Key's POV

I never believed in Fate or Destiny because if I did, that meant I am destined to be miserable and alone. A wise man told me that our fate is in our hands and who we want to be depends on us. No force of the universe is conniving for me to fail- it's just me and my fear. Once I realized that the only thing keeping me away from reaching my dream is fear and ignorance. I just had to take the jump.

I was born alone, left by my parents to be cared for by strangers. My first memory was listening to this music in the radio all alone because no one wanted to talk to me. Countless families took me in, too many strangers masquerading as someone important in my life. For someone who was born out of spite , I found it hard to see love and take it. Who can blame me? for someone who was born alone, I had no hopes.

But I am smart, I learned faster than everyone. My teacher told me I was a fast learner and that I needed more training. and so instead of seeking for my parents and for the comfort of a family i decided to be a better person. I dabbled in everything. sports, arts and mathematics. anything that they will allow me to study.

I did not have money to attend high school regulary but the same teacher who singled me out and told me I was smart was able to grant me access to classes. I took a test to get my diploma.

I have met alot of people and they all left a mark in me. But none like what he did. Prince Jinki.

Thinking about it, I bet it was the universe's joke on me. Like, the fates saying : 'oh look, the orphan boy, why don't we make him pine for a prince to make him more miserable?'

He came that night.

He came for me and there was not a single night day I have not thought about him. It was exactly like the fairytales. he came in and saved me from peril. and i am forever grateful. Was it a blessing or a curse? I have no idea. But keeping that moment with me, remembering it when i get the chance is never a labor.

I look out the windowsill and I cannot believe that I am standing here. Lancelot. And just a couple of hours ago, I kissed him again. and this time, we do know each other. We know what we are doing and we have to talk about it after.

That night, I jumped the gun and kissed him because I have heard news that he will move out and stay in Lancelot. I knew there was no chance he will track me down.

I just didn't know that we were bound to be together. How could I have been stupid? Who was I to think that an emotion like that can be forgotten? The spark that made me sick to my stomach. a love that felt like you were being stabbed by a blunt knife over and over again. over and over, till you feel no more pain but a presence of something more. something more than you will ever know.

" Hey! You awake? " My roommate, Mir, asks me and I look at him. he looks like a wreck, he crashed in here in an hour I don't even remember.

" ofcourse, unlike you, I can handle my liquor." I tell him and he groans.

" I swear i was not going to drink that much." he complains and hides his face. " but that pretty girl just kept passing me shots and-"

" I know, I know- you are fighting the good fight of impressing girls." I tell him and threw him another pillow. " but you could impress her more if you studied, got good grades and a job so you can buy her all the chanel stuff she wants."

" Yes Mom!" he mocked me and I controlled the urge to dumo water in his bed. he looked wrecked and we both have classes to attend to and a test as well.

" You do realize we have an exam in like, two hours right?" I and he bolts upright.

" I know! I studied, but my brain is all muddled up." he whines and I laugh. Mir can be irritating at times, but as soon as i got to know him, he is pretty good. he is sensitive and childish, but loyal.

" perhaps taking a shower and eating breakfast will help you?"

I drag him towards the shower and closed it. I can do this. I should not be side-tracked. I feel like I am living different lives all at one. The college student. The royal guard in training. and the last one, the Kim Key who is free to love Lee Jinki. the one who can pursue him without question. if i were to pick one, that would be my favorite.

I knock on the door, making sure Mir is really moving and not curled up in the corner and sleeping once more.

He steps out minutes later and I take my turn. we both step out the roon and i spot jonghyun, who looks like he did not host a party last night. i swear, he has some voodoo up his sleeve. no one can have this much energy.

" hey! " he calls out and I flinch.

" we have a test, we need to get going. " I cut him off, but he does not budge and continues to follow us.

" did you guys enjoy the party huh? was it good?"

"amazing! really, too bad we had a test, when did it end?" Mir asks.

" 4 am, " he chimes in and i did a double take. this guy is unbelievale, three house of sleep and he looks like he is well rested.

" i can't believe you-" I tell him.

" and i cannot believe you either- "

I am about to open the door to step out the house when jonghyun speaks to me, closer -as if he does not want Mir or anyone to hear what he is going to say.

