Yoohye;; POV

You understood perfectly, didn’t you? The carefree personality was just a facade, I know it was, well, not at the time. But now I do. Everything you did was on purpose. It took me this long to finally understand what you were doing. One would think that I would’ve noticed it earlier. Maybe. But my love for you was so strong that I didn’t want to acknowledge it. But your actions cut into my heart like a sharp and unforgiving knife. Everything changed and the love was instead replaced with terror and confusion.

But, had it ever been love?

Or had that just been a wishful thinking of mine.

The way you would turn everything up-side-down excited me at first. That despite the fact that it made everything even more difficult. The way you would embarrass me in public was a feature I found a bit cute and slightly endearing. Maybe that’s when I should have begun to notice that something was wrong, terribly wrong. The way you always cracked a smile or let out a heart-fluttering laugh whenever I humiliated myself. It wasn’t right. Still, somehow, it eased the embarrassment. Weird huh? You were the one who ridiculed me, yet, I found relief when you showed me that smile of yours.

Now I understand why. You, too, laughed at me.

Maybe it was a one-sided love from my side, whilst you simply found it to be a game. A pitiful game that I eventually lost. But to say that I never wanted that love would be a complete lie. I’d always wanted you, and that was probably also the reason to why I never left. You were the one I loved, and that despite all the humiliation and suffering you put me through. Because at the end of the day you were the one that always put a smile on my face and the only one who made me feel at ease. Plus, you’d been the one and only who’d made my heart flutter so delightfully.

Though, all that changed drastically over time.

Your forceful actions and harsh words penetrated me like bullets. The days repeated themselves, over and over again. The sentences became rougher and the way you acted made me doubtful. Love wasn’t supposed to be like that. But that’s something that I understand just now. It would’ve been so different otherwise. If I’d noticed it earlier. Even so, you’re not the only one to be blamed, I, too.

Naive, that’s exactly how I was at the time, and it was something you took advantage of whilst I had no clue. Was it because I was so gullible that you thought I deserved all that pain? It doesn’t actually matter whether that’s true or not. No one should be put through the suffering you decided to inflict upon me. I’m a human, too, and what you did left a huge scar within. One that probably won’t ever heal. Maybe that was your true intention. To impose as much pain as possible. If that was your goal then you succeeded.

I will never be able to see love as a feeling of something joyous and pleasurable. You destroyed that for me. Just like you wanted. It’s strange how our relationship could have continued like it’d done.

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The chapters will probably be of this lenght ^^