"It's just me and you tonight
  Why don't you figure my heart out"
                                   "Heart Out" The 1975

“I can’t believe you’re going for Diaz,” Junhoe complained, “it’s my birthday, you should be cheering for McGregor.”

“Sorry babe, you know it pains me because I don’t even like Diaz, hell I can’t stand either of them, but he’s got his black belt now from Cesar Gracie, and he’s upped his boxing skills. What’s McGregor done aside from run his mouth?”

Junhoe wasn’t sure if Jinhwan was being serious. “He’s destroying everyone he gets in the ring with!”

Jinhwan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and he’s been a cocky about it.”

“I can’t believe YOU are hating on someone for being a cocky in victory,” Junhoe replied, sitting back in his chair and shaking his head.

Jinhwan grinned at the comparison. “I’m young! And not a professional! I’ve learned the error of my ways, I’m not cocky anymore.”

“Only cause you’re a brown belt now and you’re getting your kicked.” Junhoe teased, grinning when Jinhwan looked at him in shock.

“Let me know when you want a rematch, I’ll still kick your .” Jinhwan teased back.

“Unlikely,” Junhoe replied, “I have intimate knowledge of how you fight now, I know all your tells.”

“Please, even though I outclass you on the mat, all I’d have to do is accidentally grab your and you’d too distracted to fight me.” Jinhwan smiled teasingly at Junhoe, who glared at him.

“Dirty tactics, I wouldn’t put that beyond you!”

“Don’t worry though, just like your boy McGregor is so fond of saying, I’ll still eat you alive when it’s over.” Jinhwan reached out and squeezed his thigh, and Junhoe wanted to curse his own body but it actually got him hard.

“ off and eat your chicken,” Junhoe replied, grabbing a piece out of the basket.

Jinhwan grinned in victory and kept his hand where it was on Junhoe’s thigh, not pushing any further only because they were out in public. They were currently at a sports bar, sharing a basket of fried chicken and watching the UFC pay per view. It was Junhoe’s birthday, and when Jinhwan had asked him what he wanted, he’d been surprised when this had been Junhoe’s request. He said he didn’t really want a physical present. He just wanted to spend the day together and watch some mixed martial arts.

Jinhwan had still gotten him a gift anyway—a Connor McGregor shirt that he was going to give him after the last fight (regardless of whether or not McGregor won). Otherwise he’d just agreed to pay for everything today.

He’d probably let Junhoe him later too, if they managed to get some time alone somewhere private.

“Did you hear the dumb McGregor said at the press conference?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Junhoe glared at him.

“You’re going to repeat it anyway, right?” Junhoe replied before taking another bite of chicken.

Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Sure am! That comparison to Vincent Van Gogh?” Jinhwan rolled his eyes before continuing. “ He dedicated his life to his art and lost his mind in the process, that’s what happened to me. What kind of thing to say was that?”

Junhoe shook his head in irritation. “It’s actually a cool line!”

“Oh my god, you’re falling for his bull! I’m so embarrassed for you.” Jinhwan teased, elbowing him in the ribs.

“It’s a testament to how much of himself he puts into his craft!” Junhoe countered.

Jinhwan gave him an incredulous look. “It’s edgy bull.”

“Do you have to sit there and diss my favourite fighter on my birthday?” Junhoe grumbled back at him.

“Yes.” Jinhwan replied with a smirk, before blowing him a kiss.

“Say what you want, hyung, I like McGregor’s confidence.”

Jinhwan sighed. “He said his ideal opponent is himself, and that he wants to replace the banner hanging on the side of the MGM Grand of Floyd Mayweather with his own banner. That’s not confidence, that’s straight up cockiness.”

“Reminds me of you when we first met,” Junhoe countered.

Jinhwan grinned at him. “We’ve already been over this! I was young and impressionable, and that me would have probably loved McGregor’s talking. But I have become wiser over the past year—”

“Because you got your kicked—”

“Because I got my kicked, yes. I was made humble in my defeat. I saw the error of my ways.” He hadn’t really seen anything—Jinhwan still had a cocky side to him a mile wide, but it was fun to pretend otherwise.

