I always go back to this night. Out of all the experiences I had in my short life and in this existence, I find myself relieving this moment at random times. Some people say that memories are the most priced possession that a man can ever have. No jewel can make you remember genuine happiness or the nostalgia of meeting your first friend. I agree with that as well. I have a few recollections that I always keep in mind and take out at times of trouble. This is not one of them. At most, this is one of those memories that I want to stay buried. Probably forget . but the most unusual of all is that, I can’t even believe that it took place. It was something from a dream. Like something, from someone else’s life and I was just there on borrowed time. Things like this never happen to me. I am the Prince of Wiltshire and everything that happens to my day to day activity is recorded and written down as a report. I am always someone’s subject.

“ Graduation day? Can you believe it?” My friend, Jonghyun could not help but rejoice at this night. Why shouldn’t he? He almost got expelled after that stunt he did during the graduation practices. As I look at him, all brown and blonde hair  (her mom says he looks like a commoner with no grace with that kind of hair. But the girls love it so he ignores it. ) with a glass of champagne in his hands.

“ oh, the college girls won’t know what hit them.” I bite back and he smiles even wider. What you don’t know ladies and gentlemen- is that my friend is a . It’s not an exaggeration really. Cause I cannot find another word. Flirt is too light. But, he is still a good friend. Evidence? Instead of joining the wild party downstairs, he decides to come in this VIP room with me. God. I cannot wait to go to the university to ditch this privacy clause.

“ Yeah! I have a cousin from Lancelot, I mean, he has a new girlfriend every week.” He says and passes me the chips.

“ how exciting, really- you go to a university to learn and live-” I spat out and my head looks at the door only to see Minho enter. Finally, someone I can have a serious conversation with.

“ Minho! How’s the party downstairs?” Jonghyun asks,

“ crazy, but it’s fun as well. We won’t be seeing each other for quite some time. I mean, only a handful got accepted at Lancelot.” He adds and Jonghyun huffs.

“ that’s the beauty of it, I don’t have to worry about ex girlfriends from high school roaming around. ”

I glare at him and he shuts up. We tolerate him and his antics, but I really need to talk to them. Moving away from the palace grounds and this school is a big step for me. Unlike my brother, and even my father, I chose to go to a university on my own. Not just any university. Lancelot. I can go to a private school for the royals, but I chose a public school with international students. A lot of buzz surrounded this decision and I am pretty sure that everything will be harder on me. But I will not take this opportunity for granted, I need this opportunity to spread my wings and leave the nest.

“ about Lancelot, ” I say,

“ don’t tell me you’re backing out.” Minho asked.

“ ofcourse not. I am going to that school, no matter what it takes- and you are going with me right?” They both nodded and I relax.

“ I will be applying for Stanley though-” Jonghyun calls out and I raise my eyebrow at him.

“ You must know that there are houses, ” he says, placing imaginary air quotes on the term houses.

“ he means club, fraternities and sororities.” Minho explains and I nod.

“ I know that we can have an apartment inside the university or outside. ” I tell them. I actually plan on renting one of the school dorms, that way, I can have the whole college experience.

“ Look, there are a lot of groups and society cliques in Lancelot. My dad was from there and his from Stanley, so- It’s natural that I apply over there.” Jonghyun finally says and heads towards the door. This conversation is not enticing him, I think the beer and crazy is calling out for him. I let him leave and I am left with Minho.

“ We will see when we go for the orientation. But- do you remember the lead of the soccer team? Kangta?”

I say yes. I vaguely remember him, but all the girls love him and my brother Leeteuk even told me that he was good.

“ he has scholarship to play over at Lancelot right?”

“ Yes, and I remember hearing from some of his mates that he got in on Eagle house. So, I think that’s good for us. ”

“ If you say so. ”

We drink a bit more and greeted some friends. I make my way towards one of the rooms in the hotel. Our school rented two floors of a hotel and the ballroom to celebrate. Why can’t I find a restroom? I grumble and for once, wish that a bodyguard would be here to assist me. I talked them into leaving me alone just this once. I have to have fun on my last day in high school. I make my way towards the hallway and as I take one step forward, I hear a shout.

“ help!”

I froze.

I am not a coward, I took fencing lessons and even combat. But there was something in that tome that I could not place. Utter helplessness. Walking towards that sound, I am greeted by a scene that made my blood boil. Two boys were holding down another boy, he seemed really thin and he is flailing around but the other two seem stronger.

“ the ! Who are you!” he shouts as he tried to free himself. I can’t even see him clearly as one of them notices me and moves to close the white lights. What remains are the yellow lights of the lamps on the walls. . Darkness. How will I even aim?

“ this is none of your business. This kid is poor- no one will care.” I hear one of them say and that was it. Something in me snapped. As a member of the royal blood, I will not stand for something like this. We try to end the poverty as much as we can. I do care. It’s not true that no one will turn his back for this kid, whoever he is.

Thank God I am a prince. As much as I want to throw a punch at these two men, I don’t even know them. This party became an all school party and a farewell to me as well two days before. So, I don’t even know who these men are. If the police tried to ask me. I pull my gun out and it. The sound was hard to miss.

“what the hell?” one of them says.

“ I can see you and this gun is itching to shoot something vile.” I tell them coldly and I hear shuffling of feet.

