Our first day in Korea and we met Vernon, Seungkwan, and Woozi from Seventeen! It feels like I’m dreaming!

You stared at the picture all three of you had taken, your face expressionless. The caption was nothing exceptional, but you decided that you were going with it either way. If you didn’t do that one then you would just be quoting one of their songs, and this one was arbitrarily better for your friends who didn’t know anything about kpop.

“Should I tag Vernon, Boo, and Jihoon?” You asked aloud. Caitlin glanced over at your phone screen, her expression turning contemplative.

“I guess I don’t see why not,” she stated.

You stared at the picture. All their smiles looked so real. Everyone’s smile looked so real.

Your eyes drifted to your face in the picture. There was a smile on your face. You could tell that there was one there. Your lips were upturned and everything.

So… Why didn’t your smile look real to you?

You posted the picture.

You didn’t tag them in it.

“Classes don’t start for another week,” you stated finally. “Then we meet the other kids in the program right? No more running around Korea. We have to study.”

“Don’t make it sound so final. We’re here for a whole two semesters! We get to spend Christmas here and everything,” Julia said excitedly.

“We’re really lucky,” you agreed. Likes started to pop up on your phone screen, a few comments popped up as well. Some of your friends were commenting on how much fun it looked. A few were excited because they knew of Seventeen. You closed your eyes, letting the world go dark.

You didn’t feel very lucky anymore.

Why didn’t you feel lucky?

Your eyes dropped to your hands. Rested on your legs they looked pretty normal. You did a quick test, spreading them out, closing them into a fist, raising them into the air.

You were shaking again.

You almost laughed.

Of course you were shaking again. Had you really thought that the stillness of your hands would last?

You shoved them beneath your thighs and leaned forward a bit. Both of your friends were messing with their phones, hardly paying attention to the world around them. You leaned back against the fluffy couch.

“You know what would be cool? If we found that store that Oneus is always shopping in. I know there are like a ton of grocery stores in Korea, and at the end of the day it’s just a grocery store, but it would be so cool if we found it nonetheless,” you stated. Your friends barely responded to you they were so absorbed with their social media.

You considered getting back on your own phone but decided not to in favor of just standing up. You stretched out your arms and walked to a nearby window. The view wasn’t great but nonetheless, it was different than the one you were used to. Back at home, the only thing you could see was the high school across the street. Here you could see so much more. So many more people and interactions.

You watched as a girl walked alone, a grocery bag in her hand, and earbud wires hanging from her ears. Not far from her a group of friends was walking. Three guys and one girl, all laughing thoughtfully. You leaned your forehead against the window.

Two girls, so close to one another physically, but so different from one another in the moment either way. The girl with the grocery bag was smiling. She was happy, maybe because of the music likely playing in her ears. Maybe just because she was having a good day. Either way, it was real. You knew it was. No one would smile when no one was looking for no reason.

The other girl, the one with her friends was smiling too. She playfully hit one of her friends on his arm and loudly proclaimed something you couldn’t hear. Her smile seemed real too. She was in the center of her group of friends, if she wasn’t happy then there would be no need for her to be in the center. She would slink towards the back, trying to draw attention away from her. It was nice to see four people all so genuinely happy with one another. They all seemed to be platonic too. None of the guys watched the girl more closely than they watched one another. It was oddly refreshing.

The girl stuck her tongue out childishly at one of the boys. He protested and began to chase her, he scooped her up and lifted her over his shoulder. opened in what you imagined was a squeal and the boy carried her around the sidewalk. It was loud enough that the girl with the earbuds looked up surprised.

The girl on the shoulder of the boy turned meek when they made eye contact. She smiled and waved. The girl with the earbuds laughed to the point that she covered her hand with and waved as well.

Both girls returned to their own activities.

You wondered what it would be like if either of the girls had seen you. Would you have been able to share their state of innocent bliss? Would you be able to smile with them and let it be completely genuine?

You tried to spread your lips into a smile.

It shrunk after only a moment.

You knew that you used to be able to smile like those girls down there. You knew that once upon a time, you had been able to smile for the stupidest reasons over the stupidest things. No matter how hard life got, you could make a smile cross your lips and it had always been real.

When did your smiles stop being real?

“Oh my god.”

You looked away from the city below you and glanced at Caitlin. She was sitting on the couch, but now her expression was morphed into one of pure excitement.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.”

“What? Did V tweet a good picture or something?” You asked.

“No, your picture on instagram oh my god your picture on instagram, they commented on it.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked, moving away from the window.

“Oh my god, they really did,” Julia exclaimed. “You have to see this! I can’t even believe my eyes!”

You rushed over to the couch and grabbed your phone. On the screen were the normal notifications.

Liked by Sunrise_sunset, Liked by sarangyou, Liked by emilykennedy, Liked by otakulife, Liked by…

You froze.

Liked by woozi_universefactory, Liked by chwenotchew, Liked by pledis_boos

“No ing way,” you murmured. You slide open your phone and loaded the photo. You went under the comment section on your page and sure enough.

Chwenotchew: Wow, The six of us look good together! We should meet one another again!

Pledis_boos: @chwenotchew we’re together all the time what are you talking about?

Woozi_universefactory: I can’t believe we weren’t tagged in this. How are people supposed to know who is who?

You stared at your phone screen, your mouth gaping wide.

“H-how-”

“Well, your account is on public.”

“They still shouldn’t have been able to find it!” You protested.

“Didn’t you spam Seungkwan’s account once? And you comment on all of Woozi’s pictures. Maybe they glanced at your account one time and recognized you when we met,” Julia suggested. You scoffed.

“Do you even hear yourself, they are idols,” you exclaimed. “How could you try to rationalize this? There’s no rational explanation to why idols would leave comments on my instagram.”

“She’s right. It is a little bizarre,” Caitlin agreed. “They didn’t even like our posts.”

“We’re both on private,” Julia pointed out. Caitlin pouted.

“Well, they didn’t try to follow us.”

“I don’t think any of the members of Seventeen have ever done something like this,” Julia stated after a long moment. All three of you stared at your phones. The comments seemed to blur in your vision. You couldn’t even focus on the comments anymore. You couldn’t understand what you had done for them to pay attention to you. It was bizarre the very first time they paid attention to you. It was bizarre now.

You kept thinking that the comments would disappear.

“You’re so lucky,” Julia breathed. Caitlin made a soft noise of affirmation.

The comments didn’t disappear.