" I can't belive that you and Onew hooked up. "

as soon as the words left his mouth, my whole body went cold. If there was anyone who shouldn't know about me and onew- it's him. but how could he know? did he see us?

" I don't know what you're talking about" I hiss at him and made my way out. I cannot have this problem in my head before I take the exam.

" Look, I am not going to condemn you or anything. if it makes you feel better, Onew had a crush on you since the start of the term"

I have to ignore him. no matter how much I want to talk to someone about what i have with onew. now I understand why those people love to talk about their love lives. It helps to talk to people with mutual insanity.

" why are you still following me?"

" Key! Man, look you're both my friends. and no, I did not peek inside. But I know my friend has the hots for you. and when you two talked and you entered that room, I KNEW." His voice was full of honesty that i felt bad for thinking that he will sell us out or something like that. "and I saw you after, you kissed or something more. i know the look. all dishevelled and - "

" OKAY STOP! " I turn to him and he is smiling at me. the manipulative .

“ Look, I am not going to our the two of you. I have been friends with Onew ever since I can remember. As for you, I like you- You are one of those people we can trust.” His voice is so sincere that I nod and I just cannot stay in here. I have to review some more before the test begins. But I cannot ignore this.

“ I like him. Okay? And not because he is a Prince or something, I like him. And I know it’s bad cause I am a royal guard-”

He smirks at me and I smack him,

“ what? This- this is just so good. I mean, trust Onew to have a complicated life and an ever more complicated love life. But you both have to be discreet about it. I am not the only observant in this campus.”

I know what he is talking about. Everyone in this campus will pay an amount of money for news about the Prince. Add the fact that the stalker is still on the prowl and if he or she knew about this, they are in serious trouble.

“ we haven’t really talked that much-” I say and it’s a bad thing to say because jonghyun chuckles and i realize that Mir already left me.

“ I know, you two don’t do much talking right?” jonghyun adds.

“ shut up you ert!” I scold him and his face turns all serious again. It’s the mask of concentration when he is planning an event or composing music. He tunes everything out and focuses on one task.

“ Kangta knows about this, he was there last night. He was actually the one who came up to me and asked if you two were close. I mean- you two were going inside a room- ”

Kangta? He’s the President of the Eagle house and Onew’s mentor. I think we can trust him.

“ Okay, I will talk to him. ” I tell him and turned away. I think I have to go to Eagle house first but jonghyun stops me.

“ we are on your side, just tell us the truth. The both of you, okay? I don’t want to hear about this from someone else. ”

“ thank you Jonghyun.”

I still have an hour and a half before my exam starts. I groan at the time wasted, I should be studying and going over my notes rather than being a nervous wreck like this. Looking at the eagle house, I feel a ringing in my ear and I walk swiftly. There is no way i’m dragging this. Better to get this done and over with.

As I open the door and slide my card as a visitor, I am greeted by kangta who is on his way out.

“ good morning!” I greet him and he looks surprised to see me.

“ Hey- What brings you here?” he asks and I look around, we are fairly alone.

“ Look, Jonghyun told me about last night.”

“ what about?”

He really is going to drag this out of me. But his eyes are not twinkling, he is not teasing and smug like Jonghyun. He almost looks admonishing, like a parent disappointed from a lying kid. And that’s how I feel. Kangta had always been more mature than us (atleast that is what I observed.).

“ that you asked about me and onew. ” I croak out. “ I don’t mean him any harm- I know that you are his mentor and you have been looking out for him ever since he came here. ”

“ Look, you should be more careful.” He cuts me off and I fight the urge to be irritated. I try to understand his feelings, I try to put myself in his shoes. For him, I am a nobody and not even a friend. Compared to Onew, someone he cares for.

“ I am not sorry for this, but I promise to be more careful and if it comes to a point that it will hurt Onew- I will back off. ”

He eyes me and only nods. Like an agreement and we don’t need words and sign a deal to end everything. I smile at him and he does not return it. I look around, I remember where Onew’s room is and I quickly make my way towards it. Thankfully, Minho comes out and he smiles at me. Smug smile. I mean, come on! These friends really act alike, don’t they?

“ he’s sleeping, he’ll be happy if you wake him up.”

“ Okay.”

Opening the door, I look around. I knew it, rooms in eagle house are more traditional but really cozy. I spot him asleep in his bed and I make way towards him. I don’t want to wake him up, but I have to. He stirs for a moment and I take that as a cue to wake him.

