I love the sound of the rain, fallin’ down on the roof in the month of May
I love to feel the sun, after the rain, on my face
But most of all,
Yeah most of all,
I love you
                  Most Of All Aselin Debison

Saturday morning found Taeyong having an internal crisis for the dumbest of reasons. He was currently in his bedroom, staring between a hoodie and a zippered track jacket, trying to decide which one to wear. The hoodie was more comfortable and could offer better protection and privacy if he put the hood up. But he was going to be sitting in a gym all day, and he might get warm, and if he wore the jacket he could it, at least. Because he might get cold if he took either of them off all the way. Some gyms aren’t drafty while some are iceboxes. You never know until you get there.

It was just that the hoodie complimented the rest of his look better, provided a good way to pull his jeans and hair in together. Not that it should matter! It’s not like he was going out with the intention of impressing anyone. Well, he wanted to look good, just to reinforce that he’s attractive. Like a pride thing. But not too good.

On that note—hoodie it was. He pulled it on over his head just as his phone beeped. Again.

“I’m coming down now!” He answered the call, stopping to give his grandmother a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door of the apartment. He took the elevator down four floors, where he finally met Woosung, who was waiting outside the main doors to his building.

“Dude, we were supposed to leave ten minutes ago,” Woosung levelled a playful glare at him, amused because Taeyong actually seemed flustered.

“Sorry, I just like, spilled something on my clothes. I had to change.” Oh why was he lying? It sounded suspicious.

“Right, sure you did.” Woosung wasn’t going to ask why he’d taken long, because he was trying to foster a sense of trust. He didn’t want to seem like he was just trying to get information out of him. He especially didn’t want to put Taeyong in a bad mood, because somehow he’d actually agreed to come with him to check out Hanbin’s boxing tournament. Woosung knew it probably had more to do with having no other plans (or friends to make plans with) than anything else, but that was fine. He was happy to help bridge the gap between them.

He also knew that Hanbin had somehow managed to get Taeyong to agree to have dinner with him a week ago (or rather, just a meal, nothing serious, as Taeyong had panickingly referred to it when he’d asked him) and he was hoping that maybe Taeyong was finally ready to move past their rivalry. Woosung just wanted the whole thing to be over with, wanted to feel like he’d helped them out in some small way.

They talked about sports on the way there, discussing the results of the NBA game they’d both streamed on-line the night before. It was an easy conversation, and Woosung felt good about the day’s prospects when they finally got to the venue. He led the way inside, but as soon as they entered the building it was like Taeyong’s defense mechanism had kicked back on.

“I can’t believe I let you bring me to this,” Taeyong complained, scowling as he followed Woosung inside. It was his own fault, of course, he knew that, it’s not like Woosung had twisted his arm.

“Hey, if you’re lucky, you might get to watch Hanbin getting knocked out,” Woosung teasingly replied.

“Yeah, that’s the only thing I’m holding on to today,” Taeyong answered. He wasn’t really sure why he’d agreed to come. Partly because Woosung was still his only friend in this end of the city, and partly because he’d needed an excuse to avoid going to some church event with Daehee. And maybe partly because he was just curious, too. He hadn’t known that Hanbin had been into boxing, not until the previous weekend when they’d gone for ramen together after studying. It had been an unexpected thing to learn, and he was curious to see what kind of fighter he ended up being.

“Well, usually he doesn’t lose, so don’t get those hopes up too high,” Woosung said, “you’ll probably have to watch him win.” They entered the gym and immediately Woosung saw Hanbin’s family across the floor. He hadn’t seen Hanbin’s parents since they’d broken up, and he kind of missed them. Okay, not kind of. He definitely missed them. He wondered if Taeyong would object if he went over to say hi?

“Hey, so, don’t be pissed with me, but I kinda want to go say hi to Hanbin’s family. You can go sit if you want, I won’t be long.”

To his surprise, Taeyong seemed intent on following him. “I’ll come with you.”

Woosung looked at him in confusion. “Really? You sure?”

Taeyong shrugged it off, wishing he hadn’t agreed. “Yeah, I mean he talked about them last weekend, so I guess I’m a little curious.” He hoped Woosung wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, because it totally wasn’t a big deal. Just simple curiosity. Nothing more, nothing less. He followed Woosung across the gym, picking them out immediately by Hanbin’s little sister. Hanbin’s parents noticed Woosung as they got close and Taeyong watched their faces, curious if they were really going to be welcoming. This was their son’s ex boyfriend. What was he expecting by saying hi?

