When Jungkook calms down, Hoseok says goodnight and retreats back to his room. Both laid in their respective beds, in places close enough to note the shift of the mattress but not enough to hear an audible gasp. Jungkook tosses in bed with anxiety over the decisions he’s made thus far. Even his body aches, every which way he tries twisting his limbs, results in a strange discomfort. So much so that he lets out a grunt so loud it shakes Hoseok from his sleep. He jumps from his bed and rushes across the hall to check in on him.

 Visibility panting Hoseok stands in the door frame.

 “Are you okay?”

Jungkook turns over to face Hoseok. He’s noticeably sweaty and flustered at the half- Hoseok. 

  “You scared me!”

 “No, YOU scared me. I heard you yell, and I thought someone was in the house attacking you!”

 “Oh,” Jungkook sits up in bed, covering his bare skin with the comforter, “sorry I just couldn’t sleep, and it was frustrating me. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 “I thought you outgrew all these anxiety attacks.”

 “I have moments where they come back. I just hide them a lot better now that we’re older.”

 “Well, what can I do to help?”

Jungkook simply shrugs, avoiding looking at Hoseok entirely to stop his eyes from wandering down.

 “Want me to stay here awhile? Or at least until you fall asleep?”

 “If you don’t mind.” 

 Instead of answering, Hoseok sits down on the floor beside the head of Jungkook’s bed. He props his elbow on the mattress and lays his head in the crook of his arm.

 “This good?” 

 “Yeah..”

 “I feel like you have more on your mind that you’re not telling me.”

 Jungkook settles back down, laying his head on the pillow. Now at eye level, Jungkook finds it more difficult to maintain eye contact. When he feels his eyes linger, Jungkook rolls onto his back.

 “Maybe I just worry that this won’t work out. We’ve made it here, but I’m not sure where to go from here. This new-found freedom is great, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it.”

 “Well, I think you’re just overthinking this. Sure it’s not easy trying to start over like this, but you just need to take things one step at a time. Once you accomplish one thing, everything will fall into line.”

 “But that first thing. What is it?”

 “Why not start with renovating this old place? You could turn it back into what it used to be, revive the business.”

 “The business?”

 “The orchard! Thankfully the land is still rich enough to maintain the lack of maintenance all these years, but you could turn it into a productive business.”

 Jungkook shifts his position to accurately read Hoseok’s reaction.

 “You’ll help me, right?”

 And with little hesitation, he responds,

 “You know I’d do anything for you Jungkook, you should know that.”

 Hoseok’s bluntness catches Jungkook off guard.

 “But why? I mean, I don’t mean to sound condescending, but the other thing that I’ve been trying to figure out is why you would just abandon everything you had going for you for me. I know we were close as children, but we’ve drifted since then. If anything, I’d think you’d hate me for that.”

 “The truth is, I’m obviously not the biggest fan of your parents; in fact, I blame them for separating us all those years ago. See, Kook, you may think I’m this big hotshot, but the truth is you’re the only one who really knew me. I managed, people came and went, but you were different. I know it sounds weird, and I’m probably rambling now that I’m embarrassed, but when I say I’d do anything for you, I truly mean it.”

 Jungkook couldn’t understand where his own embarrassment was coming from listening to Hoseok’s confession. Sure it wasn’t every day that a man would let his guard down, leaving himself vulnerable and exposed like this. Jungkook’s pulse quickens as he fumbles to find the right response. It didn’t make sense, Hoseok’s sudden reappearance into Jungkook’s life. Yet things between them seemed to have picked up seamlessly where they’d left off all those years ago. Jungkook was sure in his memories of a teenager named Hoseok, but this man sat at the head of his bed felt foreign. He had some sort of inexpressible aura about him that had Jungkook second-guessing.

 “You know… I’ve never had anyone say anything like that to me before, and I think that maybe why I’m having trouble processing it. My entire life has been centered around everyone else, so it’s hard to understand what I’m feeling.”

 “And what are you feeling, Jungkook?”

 “It’s almost as if they’re suppressed deep inside me and the act of trying to unnerve them aches.” Jungkook digs his fingertips into his pec, “even now, it feels as if I’m suffocating.”

 Hoseok finally lifts his head from the crook of his arm, watching for Jungkook’s reaction.

 “It’s not easy stepping out of your comfort zone. I’m sure you’ve grown too used to other people delegating your life for you, and because of that, it will take time for you to live independently.”

 “It doesn’t make sense for someone to not understand their own body though, I must be broken.”

 “You aren’t broken, just unused.”

 Hoseok yawns, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He pulls himself into a ball as tight as he could manage, rubbing his bare arms frantically.

