have dinner. I’m sorry if I did make you upset a while ago.” She apologised sincerely.

 

I didn’t reply. She continued, “Please, talk to me. I didn’t like you being like this toward me. Look at me”

 

I sighed but nonchalantly I turned around facing her. “I’m sorry, kay”

 

I stared at her dark coffee eyes, she still beautiful even without any make-up. I saw her calm face, and she was looking at me with those gazes. I can’t point my finger to which is the difference but Mrs Kim definitely changed her gazes toward me.

 

“Seeing you like this, I feel bad being upset toward you”

 

Mrs Kim smiled at me, “It’s right then, you were upset”

 

We stared at each other, fought for staring contest. It looked like we were fighting to whom will make a first move. I thought I was strong than her, it was a false perception because I was the first one reaching for her.

 

I lift my hand, reaching for her face. At first I touch her facial skin, at the cheek, I flinched. My hand retreated, I realised that this was the first time I was actually touching her face.

 

Mrs Kim understood my intention, she drew her face closer to me. The hanging hand of mine, I moved forward again. This time, I didn’t flinch. I touched her soft cheek, grazing it with my fingertips. Mrs Kim’s eyes followed my hand before focusing on my face again.

 

I took time to memorise her face under my fingertips. I looked at her lips, as my touch moved upwards, nose and I watched Mrs Kim’s eyes that were staring hole at me.

 

Her gazes were warm and intense, it almost made me lost my inner control. Under her intense gazes, I tried to make her stop looking at me like that. Right then, I pressed her nose.

 

It succeeded in ruining Mrs Kim’s gazes. She narrowed her eyes at me, silently asked me what I was doing.

 

I smiled sheepishly, didn’t have any answer to it. Mrs Kim let me to do it, and I pressed it good for two minutes. I burst into laugh when I released her nose. It was red, and she looked so funny with her confused face. She looked like a clown now. I should take my revenge for what she did before, but I didn’t.

 

Instead, I drew myself even closer toward her, I kissed softly on her reddened nose. I backed away again, I didn’t want to push any button so, I pulled away my hands from her face.

 

Jennie’s face changed with my action. “You can touch me you know”

 

I shook my head, “I think that was enough. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable”

 

Mrs Kim sighed. She reached for my hand and put it again on her cheek. My palm rested on her soft cheek.

 

“I like it. I like it when you were feeling me. It soothed me.”

 

I let it on her cheek, because I also liked to feel her soft cheek. I was hopeless. Hopelessly In love with Mrs Kim. I her cheek with my thumb, soothed her.

 

Mrs Kim eyes gotten droopy and I was close to fall asleep. Mrs Kim’s breath was getting slow and steady. She must be fall asleep.

 

I took this chance to stare at her. Her soft sound of breathing lullabied me. I came to realise that I was falling hard for her.

 

“Stop suffering me Jennie”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I watched the passed-by tress, that covered my eyes with greenish views. The wind blowing through the car opened window, swept my blond hair to the back. I sighed with bliss. My eyes glanced at Mrs Kim that was driving the car.

 

She tied her hair into bun today, exposing her beautiful white neck. Her eyes covered by sunglasses, and it shamed that I couldn’t see her like cat-eyes.

 

Actually, I still didn’t know where we were going to. Mrs Kim didn’t give any answer that I want to hear. She kept avoiding saying the place.

 

“It’s a surprise, and you gonna love it”

 

That’s what she said. Then, I let her brought me wherever the place is. Turn after turn, corner after corner, we had entered a road without tar. A countryside. I looked around the place, all of our surrounding was greens. Trees and plants.

 

I heard birds chimed at one of the trees, it was high and clear sounds. As if it was close. I gaped after we drove onto a bridge, that just fitted a car. The river beneath the bridge was what fascinated me. It was crystal clear, and I really wanted to dive into it.

 

“Now, we’ve arrived”

 

“An avocado farm?”

 

“Yes, it is”

 

I grimaced thinking that avocados circling me. Why would Mrs Kim bring me here? Didn’t she know that I hated avocados.

 

Then, a light bulb crossed my mind, ERIC. This is all because of him, if he didn’t tell to Mrs Kim I like avocados then this wouldn’t happen.