“ hey, hey, ” he wouldn’t open his eyes and so I pull him towards me “ love” it slipped out and his eyes shot open.

“ aren’t you eager? ” he smiles at me and I take one pillow and whack him with it.

“shut up! How?” I say , exasperated. How can he take this so lightly?

“ what? You’re the one who came in my bed. ”

“ I don’t believe you- ” my smile wouldn’t go away, I try to keep a serious face but seeing him like this. It’s almost a sin not to smile back and even give him a hug. “ Look, i should be studying for my exam, but I had to go here.”

“ oh, lucky me!” he chirps and I roll my eyes.

“ Jonghyun just told me he knows about us, even Kangta.” I blurt out and he sits up straight.

“ wait, how? ”

“that little stunt we did, sneaking inside that room. The two of them saw it, apparently, they were looking out for you the entire time.”

“ they are better than my royal guards then.” He jokes and I snap at him.
“that’s not the point, we should-” He comes closer, bringing his face closer to me. His hands wrap around my wrist and I feel myself stop short. He always had this effect on me. This belief that if he just holds my hand and stares me at the face, everything will disappear.

“ you were saying?” he says saucily and I snap back to reality.

“ we should talk and sort this out, whatever this is.” I gestured between the two of us and he turns serious.

“ Okay, we will talk about it. ”

“ Okay, just- I talked to jonghyun and kangta.” I tell him and he smiles, “ what? You should be ashamed of yourself! Leaving me to talk to them, ”

He pulls me into a tight embrace and I relax into it. This right here, is the very definition of a cheesy relationship and I don’t even care. I pull him closer to me, for a moment, I cling onto him tighter than usual and he does not flinch or move away.

I can get used to this.

“ sorry, so, what torture did jonghyun put you through?”

“ nothing I can handle.” I reply, “ But Kangta is different, you know how serious he is. And we are not exactly friends, plus he looks out for you. ”

“ I will talk to Kangta, as for Jonghyun, he may tease us for quite some time. And, Minho and Taemin knows.”

I am not surprised with that, and it would be easier for us if his inner circle knows about us. But I know that when Jinu catches wind of this, I have to do something.

“ I have to go, we will talk later okay? After my exam, I will find you-” there is something almost romantic with what I said and i can’t believe I am capable of this early morning. Apparently, with him, I can wear my heart on my sleeve.

“ As you wish. ” He pulls me in a kisses me on the mouth. Just a press of lips but I still feel the electricity in my body. I am still for a moment and I collect myself. Finding the strength to stand up and walk away from him.

//

Onew felt relieved. This is what the ‘calm after the storm’ feels like, isn’t it? How could he even felt like this could not work at all. They would talk this out, like adults. They have waited for this long enough. But there is a part of him, a part of him that expects everything to crumble. It’s not like they can waltz around and everything will accept them. He doesn’t even know if Key feels the same way. He is pretty sure he loves him, but knowing that the other one might not- it’s too much.

“ Hello-” He looks up and sees Key, hovering over him. He looks a bit tired and his hair looks winded, like he literally ran over to see him. Onew feels relieved.

“ you okay?” he asks and pushes a bottle of soda over to him. It dawns on him, this seems so casual. Like they are just here to catch up and study together. But this is different, his heart is on the line this time and maybe he shouldn’t be giving hi soda- probably some fancy wine or champagne. But Key gets it from him and studies him close.

“ I’ve been thinking about this talk you know,” he says uneasily and Onew moves closer.

“ then start, how should we do this?”

“ I know you have alot of questions for me, so, you first.”

Onew sighs in relief. He sees himself as an open book, and Key is his royal guard so he was briefed about Onew’s life history. Key is the complete mystery, it’s been years since they last met. And even before that, he does not know him. Not even his name.

“ What happened to you, after that night?” he asks softly and Key relaxes.

“ well, I went home and pined about you.” He said seriously and Onew flushes.

“ after that, what happened? How did you become a royal guard?”

“ I am not yet an official royal guard, ” he presses on and Onew nods.

“ Initially, I wanted to be a royal guard to see you.” His voice is low, almost soft. Like this is a secret that he never told anyone till today. Onew wants to pull him close, to tell him that he should not feel embarrassed saying this.