Junhoe grinned at him and grabbed another piece of chicken. “You’d better stay humble when you get to LA, hyung. You’ll be alone and friendless, surrounded by guys who could ruin you.”

“I’ll be okay, I’ll do all my talking in Korean when I’m at BJJ class, no one will know.” Jinhwan replied, making Junhoe laugh. He watched him for a moment, fond of the way Junhoe’s face crinkled up when he laughed. It was cute. They watched the Anderson-Lawlor fight next, putting aside the talking of earlier to assess the fight. Jinhwan loved being able to talk about the details with Junhoe, loved knowing that he was watching with someone who knew what they were talking about. Before Junhoe, he’d watched the fights with Bobby, who didn’t really know anything, and occasionally he’d get lucky and Jiun would join them.

But it was nice to be out in public watching with Junhoe, sharing food and being a little affectionate in the process. When they finished their chicken Junhoe sat back in his chair and put his arm on the back of Jinhwan’s chair, and Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin at the gesture.

When it was finally time for the main event Jinhwan started his talking again, grinning when Junhoe glared at him. He knew Junhoe wasn’t really angry, though. Junhoe enjoyed their arguments, loved bickering back and forth.

“So how do you think McGregor’s gonna lose the fight?” Jinhwan asked.

“Nice try, but he’s going to win it by knockout, the same thing he did to Aldo back in December.”

Jinhwan shook his head. “Not happening. Diaz can take knocks better than Aldo, and really, McGregor’s lighter anyway, how much did he have to put on to move up weight classes? Wonder if that’ll make him sluggish.”

Junhoe waved the question off. “No chance, not with his training. He’ll be fine at welterweight.”

“I don’t think so. Diaz will out power him.”

“Ugh, god hyung, I can’t believe the coming out of your mouth. Do you even know what you’re saying? It doesn’t matter about the size, McGregor could anyone up. Diaz doesn’t have the skill that McGregor’s got.”

“He never used to,” Jinhwan replied, “but I’m telling you, he’s been training hard. I think we’ll see a different Diaz tonight, and then you’ll be crying into your chicken bones.”

“No chance. Hope you enjoy your talking while you can.” Junhoe replied, excited for the fight and happy they’d come out to watch it. There was something about watching with a group of people that just made it more fun.

They watched highlights of the pre-match press conference and Jinhwan laughed at McGregor’s over the top theatrics.

“Oh I forgot about that line!” Jinhwan said. “I’m going to toy with the young boy. I’m going to play with him. Sounds like something I’d have said about you last year.”

Junhoe laughed, because it really was something Jinhwan would have said. “Guess you and McGregor have more in common than you think.”

“Yeah,” Jinhwan leaned in closer so he could speak directly into Junhoe’s ear, “you worship the both of us.” He couldn’t help but , grinning when Junhoe shook his head.

“Ah, you’re such an idiot, hyung.” He said it with a smile on his face, though, and a second later he turned his head to plant a quick kiss on Jinhwan’s cheek. They watched the match and traded comments, Junhoe screaming in Jinhwan’s ear when McGregor cut Diaz above the eye in the first round. Jinhwan took it with a smile, shaking his head at Junhoe’s outburst.

“Ah, hyung, first round is obviously McGregor’s!” Junhoe said as he sat back after the bell, looking pleased with himself.

Jinhwan wished they had more chicken left so he could shove a piece in Junhoe’s mouth. “Yeah, sure, but Diaz can take hits. I’m not worried.”

“You should be,” Junhoe replied, “we should have bet on the fight.”

“We still can if you want.” Jinhwan said.

“Ah, it would feel like I’m cheating, hyung. There’s no way Diaz is getting out of this. No chance! He’s going to be victim number seventeen in a few minutes!” Junhoe crowed, excited after the intense first round.

“We’ll see.” The second round got underway and while things started out well for Junhoe, soon enough it was Jinhwan gripping Junhoe’s arm tightly, yelling in his ear. “Did you see that left? Did you see how rocked McGregor was? I told you! He can’t take hits as well.”

“He’s fine—”

“He’s stumbling! Your boy is going down!” Jinhwan was happy to pay Junhoe back for the loud first round, yelling in his ear when Diaz took McGregor down and mounted, pummeling his face with blows.

