2 years earlier.

It was raining and Wendy was not feeling so good. The group had a late night schedule yesterday and Wendy, in particular, only got two hours of sleep. The car was speeding away in the freeway and they still had a long journey ahead, so Wendy should be able to get more sleep along the way. But the rain was so heavy and it made terrible noises. The raindrops on the roof, the water splash on the tires, and the banging on her side of the window.

Wendy looked around and found Joy was snoring with headphones. Yeri and Seulgi were in front of her, sleeping peacefully as well because they had their earphones with them. Wendy forgot hers. And it cost her greatly.

“All the rain, huh?” Irene spoke to her from the back.

Wendy turned around and looked at Irene from the gap between the seats. She was reading a book. “Yes. I’m tired as hell, Unnie, but the sound.”

Irene put out her hand. “Here. Use my earphones.”

“You’re not using it?”

“I’m not that sleepy,” said Irene without looking at Wendy. She looked like she really into the book she was reading, so Wendy took the earphones.

“Thanks,” Wendy fiddled with the cord for a while. It was weird and amazing at the same time how everything of Irene’s made Wendy’s heart flutter. They lived together for so long now but Wendy could never get used to Irene’s presence in her life. For Wendy, Irene was not human. She was an entity, a creature from who knows where and got lost in the realm of mortal. Irene was too perfect to walk on Earth and Wendy was sure everybody thought so too. Irene was, in her own word, ethereal.

Like the God who turns anything to gold, everything Irene touched absorbs her scent. A flowery, comforting scent. Her scent lingered on the clothes she hung by the door of her room, the sofa she sat on, the glass she used, even the earphones which Wendy held right now, they had Irene’s distinct scent. And that scent was all it took to make Wendy fall deeper into love.

Love.

Wendy would not deny it now. She used to, for a very long time, but no longer. She admitted that what she was feeling for Irene was indeed love.

At one point, Wendy thought Irene giving her the earphones was a way of saying, ‘yes, I have feelings for you too, Wendy,’ but then Irene called her out again and gave her a pashmina.

“And here, give this to Seulgi.”

Irene was nice to everybody. Her members especially. Wendy had to remind herself that or she would be in a state of frustration. Wendy was never special to Irene.

Wendy took the pashmina and put it over Seulgi. The girl stirred a little but she did not wake up.

Wendy sighed. She put on the earphones, blocked all the sounds by blasting the music on her phone. But nothing could block the sound of disappointment in her heart.

**

The group arrived at a big venue two hours later. Wendy was reenergized after a very good sleep on the road. Seulgi looked recharged as well. Joy looked a little out of it but there was renewed spirit in her eyes. Yeri and Irene were walking ahead, talking about something, when Wendy noticed a long and tired yawn from Irene. Maybe she didn’t get any sleep at all along the way.

“Unnie, thank you,” Wendy gave Irene her earphones back. “You okay?”

“Great. Thanks,” Irene smiled.

Wendy followed the members into the changing room. There was a rundown for the day’s event. In about three hours, Red Velvet will take the stage for a live performance. In the meantime, they will enter a series of makeup and wardrobe fitting session.

Wendy found an empty spot next to Irene chair and she sat on it, looking into the huge mirror in front of her. The makeup artist had already started on Irene. Wendy observed her for a while and found the older girl nodded off a few times. Seulgi was on the other side of Irene, talking a little too loud. Wendy shushed her and Seulgi complied.

Then, the makeup artist started on her appearance. Wendy played on her phone while getting her hair done. A half an hour in, Irene made a comment on her hair. She said the makeup artist need to tie it a little higher so it won’t get stuck in the microphone monitor on the back of the costume. Irene also made sure that Wendy didn’t get too much hairspray. Bad for respiration, she said. Then, when the day’s costumes were brought in, Irene made some adjustment to the members’ heights. She wanted the length of the skirt to be not too short.

“But it could make you guys look taller,” said the costume woman.

“Joy is literally a giraffe, Yeri and Seulgi are young and they’re still growing. Wendy doesn’t need to show that much skin.”