Hanbin’s mother stood up as they approached, bright smile directed at Woosung. “Well now, here’s a face I haven’t seen in a long time!” Taeyong watched in surprise as she gave Woosung a hug. “Hanbin said you might be coming today, it’s nice to see you again.”

Woosung smiled back at her, because the hug meant more to him than he wanted to admit. “Thanks, Mrs. Kim! You’re still looking as beautiful as ever!”

She shook her head at him but smiled anyway. “Still giving out unnecessary flattery.”

“It’s true!” Woosung replied, looking at Hanbin’s dad. “Mr. Kim, you’re a lucky man.”

“How come you always compliment my wife when you see her, but you never compliment me?” He shook his head at the greeting, grinning when his wife laughed at him.

“Don’t be jealous! I might not have married you for your looks, but you’re beautiful to me anyway.” She , before looking down at her daughter. “Do you remember who this is?”

Hanbyul looked from her mother to Woosung and back again. She tugged on her mother’s arm until she leaned down close enough for Hanbyul to try and whisper. They all heard her question. “Does Bobby oppa know he’s here?”

They all tried not to laugh, but Taeyong was stunned at the little girl’s question. She was so young. Did she already know who Woosung and Bobby were to her brother?

Woosung crouched down and smiled at her. “Of course he knows I’m here, Byul-ie! Your brother invited me.”

Hanbyul looked confused for a moment, before accepting his answer. “Okay.”

Woosung grinned at her. “Don’t I get a hug? It’s been a long time!”

She smiled shyly at him before creeping forward to quickly hug him, darting back to her father’s lap afterwards. Woosung couldn’t stop smiling, amazed at how much bigger she’d gotten in a year.

“So, how’ve you been? How’s your last year going?” Mrs. Kim asked.

“It’s going good, I mean, good for school. I started rapping a few months ago. You know, going to some open mic nights. I’ve gotten pretty good, I actually have a bit of a following now.” Woosung had missed Hanbin’s parents a lot after the breakup, almost more than he’d missed Hanbin. It was hard to talk to his own parents, not just because of their treatment of his ual preferences (they tried to be supportive, but he knew they wished he was straight) but also because they never seemed to take much interest in things that he enjoyed. But Hanbin’s parents had always spoken to him and made him feel like his opinion mattered, like he wasn’t just some dumb teenager who didn’t know anything.

She nodded back at him. “Hanbin mentioned that, I’m really happy it’s going well for you.”

“Where are you performing?” Hanbin’s dad asked.

“Right now it’s weekly, a club in Itaewon called Harlem.” Woosung replied, elated they were asking.

“Well, I don’t want to make it sound uncool, but we’ve been there a few times for some shows. It’s a nice little venue, very intimate, the sound’s great.”

Woosung grinned back at him. “It’s okay Mr. Kim, you might be an old guy, but I promise you’re a cool old guy.” Mrs. Kim laughed and Mr. Kim frowned and shook his head.

“Thanks, I think,” he replied, breaking into a grin.

His wife leaned forward and pecked a kiss to his cheek. “You old man.”

“Are you talking my dad again?”

Woosung spun around, grinning at Hanbin’s sudden arrival before turning back to face his father. “I’ve never talked you Mr. Kim, your son’s a liar.”

“Oh don’t worry, I am well aware of that.” Mr. Kim looked at Hanbin, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

Hanbin grinned at his father. “I resent this conversation.”

“Hey, don’t forget that I knocked you out once. Don’t make me do it again.” He teased, grinning at his son.

Hanbin looked at him in mock outrage. “I can’t believe you brag about that!”

“Are you kidding? I’m an icon in the cool dad community.”

Taeyong watched them in utter confusion. He’d never seen anyone joke around so casually with their parents before. He’d have been disowned even sooner if he’d ever spoken so flippantly to his father. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it. It almost felt like he wasn’t even talking to his parents. Their relationship seemed to verge more on a weird sort of friendship. Which was such an alien concept to him. None of his friends were friendly with their parents. He looked at Hanbin’s mother then, noticing that she was staring at him. Oh god, this was it, wasn’t it?

“Woosung, you haven’t introduced us to your friend,” she called out, smiling between them.

Woosung looked a little flustered, reaching back and grabbing Taeyong’s arm and pulling him forward. “Right, sorry! Didn’t mean to be rude.”

“New boyfriend?” Hanbin’s father asked, and Taeyong’s face went beet red and he looked at the floor, grateful when Woosung immediately answered.

“No, nothing like that. We’re just friends.”