Junhoe watched in disbelief, frowning at the screen and hoping for a reversal. It looked bad, though, as much as he hated to admit it. It looked really bad.

“Oh my god he’s going for it, he’s going for the choke, oh my god Junhoe this is it, this is it!” Jinhwan stood up, leaning on Junhoe’s back and screaming in his ear as Diaz locked in the rear choke, yelling in victory when McGregor tapped out.

Junhoe sat with a stunned look on his face, in disbelief at what he was seeing. Submitted… The worst way to go out in his opinion.

Jinhwan was happy that McGregor had lost, but was sad Junhoe’s pick hadn’t won. He probably should have given him his present before the match, he hoped Junhoe wouldn’t think he was rubbing it in if he gave it to him now.

“Hey, babe?” Jinhwan said, sitting back down and leaning in close to him while the post-match interviews went on.

Junhoe turned his head just slightly to look at him. “What?” He was wary of Jinhwan’s pending comment, wondering if he’d take it easy on him or rub it in for the rest of the night.

“Sorry your boy lost,” Jinhwan replied, before pulling something out of his bag, “I should have given this to you before the fight, but I was really hoping he’d win so I held on to it.” Jinhwan gave the shirt to Junhoe, who looked down at it and smiled.

“I told you not to buy me anything,” Junhoe replied, but of course he was happy with the gift, regardless of the loss, “but it’s perfect.”

Jinhwan grinned and kissed his cheek, happy that he wasn’t moody about the loss. “I’ll let you tap me later,” he teased.

Junhoe grinned back. "You'll let me put you in the rear choke? Emphasis on the ?"

Jinhwan nodded. "Yeah, emphasis on the ."

“Dude!”

Taeyong bent down to retrieve the ball with a grin on his face. “What?”

“Can you please stop throwing elbows at me?” Daehee held a hand against his cheek, fixing Taeyong with a hurt look.

“I’m not throwing elbows at you! That’s just what my arms are naturally doing. It’s not my fault you keep walking into them. Maybe open your eyes a little.” Taeyong tossed the ball at him, laughing when it struck him in the chest and bounced away.

“Seriously, you’re such an today.” Daehee hurried after the ball, picking it up and whipping it at Taeyong without warning. Taeyong managed to move out of the way just in time, laughing at the scowl on Daehee’s face.

“Need to work on your aim a little there, Dae!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll stick to basketball and stay away from dodgeball.” Daehee grinned back at him.

“Smart idea.” Taeyong picked the ball up again and made a proper pass to him. “Let’s have another go, and I promise I’ll keep my elbows tucked in just for you.”

“Yeah, you have to protect this beautiful face of mine, right?” Daehee joked, catching the ball and taking up his spot to practice layups.

“I wouldn’t call it beautiful. You’re a solid not ugly at best.” Taeyong replied teasingly, before running in to block Daehee.

“Say what you want, I know I’m good looking.”

“Why, because your mom says you are?” Taeyong teased, trying to steal possession.

“No, because Haeun says I am.” Daehee took advantage of Taeyong’s moment of surprise to pass around him and take a shot at the basket. It went in and he went off to retrieve the ball.

“Park Haeun? Said that you are good looking?” Taeyong stared at him in shock.

Daehee smirked back at him. “Don’t sound so surprised!”

Taeyong shook his head. “I didn’t think you were her type.”

“Oh yeah? What did you think her type was?”

“Good looking guys.” Taeyong grinned.

“Man, off. She talks to me all the time now, I’ll have you know. Think I’m gonna ask her out soon.” Daehee looked smug, and he threw a three pointer, grinning when it went in.

“Can I have her number?” Taeyong asked, serious.

“Why?” Daehee replied, looking wary.

“So I can give her my condolences.” Taeyong teased, grinning when Daehee glared at him.

“You’re such an , Taeyong! You were never this mean to me.”

Taeyong moved in towards him, making a grab for the newly retrieved ball. “Well, I’m a changed man, Daehee. Live with it.”

Daehee scowled, trying to block him. “I blame Kim Hanbin. Clearly being around him is making you so miserable you’re taking it out on me, your best friend.”

Taeyong huffed in irritation at the name. “, don’t get me started on him, I was in a good mood!”