“Unnie,” Wendy stopped Irene. “You have to let them do their job. Just sit down and let them.”

Irene rolled her eyes and returned to her chair.

Great, Wendy said in her heart, she might have just shifted to Irene’s bad side.

**

Irene ignored Wendy the whole day after that. Before the performance, during the performance, and after the performance. When they got off stage and marched to the dining area, Irene was nowhere near Wendy.

With a long sigh, Wendy walked to the food and started to fill her plate. Joy was next to her. “Ooh, hey, Brown Bunny. Irene-unnie loves those,” she chirped.

Wendy glanced to the side. Brown Bunny, a chocolate bar. “Irene-unnie likes them?”

“Yeah. I gave it to her the other day and she said she wants more. She’ll be delighted to find them here.”

“But there are only three of them left.”

“I’ll better save some for her.”

“I’ll do it.”

“Okay.”

Wendy grabbed the chocolate bars and held them tight in her hands. She turned and looked for Irene. The older girl was drinking juice and talking with Seulgi at the other end of the room. Wendy would use the Brown Bunny to apologize.

“Wendy-ssi! Could you give us a short interview about the concert? Um, Yeri-ssi. You too, please?”

Wendy took a quick glance to Irene. She had to wait. Wendy put the Brown Bunny on a table, ran to the corridor and, together with Yeri, they gave a short comment in front of a camera. When she returned into the dining area, the Brown Bunny bars were nowhere to be found.

“Oh, no.”

Wendy ran to Joy. “Did you take the chocolate by the table?”

“No. Why?”

“They’re gone.”

“I thought you were saving them for Irene-unnie.”

“I did, but then an interview…. Oh, crap!”

Wendy looked frantically for the chocolate but she couldn’t find them anywhere. Somebody must have had eaten it already. So, Wendy looked inside a garbage bin. There they were. Empty. “Goddamn it!”

Wendy ran to one of her managers. “Oppa. Could you buy me some Brown Bunny, please?”

“Brown what?”

“Brown Bunny. Chocolate.”

“Why?”

“Because I need them. Please?”

“But… where?”

“I don’t know. Outside. Find a convenience store or something.”

“I’m….”

“Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

“No. You’re performing again.”

“Then help me. Please.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

Then the call for Red Velvet to go up on stage came. They performed one more song on stage and ran back behind the stage to wait for the closing ceremony. Irene was still keeping her distance from Wendy. Doesn’t matter, Wendy thought, Brown Bunny was coming.

“Oppa!” Wendy found the manager. He was holding a pack of Brown Bunny. “You only bought one?!”

“They had only one pack left!”

“Oh,” a voice was heard from the side.

Wendy and the manager turned to the side. Irene was standing there, eyes locked to the Brown Bunny. “Brown Bunny,” Irene said.

“Oh, it’s Wendy’s,” said the manager.

“No, no. You can have it,” Wendy said.

“It’s fine,” said Irene.

“No! You can have it. Give it to her,” Wendy hissed at the manager.

“What?”

“Just give it to her.”

“Here,” the manager gave the chocolate to Irene.

“It’s fine, Wendy. It’s yours,” Irene refused.

“No! Unnie! Just take it!”

Irene froze. A second later, she took the chocolate. “Thanks.”

Wendy let out a heavy breath.

“What was that all about?” asked the manager.

Wendy ignored the man.

**

It was raining again when the members got into the car to go back home. Wendy sat alone in the middle seat. Seulgi took the one at the back, Yeri and Joy took the seat in front of her. Wendy was sullen after Brown Bunny incident. From the window, she could see one of the managers was holding an umbrella for Irene as they ran to the car. Irene jumped into the car, ducked down between the seats and when she walked by Wendy, she put her earphones on Wendy’s lap.

Wendy turned to Irene who was taking a sit next to Seulgi.

“Um….”

“I thought you might need it,” said Irene.

“Thank you,” Wendy smiled.

Irene smiled back.

Thank God, Wendy thought. Irene was not mad at her.

--