“You look familiar,” Hanbin’s mom replied, “I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

Hanbin’s dad suddenly turned to her. “The basketball rival!” He looked back at them. “Taeyong, wasn’t it? Hanbin said you’d switched schools this year.”

Taeyong nodded, surprised they recognized him. They had to hate him though, given how much Hanbin had hated him. He’d injured him two seasons ago, after all. Even if Hanbin had changed his tune, parents never did. They were probably just being polite to his face.

But if they were, well, Hanbin’s mother was really good at faking politeness.

“I look forward to seeing the two of you on the court together this year, you’re both so talented. I’m sure you’ll set a ton of new records together.” She smiled at him, amused at his deer-in-the-headlights expression.

Taeyong just stared back at her, confused and uncertain about what he was supposed to say in return. Maybe she didn’t actually remember who he was?

“Don’t mind Taeyong,” Woosung cut in, “he’s all quiet because he probably wasn’t expecting you to be so nice to him.”

Taeyoung could have murdered him. Instead he turned back to Hanbin’s parents and bowed awkwardly. It was even more awkward with Hanbin there. “I’m sorry for appearing rude. I really hadn’t expected you to recognize me.”

Mrs. Kim waved it off again. “Don’t be like that, meeting family is always awkward at first, even more so when it’s an old rivalry. But you’re on our team now, Taeyong, so you’re a friend.”

They were interrupted by Hanbyul’s sudden reaction, standing up and smiling widely. “Bobby oppa!” She ran towards him, laughing when he leaned down to pick her up. Taeyong watched it with a nervous feeling. He glanced back at Hanbin’s mom, who was smiling warmly at the sight of them together. Was she faking it again?

But Bobby walked right up to Hanbin and kissed him on the cheek, right there in front of Hanbin’s parents, Hanbyul still in his arms. Taeyong couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Bobby had kissed their son right in front of them, in front of everyone, and Hanbin’s parents…

Had done nothing. There was no reaction aside from greeting him themselves. There was no angry look, no cold shoulder, nothing. They greeted Bobby with as much affection as they’d spoken to Hanbin. Like Bobby was one of their own. They didn’t care that their young daughter was clinging to him, their son’s boyfriend.

Taeyong had never experienced something like that before, had never witnessed parents who were so openly supportive of their son’s gay relationship. It was something he knew he would never have. His parents wouldn’t even be that supportive if he brought a girl home. Nothing would ever be good enough for them. He’d always be struggling to make them happy.

It wasn’t fair that Hanbin had all of this. He had everything, every avenue of support he could possibly think of. It pissed Taeyong off. Not just his family, but he watched as Bobby greeted Woosung like they were old friends. He didn’t care that his boyfriend’s ex boyfriend was here, interacting with Hanbin’s family. None of this was normal.

A few more guys showed up just then, and Taeyong recognized two of them from school. There was Donghyuk, who was also in boxing gear, who was holding the hand of some guy next to him. Junhoe, Hanbin’s best friend, was also standing with his arm around some guy that had to be his boyfriend. They were all so open and brazen about it, and Taeyong had never been in the same vicinity as so many gay guys at once. It actually made him feel awkward.

Was everyone staring at them? Judging them? Tracking who they were to attack them in the halls later?

He looked around quickly, eyes darting around the room. He wanted to distance himself from the group before anyone thought he was a part of it. Well, he was, but no one knew that yet. He didn’t want anyone to find out.

Woosung looked at Taeyong after making his greetings, noticing how uncomfortable he seemed. He’d known there was no way Taeyong would want to hang out with them, but he’d still been holding to a tiny bit of hope. Oh well. Best not to push it. “Listen, it was good to see you guys again, Taeyong and I are going to go and grab some seats, but we’ll see you later, okay?” Woosung waved his goodbyes, and calmly led Taeyong away, over to a slightly more deserted area of the stands.

“You okay? That was a little much, wasn’t it?” Woosung asked as they sat down in the upper corner.

Taeyong couldn’t take his eyes off the group. Bobby was sitting down next to Hanbin’s dad, Hanbyul sitting on his lap and Hanbin sitting in front of him, leaning back against him. So obvious and unapologetic. At a boxing tournament. Was he crazy?

“His parents really don’t care, do they?” Taeyong asked, and he didn’t bother clarifying because Woosung would know what he meant.

“Not one bit. When I was dating Hanbin they were just like that with me. His parents are super inviting, I was always really jealous of him because of that. I’d have killed for my parents to be even half as supportive as his parents are.”