“ it’s too dark you .” Another one says and I grin.

“ so? I will just shoot randomly – I’m pretty sure I will hit one of you. I just need to use this gun you know, I need to shoot something,” I try to lace my voice with something sinister. Plus, I am really angry and it worked. I hear them curse and hear someone whimper. I walk towards the darkness. The moonlight was my only guide and that damn yellow lights. I never was good in night vision, it’s a problem of mine.

“ hey, you’re safe- I’m not gonna shoot.” I say calmly.

“ don’t come near me.” He finally speaks but I still move forward. I feel a hand clutch mine and it’s cold. So cold. He is trembling.

“ it’s okay, I will get you out of here.” I tell him and pull him close to me. I can feel him shake in my arms and for a moment I wonder what they did to him. I am about to ask but I hear him speak.

“ those bastards came close, thank you.” He whispers in between his sobs and I pull him closer. Was it stranger’s instinct or something else? I am not an affectionate person with people I do not know. Yes, I can shake hands and be compassionate. But this is something different. Like I want to save him from everything. He looks up at me and finally, I can see his face. He is beautiful. Clearly. I appreciate beauty when I see it, men or women- I do not care. His jaw is sharp, his eyes are feral even with tear stains in them. But what caught my eye was the necklace with the cross pendant. It stood out, seeing that his shirt is torn and bloodied.

 “ who are they?” I asked, giving him some space but still holding his hand.

“ I don’t know. I work here, part time. And they came  to me when I went inside for room service. Those s are drunk. Their parents are wasting their money educating them.” He seethes and I feel elated with his fire.

“ you tell me about it, I can’t wait to get out of this place.” I tell him and as he looks at me, I can see it in his eyes that he suddenly realizes who he is talking to. This always happens, one moment I am talking with a stranger and they realize I am the prince. But with him, it is only momentarily and he goes back to a semblance of calm.

“ thank you.” He whispers and comes close to me. I can feel the faint scent of a perfume I cannot place and a unique scent that was only his.

“ no problem.” I stuttered. Why am I stuttering? He moves closer till our noses are almost touching. He breathes in and I swear I need something to keep me on my feet. I have kissed girls and a few boys and I know what will come next. But there is something different this time. My heart is pumping from the adrenaline of what happened awhile ago. And this entire scene. This setting, all yellow lights and the moon illuminating parts of the hallways. This does not happen to me. I am not allowed to stay in empty hallways and start threatening people that I will shoot them for fun. Most of all, I do not kiss strangers. He squeezes my hand, like he is asking for permission and I can only nod.

Next thing I know, his mouth is on me and I moan in response. I am not a in this aspect but , his mouth is something else. He bites at my lower lip and begs for entrance. His tongue peeks and he explores mine like we knew each other from years ago. This is not a stranger’s kiss- this is how a husband kisses his wife after weeks of separation. My hands move to pull him closer though his waist and he moans in response. By brute force, I push him towards the wall and mentally berate himself. Nice going Lee Jinki, he just experienced violence awhile ago and now you are shoving him? Kissing him like this? I slow down my motions and he moves away to say.

“ don’t’ stop.”

Oh. Okay. That’s a cue to continue? I move my hand everywhere and try to take hold as much as I can. He is lovely and I want to know what we can do on a proper bed. I stop at the thought. No. I am not that type of guy. Thankfully, he lets go and we breathe hard.

“ wow -” he says,

“yeah,” I respond, trying to catch my breath.

I want to kiss him some more, get to know him and all that but I know that we can’t do that right now. I hand him my coat and he readily accepts it.

“ I have to go,” he says and I want to argue, but I know and I can see it in his eyes. I ruffle his hair, jet black with red highlights.

“ Please be safe.” I tell him and he is finding this hard to let go as I do. He turns his back from me and disappears towards the other side. I stand there for quite some time till Minho finds me. I tell him it’s nothing and that I am having a moment of drama and . He buys it.

            I wake up from that dream. From that memory and no matter how many years passed, i can always see it so clearly. I can feel everything like he is right next to me and I am craving for that kiss once more. Everytime this happens. Everytime I dream about him. I tried to look for him, the hotel said part time workers are not registered and clearly, not minors. I know he is the same age as I am. Did he lie about being an employee there? Is he illegally employed? I don’t know. But for months and years, I am haunted by that night in that empty hallway. That one time thing that seems so frivolous compared to what I see in movies and read in books.

I mean, who writes a book about hook-ups on dark hallways?

I don’t even know his name.

I look at my clock, 7:00 am. Just in time for my early run.

I’m in my Junior year in Lancelot university right now. The right hand at Eagle house where I stay with my roommate and bestfriend Minho. Some things don’t change really. I am still a prince with royal guards everywhere. Supporters and fans that profess their love for me. Jonghyun is here as well and sure enough, he got accepted in Stanley back in our freshmen year. And most of all, my mind is still clouded with memories of him. It was only once but my mind can’t seem to let him go. Even my heart is betraying me.

Everyday since that day I remember him. Not a day passes by that I don’t think about that night or what I could have done different. What if I told him to not go? What if I asked his name? what if I looked more?

What If. Everyday.

As I roll out of bed and head towards the shower I whisper to myself and close my eyes.

“ Where are you? ”