“ my guardian is a scholar, a professor, so it was not hard to get me in training. I am pretty smart and I can do all the physical stuff. But I never really looked into it as something i will do for the rest of my life It’s like, there is an unconscious side of me, wanting to be with you. Wanting to see you once more, I didn’t expect for you to remember. So I acted like that.”

“ How can you even think that I’ll forget that?” Onew asks,

“ I don’t know, I mean, you are a Prince. And I am me.”

The line is drawn with the statement, how far apart they really are. They may be inches away, but in reality, in what matters- they are miles apart. A Prince and an Orphan Commoner. The Prince and the Pauper.

“ I don’t care- we will make this work,” Onew snapped and Key can’t help but feel a bit irritated, Onew should care more about his image. About their situation and what people would think.

“ I’m not worth it,” Key said, self-depreciation in his tone.

“ Stop. Okay? I want you, stop arguing.” Key eyes him, his eyes wide. He can’t believe that this is happening. It’s like yesterday that he was a lonely kid, barely getting by. And now, he is here, infront of the one person that matters in his life. When did he get so lucky?

“ Okay.” He says meekly.

“ Okay.” Onew mimics and they stare at each other, breaking into uneasy laughter as they fall into an easy conversation.

//

Key could not take this. He is such an idiot. Who stays in his room after he already has a “boyfriend” instead of spending every minute with said boyfriend? Him. Mir ignores his sighs and how he stares out the sky.

“ are you filming a music video discreetly?” Mir asks,

“ no- why?”

" I mean you have that far off look on your face and you are bside a window-" he trails off and Key glares at him.

"are you mocking me? I have a serious problem here."

" ooh. love problem? " he asks fondly,

" yeah, and something else."

He huffs and straightens his stance. It's supposed to be fine, he can relax. he knows what he has to do. But something happened. after he met with Onew, there is a note in his locker. no one ever left a note. the chill in his spine shpuld have been a clue to who it's from.

Opening the letter, his suspicion is validated. the stalker.

Stay away from him. He is mine. He is my prince.

A clear threat to him and to Onew. Who knows what this person will do with this anger? He or She can sell pictures of them, did they get caught in a photo while kissing? just the thought of it made him sick. That would be too much of a scandal. although the country and the palace is tolerant, they would not accept a scandal like that. and with Onew's spotless image with the media.

" need my advice?" Mir offers, and he adjusts his eyeglasses, getting all serious even if Key finds that hard to do cause his hair is pulled up in a ponytail.

" okay, speak up- oh wise one!" he cooed but Mir did not get irritated,

" Look, I knew there was someone Key. I knew it, I always asked myself, eversince we became roommates, why didn't you bring someone in here? why don't i see you with anyone? I mean, girls love you and the guys want to be your friend-" he stops for a moment and Key tells him to continue, "for a moment, I thought you had a tragic thing for Jonghyun-"

Key squeaked and proceeded to fake gag and Mir laughed.

" You were pretty close and that guy has charisma. "

" not my type," Key finished and Mir nods in agreement.

" I see you thinking sometimes, kinda like what you did awhile ago. and a few times, when you come in here and you are just so happy. I know that look, and so the only question is- why are you letting that go?"

The question gutted him.

" I am not letting anyone go," he complains.

" then why are you here? why are you sulking in here rather than spending time with that person? "

" it's complicated." he replies tightly and Mir throws his hands up.

" You- Everyone always says that, it's complicated. but you know what? nothing is complicated if you just make a move and stop being so scared." his tone is accusing and Key is surprised at this side of Mir. He never got serious like this or lectured him, it was always th eother way around. if Mir sounds right and is lecturing him, maybe he really is doing something wrong.

" I have every right to be scared- "

" and what about that other person, he's scared to. it's a two way relationship, you have to help each other out." Mir offers and Key smiles.

" if this does not go well, I'll kill you in your sleep." Key jokes and Mir grimaces.

" Oy! you're so cruel! I just helped you, "

" oh, you can help me." Mir looks at him, question in his eyes, " ask around if the soccer team has those team building trips tonight."

Mir looks at his computer and starts emailing people.

===========

He tried to come up with a dozen different scenarios of what he should have done to not drive Key away. Honestly, he does nto even know what he did to get this reaction. Key went in his bedroom , early morning, sat in his bed and did not pull away when he kissed him. But after that talk, he did not even spend time with him.

does he need space?