“And his little sister knows. They actually told a little kid.” That part blew Taeyong’s mind the most. A five year old knew that her brother was gay. She knew that he had a boyfriend, and from what he’d seen she clearly adored Bobby.

Woosung sighed and watched them too, fighting off the longing to go and belong to that particular group again. “Yeah, they taught her early on that being gay is just another way of life, that it’s normal. My parents were never like that, they still have a problem with it. Nothing like your dad, they’d never kick me out, and they try to be supportive. But I know they’d do anything to make me straight. They hated it when I brought Hanbin around, they weren’t mean, but they barely acknowledged him no matter how nice he was to them.” That was why Woosung had spent more time at Hanbin’s than Hanbin had ever spent at his place.

“My dad would have thrown me out into the street with nothing if he’d caught me at home with a guy,” Taeyong said, “and his just sit there and happily watch him and Bobby. Like, it makes his mom smile.” The more he watched, the angrier it made him. Why did Hanbin get everything, while he’d gotten disowned by his parents, forced into therapy? Why couldn’t he have support too?

“Makes you hate him, doesn’t it?” Woosung said, looking at Taeyong out of the corner of his eye. “I was so jealous of him when we dated, about everything. Everything I could ever want, he had. I always felt so overshadowed by him, like I wasn’t good enough for him. It’s part of the reason why we broke up.” Woosung wasn’t sure why he was admitting it now, wasn’t sure how Taeyong would take it. He’d never really talked about it with anyone, about his actual feelings.

Taeyong looked back at Woosung, curious about the comment. “Well, his parents seemed really happy to see you.”

“Yeah, well, they’re really nice. They go out of their way to make everyone feel welcome.”

Taeyong looked back at them. “I thought for sure they’d hate me when they realized who I was. I’m still not sure they actually remember me.”

Woosung grinned, and he understood exactly what Taeyong meant. “When you trashed Hanbin’s ankle.”

Taeyong nodded. “Yeah, that accident. I thought for sure they’d give me the cold shoulder or something. I injured their son, isn’t that grounds for being hated by the parents for life?”

“Not Hanbin’s parents,” Woosung replied, “their idea of being protective is probably making sure he has condoms before he goes out with Bobby.”

Taeyong blushed at the comment, still awkward in talking about . But he was also a little curious. “Did you and Hanbin ever…” He couldn’t say it, but Woosung knew.

“No, honestly he was kind of a prude when we were dating. Which didn’t help me to feel like I was good enough. Don’t tell him I said that, by the way.”

“I can’t see how it would possibly come up in conversation,” Taeyong replied, shaking his head. He couldn’t stop watching Hanbin’s family, and his friends. Because Hanbin’s parents seemed to be quite doting on all of them, even his sister seemed to like them all. Watching it made him angry, and it made him jealous, but it also made him inexplicably hopeful.

Maybe, one day, he might work up the nerve to sit down there too.
 

“Since you’re a rapper now, I think you should freestyle something for Hanbin before his match,” Jinhwan teased, nudging Bobby.

“Ah shut up, I’m not good enough for that yet,” Bobby replied, shaking his head and glaring playfully at Jinhwan.

“Oh come on! Show him you care,” Jinhwan needled further.

“If you need pointers, hyung, you can always go and ask Woosung,” Junhoe added, grinning when Hanbin glared at him. “He used to freestyle for Hanbin all the time.”

Hanbin’s eyes were up in the corner, where Woosung and Taeyong were sitting. He was still surprised that Woosung had dragged Taeyong out, but he was grateful and happy about it. He thought the introduction had gone well. Maybe by the end of the day, Woosung might convince Taeyong to join them. But he knew he couldn’t ask. He had to let this happen at it’s own pace.

For now he looked back at Junhoe. “Would you shut up and mind your own business?”

Bobby grinned and looked between the two of them. “Did he really used to freestyle for you?” He thought it was cute. Woosung was an excellent lyricist from what he’d heard so far of him. He wouldn’t be surprised.

Hanbin looked at Bobby and nodded. “Yeah, before every match. He’d do a new version of that old LL Cool J track,” Hanbin explained, smiling when Bobby’s face scrunched up in a laugh.

“Mama Said Knock You Out?” Bobby confirmed, laughing at the idea.

Hanbin leaned into Bobby’s legs, happy he wasn’t bothered by the continued references to Woosung. It was such a far cry from where Bobby had been when they’d first started dating. “Yeah, that one. Honestly I wish we’d recorded some of them, they were pretty funny.”