Daehee grinned and reached out to pinch his cheek. “Aww, Tae Tae. What’s wrong? Did he not welcome you with open arms?”

Taeyong swatted at Daehee’s hand. “He’s super ing annoying, that’s what’s wrong.”

“Why, is he being his usual rude self?”

Taeyong shook his head, annoyed now that they’d started talking about him. “No, he’s being nosey. He keeps needling me for information about why I moved. I mean we got off to a super rocky start, and it was fine, but then he actually started being nice to me, but I know he’s just looking for information.”

Daehee stopped in his tracks, mouth open in shock. “Wait, Kim Hanbin is being nice ? That’s unheard of.”

Taeyong nodded. “It’s only because he’s the captain. Has to play the part well so everyone keeps kissing his .” Taeyong frowned. “He keeps saying that he wants to put our rivalry behind us, says we shouldn’t be enemies anymore.”

“Of course he would, trying to look like the bigger person.”

“It just irritates me thinking about it. We’re even lab partners in chemistry.” Taeyong hadn’t really complained much about it, because he couldn’t really to Woosung anymore. That was half the reason why he’d finally accepted Daehee’s invitation to hang out after weeks of avoiding him.

Daehee scowled and shook his head. “ dude, sorry to hear that. Is he smart, at least? Or is he making you do all the work?”

“No, he’s actually really intelligent, it’s like his only saving grace. I thought for sure he’d be the type to scam his way into good grades, but he’s actually one of the top students.” It annoyed him when he thought about it. Hanbin truly had everything that Taeyong wanted in life. It just wasn’t fair.

“Wow, that’s surprising. I always had him pegged as someone who would talk his way into getting good grades for the sake of sports.”

“I know. Just pisses me off even more, though. Like this has everything, Dae. There’s no way that someone like him is as nice as he’s pretending to be around me. I don’t buy it for a ing second.”

Daehee shook his head, watching Taeyong with calculating eyes. He’d been wanting to talk about Hanbin, because he was supposed to be finding out how Taeyong was doing around him. But he hadn’t wanted to pry on his own. But now it was time to dig a little deeper, make sure Taeyong wasn’t falling prey to him. “Still, it’s too bad. I mean you guys are both super smart and the best at basketball. It’s almost like you’re the same person, you’d be dangerous as friends.”

Taeyong agreed with Daehee, though he was careful to never voice that much out loud. But try as he might to fight it, there was also another side to it that he didn’t even like to admit in his own head. As annoying as Hanbin was, and as much as he couldn’t stand him, Taeyong knew part of that was only to hide his own potential attraction. Because Hanbin was everything Taeyong found attractive in a guy. They’d be dangerous friends, for sure, but they’d be unstoppable as a couple. They were both smart and powerful, both intimidating to other people who were below them. That was the sort of relationship Taeyong had always envisioned himself having. He’d grown up watching his own mother cower before his father, nothing more than a puppet who parrotted his opinions back to him. Taeyong didn’t want that. He wanted someone who was every bit as confident and aggressive as he was.

But he’d take the rivalry over any other possibilities any day of the week, because there was no way he and Hanbin could ever co-exist happily. Not as friends, and sure as hell not as anything more.

“Have you ever thought about it?” Daehee asked, and for one panicked moment Taeyong thought he meant a relationship.

“About what?”

“About dropping the rivalry and being friends.” Daehee was standing with the ball in his arms, watching him, and Taeyong felt nervous for a moment. Why was Daehee asking?

“Of course not.”

Daehee shrugged. “I mean, it really wasn’t until your dad started talking all kinds of about him that you started hating him. So really, you’re rivals because your dad made you rivals.”

“We’re rivals because I hate losing.” Taeyong replied, narrowed eyes trained on Daehee’s face. It was a weird shift in the conversation, to go from talking about what an Hanbin had been, to wondering if he’d make a good friend.

“You hate losing because you dad was always the world’s biggest to you any time you lost. No matter how you look at it, really, you hate Hanbin because of your dad.” Daehee looked back at him, his expression oddly neutral.

“Are you trying to say I should be friends with him?” Taeyong asked, wondering what Daehee’s whole purpose was. Daehee hated Hanbin for more reasons than just basketball, and it was weird to hear him talk about Hanbin and not mention his uality.