They have been apart for so long, how can he handle it? Perhaps it's just his wishful thinking. a delusion.

Minho is not going to be spending the night, he is with his soccer mates for a team building trip. This means he will spend the night alone and thinking what he had done wrong to drive Key away. he wanted to call or even march over to Stanley, but he does not want to be pushy. the ball is in his court, Key's.

before he enters his room, he catches Kangta, about to leave his room.

" Kangta!"

He looks a bit startled but Onew rushes over to him.

" Hey, look, I heard you talked to Key."

Kangta'e eyes narrowed and he is suddenly feeling tense about this. Kangta has that air about him, that you don't want to disappoint him at all.

" Yes." he replied, tight-lipped.

" I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything, you have been putting up with me and for all these years. you always defended me and bent backwards to accomodate me and my guards. I should have told you, I was just-" he stops short and Kangta's face is unreadable. " Key is important to me and I just, we can handle this. we will be more careful and we will watch out- "

" Okay." Kangta says finally and Onew blinks at him. well, he expected more than that. perhaps a long lecture.

" I just wanted to hear it from you-" he says finally and Onew breathes evenly.

" why are you still here, don't you have that team building?" he asks.

" I left something, I am on my way back."

Kangta jogs away and waves at him. Onew feels like it's settled already, but he knows it will take time for their friendship to be the way it was. He hated lying and sneaking around, especially to his friends. to those he trusted.

with no other choice, he opens his room door and is greeted with the sight of Key outside his balcony. knocking, wearing sweatpants, a bright colored hoodie and sneakers.

" what the hell-" he says absently and moves towards the balcony, unlocking the door and Key rushes inside.

" I thought I was going to freeze outside," he says as he rubbed his hands together.

" we have a perfectly functional main entrance door, you didn't need to go all spiderman and show up at the window. " Onew said, grinning widely. looks like his day is looking up.

" I didn't go for spiderman, I'm in theatre, it's romeo and juliet i was looking for." he deadpans and Onew chuckles.

"so?"

" sorry I went distant for awhile," Key says finally. "it's just alot to take in. I can't believe that we're here, together. " he trails off and Onew holds his hand, giving him warmth.

"same here, but we have to stay together if we want to get through this. I'm sorry you had to be stuck with me."

" Oh yes, I am so unlucky to be with a Prince." Key clicks his tongue and Onew inches closer.

" I won't give you up- I refuse. " Onew says seriously, looking into his eyes. Hoping, willing, that his eyes can tell him everything. There are just so many words he can say to tell his feelings and they all seem so inadequate. Key seems to understand and for the first time in years, he lets his guards down.

He sees what could become of him, of the two of them. He sees his happiness, right infront oh him and for the first time- he grabs it. taking it in his hand, gripping it tightly. Fearless.


"I - oh, screw it," Key said, and wrapped his arms around Onew's
shoulders to pull him in for a kiss.

It was better than all the other kisses they shared , which Key wouldn't have thought was possible prior to that very moment. Onew put an arm around his waist andthe other hand in his hair and angled his head slightly, and Key could havestood pressed up against him forever, lips meeting again and again in aseries of soft and sensuous kisses. Onew's teeth nipped at his lower lip, and Key couldn't stop the moan that rumbled up from his chest.

"Been thinking about this since you came in here this morning" Onew said against his mouth.

"Good," Key said, pressing closer and kissing him again. soft drugging kisses that made him want to curl up in them forever.


"Your buttons are uncomfortable," Key  said. "Take your coat off. And the vest, too."

Onew slipped the buttons free and started pulling the coat off, so Key pressed in, cupping his jaw and kissing him again. It was addictive. Onew let the coat and vest drop to the floor, and Key was abruptly certain he'd never been so careless with his clothes before, ever. It was gratifying.

Onew was handsy, and Key didn't mind at all. He let Onew press him closer, tangle a hand in his hair to angle his head a bit, run a hand up and down his back and then grip his shoulder hard. He nipped at Onew's lower lip and pressed a trail of kisses across his jaw. It really was a very nice jaw. Onew was walking them somewhere, slowly, and Key took careful steps
backwards, but he'd had the foresight to put his shoes up against the wall and he didn't trip over anything.