“I can imagine, he’s got great delivery, I’m amazed at some of the wordplay he does. Like some people are just made for freestyling, and he’s definitely one of them.” Bobby replied, not at all bothered by the conversation. He knew his own strengths and weaknesses, and wasn’t afraid to admit them.

“Wow Bobby, who are you?” Jinhwan said teasingly. “Talking up the ex boyfriend? I love a good character development!”

“Well you don’t seem to have grown much, hyung, so I guess Bobby had to do it for the both of you,” Hanbin shot back, winking at Jinhwan.

“Don’t be upset, hyung, Hanbin didn’t grow at all and I did more growing than anyone, so I think as couples we’re even.” Junhoe replied teasingly, reaching out to pinch Jinhwan’s cheek, only for Jinhwan to slap his hand away.

“Listen, you brat, don’t abuse me.”

Junhoe shook his head, looking at Hanbin. “I try to be cute and affectionate, and this is what I get in return.”

Hanbin grinned back at him. “That’s fate telling you not to be a fake,” Hanbin replied, “cute and affectionate are like, the last terms I’d think of when describing you.”

Junhoe laughed at the comment, reaching out for Jinhwan’s cheek again, in a playful mood. Jinhwan held his hand this time, just to keep it occupied. And maybe also just because it was nice, holding his hand out in public. The more time passed, the more Junhoe kept surprising him.
 

“Well, be careful and try not to get hit too hard,” Yunhyeong said, and he was sure it sounded dumb, but he had no experience with boxers. He had no idea what he was supposed to be saying. He looked at Donghyuk’s face, blushing when he saw him grinning. “Oh shut up, don’t make fun of me, I’m worried about you.”

“No, it’s cute!” Donghyuk replied, Yunhyeong’s flustered reaction making his heart swell in affection, “I’ll do well knowing that you’re here cheering for me.”

Yunhyeong smiled and rested his hand on Donghyuk’s arm. “I’d say make me proud, but I’m already proud to be your boyfriend.”

Donghyuk bit the inside of his cheek to try and keep himself together. How could he possibly doubt Yunhyeong’s feelings when he said such sweet things? “Thank you, but I’ll still fight hard to make you even more proud.” He gave him a last smile before turning and following Hanbin down to their coach.

Yunhyeong went back to sit down in between Bobby and Jinhwan.

“Did you give him a cute pep talk?” Jinhwan teased.

“You could say that,” Yunhyeong replied, blushing a little when he thought about what he’d just said to his boyfriend. The words came out so easily in front of him, but they were a little embarrassing to think about after the fact. As long as they made Donghyuk happy, though, he’d keep saying them.

“I’m sure he’ll do well, so don’t worry about him.” Jinhwan replied.

“Bobby, have you watched Hanbin box before?” Yunhyeong asked.

“Yeah, a few times last year.”

“How did you deal with it? Were you worried?” Yunhyeong’s been worried ever since he found out Donghyuk would be competing.

Bobby shrugged. “Honestly, not really? I know Hanbin’s good, he always does well. I think his confidence before fights rubs off on me, you know? Like he expects to wipe the floor with everyone, so I expect him to as well.” He looked at Yunhyeong, smiling when he saw the expression of concern on his face. “Are you worried about Donghyuk?”

Yunhyeong was a little surprised by Bobby’s flippant attitude towards the dangers. “Of course I’m worried. He’s taking punches to the head, what if he gets hurt?”

Bobby shrugged, because he didn’t like playing the what if game. “Well, sure, but everything’s dangerous. He could get hit by a car when he’s walking down the road. You can’t worry about everything, so instead I worry about nothing. If something bad happens, it’ll happen. There’s no point in getting stressed out about it.”

Yunhyeong frowned, wondering if he was just being overprotective. “I don’t want him to get hurt. I guess it’s kind of stupid, I mean, he’s into boxing, and I can barely make myself go for a run. But I still feel like I want to protect him.” He waited for them to make fun of him.

“That’s just you being old fashioned!” Junhoe teased, “you want to be the manly man, but you know you’re not.”

Yunhyeong glared at him. “Shut up, Junhoe! I wasn’t asking you.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Jinhwan interrupted, “it means that you care about him. And you’re older, so you feel responsible. It’s only normal, so don’t say it’s dumb.”

Junhoe looked at Jinhwan in surprise. “You’re older than me, but you certainly aren’t protective.”

Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Not to you, but that’s because you need a beating every now and then.”

“Do you ever feel protective of Hanbin?” Yunhyeong asked Bobby.