 “If I had known I would be here so long, I would have just laid in bed with you. It’s freezing!”

 Jungkook instinctively shifts his body to make room, but luckily, Hoseok doesn’t notice. 

 “Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up all night with my worries. You can share my blanket.”

 “Oh, Jeon Jungkook, are you inviting me into bed with you?”

 “When you phrase it like that, it sounds weird!”

 “It’s not like you’re the first, it’s not as strange as you think.”

 “First?”

 “You know?”

 Hoseok raises an eyebrow suggestively. Jungkook immediately blushes at the thought, but Hoseok laughs it off.

 “You’re an easy target for teasing. Anyway, scoot over.”

 “W-What?”

 “Make some room for me, I’m a big guy.”

 When Jungkook stares ahead for too long, Hoseok forces himself into the bed. Pressing his cold flesh against Jungkook as he situated himself. Jungkook shudders upon contact.

 “Sorry, I wasn’t lying when I said it was freezing. And if I’m honest, I knew your comforter was thicker than my own and would be warmer than sleeping alone in my bed.”

 “Wait, you’re gonna sleep here.”

 “Just leave me be for a few minutes and stop fidgeting!”

 Jungkook’s body tenses as Hoseok’s fingers tug at his bicep. While it wasn’t the first time he’d been touched, it was the idea of being held that made him nervous. What if his heart was beating too loud if his hands started sweating? Talking about his feelings was one thing, but this level of intimacy was difficult to fathom. Never did he think in his 23 years that the first person he’d be sharing a bed with would be a man he’d only just recently rekindled with after 15 years. Hoseok posed no threat, and strangely his touch was putting Jungkook at ease.

 “I haven’t scared you to death, have I?”

 “No..” Jungkook manages in the smallest voice he can muster.

 “Good. I’m only doing this to help you relax. If you don’t like it, I can stop.”

 “No, it’s not that. It’s just that I don’t know how to react because I’ve never been touched like this before.”

 “Touched like this? You’re saying you’ve never been intimate like this? Not even with a woman? You sly dog, I would have thought you’d have all the ladies swooning over you.”

 “I’ve never even had anyone look at me in that light, let alone kiss or touch me.”

 “You’ve never been kissed either??”

 “Y-Yes.”

 “Ah Kook, you’re missing out. It’s a whole different world.”

 “A world I have no experience in.”

 “Ah, right. But you’d know what to do when you get there, it’s all instinctive.”

 “Do what? Get where? None of this makes any sense.”

 “Oh my poor boy, you’re a more serious case than I thought. You may require my expertise on this matter.”

 “And you have a lot of experience in this kind of thing?”

 Hoseok takes note of Jungkook’s heartbeat increase.

 “All sorts, men and women alike.”

 “Men too???”

 “Unlike you, I don’t question the feelings I have, I just go for it. Outward appearances aren’t important.”

 “Didn’t know that about you.”

 “Not sure if you know much about me.”

 Hoseok flexes his fingers over Jungkook’s shoulder, pulling him toward him and onto his back.

 “But if you’re curious, I can show you.”

 Jungkook’s breath catches in his throat as he stared down what felt like the barrel of a gun.

 “You want to kiss me.”

 “If you’d let me.”

 “That would make things… strange between us.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes, grabbing Jungkook’s jaw with his free hand and leans in, laying his lips on the other’s. Jungkook remained still, neither accepting nor rejecting the advance. Hoseok’s lips meld over Jungkook’s taut lip, pressing inward for not even enough time to take a breath before pulling away. Opening his eyes, he glances back at Jungkook, whose hands had already found their way over his mouth.

 “Perhaps that was too bold of me.”

 “It’s okay,” Jungkook responds, muffled through his hands. 

 Hoseok lifts off Jungkook entirely, removing himself from the bed.

 “I’ll be across the hall if you need me.”

 Jungkook lays in silence, listening for the creak of Hoseok’s bed to release his breath. What was that!?

 Back in his own room, Hoseok can’t help but blush.

 “I didn’t expect it to be like THAT.” 

 He presses his hands to his face— trying to release the heat from his embarrassment.

 

 

 

Hi friends sorry it's been so long I've been busy with my new job and have been rather exhausted/unmotivated but I've been trying to write on my breaks so ideally I'll get back into the groove of things! Also the first few chapters I had already planned out prior to uploading so with some minor editing I was able to get those up pretty quickly but now I'm starting to rework the plot a bit so that's what's taking me longer. Trying to develop the characters a little more and what not (i'm not the biggest fan of this update but that's prob because im a little rusty. When I get back into I promise I'll bring longer and more detailed updates!) Hope to see you soon!!