Onew pressed him up against the wall and trapped his hands against it. He rocked his hips, and Key felt shivery and flushed and awesome. He wanted to take off all his clothes, but he also wanted to stay there forever, pressed against the wall and kissed within an inch of his life.

Except -

"Onew," he said, trying to pull his hands free.

"Mmm," Onew said.

"Your shirt studs, they're really," Key said. Onew had his mouth on Key's collarbone, and his hips pressed snugly against Key's, and he could not concentrate on what he wanted to say.

"Really what?" Onew asked, pulling back a little bit.

"Um, really digging into my skin," Key said.

Onew looked down at his chest, and there were actually some red marks where they'd been rubbing against each other. He bent down and kissed the top one gently. "If you wanted me to take off the rest of my clothes, you could have just asked," he said.

"I want you to take off the rest of your clothes," Key said.

Letting his hands go and started working on his cufflinks (why Onew wore this almost formal wear today, he regrets it. he was informed that reporters will come in towards the evening but no one came), which put both of his arms crossed between them, which meant Onew couldn't kiss him, and that was just not on. He pulled Onew's tie off and started in on
ing the shirt himself.

Once Onew was occupied with pulling the shirt off, Key moved on to untucking his undershirt, but he pulled it halfway up Onew's chest and got distracted by running his fingers over all the bare skin. Onew intercepted his hands and brought them up to his lips to kiss each fingertip one by one. Key pulled his hands free so he could finish taking Onew's shirt off. He wanted to do everything, and he wanted to do each individual thing forever, and he was aware that those two desires were not entirely compatible.

Onew pressed into him again, sliding a leg in between his thighs so they could get even closer. His lips were a little swollen from kissing, which mostly made Key want to just kiss him more, until they'd forgotten about everything that was anything other than each other. He ilted his head up a bit - Onew really needed to take his shoes off, they made him too tall when Key was already barefoot - and kissed him again, and again.

There was a ringing in his ears. He'd never actually felt this blown away before, and they didn't even have their pants off yet. He'd had before, too, and it had never been like this. It was possible he was a little bit further involved than he'd thought.

"bed please," Key said in between kisses and Onew obliged, practically throwing them both in his bed. the warmth is too much for them and although they are pressed together, it still felt like it's not enough. They both needed more. Both and rubbing up against each other, kissing each other in places they just fantasized years ago.

Friction. too much friction and it's like they were 15 again, with no control of themselves and the pleasure as too much. Their came out of nowhere, ripping through them. Embarrassingly quicker than their usual. they haven't even done the deed yet.

and somehow, it felt like the most intimate thing they had ever done. Doesn't matter if they had other partners before each other. doesn't matter if they laid in bed with someone before. what mattered was the now, their bodies pressed against each other and the relentless urge to kiss and touch.

they were drowning.

it felt good.

//

It's early in the morning and Jinu hates the fact that he has to look at his mail first thing. he hates reading letters and posts when his brain is not even functioning well. something caught his eye, it's from Key. what the hell does he need from him, written in a letter? he can just call. he opens it and reads:


The Royal Guard Training program provided me with alot of knowledge and skills for the past months. add the years I trained with the palace. I have learned alot from you and the team, and I will continue to serve the country and it's Queen. But I have decided to pursue other directions. As you told me once, it does not always take violence and a gun to defend this country. and I guess I am taking that path.

Thank you. This is my resignation letter and i hope we find the happiness that we deserve.

This is just a letter for you, I will make a more formal one that I will pass to the academy.

- Key


He smiles for a moment, he always knew that the kid won’t last long. Add the fact that he is fairly sure he and the Prince have some history together. He is pretty observant, he does not miss that at all.

Another note caught his eye, the black envelope did. There is something intimidating about the stark color and he opens it. He is not wrong. This note has a clear message to give.

I have Key, tell Prince Jinki to get him or he will die.

Yours truly,

“.” He mutters and races out.

===
Author's note:
1. OMG. I cannot believe we are one more chapter before this series ends. I feel a bit sad and relieved. the next chapter will be chapter 8 and an epilogue. hopefully, I can thrown in some graphics and a mixtape.
2. SHINEE COMEBACK TEASERS. OMGGGGGGGGG. Tell me your thoughts.
3. Last chapter will be posted: March 16, 2012 (or earlier)