Bobby nodded. “In a way, sure. Even though I know he can stick up for himself, and he’d probably do a better job protecting me than I’d do protecting me. But he’s younger than me, and I love him, so yeah, I do feel protective sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Bobby smiled, and he thought it was cute that Yunhyeong was feeling so protective of Donghyuk. Donghyuk seemed like the type who’d enjoy that behaviour.

Yunhyeong felt better after hearing his answer. He looked down at the ring, where Donghyuk was having his gloves inspected by the official. It was weird, watching him about to fight someone. But Bobby was right. He didn’t have to feel bad about not wanting him to fight. It was normal to want to protect the people you care about.

And there wasn’t anyone he cared about more than Donghyuk, except maybe his family. It made him feel better when he thought about it. He just wanted Donghyuk to be safe and happy. He couldn’t be wrong for wanting that.
 

“I don’t really have anything to talk to you about, I just needed to get out of the gym for a bit,” Jinhwan admitted, grinning and pulling Junhoe over to sit on a nearby bench.

“I figured as much,” Junhoe replied, “I don’t mind the fresh air.” They sat down next to each other and without thinking about it, Junhoe put his arm around Jinhwan’s shoulders, and Jinhwan leaned in against him.

Junhoe glanced down at him, suddenly thinking about their earlier conversation. “Hey, hyung? Do you really never feel protective towards me?” Junhoe asked, and it’s not that he was bothered, because the idea of someone wanting to protect him was ludicrous (even if that someone could effectively kick his ).

“That was a lie,” Jinhwan replied, his hand spreading over Junhoe’s thigh, “I feel protective of you all the time, actually, just not in the same way that I think Yunhyeong does with Donghyuk.”

“Really?” The answer surprised Junhoe, but he was happy to hear it.

Jinhwan smiled at him and squeezed his thigh. “Yeah. The more I get to know you, past your tough exterior you have a really soft and sweet heart. You’re like a yappy little puppy that I accidentally kicked once.”

Junhoe couldn’t help but laugh at the comparison. “Well, if I was a puppy, I was probably trying to bite your feet so you can’t really be blamed.”

Jinhwan grinned and looked up into his face, smiling before placing a kiss on his cheek. “I guess not, but still. I like seeing you happy. It’s a good look on you.”

Junhoe almost felt embarrassed at how good the words made him feel. He tried to focus on the moment, tried not to think about their coming separation. How was he going to survive when Jinhwan left?

“Don’t think about that,” Jinhwan suddenly said, like he knew.

“About what?” Junhoe replied, even though he knew exactly what Jinhwan meant.

“You know what. Your expression changed suddenly, got all mopey. Didn’t we agree not to worry about that until it happens?” Jinhwan asked, even though he’d been thinking about it too. He was just better at masking his expressions.

“Sorry,” Junhoe replied, “I couldn’t help it. But you’re right, we’re not supposed to think about that because it won’t help. So, distract me?”

Jinhwan grinned at his request, looking around the yard to see if anyone was there. But they were alone, so he turned back to Junhoe and took his face in his hands, pulling him into a kiss. It was a beautiful day, they were having fun with their friends, and they were kissing openly in public. They shouldn’t have any room left in their hearts for future sorrows.
 

“I can’t believe you made me sit here all day just to watch him win,” Taeyong grumbled, watching Hanbin receive a trophy.

“Yeah, should have left before the final,” Woosung teased, but in reality he was pleased they’d stuck around. He’d expected Taeyong to want to leave earlier, so the fact that he’d hung out until the end was huge. And sure, he was complaining, but he didn’t sound like he was angry.

“He is really good, though, I’m still surprised about that,” Taeyong said, annoyed that Hanbin had another layer to his perfect life. But there was no point in being mad about it. Clearly he’d trained hard. Not that Taeyong was all that knowledgeable about boxing, but it hadn’t just looked like a lucky fight. It had looked like a systematic beat down. It had been impressive. Not that he was happy about being impressed by Hanbin!

“Yeah, I remember the first time I watched him fight. Blew me away, he was so much better. Of course it made me super insecure, but that’s life.” He grew from the experience, and found his own thing. So in the end it all worked out.

“Kinda surprised Donghyuk did that good too,” Taeyong ventured, “I thought he was just a nerdy top student.”

Woosung laughed at the comment, but actually agreed with it. “Yeah, I don’t really know him, since he just came last year. But he does have that smart nerd status, then again so does Hanbin. They make pretty scary friends.”

Taeyong couldn’t help the weird feeling building in his brain. Yes, they were scary friends. At least to people who had nothing of their own to be proud of. But he was scary too, wasn’t he? He was just as good as Hanbin at basketball, just as smart, and sure, maybe he didn’t box, but he probably could, if he wanted to.