 

“Let’s get in”

 

“Um—okay”

 

I cursed in my mind, looking at our surrounding. Thousands of green leaves didn’t affect me, but the dark greens fruits were affecting me. Avocados.

 

An attendant guided us through the farm, and through all the way, I just nodding my head. I couldn’t bring myself to ask anything about dark green monsters even though I was an inquisitive woman.

 

Mrs Kim was the one who kept asking question and made conversation with the attendant. I just stood there, and looked around. After a moment, the attendant left us alone surrounding by monsters.

 

“You didn’t look happy”

 

“Nah, just tired.”

 

“Well, if that way”

 

I raised my eyebrow, when I saw Mrs Kim bent down to a long hose that watering plants there. I knew I should do something but I was too late, she pointed the hose onto me and I was soaking.

 

She’s evil!!!

 

“Jennie!”

 

She was laughing looking at me squirming for her to stop. My eyes blurry with the waters so I can’t do thing except for asking her to stop.

 

When Mrs Kim actually ran the hose away from pointing at my face, she was still laughing hysterically. I gritted my teeth, with my clothes all soaking.

 

“Jennie Kim, come here you!”

 

I ran after Mrs Kim who was running for her dear life. I didn’t forget to bring the hose with me though, I pointed the hose onto her. To dismay, she hardly touched by the water, fuming with anger I ran after her as speed as I can.

 

Thankfully for my long legs, I catch her eventually. I was practically jumped on her, causing for us to kiss the grasses. I groaned, feeling the impact at my blade.

 

“Now, I’m soaking too. This is all your fault, we got hurt too”

 

“Yeah, from my view you started it first. I just want to pay my revenge”

 

“Revenge,” Mrs Kim snorted, “What are you, five?”

 

I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm. I stood up, and helped her to stand up. Because of our soaking clothes and wet hair, we proceed to our stay. It was a village traditional house. It was warm and it kind of comforted me.

 

We took a shower and brushed our teeth. After changed our clothes, we chilled outside the house. Sitting side by side on the floor.

 

“Why did you bring me here though?”

 

We stared at the farm not far from here.

 

“I always wanted to come to a countryside, surrounding by natures and now I granted it. Why avocados? It’s because I heard from Eric that you like avocado. That’s why I bring you here”

 

After her explanation, I urged to ask, “Why you did this? I mean why did you care about what I like or not”

 

Mrs Kim sighed, she moved closer to me. Our hands in between, barely touching. But, I felt her pinky finger on top of mine.

 

“I did care about you Rosie. You’re my wife of course I care”

 

Mrs Kim turned to me, which I replied her stare. Her sunglasses were long gone from her eyes, and I can see her dark coffee eyes. It stared at me passionately and with intensity. Mrs Kim held my hand, from pinky now, our fingers intertwined.

 

“You don’t have to do this Jennie” I said in whisper, because we were so close.

 

“But I like to do this” Mrs Kim replied with the same tone as mine. Whispering.

 

“Stop suffering me Jennie”

 

Mrs Kim looked at me with those eyes again. I didn’t know why but it took my breath away. As if she marched into my heart and burned all of self-control.

 

“Is that what am I doing to you?” Her voice held some disappointment and hurting. It was soft and hesitated.

 

“Yes. That’s what clearly you’ve been doing” I answered. I felt her grip to my hand loosened, as in cue for me to pull away my hand. So, I did.

 

“I didn’t mean to do that Rosie. Why it suffering you?”

 

I sighed with her obliviousness, “Because I like you Jennie. It would be hard for me to control myself if you keep doing this. It would be worse if my feeling grew stronger”

 

Mrs Kim heard me and she actually smiled. “Then, I would do it often. I want it to happen.”

 

“You can’t do that Jennie”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because you don’t like me”

 

Silence engulfed both of us in the room. Mrs Kim flickered her eyes down, seemed to search for words. The thing is, I didn’t even know that she would has any answer to it. I tried to put myself under Mrs Kim’s shoes and I can’t bring myself to understand as why I need to flirt with someone I don’t like.

 

Mrs Kim looked at me again, and I was close to faint. I gasped for air because her eyes were the most beautiful ever I’d seen. Her eyes blurry with some tears and I want nothing but to wipe it away.