Daehee shook his head. “Not at all. It’s just weird, when you think about it. Plus, can you imagine how pissed off your dad would be if he heard you were friends now?”

Taeyong was careful in his response, not wanting to say anything that might sound suspect. There was no telling who Daehee might be reporting back to about this conversation. “Daehee that would be counter-productive to my life. I don’t want to piss my dad off anymore than he’s already pissed off.”

Daehee grinned at him. “Yeah, true. Still, you know I’ve got no love for your dad. He’s always treated you like .” Regardless of his other ulterior motives, reminding Taeyong that his dad was an would always be first on his list. He’d watched Taeyong cater to his dad on one too many occasions to ever hold any sort of admiration for the older man.

“Can we not talk about my dad, please?” Taeyong just wanted to drop the topic. He knew Daehee was right, but it didn’t make it any less painful.

“Sorry, bro. How are things with your grandma?”

Taeyong wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about her either. “Tense. She keeps making me go to this therapy thing at church, I ing hate it. I skipped a few times for basketball and it just pissed her off.”

Daehee frowned, because he knew exactly what sort of therapy Taeyong was taking. “Well, it’s to help you, isn’t it? So shouldn’t you be going?”

While Daehee had brought up the topic of conversion therapy before, it had been weeks since he’d mentioned it, and Taeyong had never told Daehee anything specific about what he was doing at church, but of course it didn’t surprise him that Daehee seemed to know exactly what was going on. Taeyong just wasn’t sure who’d told him about it. “The methods aren’t exactly all that helpful, to be honest. It feels like a big waste of time.”

Daehee shrugged. “Maybe you need to find another church.”

Taeyong struggled, how could he explain this without admitting his feelings to Daehee? He knew Daehee was ultra religious, just like his parents. Taeyong had to tread carefully. “Yeah, maybe, but my grandma is set on me going to that one.”

Daehee nodded and decided to drop the subject for now. He’d let her know what Taeyong’s response had been, though, because it was troubling. “How’s the social life outside of basketball, by the way? Are you, uh, are you dating anyone?”

Taeyong wondered what Daehee would think if he said yes. Would he assume it was a girl, that he was doing it in some attempt to cleanse himself?

“No, I’m not interested in anyone I’ve met.” That much was true, at least. He couldn’t be interested in any new guys if he didn’t really get to know any new guys.

Daehee wasn’t sure if he’d gotten an honest answer out of him, but he went right into his main plan for the night. “Ah that’s too bad. You know there’s a new girl in our class this year, Haeun is getting to be friends with her. She’s really hot.”

Taeyong felt like rolling his eyes, because he knew what Daehee was doing. “Oh yeah, you sure you should be saying that? What if Haeun hears about you calling some other girl hot?”

Daehee grinned at him. “Nah man, not for me! I’m just saying she’s attractive. And I’m telling you, her personality, man she reminds me a lot of you, actually. Like, I think you guys would make a solid couple, you’d really like her.”

Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek. There it was, eternal proof that Daehee would never be happy with him if he remained true to how he felt inside.

“I mean, you know whenever you start liking girls again. Maybe the problem is that you just never met the right one? Maybe I should set something up, you know? Maybe the four of us go out sometime together?” Daehee offered, wondering if Taeyong would take the bait. He wanted to try, desperately wanted to do his part to make Taeyong normal again.

Taeyong nodded, forcing himself not to say no right away. “Yeah, maybe.”

Daehee grinned at him. “I mean it would probably make your grandma happy, right?”

Taeyong nodded, and honestly, that was reason enough to agree to it. “Probably.”

“Get her off your back for a bit. What do you say? Should I set it up?” Daehee waited, curious about what Taeyong’s answer would be. If he refused, it would be a terrible sign. Of course agreeing wouldn’t necessarily mean anything either, but it would still be better than refusing.

Taeyong wanted to say no. Wanted to scream at Daehee for refusing to understand that something like uality couldn’t just be prayed away, no matter how much he wanted to believe it. He wanted to curse him and ask him to accept him as he was. But he knew that Daehee could never do that.

“Yeah, sure.” So instead he went the easy route, he took the path of least resistance, and he said yes.