“Let’s go down and congratulate him and say goodbye, okay?” Woosung asked, hoping Taeyong wasn’t going to say no. The fact that he’d stayed this long had to count for something.

Taeyong frowned and debated his options, feeling weirdly divided. Half of his brain wanted to go and offer praise, wanted to be met with the friendly smiles of Hanbin’s parents again. But the other half wanted to leave without a word, wanted to take a baseball bat and smash windows in. Because it wasn’t fair, not at all. How could one person have so much going for them? How could one person be so happy, when he had so much to be miserable about?

“Yeah fine, let’s go.” He picked the positive thoughts, and it was kind of weird, the way his entire body seemed to relax with his decision. Like he’d been tightly strung while watching from the outside, and now that he was letting himself in a little, he was loosening up. He followed Woosung down to where Hanbin’s family and friends were, feeling fidgety. This whole pseudo-politeness was easy to contemplate from afar, but difficult to accept from up close. He was still blocked by years of being frustrated at his own situation.

“Can’t believe they gave you another trophy,” Woosung said by way of greeting, shaking his head as he approached Hanbin.

“Right? How many is this now?” Hanbin joked, pleased they’d come back. He couldn’t believe Taeyong had agreed to stay, but he wasn’t going to make a big deal of it. Wouldn’t even say anything unless Taeyong brought it up first.

“Too many,” his father piped up, grabbing the trophy out of his son’s hands, “we have no room for it at home so I’m going to take it to work with me, display it on my desk. Make sure everyone knows that my kid could kick their .”

The proud comment drove a sharp knife right in between Taeyong’s ribs, piercing him in the side. He wanted that more than anything, a father who was proud of him. Who wanted to tell his acquaintances about him. At least Hanbin appreciated it. That was the only thing keeping him there at the moment. He had so much, but he didn’t take it for granted.

At that moment Taeyong looked down and noticed that Hanbin’s sister had made her way over to him, standing in front of him and looking up. Kids made him nervous, and he looked down at her in half fear, half awkwardness. Her eyes were locked onto his, to the extent that he couldn’t look away. What did she want? Why was she staring at him?

She looked back at her mother, who smiled at her and nodded, and that made Taeyong nervous too. What was she doing?!

“Oppa,” Hanbyul said with a slightly shaky voice, “your hair is so pretty.”

Unexpected. “Uh, thank you.” He stared at her with wide eyes, still confused.

“Can I please touch it?” She asked, and the look on her face had him kneeling down immediately, like he was under some kind of mind control. Oh god he was letting some five year old kid touch his hair! What was he doing?! He was frozen in the moment, his body stiff, like she wasn’t a tiny kid but instead some fierce beast that could rip him to shreds. Her hand softly petted his hair, and he wished the floor would just swallow him whole.

“Ah, Hanbyul! Leave him alone,” Hanbin scolded his sister, mostly to keep himself from laughing. He picked her up and shook his head at her, hoping it hadn’t scarred Taeyong.

“Can I have silver hair, oppa? Please?” Hanbyul whined to her brother, face drawn long, sighing hopefully.

“Uh, mom?” Hanbin called, looking back at his mother, certain she wasn’t about to let Hanbyul bleach her hair.

“Oh no, honey, you have to keep your hair the way it is,” their mother replied, coming closer, sensing an impending meltdown.

“Why? He has silver hair! I want silver hair too!” Hanbyul wailed, sniffling and looking back at Taeyong, who looked mortified.

Oh no. Oh no he was not going to be responsible for some little kid screaming! It wasn’t even his fault! He met her eyes and blurted out the first thing he could think to dissuade her.

“It’s really painful!” He said, and a second later he was stunned that he’d actually said anything. He didn’t know the first thing about kids, why was he saying anything?! He should just leave.

Hanbyul’s face dropped in shock. “How painful?” She asked in a hushed voice.

Oh , there was no getting out of this now, was there? He looked from Hanbyul to Hanbin, annoyed when he saw the amused expression on Hanbin’s face. Oh, this was bull. He looked back at Hanbyul. “Very painful. One of the most painful things I’ve ever done.”

Hanbyul’s expression turned to one of near reverence. “Wow. You must be so strong.”

Behind them the others attempted to cover up their laughter with coughs, a failed attempt. Even Mr. Kim was laughing, watching them trying to deflect the situation. Taeyong felt mortified on all fronts. But Hanbyul continued to gaze at him with starry eyes, and Taeyong nodded curtly back at her. “Well, I’m used to it.”