 

“What if I say that I like you”

 

I was shocked. I stared frozen at her. I didn’t feel my heart pumping blood, I didn’t feel my adrenalines containing blood, and I can’t feel my chest was needed to breath. “Don’t joke around about this Jennie”

 

“I’m not joking Rosie. I was serious. I like you” Mrs Kim held my hand again, bringing my palm to her chest. “Here. Do you feel it? You’re the only person that can make my heart beating this fast.”

 

I felt it beating against my palm. I held myself from breaking into tears. It was fluttering to know that I was the reason for her heart to beat this way. I hoped for Mrs Kim to accept my love and this was beyond my assumptions. However, I liked it a lot. I was happy.

 

“I feel it.”

 

“Rosie, I don’t know how to prove you but I know that I really like you. I like you a lot. I don’t care if you’re a woman or anything else, what I know that I want you. My heart earned for you”

 

I bit my bottom lip before bent down to slump my forehead on her shoulder. “Thank you”

 

“For what?”

 

“For loving me”

 

“Shouldn’t you kiss me at this time Rosie”

 

“I would always”

 

I raised my head, and kissed her right away on the lips. Feeling her soft lips on mine, and I think maybe Jennie’s lips are my new obsession other than my lips.

 

I craved after this taste over and over again. Mrs Kim really made me crazy.

 

I pulled her with me, stood up. Still lip-locking, I pushed her to a wall. Our bodies flushed against each other.

 

“R-Rosie”

 

Mrs Kim moaned between our kiss. I felt hot all over, and I couldn’t stop feeling her. I didn’t know where I got the strength but I lift her against the wall. I pushed her on it.

 

Naturally, she circled her arms around my neck and we kept kissing.

 

“J-Jennie” We stopped kissing, gasping for air. I stared at her above my arms, I saw her chest up and down, taking air.

 

After a moment, we calmed down, our breaths steady again. Mrs Kim my cheek with her thumb, looking down at me.

 

“Did you want to continue?” She asked with a croaky voice, must be because she got . Same as me. I earned to feel her, touching every part of her.

 

“yes”

 

I nodded, staring at Mrs Kim still. Waiting for her permission for me to continue. The feeling to sleep with Mrs Kim exciting me. But also, it kind of scary. I have never slept with a woman, we both never. I got scared of what would happen aftermath. But, all I knew right now is, I want her, I need her.

 

“Then, take me to bed”

 

I nodded rather fast. I put her down, to walk but Mrs Kim stop me. “I want you to lift me”

 

“What? Jennie, I’m afraid I’m not strong as a guy.”

 

Mrs Kim smirked at me. She folded her arms over her chest. “If you don’t lift me, then, we’re not going to do anything”

 

My eyes widened at her threat. I frowned, walking to her. I swept her off from her feet, and lord, she’s heavy. Or it was me who wasn’t strong enough.

 

“Wow, you did it” Mrs Kim amused, nonetheless she put her arms around my neck.

 

“S-stop talking, and let me… urgh” I was having a hard time now. My legs wiggled with Jennie’s weight on my arms.

 

I took a step and a step. Our room was upstairs. And I needed to climb for fifteen stairs. This gotten to suffocate me.

 

“Yes, babe a few more” Mrs Kim exclaimed after I climbed ten stairs. Sweat broken out from my forehead.

 

“J-Jennie you suffering m-me…”

 

“Babe, let me give you strength”

 

Mrs Kim kissed me while I was still lifting her. I thought it was a bad idea, but it magical, I felt a new strength inside mine. Maybe it was desires. But I didn’t care, right now, I need her.

 

I walked faster and eventually I made it to our bedroom. Without wasting time, I pushed the door open and walked into it.

 

Sorry guys, you can’t enter with me. That’s all I’m giving to you. We need a privacy. Wink wink.

 

Through the room, you can hear,

 

“Rosie! Stop biting my s! You leaving a lot of hickeys now!”

 

“I’m sorry babe, but it’s fascinating to feel someone ”

 

“Now, I wonder, were you really a straight”

 

“Hehe, I’m straight Jennie. Except for you”

 

Fin~