Finally Mrs. Kim came to them, patting her daughter’s back. “You hear that? No silver hair for you, or any other colour.” Hanbyul nodded, eyes flitting between them. Mrs. Kim turned to Taeyong then, a look of sympathy on her face.

“I am so sorry,” she whispered to him, “you did good though, thank you.”

Taeyong couldn’t help but smile at her. When was the last time he’d ever heard a parental figure tell him he’d done good? When was the last time either of his parents had ever said thank you to him? He wasn’t sure if they ever had. It was overwhelming. 

“Uh, you’re welcome.” He wished he could laugh it off like it was no big deal, but it was a big deal. He could feel it in his chest, the longing for such positive support. He deserved it, didn’t he? He deserved to be told he’d done well. He wasn’t wrong to want that.

“Do you guys want to join us for dinner?” She asked, looking between Taeyong and Woosung, not bothering to ask any of the others. It was that mothering instinct activated, that ability to pick out the people who needed support the most.

Taeyong shook his head, slightly panicked. He wasn’t ready for that. “Um I have to go eat with my grandmother,” he lied, “I’m sorry.”

She just smiled warmly back at him. “Well, next time, then! Woosung?”

Woosung shook his head too, even though he badly wanted to. But Taeyong was clearly panicking over what had just happened, and he didn’t want to leave him on his own. “No thanks, Mrs. Kim. Definitely next time, though. It was good seeing you guys again, but we should get going.”

“Alright, well, don’t be strangers!” She called to them, waving them off as they left before turning to Hanbin, who was shaking his head at her.

“I don’t need a step-brother, mom,” he , grinning when she swatted his arm.

“Oh be quiet! That poor boy looks like he’s starved for parental affection, a mother can always tell.”

Hanbin looked at his father with narrowed eyes, thinking back to the conversation they’d had last year. He’d never told his mother about what he’d overheard from Taeyong’s father. But his father knew what he was thinking, and he shook his head at him, mouthing ‘I never told her’ in his direction.

He didn’t think about it for much longer, though, not when Bobby came up behind him and put an arm around his shoulder, kissing his cheek. He put Hanbyul back down on the floor and put his arm around Bobby’s back, and the nine of them left together, heading out for a celebratory dinner courtesy of Hanbin’s parents.

Hanbin and Bobby walked behind the others, arms still wrapped around each other. It was nice that they could do this, the six of them, walk in a group, obvious in their affections. Because people might be willing to harass them if they were only two, but six guys tended to be enough to make even the most bigoted s keep to themselves.

He turned his head slightly to look at Bobby, and he got that same warm feeling in his chest, like he was happier than he could possibly ever remember. Bobby glanced at him, like he could feel the gaze on him.

“What?” Bobby asked with a grin, his arm tightening around Hanbin’s shoulders.

“Nothing,” Hanbin replied, but changed his mind a second later, “actually, I really want to say thanks, for today.”

Bobby’s expression turned to confusion. “For what? I didn’t do anything.”

“On the contrary, you did a lot,” Hanbin replied. “You’ve been really nice to Woosung, when a lot of guys would be awkward since we dated. But you’re really friendly, and you even praise him without any prompting. And you’re good to Hanbyul, all the time, and to my parents. I never have to worry about anything when you’re around.”

Bobby didn’t think any of those things required thanks, but all the same it was nice to hear Hanbin acknowledge them. And really, when he thought about it, they were all things he never would have done with any other guy he’d dated. So maybe it was worth at least a bit of praise.

“Well, you’re welcome, then,” Bobby replied, kissing Hanbin’s cheek, “I’m happy if you’re happy.”

Hanbin nuzzled the side of Bobby’s neck for a few steps, kissing him under his ear. “I’m always happy, so I guess we’re just good for each other.”

“I guess we are,” Bobby agreed, and he noticed the others stop just outside the restaurant they’d be eating at, so he stopped Hanbin in his tracks. They stood face to face, and Bobby got the distinct feeling like they’d stepped into some dumb movie, and he was about to say some disgustingly romantic thing that would make Hanbin smile, and if he were watching it, he’d be ready to throw up and complain.

But moments like these were different when you were actually living them, instead of just watching them. They weren’t quite as gross when the feelings were your own.

Hanbin looked at him expectantly, like he knew there was something he wanted to say. Bobby just stared at him for a second before leaning down and hovering just over his lips.

“I love you, Bin,” he said before he kissed him, and Hanbin’s smile was worth every bit of teasing he’d get from anyone else who might see them like this.